“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Multi Million Lawsuit Brainwash

Today has been alot of the idea that I need a lawyer and the repitition of my having a multi million dollar lawsuit.

The only problem is that such a lawsuit if it ever got that far, would probably result in my ending up dead before it could be completed.

The other problem is that no matter how much I am paid, it can never bring back Jake and I being able to break up peacefully and remain friends, my being able to get away from the industry and go right to using my life experience to help others or replace my family, even if they were shitty.
Or bring back my finger or my looks, health, youth, intelligence. How is money going to do any of that? Its not.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Guy Looks Exactly Like My Dad Doing Tactics In Berkeley

Much better day today has been all day. No chemtrails in the sky, glad my friend pointed that out to me yesterday
A few attempts at tactics, weak usually which has defined the style here.
Grabbing back pockets, front pockets with or without (usually without) wallets is still popular and that seems to be in Boston and Cambridge MA as well.

Two girls black and white walked by earlier trying to get me to listen to some bs about living in denial which I ignored.

Due to my being able to ignore this a clever move was used. There is a guy with long hair who looks exactly like my dad walking up the main street here and a cross street. He passed by me earlier and didn't do anything unusual. But I definately took note of him.

Just now I was mesmerized by him and trying to really get a good look as he approached to pass my friends and I spanging. As he passed he grabbed his front pocket quickly and as he did rhe look on his face changed and he gave a sadistic facial expression quickly and just as quickly his face returned.to normal.

It was intersting to watch him walk away now knowing he was and is full of shit and faking that stupid look of a blank face in public.

The pocket grabbing has been so repetitive that was obvious but the look and him looking exactly like a young version of my father made the case for it even moreso to be gs psy warfare.

Finally Lost It In Berkeley

Happy now?

I can now attest with all certainty that Berkeley has a problem with severely mentally ill homeless people freaking out in public becuz they target the shit out of them here.

VERY bad day and worse evening. Hit so hard I self injured. (In order to force myself to not cry or show emotion becuz I was being hit extremely hard the effext of which was my being very distrsught and emotional about what has happened to me. For me to be tormented by that to where I am eanting to cry its not normal. Its either tech or those chemtrails).

Then I screamed at the students who are beyond snooty and obnoxious, thst they have their head up their asses CA sucks, its obvious this isnt Ivy League etc etc. Which was set off by some dumb ass India Indian not leaving me alone and trying to do the schtick where they ask me what I am doing sitting there, so this tirade started with me telling him to take his education home snd go fix his own poverty ridden screwed up country instead.of messing with an American citizen.

Child Molestation Frame Ups And Other Mechanics Of A GS Campaign


It still pisses me off to think about it. That those jerks back home even ATTEMPTED to frame me up for drug dealing and being a child pervert. Especially when the people behind the frame ups are the ones closer to those two activities themselves.

I got friends, I am told by pissed off perps who realized I wont be so easily gotten rid of. Probably my family's connections, who the hell knows.

They tried really hard to pick on everything I did and make it fit into some pedo profile I now see. Even then I knew very subconshusly I might be being watched every moment, but at that point its mind controlling to the victim. It made it easier, along with being harassed, to get me to do things or frame me up in set ups to make me look even more guilty of such things.

Jake and I sat on his bed and he showed me Japanamation that I now know is called Hentai. But it wasnt regular stuff you find on the internet it was VERY obviously crossing a line. Not 'questionable', but crossed that line. Ya know when you look at Hentai, as I have checked some out recently to see what its about....theres some stuff there that might be kinky, especially for female viewers relating to female characters etc? And then there is that one thumbnail where the girl just LOOKS way to young and you just shudder and pass it over? Like 'eww I am sooo not interested in THAT". That is basically what I remember him showing me in this graphic novel. And it was shocking, becuz the man I knew did not read things like that. I had never seen that in his porn collection before. I dont know if he was hiding it from me or not for four years but also there was something about the way he wanted me to view it. It was a test, like the perps do to TIs constantly with interrogation. He specifically asked me what I thoight of it and I got that feeling I now realize is when I am being watched or filmed. I knew it for sure one day after one of his buddies who lived down the hall from me, and was also busted for drugs with Jake, got me to talk some shit in his apartment but then looked at me and looked up at the clock face above his dining table then back at me. I think alot of that time I was being hit with so much other gang stalking tactics eslecially tech that I was in denial. Its as if that is part of the gs campaign, to grt the person to go into a weird state of KNOWING they are being watched but be in denial about it. It provides a kind of brainwashing type mind control over the victim. Only reading about gs over the internet can set you free from that grip, which inevitably leads to the TI committing suicide. Its always better if you KNOW what it is. Even if you eventually commit suicide, the TI does so in control of their situation. Being an activist and getting the word out to victims of gang stalking might literally be saving souls in the long run. You dont walk down this long painful path by yourself thinking you genuinely are such a bad person you deserve to die. You can die fighting and take yourSelf with you when you go. They dont win even if you die. The victim understands they were murdered not deserving of such a fate.

Anyway, the people who would be most suspect, accusing ME or trying to imply I was a child molester of some kind? Oh please. People in the music industry, especially old skool people, those old bastards were notorious for freaky shit like that back in the day with young girls anyway and one can only guess in general how much barter kiddies are in the industry at large even today.
And Julia my old boss/friend. The people she knew were scary as f*ck at times. Believe me. Douglas Bannerman? He was always a bit creepy from what little I knew about him. I recall he liked to chase young women but I never knew anything about kids. Yet some of Julias other associations one did get the idea that certain people in Boston knew about a real underground and scary service where kids could be gotten.

But I knew less about what goes on in either industry than the people trying to frame me is the most ridiculous part about it.

And how does trying to frame me up by stealing my pills from the pharmacy supposed to make Jake look not guilty of drug dealing? The kid was a well known pot dealer to begin with. His manager Orlando was furnishing him with downers and morphine to mix with his tequila constantly . Jake was dealing out of his parents house for years, when his fat ass was to lazy to drive. And I recall his source for pot was some local Newton kid who owned a studio or somehow got him a studio, some kid in a punk band I think. Met him once, wore all black. Real nerd.

Jake got busted with alot of pills. He had gotten them from one of his pot clients whos boyfriend in Newton had died of cancer, leaving her to move into Cambridge public housing.

Recently an old friend I contacted again claimed to have seen an article where my mother was in court and gave testimony that those pills were stolen as part of some law enforcement or court case looking for information.

Why is it that my mommy has to go to court for me and I never recieved a subpeona? Or why was I not called on to speak for myself?

Becuz when you are trying to frame your daughter up as mentally ill and unfit you have to stand in for her to make it look that way. Also, I get the idea from her actions as well as some questioning of my grandmother that the double crossing greedy bitch was hiding money under my name which is why perhaps legit law enforcement originally thoight I knew more than i did about Julie's criminal operations and benefitted from it more than I really did.

Julia Blackburn is a greedy evil selfish sociopath who is an extremely shrewd business woman and an extremely successful career criminal-which always meant that she was everything my mother tried to or wished she could be and my mother was always extremely jealous of Julias presence in my life and my attachment to her.

No matter what Julia has done without her influence on my life I would not have successfully survived this as well as I have. My mother hated her becuz she had taught me truly how to get out of the gutter as well as how to behave even when in the gutter to get greater favor from society. All my politeness and being able to kiss butt even under pressure, as well as being trained to put emotions or petty bs aside to conduct business is ALL due to being slave driven by that women. I learned what the WASP work ethic was all about. My mothers family is not capable of such a feat. Look even my uncle couldnt produce a successful family on his own without lording it over and destroyjng other family members. This is why, even though its been difficult, I can't just go right out and crucify anyone I used to know. Each person who tried to be the destroyer during that investigation which of course was actually a cover story for much more sinister ops, had given me something invaluable to grow in life and during that crisis-to survive and avoid destruction.

My mother is probably the most unforgivable of all of them. If she did go to court with that info, hiding it from me....using it to gas light me was a very nasty thing to do. She had to cover her arrogantly using my name to hide money. She had always treated me like I simply existed for her convenience and nothing more in life. Yet one has to understand what being targetrd for life can do to a person, and I know its hard to comprehend programming within human beings especially RA, but she seemed to posess a very nasty black widow kind of programming. Think about the nature of Satanic RA. Why would it be so shocking for a mother to murder her own child? Its not surprising really, even if that child is 30 something. My mother may even be programmed with such forced trauma, to protect that family and its secrets and will literally kill anyone who threatens its existence.

When she would hiss at me "DONT make waves" or "Dont mess with the family" she sounded more like a seasoned leg breaker or assasin than a mother. Well, that seems to be a part of every programmed person's make up internally anyway. The only reason i am alive from her killing me or I killing her is an agreement we have through our two alters that are mother and daughter, and perhaps the interference of handlers.

This is why I am not as shocked by her behavior as everyone else. I saw her act in sick ways over the years but during Bush the system just pushed so many people.

This is more than a federal investigation. Why was I tormented so much so I would look crazy to begin with? Ultimately in the context of a federal investigation what was done to me makes little sense. All anyone had to do was sit me down and warn me that I was being watched or filmed. That I migh be asked to testify. But instead everything possible was done to drive me nuts, make me look nuts and document me acting nuts.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

CA Sucks...Why Cant I Get This Through My Head?

Berkeley sucks. Its full of assh*les who are in on this. Its front is some old hippie bs but that is just referencing the old days. In fact, steps have been taken and a system in place to ensure no real reclvolutionary ideas or true change ever comes out of here again. Its crawling with gang stalkers to ensure thst is the case. The theory that the sixties was a product of the CIA is a very viable one. You gotta wonder about Merry Pranksters dosing people and sending thm.out into the desert to see what happens. How many of these types of peoplr will sell someone out to protect their drug businesses? The college is stuffed with conservative Bush and Romney supporting scum.

Another city as of now just like Cambridge MA that I can never return to.

Its beginning to look like leaving the countrh by any means possible is the only option left.

Fuck the USA I no longer want any part of it. I have traveled the country and dont fit in anywhere anyway. Americans are now so brainwashed I cant relate to them anyway.

I need to go somewhere that will pay attention to my story. I guess I did not realize that America is so guilty of war crimes that they must continue to persecute anyone who does not go along with thier plans or has information about the war crimes of the past administration.

I will not live the rest of my life being ignored. CA sucks more than any other state I have been to but I keep forgetting how FAKE and DECEPTIVE it is and keep returning.

I am hiding under a stair case charging my phone. Interestingly as I have done so I now hear helicopters above as I have ditched out of sight. I noticed them before when I arrived and before I was indoctrinated into the heavy brainwashing I noticed the presence of sich copters stayjng above the area I was in for a long time. Others in the street questioned why a copter would hover in the same place for so long as this seemed unusual.

I just experinced what seemed like a scan to look for me as i ditched out of sight. While the copters were over head doing what seemed like that, I experienced heavy sexual arousal as if there was a way to target that. Could this be part of how they find TIs? After my body responded or reacted and the arousal was felt deeply it seemed to disapate and the copters left. I now no longer feel safe under this stair well.

The being targeted here in northern CA is extremely dangerous. It tries to break your spirit as well as on the whole get you frustrated to give up.

Also i can see why serial killers so many come out of CA. I have expressed this before, while in SoCal. The frustration is incredible along with how fake and snobby the inhabitants are. They are totally horrid new money types and thier total lack of class and style is disgusting. They are so common and conformist its ridiculous.

I have to keep in mind that this state basically supports the agenda and Bush and his peeple regardless of how much of a Democratic state they claim to be.

In fact I seem to do better in red states for some reason. These are no longer real Democrats. Not like the Kennedy type. I dont even think real democrats exist anymore.

Its all just special interest scum snd military industrial complex.

When are we going to admit the military now runs the US? That tech and psych warfare is being used to keep the population under control?

Maybe in some other country, being targeted wont be so bad. I can never return to the northeast becuz the environment there is uninhabitable. I was getting so sick, something was effecting my insides- that internal bleeding I had and all that. When I got away from the northeast, further out past the midwest, it subsided. I felt my healthiest in the dry states like Nevada.

Its much more inhospitable than 2009. Berkeley purposefully doesnt manage the homeless scene or the severely mentally ill here. They are too tolerant snd its so that they perpetuate the worst homeless scene and then they can fix this of course with a zero tolerance policy and probably and End Homelessness campaign forcing everyone into housing.


A Strange Claim About Robert Eggplant and Hellarity House

This weird kid at a drop in I went to tonight claimed that a man called Dr Shabubu (http://m.myspace.com/home.wap?bfd=webnext&isredirected=true#friends.list/profile/79572013)
was going around posting things in the area concerning Robert Eggplant of Hellarity House squat in Berkeley/Oakland CA, having recently teamed up with a nasty female Wiccan or perhaps left handed path practitioner and this acffecting people at the squat house. He also claimed that Dr Shabubu claimed Eggplant was involved with a sex torture cult that specifically targeted young women. He claimed they kicked him out most likely for being himself. He was a bit nerdish and not quite all there, but what struck me was his quick break into laughter while telling this story. As if he himself was full of sh*t and might as well be just as suspect for the very content of his story. A bit to close to be coincidence right? That end of gang stalking being exactly what accurately describes thier activities.
One cannot judge accurately whether his claims are accurate and this is why I was perped at Hellarity in 2009 or if this young man telling the story is the perp..or if they are both part of whatever this is.

I would say this is definately tied into the gang stalking campaign due to the content of activities he described being dead on accurate.

He actually used another term to describe their activities, it was sex, torture and something else.

I would say that Hellarity house is definately off limits to anyone targeted and avoid anyone associated with the house or scene as well.

There was a noticable preference for young women as guests at Hellarity az well as what Eggplant said to me was definately mind fucking.

Another sick scene connected to musicians, just like the famous jerks in Boston who gave my ex Jake his foot in the door after he did his part to destroy me.

Seems a common thread, industry people being real sickos.

Perhaps this entire thing is just a joke to whoever is involved. Perhaps that is so but somewhere in this there is some very serious subject matter such as high level programming and of course the connection to MK Ultra.

There are some White Supremacist houses, like collectives or punk houses in Oakland and around this area, dont know if that is a lead to Nazism or sympathizers to that culture which of course is what MK Ultra is from being rooted in Project Paperclip.

Humans do very strange things and many of them seem to act out of being cult mind controlled but dont even realize it. It really takes alot of the edge off of the perps power as well as the abuse when you realize that a number of people dont even realize how deep this goes or what a campaign like this is really about.

Yet in say, that hostel in St Louis owned by Cochran, this nutcase Wayne was a major pain to be around was definately in on the psychological warfare and when talked with he KNEW about the use of the weapons and technologies on Targeted persons.

I think in the twenty first century many people understand what this system is capable of snd what is being done to its victims.

It just seems like something in human beings that is naturally occuring in these holocaust scenerios, is able to write the victims off easily.

Its just that Americans are not used to seeing such attitudes so its mind blowing and confusing.

Getting Lost In Berkeley CA

I cannot believe that people are making it so I have to live out the rest of my life suffering like this, living in this limbo.

I didn't do anything. This is why one eventually comes to the conclusion that America prefers its criminals to its innocents and that generally speaking it sucks.

I could see if this happened in just one town or even region, that I would have to leave. Start again somewhere else....but EVERY frickin place in the USA??? O get like this. O sometimes fall into believing the imposed cover story.
I just now thought about my travels and recalled memories of being gang stalked pretty much everywhere and thn i tried to think of someplace i wasnt gang stalked and realized that only one little tiny town in Ill on the Tenn border seemed to not have any issues and it also had no remote influence, of course I had NO CELL RECEPTION there. And in the hospital i went to in this town they seemed to know who i was. some did. but on the street i didnt get any harassment and no remotr influence. so just now did i remember that this is about a way bigger conspiracy than the circumstances of my little life, the cover story.

which means i am slipping mentally and being braonwashed here in Berkeley.

Which figures I guess.

Sometimes we are hunan like everyone else and simply want to have happy productive little lives and not be involved in something so f*cking epic....like breaking the illusions put forth by mass mind control, which of course is what I am stupidly sacrificing my lifespan for..which I feel is my 'job' anyway, but often you just want to be ignorant, happy human mammals like the rest of whst you see daily. I think all these snooty Cali student types here and the spanging being bad and getting attitude just for ASKING for money is getting to me.

And its obvious my work is either going to be shelved yet quietly accessed in future or is going to simply be written off as nutter bs, but I know thats in the near future not far off.

Still I just want to be brilliant, in school and happily living with cool friends. This place will do thst to you. It will make you forget your....other obligations on this planet at this time in history.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Fuck The United States

I dont understand why people look at me with certain looks. Some seem to hang thier head a bit. Others look as if they think for a millisecknd that its wrong or looking at me strains them but most disturbing is the latter reaction with a kind of smile ending before they pass completely.

I want to believe they are just psy ops perps, doing this on purpose.
And people wonder why there are lone shooters.

By this stage woukdnt YOU hate humanity? You are denied all rights as a citizen, controlled and have all of lifes opportunities kept from you as you are slowly dedtroyed.

America is not good. Its not free and its not just. Its simply far to big and powerful for its critics and victim witnessed to its crimes to ever have any say, or revealjng the truth.

I mean look at my life. I am one of the most innocent peolple out of everyome I was involved with.

Yet I am hated, mocked, reviled and the destruction of my life seems to bring smiles to peoples faces or a good laugh. I have had to watch my old friends and family members move up in the world and accomlish things whike I live in the street. And if I ever try to explain what really happened I am written off as mentally ill and that its genetic from my father. Even though I can clearly map out how this cover up was laid out from day one and can provide information making it obvious that everyone around me had motive much of it to cover their criminal activities.

I will never have any justice and will never be able to grow as a person or an artist. Never be able to express my intelligence or artistic talent.

I have been written off into the gutter and no one reallu cares. In fact they guiltily walk by and insist on keeping it in the past.

America sucks. End of story. Americans suck. They are horrible awful people who will do anything to anyone to live in a fantasy world, not one of their own making that is perhaps an escape which harms no one else, but a large agreed upon LIE which requires that multitudes of human beings be murdered, killed, exploited and sacrificed in order to keep thier amusment park running.

So someone like me is forced to go the way of the American Indian. A very inconvenient fact which represents the hard reality that America is stolen land, built on exploitation and brutality and slavery and is full of shit....and nothing has changed. The slave labor is simply in other countries now, the child labor as well.

The covert actions by certain independent state actors, which has been documented in various books over the decades ad well as can be backed up with testimony from govt documents, is blatantly ignored by American citizens and written off as conspiracy theory out of convenience.

Americans are dangerous, greedy, perverse children who secretly revel in their domination of the rest of the world via bloodshed and sneakiness.

I curse the days that my ancestors bothered to come over here at the turn of the century. It seems to have worked out well for some of my relatives, whos parents were in on my gang stalking campaign as well as were always most American in their character: greedy viscous self serving masculine warlike status seeking pieces of garbage.

I hate the American fantasy. I hate Americans. If Romney gets in my life certianly wont get any better.

Every day I feel like the weight of this entire country is on my back to carry around for the rest of my life. Dont tell me that occultism doesnt exist in order to create great empires.
Fuck America. I am getting out I just dont know how. I want to go back to the homeland. At least there, sharing and Diversity cant be used to destroy me and my people. In Europe, defending against invading Muslims who are being used to destroy our culture over there will be defending native land, not keeping someone from getting ahead, (who in actuality here in cities such as Boston, are the very people keeping US from getting ahead).

I want out of the amusement park. I get nothing out of being here except mocked by ignorant people and evdry day I have to look at others have good lives while I just get older.

While I am constantly denied the rights I am supposed to have as a citizen.

I hate this place and will never be satisfied until my story is heard, understood, believed and those responsible give me back what they took from me.

As well as financial compensation.

Since no one cares about me and insists I simply learn to live with what happened, as if it NEVER HAPPENED, this country can go f*ck off. Your covert ops people who ensure you have a good life here is who you love.

And I want to make sure the whole world knows that on Sept 11 America didnt get what it deserved, what it deserves is to have to face and pay for all its crimes against humanity.

Fuck the United States.

You have no idea how sick and twisted the people involved in black operations are as well as the classified projects they are involved in.

I refuse to live the last decade of my life out as a servant of the United States, carrying its crimes and secrets around with me.

Screw you America you deserve everythng you get becuz Disneyland is more important than Truth.
helped out a homeless old man who was being harassed by a drunk student. jock type. cops were called. (there are times when official authority or power structures handling other power structures in a community is the way to go about things as opposed to handling it yourself
i am not messing with a student against an old homeless man. its best to let the cops see its for once not The Homeless who are going to be at fault or blamed for.whatever is going on.)

after that i felt the years of harassment melt a way a bit.

i felt confident.

after a time a sheriff car came by and really checked things out. then cop car after car went by.

strangely this dissolved my new found confidence.

after years of conditioning, of torture the system to push my buttons seems fully formed and complete.

with very little effort edpecially now with such beavy all pervasive psycho management, it seems i can be controlled, kept confused snd down all the time.

today being sunday there was relief. i exlerienced this place as it really is not through a haze.of.electromagnetic pollution.

tomorrow, its back down the rabbit hole.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

There's Nothing There

I love this...often the impression I get is that the people involved in this have decided that they have won. Its done and overwith.

Yet something tells me that is not the case. That is merely their perception..and they dont have all the information.

One of the disturbances I have been obessing over or my mind has been running intermittently is this conversation that never actually occured.

This idea that someone was very interested in me, fascinated by me but after pursuing that line, decided "theres nothing there". As if I am all talk or just an illusion or create illusions.

Its simply more torture and the perps did give to this directly as they alwaus do. Carmen this petty shelter rat in Cambridge said something about people being obsessed with me and "thinking someone is exciting when they're not".

Its pretty hard to indulge in some sort of pagan fantasy like Whore of Babylon material when you're fighting for your life and trying to preserve a Self internally and not loose all memory from brain damage etc.

The constant containment and torture in the northeast was ridiculous. Its just so evil and oppressive and the number and variety of people involved is astounding.

Staff in homeless resource centers and clients as well? How much covert ops runs the east coast anyway? Especially MA, the heavily military industrial complex influenced state that hides behind acedamia and Childrens Hospital etc.

Its so typically Masonic isnt it? To balance out your evil deeds with your good.

One just gets tired of the compartmentalization and duality. Not that this isnt an example of great power.

Perhaps like everything else it gets outgrown.

Boston from this perspective, is so evil, so stunted in growth, that its amazing anyone with any soul or a heart could survive much less thrive there to begin with.

In the past, I suppose there was room for that, people could afford to live in those places untouched directly by this spiritual toll.

It seems now everyone present has to take part.

Durin Bush when it was very nasty in the US no matter where you went, it was especially so in specific locations. St Louis being one of them. Boston and NYC were totally and completely saturated by these...this force.

Boston felt completely occupied by it for at least the months out of one particular year I was there, I believe 2009 but I would have to reference my documentation.

The entire city felt dark, cold and hosting a presence thst was nothing short of evil itself.

Its become so controlled there, so competitive that you csnt even be human anymore. Its as if people arent even human beings there anymore.

This is what these technologies are capable of as well as using brainwashing and social control methods. Humans can be made to really become viscous and its disturbing how civilized they may appewr living out that process.

Boston, once a truly fun place to live has, like NYC become one of the major centers for the purest evil that defines the New Satanic Era.

Who knew Satanism could be so boring or constraining? Why does it have to be so...it just strikes me that this Satanic Age is a front for something else.

When humans are Satanists they give off a certain vibe, like a spiritual scent. Humans reveal themselves in this manner. Some have an actual anti vibe or a void they present. All of which is naturwl normal states of being for humans.

What I experienced through the Bush years was not human. Evdn the presence I experienced in Boston was somewhat less disturbing than whatever this is that seems to plague the entire northeast.

Its an interesting statement, that theres nothing there. Or for Carmen to claim I am not exciting, becuz if this system had not destroyed me over these years and kept me down, those statements would surely be proven untrue.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Public's Acceptance Of Gang Stalking..or Just More Psy Ops?

I keep recalling all the things that have been said to me over the course of this. Members of the American public saying things like "well your life is so miserable anyway" or "She has no rights" or pointing me out and telling the person next to them "see now shes targeted".

These do not all appear to be psy ops agents or criminals or greedy, crazed f*cked up crooked cops. These often appear to be normal, random people.

The greatest question asked by all TIs is just how many people know one is targeted and exactly how is it that they know?

Its horrible to percieve that our society is now so completely corrupted that random members of the public would know who we are. Its insane.
What seems to be percieved by them as total lawlessness and crime or gang activity is usually the kind of actions that come handed down from high places with much legal ass covering well planned ahead and designed to accomplish just that.
Using guises like 'national security' seems to work. Outsourcing to private black ops companies in the private sector is another possible method.

Simple black ops from state actors may also suffice. I have read that certain projects are so black that if the president inquired about them, the standard answer would be 'No such project exists, sir'. Either those choices or we have a very big problem in this country now with organized crime having access to technologies they should not be allowed access to by any government.

Gang and organized crime involvement should be no surprise after the evidence left behind by Iran Contra. Obviously our intelligence agency, which dedcribes itself on its website as seperate and private from other state actors, has a dept that consistently involves itself in things that are unsavory and often seem clinically insane to normal, decent people.

Things like Jim Jones and Jonestown, Iran Contra...etc.

There are probably many other sources of power and activity that are hidden from the public thus trying to figure out who exactly is responsible is naive and crazy making.

One thing is certain; they break laws, domestic ones concerning human and civil rights abuses and international laws concerning war crimes and they dont get caught or exposed, they never get pay for what rhey do to people either through the proper channels of the justice system or via any outside methods. They are above the law and below the radar.

To actually have a large segment of the American public knowing that a human being is a targeted individual and they not doing anything to counter that, stop it or even being outraged by that situation shows how very weak and powerless the American people can be in the face of oppression and illegal actions such as these. It also shows what mass mind control can do to an entire nation once implemented....

Typical Harassment In A Liberal Blue State: More AfroAmeri Male Perps, More Attempts At Mojo Workin'

There is a very crazy and creepy older black male around Berkeley who insists on sitting in places that make me feel uncomfortable, pointing towards me in an obvious manner. This man exhibits severe mentally ill behavior and is definately seeking attention and stwlking.

I got a picture of him and if anyone can trace him especially if he has a record as a sex offender I would appreciate it.

In Boston I would get black males like this who were just as creepy and aggressive and the few times I did get this kind of overt stalking behavior, they evrntually revealed that they were connected to the gang stalking system. These males usually have criminal records for sex offesnses, which makes them perfect for use by the gang stalking system.

Needless to say this kind of scum gets off on stalking of course.

He did not purchase anything. He came in, sat down and had to turn the chair and table specifically as in the photo to face me and did so very overtly and in a covertly aggressive manner. This is the second time this individual has done this.

Also there was no other outlets to use in the room so moving wasnt an option.

Interestingly as I played with the camera in order to get the flash off etc the light for filming came on a few times.

As it did an interacial couple to my right got very nervous though it was nicely masked by the comment, something about getting out of there to get away from the drama.

They left in a hurry though.

So an interacial couple is in front of me and a creepy black street homebum whos stalked before comes in and sits to my right and faces me in a way that only a stalker could to be offensive to his victim.

This system has been working on my issues with race since the beginning but really pushing it in the last year or so, before that even. As of Obama.

It would be just perfect to discredit me by working on my last nerve this way and if I choose to defend myself naturally I would, and they know that, I will be a racist and drop the N bomb like it was nothing after years of harassment.
And create a racial seperatist if not a supremacist after enough torture.

If not however, if I found such behavior or thought processes distasteful, or feared reprocussion from society disapproving due to they not even understsnding there is a very real culture war if not race war going on as part of the NWO, then the results would be submission to constant African American male harassment and stalking, the results of which would be that I end up with an African American male as a boyfriend etc.

I have posted at other times when this ideation has been pushed using remote influence snd it has, no doubt about it. Using race is an intricate and important part of creating the NWO.

The easiest way to lower my status as well as have me handled is to get me to start having African American males as boyfriends.

This may seem racist but you have to understand this isnt civilian life-this is not peacetime these are not normal circunstances.

Gang stalking is a constant campaign of psychological warfare, military and CIA grade and style, upon a Targeted Individual.

Its only purpose is to NEUTRALIZE THE TARGET. This means that you can trust no one and nothing can be truly taken at face value.

Its not normal to be sexuallly tortured along with pushing a hypnotic suggestion to 'get with a black man'. It is not normal circumstances to be hit with strong ideations consisting of the idea that I, as a white person, shoukd give up my rights and life in order to make life better and share with African Americans. Wouldnt it make more sense for this to occur to a wealthy white or someone with access to resources?

Political correctness and brainwashing pushing race mixing or similar destroys the act of FREE ASSOCIATION among people in society. You are simply creating a different kind of forced, rigid society. June and Ward are still pushed through propaganda as the ideal except Ward is now a black man and June is white or OTHER, whatever media propaganda serves the agenda at that time.

Its still a falsely created reality and that in itself should be suspect.

If I were interested in this type of ethnic male, I would have had a long history of African American boyfriends, if that were my taste, by nature, it would have been exhibited by now.

I dont need psy ops or brain washing to dictate to me my taste in men. I am forty years old, I know quite well what I find attractive and though African American males are often allies as associates in society, or there is an amount of sympatico in dealing with purely WASP societies at times, they are not my taste in mates.
Niether are alot of other kinds of males though often beautiful to look at, they do not appeal to me as breeding materials. Though I wont have children in my lifetime, this is where my judgement comes from in choice of mate.

There has also been alot of non sense with other kinds of ploys lately, some of which seem very geared towards making me comfortable or completely accepting of blacks specifically males.
I know these are ploys becuz of the way its done. And believe me, I know damn well that blacks have great acting skills, fancy themselves predators and believe themselves to often be smarter than whites and certainly that a mind control victim like myself to be easily controlled and fooled.

They often treat me like a mere child.

The way blacks do battle with people of European heritage often shows its painfully obvious we did NOT grow and evolve together in the same geographical location, save for whatever European DNA African Americans may posess.

Mind you when dealing with African American agents of the 'gang stalking' system in psychological warfare or as criminals working for an organized syndacate, take into consideration always the true nature of the African American or any kind of Afro plus cultural backround. Consider that they may posess anything from European DNA to Native American to having Jewish heritage even.

Know thy enemy.

For TIs this is not racism....let the rest of the world think that if necessary. This is psychological warfare or dealing with criminals, both of which look for a Target's weaknesses and how best to manipulate the person. This is not normal life.

If it were, complete strangers wouldnt be coming up to you knowing intimate details about your life that could only be gotten from an intelligence report from an entity with unlimited access.

This is NOT normal life.

Gang stalking perps are often child molesters, multiple felons or complete lunatics or sadists. They are always people who are capable of the greatest hatred, jealousy, and pettiness. They always have great disregard for the Target's safety and even if we live or die. In short, gang stalking perps are usually extremely sick or damaged people who are extremely dangerous by normal standards.
Unless they are people who are still fairly sane with some idea of normalcy, who for whatever reason, have been forced into compliance. Usually these types show a healthy amount of guilt, shame, remorse or fear concerning the situation and how abused the TI is.

So due to the extremity of the situation, what seems to outsiders like racism might well be healthy self defense.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Harassment Here in north CA

Alot of mention of Boston, idiots walking by me calling me Boston, black males of course, a guy from MA standing right in close contact when there was an entire sidewalk just so i could hear him tell some street kid his name is Boston complete with accent, that of course was before the black kid waltzed past acknowledging me as being called Boston. Last night kids walking by the squat making fun of Boston the location not a person. During day lots of attempts at gs using old tactics that no longer work. So to attempt to stress the TI out, myself that is, a variance of old tactics are used fairly consistently with breaks of time in between.

Some collefe kids here in cafe talking about suicides not being reported, then talking about Boston, then some other obvious reference i forget.

this cafe, the Mediterranean has a very strong remote influence going on, but its a comfortable place to sit and charge phone drink coffee.

Heavy on the Truman Show effect as far as content goes and alot of feeling depressed and going though memories along with brainwashing along lines of how i cant win to trying to continue behavior modification or changing who i am.

its especially bad in back where i usually sit.

So Berekely is not really fun due to being targeted constantly, which I think is the point.

Also recieved multiple pushy 'suggestion' mostly through vision and ideation to leave here and go with my trucker friend today. Like trying to force me out of here.

Almost constant interface, interestingly just like Boston/ Cambridge another old Liberal haven.

The difference felt after approx 12 midnight is amazing. Makes me sad as the place would be so great if I were allowed to expwrience it without interference.

Now annoying kids are discussing Catholicism.

Someone once intimated that alot of what if done to me stems from the Catholic church.

Nice try but MIND WAR was conceptualized by Michael Aquino, a psy ops officer in the Army and Temple Of Set founder and former high priest- a Satanist and Nazi sympathizer, into Nazi occultism and the Pope was a Nazi youth in Germany.

Once again back to thosthat reference again.

All along in this I have to say it does feel like whst is being done is to drive me into Christianity or to go find solace in my family's Catholic faith, one I was never baptized into.

Wby would a Satanic faction or Nazi faction want me to become any kind of Chrisroan at all?

The only possibility is thst way I am controlled as well as its perfect fr ensuring my aggression be handled or controllrd stifled whstever by a belief system.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Howard Stern Not A Money Grubbing Jew- Just Another Show Biz Nimrod


Various things wrong with this.

Andy Dick shoukdnt be leaning on such easy, predictable insults to go after a person for business or personal reasons. Its counter productive.

Since when can you renig on a legally binding contract simply becuz the show 'sucks' in one mans perception? This is either publicity seeking from both of them or they are both just really hot headed and stupid.

Nice one, Stern intimating that being in show biz, Dick would have to wait for a Jew to give him a job.

Sick of Stern after he lost his soulfulness and real sense of humor in the 90s. The show was actually pretty funny at times then. Except for the over the top displays of sexism, such as the video 'Wild Thing' starring Jessica Haun degrading herself as some sort of penance with now dead Sam Kinison sreaming a whining self pitying version of lyrics to the Troggs famous hit song.

Complete with every wife beating, sexist pick imaginable like Steven Tyler etc assisting in mobbing her . I dont think Bussey was there but who knows?

It was so long ago....funny how nothing much has changed. Except nowadays people have to be stealth about their abusiveness, which is why Dick looks bad, he isnt taking the time and care to hide like everybody else nowadays.
The way they turn someone so crazy is by simply harassing the person until they become so crazy no one wants to deal with them and they are left totally isolated. Thus self talk inside ones home slowly progresses into full blown insane seeming behavior in public.

I discovered something tonight, or this morning I should say.

I climbed this huge hill from Peoples Park and was followed overtly by cops (finally) into this area, where as i had not experienced overt gang stalking the entire time I have been here.

Nice houses, frat houses etc.

I noticed that as I climbed this steep hill that I began to be followed by cars in a typical gang stalking fashoin also.

At a much higher altitude, near the ending of this road at top of steep hill, I realized that THERE IS LITTLE TO NO REMOTE INFLUENCE making me crazy.

I also feel healthier, like the air quality is better.

I realize that most of the day and evening in Berekely, there has been active psy ops occuring, but i am so used to it by now and have become accustomed to blocking it out I was only getting bits and pieaces of whats been being said. however, it DID serve to make me feel isolated and thus kept me responding to remote influence makng me crazy mentally and of course my coping by talking to myself in public.

At this height, at this time of night, I could not feel more sane.

I suspext that this entire set up in Berkely is for the convenience of the perps, so they dont have to drive or walk around up here. Once again, within another city in a different location I have experienced thst in person psy ops human forces in unison with tech is used to create a prison like area of space to keep TIs contained. I found my way outside the parameters.

What Is Public Perception Of Me?/ We Now Exist In A Dreamworld From 6 AM til Midnight Daily, Above Ground

Ninety percent or so of the American population seem to know my adukt entertainment backround. There cannot possibly be that many people in the black ops business either from private sector or state actors.

Therefore one must assume that I was exposed on that level in some way that was made widely available to the American public.

The question is not why, becuz I already know the true motivations behind exposing me in this manner, for diversion away from Jake and Julie as well as corruption in Boston who protects such people but of course the very truest motive, which is to avoid any more testimonies from recovering mind control victims ESPECIALLY when like myself connected directly to
MK Ultra as through my mother's documented status.

However, one must question WHY it was so important to focus on me specifically. I think I was probably marketed as such, as well as the country was purposefully brought in that direction, with reality shows, the normalizarion of spying and hidden cams etc, as well as an entire generation born native who simply dont know any better.

It seems that generally the public feel guilt yet hateful towards me. From what I can gather outside of the inside story, where real motive lies, what I do percieve is the public seem to just think of me as a paranoid schizophrenic whom was perhaps exploited or driven crazy or my condition made worse by being exposed, targeted and bullied. And that I deserved such treatment due to the fact that I was in adult entertainment and since this was the way in which I was exposed, then this is the sole reason for my percieved downfall as a citizen, as a woman etc.

Since the American public, especially my peers and the younger generations regard me with such hostility nation wide, I really should not be wasting my time living in the United States.

Some Irish men who visited Tom Cochran's hostel in St Louis MO during Bush, just one faction of people who terrorized me there, told me that if I left the country, I would be a threat.

I dont understand what they meant, but I wonder if that was just at that time period or if that would also be the case now.

I would like to leave, to see if conditions as a TI are any better but with the remote influence so strong nowadays during Obama, its impossible to be realistic. In fact its impossible to think rationally or live IN reality.

The tech used now seems to create a dream like state of being for the entire nation.

If I am going to disinigrate or slowly be destroyed, these are not the conditions I want to die under nor age under.

There has got to be something else out there. Another country where, I can be myself and not this fake person I have been forced to create and live as.

This country fears reality and the truth like the Black Death itself. The entire Tech Native generstion seems to have a neurotic fear of what Gen Xers recall as 'reality' or the real physical world, the Natural world. It almost registers as for them, connected to death itself or thier very existence. For them, removing tech from their lives might be as oppressive as what we now percieve as a world ruled by it.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

I just looked it up. The bastard FBI have offices in Oakland and lovely Hayward as well.

Explains alot. Couldnt find CIA offices locally didnt look hard.

Been ridden hard all day. exteemely hard with thoughts so disturbing that my social networking site is now full of public statements comcerning my being close to starting a moderate seperatist movement for whites. Mostly thanks to harassment both in person and otherwise in Hayward.

I should have known that the place where COINTELPRO did so much damage decades ago would srill be a useful tool. The place is infested and nowadays its probably easy to get people to work for them eother by intimidation, blackmail or pure patriotic idiocy. Rats are a dime a dozen now. A penny a dozen really.

When am I going to get around to suing them for what they or other parties impersonating them, did to me during that federal investifation.


Chasing me around the country claiming the FBI wants to talk to me without a subpeona and also interrigating me constantly asking me where I am going and how long etc, the worst insults were "so what do you think of George Bush?"

Such state actors in this country are now so arrogant, so powerful and so unstoppable that they treat the destructiokn of human lives as a joke. THEY decide who is decent, who is rich enough and who deserves to live.

And all these state actors think they have won and already discredited me.

Go fuck yojrselves. I have info that is going to sink YOU and your disgusting counter parts in the CIA, that scum who believes they are a truly "independant" agency.

Why not just say 'rogue' as its closer to the truth.

Chinese Mafia

Something just said "chinese mafia". yeah i had been warned in person about thst before. and there is direct connection to my old associates. and they are very powerful here on the west coast, Bay Area arent they? Would make sense anyway.

CA Has Been Horrible

Nothing outside Berkeley is safe in northern Cal. And even Berkeley is so saturated by the damn towers and whatever other delivery system (see MINDWAR) that going outside Berkeley was one of the most demeaning, damaging experiences in al my years being targrted. CA is absolutely off limits. The amount of perps is outrageous and they completely saturate the area, surrounding the TI walking around as if everything is normal. If I had not spoken to some regular, normal nice people who are not gang stalkers I wpuld have been totally brainwashed into believing the entire city of Hayward was in on this. Talking to regular, average citizens can really break the hold gang stalkong perps have on a TI.

This is why its so important to isolate the TI so they begin to believe everyome is in on it when in reality, they are constantly being surrounded and isolated from normal people and population via an interconnected network of gang stalking groups.

Hayward was awful, BART is horrid and the racjsm towards whites here is disgusting. Then again, the whites here are weak and disgusting to begin with. Get some pride people.

Endometriosis Interfering With Travel/Being Female Used Against TargetsTarget

Yesterday was terrible. I got my period today so for one week I will be able to think straight at least. Ever since this began I notice that being female is used against a TI.

The remote influence seems more effective on me when I am full of hormones-when I menstruate the effectiveness of this drops off.

I was foolish to stay in Boston for one full year. Every time I go back there my endometriosis becomes active and seems to grow. My body seems much more sexually charged on the east coast generally.
With what I have seen over these years its not beyond some entity to put something in the air or water to make that be as such. It could also be a by product of manufacturing or hospital waste or content of human waste remaining in the water.

My posts were very emotional last night, lol.

Its horrible to percieve gang stalking serves also as a prison sentence and penalty for simply being female. I was told this was the case by an older female Target years ago. A woman who was friends with Eleanor White. They both have been targeted alot longer tham I. Overtly targeted that is. Many TIs realize we have been targeted life long after settling in with it after it goes 24/7 and overt.

She told me that this system wants to shut women down before they become activists. To ensure women have children so they are kept busy.

That these forces that quietly shape society know that women often take action to fix something in society not from greed or politics. This pure hearted motivation is very dangerous to the system in place that is inherently corrupt.

There seems to also be, within the metaphysical and secret societal end of this, a fear of returning to a matriarchal society.

Something happened to my health back there, in Boston since I stayed for the whole year. I kept getting warnings to leave. I just couldnt. I am so attached to that place as home I somehow got wrapped up into that. I realize now that location has been destroyed. Its so targrted, managed and monitored that its an impossibility that any threat like myself would ever be allowed to live there.

Its more frustrating knowing that my mother and I are the only two that have endometriosis and this autoimmune condition is most likely due to her radiation exposure as an infant.

The fact its now getting in my way to travel, survive and function while staying on the run in order to try to put this project together is yet another slap in the face.

That is also yet another thing that the powers that be dont want broadcast: that the pollution in the environment and much of the hormones and medicines we take are simply bad for womens bodies. Destructive. Not just females but all humans.

I was also doing research into the progestins I was taking before they took them off the market. Ovrette it was. That much of its affects were the same as men taking steroids. I also had the idea that if women are more suseptible to toxiplasmosis in early pregnancy due to first trimester elevated progesterone levels, were women taking progestins to fool the body into this same state of being (to prevent pregnancy and stop endometriosis from growing), more susceptible to parasitic diseases also?

I was doing alot of interesting things and this is why I wanted to go to UMass becuz I knew I didnt have the education to actually keep up with my ideas and scant knowledge gained through self education.

Watching Mitt Romney/Rick Perry stand off. Mitt has support of Bush. Hes been in the public eye longer. And if he gets in, my life yet again will have to be interrupted and uprooted, brought to another country this time. The only reason I havent left yet that route is my health. But if Romney gets in it will be necessary. I dont trust anyone close to Bush and after a Romney family member Laura was in on this, a direct connection to Jake, and all those rich scumbags in MA, I dont want to live under that final slap in the face. That is just way too much of a submission, it would seal the time line. If I accept life in America under Romney, I submit to accepting defeat and forgetting about what happened and what was taken from me. I would be permanently silenced about whst I saw and what was done to me.

Perhaps its better to go elsewhere and have no health coverage at all. As it is I am so targeted at this point I cannot seek any necessary health care and note my exlerience with Mt Auburn hospital they were not properly documenting my health status and conditions most likely to further discredit me and to take from any documentation of a lawsuit in future.

Graphic Video of Plane Accident Local News Here Bay Area CA

News report here with graphic vid of accident. Airplane crashed into spectators. When I see true to life traumatic things like this, when I see humans hurt unexpectedly, when I hear them scream in confusion I dont take it in as entertainment. I dont like seeing it or seek it out as a thrill.

It made me cry a bit actually. It was unpleasant.

What struck me is that they should show war footage to the publoc and reveal just how horrible battle really is.

This idea that somehow this is so sixties to show the trith about war makes no sense.

Why in this day and age are humans acting lke beasts? How can we insist and demand PC etc at home and still have a military industrial complex?

The more I live thrpugh being gang stalked the less and less human life makes any sense on this planet at this tike in history.

Blue Bloods

Blue Bloods.
Hmm lets see. Anything with a Wahlberg in it I dont trust considering they seem to support any and all scum power structures in Boston. And a staunch supporter or Bush and Repubs generally (Reagan is their family name? Give it up) Tom Selleck.

Little to close to home and the three generations working together is just touching. Like the Bush family perhaps? Or perhaps the families thst many of us have lost? The family connections broken by gang stalking.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Laughing At Me And My Work

Also understand something. I am very disrespected by many Americans. People in Boston like cops and their junkie informants like Patrick from Harvard Sq, both scum equally, will both say the exact SAME thing to me (which is how I know that those two geniuses (snicker) have been communicating with each other) . They would each at different times repeat the phrasr "This is the REAL WORLD". The cop said 'this is the real world ya know' and Patrick junkie informant would say " This is the real world rachael" after denying me a spot at the Tannwry one night.

Then week or so later this poor girl those scumbag guys got hooked out there and pregnant as well, was overdosing or miscarrying or somerhing and to Patricks back I said " This is the real world Patrick" and of coirse walked off so the ignorant muscle head could do little in his haze.

becuz i was using dope when he was in diapers and grew up with my uncle Tommy nodding. WHO IN THE FUCK DO THESE ARROGANT PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE ESPECIALLY THE MEN??!?!

I dint get to pay the cop back or the gods or forces dint see fit for me to see it, but I could ruin a few lives in Boston with information. ESPECIALLY THE COPS AND THEIR SCUM CABBIES WHO KISS THEIR ASSES TO EXIST.

it doesnt get anymore real life than MK Ultra and witness intimidation.

Did u ever think that perhaps YOU are the ones that dont have as much information as people like me instead of other way round ? Black projects tend to work that way.


CALI Now Off Limits

Theres too much gang stalking in CA. And alot of smug attitude from the people involved. I do believe for a few reasons, CA is now totally off limits unless I am with a very loyal crew who fully understamd and accept my situation and will be patient with me and protect me. Cali is extremely NWO.

The remote inflience here is very much about 'snapping out of it' (using imagination, having mental and other kinds of privacy and leaving the world of internal programming completely.)

This visit has proven to me that I cannot live life as a normal person would, expecting to go somewhere undisturbed.

The very idea that gang stalking is now being used as a punishment to condition me to not write or post in my blog is totally unacceptable.

That is essentially what occurred today.

Cali is off limits as of now. MA is as well. Maine also. NH and NYC seem to have places I can deal with or operate in ways in which I can function there.

Other places are also somewhat hospitable. Its interesting that the blue states are the ones that make it impossible for me to function. Red states can be obnoxious, even the most abusive yet that makes fighting an overt matter. Not some sneaky weakling kind of gang stalking program. All I got today was a constant subtle psych out. California sucks, in too many ways to deal with. Besides its an earthquake waiting to happen anyway and I cant stop noticing that everytime I come here. The land itself just looks rough and inhospitable. With their deceptive idyllic sunsets and pretty designed neighborhoods. Give me a SOLID, wholesome, strong piece of land in New England covered with snow. THATS beauty. Not this absolute bullshit.

Its too big, theres too much military, too much Silicon Valley, too much corporate culture and too many gangs willing to do the bidding of certain scumbag state actors.


Never again with Cali.

Also keeping me out of here is on purpose becuz I could probably get alot of help here.


Alot of the tactics nowadays consist of not nastiness but using what seems like normal polite behavior. Frequent and overly, unusually friendly "How you doin'" usually in ghetto areas or predominently Latino and or poor African American has been used for the last few years. Along with people either driving by or riding bikes by the Target, staring into the TIs face even if they are wearing sunglasses, and more than normal stares,looks focus and attention from passing motorists. Women going by lookjng deeply into the TIs face and smiling is also being used.

The results ars the same as using nastiness: we know where u r, u r being watched, u r bejng stalked and followed in the area and we r going to make u feel singled out and singled out.

now crazies are showing up whom, after i insult tjem or mess up thier schtick they seem to all of a sudden know my adult entertainment industry past and start spewing that as a insult. All psy ops bs...
might start to act out in public today. ever since i published that blog post i have felt and experienced gang stalking activity. lots of african americans as usual in coastal cities and major urban areas as well as yer typical too clean cut looking young males, the basic too obviously trying to looj incognito types always with the most annoying predictable dark glasses,and of course all acting weird, stalking and paying far too much attention to a Target namely me.

trust me been stalked long enough to know when this bullshit starts up again.

also CA is notorious for the ever present "What are your plans, where are you going tp go next, how long will you stay in the area, where are you staying". Its a joke becuz the Mexican who worked at the warehouse I got dropped off by a trucker even tried to ask those things.

CA is very bad still for this interrigation where as other states just dont bother anymore. More greed probably and highet cost living, gangs etc most likely.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Creepy Male Calling My Phone

413 813 7584. calle me up, asks if i recognize his voice. then when i say no repeatedly, he claims he is calling the numbers in the phone to see who it belongs to.

i checked it, its a landline, unlisted.

which means even the piss poor excuse for calling at the end of conversation doesnt even check out.

might be some idiot from my traveling life who got my number...or it might be more intense veiled threats concerning this blog and obviously its subject matter.

i highly suggest you lose my number real fast....for obvious reasons. and if they arent obvious to you...just read through the blog about what happens to people who interfere.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Notice This Town Chose To Sent Out Perps NOT Legit Law Enforcement

Oh and I notice that the police never showed up, to question and check out the transient vagrant. Becuz then I wud be legit with my explaination of being genuinely stranded from a pervert, a bad truck ride.

So they send perps instead? How does that change my situation? Its not goimg to drive me out of town any faster. It changes nothing...what it DOES do is grt me agitsted and pissed off so i can be recorded acting crazy walking throigh town instead of perhaps the cops actually assisting me and later perhaps recalling my visit here as normal an my reason for being here legit.

Phone InterferenceInt

Also give it up with messing with the phone. It just adds to the stress of the other gangstalking activity which of course gets me pissed off eventually which is what they want.

this isnt just bad reception...believe me.And its been going on since Wyoming....godamn are they miserable bastards in Wyoming. Sooooo heavy on the tech. It was awful. Very Republican The entire time I was there just sitting in a vehicle waiting for my ride to rest and leave, it was all aboit getting mind f*cked about not having a job-not working. What kind of neo-con fascist Republican flag f*cker bullshit is THIS?
Who do these people think they are? I have sacrificed basically my whole life for this cause..thats harder work than they would ever be willing to do. I like Wyoming but as far as being a gang stalking state its one of the worst and its predominently the heavy use of tech.

Grantsville Utah..Nice Little Town Until The Perps Showed Up

Utah can blow me, once again. Romney territory.
Mormon territory.

was ok until stayed in Grantsville after dark (what is this a 'sundown town?' I am not a threat yet to a malecentric culture such as this...yeah, Im a threat.)

Got gang stalked from Quirk Street and East Maine Street east to SR 112 and SR 138. Old tactics like parking ahead of TI and leaving lights on then when TI approaches, drving off making sure this can be seen and the psychological effect is that Targrt feels survailled once again and it intimates being shunned or generally unwelcome in the community.

These are old tactics circa, Bush era gs.

So, I proceeded to respond by telling the entire community while walking to my destination, that they can blow me, they arent as smart as a poor oppressed person from Boston, that they are nothing more than a mob. oh, and that they have destroyed the country.

i also mentionrd that a certain Republican presidential hopeful who was govenor during my gs going 24/7 can suck my. .... and that Bush simply cant be assasinated because something that vile wont die.

so..if any of these geniuses have footage or whatever of me being unstable or freaking out, once again i have documented the harassment in that location that triggered my being understandably annoyed and doing something in self defense. a woman alone gets mobbed for years anx worse...Whistleblower Syndrome, how is she supposed to behave? I am just lucky I am not dead.

It was beautiful how one could feel their fear from right inside their homes as I passed by. This increased considerably when i verbalized the idea of getting together a large group of travelers to travel around the USA and terrorize communities like this.

All of these communities are guilty, by thier very compliance with the events of the last ten years. They deserve it...and worse.
Like we cant mob n return?

After a constant tirade the f*cktards stopped showing up and acting stupid. Good tjey are finally learning ITS NOT LIKE DURING BUSH ANYMORE. GO TO HELL.

Geez get this throigh yor thick skulls: peole arent stupid anymore. Gang stalking is all over the internet now and its often believed. The public finally realizes they've been shafted...and they understand that psychological warfare is an intrical part of that.

America sucks now anyway but there are some hold outs left they cant beat down totally amd this very young generation like 20 or so amd under seem very hip to this nonsense.

So J think I made my point tonight. It doesnt matter if I wasted my energy...that is what gamg stalking does. Its unavoidable but at least its documented...so there isnt just video of me acting unstable..As usual like evdry other time I was provoked.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

yeah theres definately something wrong. the lower right abdomen that had sharp pains before i started bleeding rectally last month hurts now most of the time. it burns and feels sore like something is torn or wrong.

my midsection hurts daily for no reason and my liver hurts as if it is connected to it all. even lower in my intestines like upwards from where i sit, inside it hurts and it feels like something is wrong.

i am unusually tired daily as well.

its not surprising, there is little difference in the way a Target dies eventially, as long as they die.

this is probably why i was urged to get out of the boston area since winter. Something happened there. not onluly did my healrh take a terrible turn for the worst but my strength and spirit are gone. my imagination. ive been made as mild as a lamb from years of being gang stalked but there is this urge to die along with it. not in pain like from the years they were trying to get me to suicide but just to peacefully glide that way. my strength is so sapped from whatever this is.

i am in the right place. i will try to put together what i can before i get really sick. that is my main goal anyway...not that the general public will change thier views. also the public seemed well aware of what was being done to me to get this end result.

but believe that they will sit back in comfort and selfishly enjoy the story. becus thwt is the wway they are. terrible.

only those who dont want to live enslaved are going to care about the NWO. and the mechanocs of it.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Growing Cancer Rates In USA Due To Fukushima/Sooo InconvenientC

Ever since the Fukushima fall out i have felt tired. There was one week where I couldnt stay awake or out of laying down for long. that was right after the fallout when US was warned of a cloud coming over.

I am really afraid lately that something may have developed in me. My midsection often hurts in a way i am not familiar with and that incident recently of rectal bleeding. I can feel the change in my health. I am unusually tired all the time. And that lack of life, the lingering depression feeling, it also feels like its part of all this.

It has crossed my mid that I would end up with cancer, becuz alot of people who are activists do. And many Targeted Individuals do surely. It seems like a covert ops favorite that and airplane accidents. Like all those witnesses in the Kennedy assasination. Odd, really..and a bit obvious.
I now understand why I was being directed to go to northeast Canada, in tue middle of nowhere. It was probably to avoid radiation exposure etc. And here I am now traveling right into it, like a fool.

I am not afraid of dying that way, in big picture its part of my 'job' if you will to disregard such things, as long as the information is delivered.
yet they may just be doing their jobs..and they know well how to string along someone like me to their own deaths from ill health.

There is no way I want chemo or any of that crap ever. Ive seen it its ridiculous. And I really screwed myself with aquiring that allergic reaction condition now becuz I cant just take anything I want like herbs as before, which I think were laregely responsible for keeping me healthy.

Perps make fun of my saying "Oh well" when it comes to the more severe things that go on pertaining to programming and being born into this predicament. Thats probably some Alter in there who's job it is to disregard life so that performance can be attained under any cirumstances. Making fun of it is probably part of forced deprogramming or any part of the campaign to weaken me.

You cant exactly scare someone with death who had alters that ARE death lol. Its pretty amusing to me but this is part of their psychological warfare.

It might also be to get me to disregard dangers to help ruin my health moreso, that and hospitals being downright rotten to me actually worked.

Well at least if thats the case I'll finally be thin again. Ha!


Thursday, September 8, 2011

nahh, the driber dorsnt seem to be thinking like that. but i do wonder about the garage and his dispatch.

Its Still Confusing As To Who Is Friend Or Foe

This is why its so hard to know who to trust or not. Why San Fran? Who do I know there? There was a lot of satanic pull at that time in thst area but I have to consider many factions. Just prior to 2003 many members, key members broke away from the Temple Of Set, like LaVeys daughter. I am never sure if infighting could have caused some sort of weird circumstances....its short sighted to consider that all satanic factions are always working together...more so there is much potential to decieve each other. You've got satanic factions in Scandinavia involved in this. Odinists with Nazi sympathies. You've got Aquino with Nazi occult leanings but the main thing is his connection to the military,MINDWAR and many Survivors of programming claiming he was involved in their programming.

Then you have LaVey who lied well, was a good con man and supposedly wasn't the idiot he seemed to be...supposedly. That spell on his book is active and has some condensed plowed to it..and if I ever confirm that I am the Yankee Rose- a good looking woman from Boston who seems to be central to a sacrifice and many people in on this....I will go down to Hell and kick his ass.
LaVey also had a lot of Jewish Hollywood connections due to he being a Jew by birth of Eastern European descent.

Then there is his daughter and her husband with whatever they are now involved in, Nazi pre occupations like Eugenics etc and backing the Elite.

For all I know there are some Satanic factions trying to just wipe me off the face of the earth and perhaps some others, for whatever their reasons don't quite agree with that. Perhaps its simply to counter the other party or perhaps to protect some ongoing project that is of value to a state actor, individual or private corporation.

Perhaps its also ideological- some factions may be satanic but they wont agree with Jews destroying me or gaining anymore power or they are part of this faction here in US that doesn't think I should "be bein' chased around the country by a bunch of N*ggers" which I couldn't agree with more.

Then there's organized crime where my family has connections but then again so do my old associates thst want to shut me up. Then there's the feds, the FBI, and other state actors.

I simply cannot tell who is who in this particular game, so I don't know who is safe to go after as an enemy. Which of course might be the whole point of setting things up like this, so I am so overcautious that I simply don't take action at all.

Having Hard Time On This Ride...and I Dont Trust It

The truck ride I am with is a set up possibly or at least the situation we are in is. In 23 years this man hasn't run out of gas? It just so happens to be when I am in truck on rainy night on hiway? And I notice thst earlier driver stated "we r never gonna make it" with 1/4 to 1/5 tank left but later said we would and that was before rest stop for eleven hours. Its interesting that the company paid for a gad stop for their refrigeration unit carrying the product to deliver but left the drivers cab low on gas....so when he runs out of gas for the first time in twenty three years, the company wont lose their product, only time delivering it.

I am not feeding into any aggregation the driver has becuz I have to consider its to drain me and also make me feel very guilty. With a few of these rides there have been all these dramatic problems thst just HAPPEN to come up when I or I and a road dog are with a truck. And the last road dog I had from Rainbow, I overheard him tell the driver he was escorting me across country as a favor to someone I wont say, close to a certain infamous hippie family..that also deals in a lot of drugs. So he wasn't genuine either.

Now we are waiting far too long for this fuel to arrive, and garage keeps handing driver some bullshit about finishing up a tire. The driver of course gets aggregated only with me around after he hangs up with garage....he could or couldn't be in on it but I certainly suspect the people dispatching jobs and fuel stops etc.

The independent rides I get are usually drama free. I got this out of MA. Its more likely its his dispatch but I never know.

The point is to depress me, to keep me down with guilt, being drained and as many obstacles and diversions as possible every day of my life. Its a deterrant in a way, against traveling as well as being willful. This system has made it clear many times it wants me either in UMass studying something and forgetting what happened (and becoming very physically ill I guess becuz that's what was happening in MA which is one of the main factors in leaving) OR they want me dead, suicided. Or, at least to not be so mobile.

We stayed in one parking spot in thst truck stop for eleven hours. By the last few hours I was being targeted as if I was stationary in a city again, living there. The moment he pulled out of that spot I no longer experienced receiving any sort of brainwashing or hypnotic/subconshus suggestion.

This is the constant POSSIBLE scenerios I have to live with, becuz people are getting rewarded and or paid to drop the ball or not do their jobs.

I have seen thst when I road Greyhound I would be routed all over the place, super long way. When Tom Cochran, and old money type person related to the Cabots and friend of some of my old associates I later remembered, magically that ticket was routed the most direct, quick layout back to his place where I was staying thst I had ever seen in my life. Same with Lou Gheppetti at Walgreens Brookline- they would kiss his butt and be all syrupy to him when he went to the pharmacy but for years they were always mean to me and after Jake playing that little game of being suspect of me trying to rob the pharmacy of drugs.
BTW, thst is the pharmacy where I used to get my sedatives, the ones thst had something weird in them when I was suing Olnick and starting to remember things from my childhood, the pills that the San Francisco hospital eventually gave me a break and magically came up with a new bottle upon my leaving, after saying they never carried that drug there. Upon my leaving, they STRONGLY suggested that I take the new pills not the ones from Brookline Coolidge Corner Walgreens.

Human Value In Bush's America: Another Cover Story

now i am getting this annoying idea thst when it came to sorting people out during Bush that everyome who got treated well was of more value than I. that its simply a matter of "human value in Bush's America" (The Compassionate Comservative). yet again ANOTHER cover story or theory. And people want to believe this too, like its that simple. It makes it easier to write me off I suppose.

Again we are dealijg with people, if not a nation, under mind control. My cousin and Jake or anyone else around me did not have the memories and text book case of typical circumstances of someone who was programmed with what is known as high level programming. My testimony, my very existence would have not only added yet another Survivor to the ranks but it would have gone against that ridiculous claim that all Survivors got these memories implanted by therapists. The Recovered Memory Syndrome bs.

It was very clever, how they pulled off continuing the experimentation by letting a few people come forward, harassing others into not showing up to the President's Advisory Committee in 1995, then having Clinton apologize and seal the matter shut with the double-talk(double meaning) statement, thst never again would their be another MK Ultra trial or case again. The naive public taking this to mean that the problem was solved with a happy ending and yet, in reality the more sinister meaning was that never again would they deal with the subject matter publically, officially or legally, which means just the opposite.

Interestingly the public never put together the Ritual Abuse cases coming out at the same time as the MK Ultra/radiation survivors of human experimentation as all part of the same covert systen of programming and related activity.

Both link to the military and other state actors which

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Dont Listen To My Family/The Nazi Beliefs Live OnL

Nobody should be listening to my family by the way. first of all thy never took the time time to know me as a person so they hwve no right to speak on my behalf and about me either. Also people like my mother, her brother and his wife even my grandmotherall have a vested interest in making sure i am silenced and discredited or at least ignored, while my aunt their other sibling was always pretty much handled and lived in denial- probably out of sheer fear. when you are dealing with a family this viscous the members of such a family either have to become handled victims to survive or predators themselves i have discovered. the main reason they cant be trusted is becuz they never got honestwith themselves about their father and their mothet as well. they kept staying there and acting like norhing was wrong. this isnt the female's fault at least becuz i have seen that they have been gang stalked for life and i know from experience that one of the main purposes for that is to ensure that the women DONT leave the fold. my mother had no choice but to stay. you have no idea how bad constant gang stalking is. And my mother for some reason was kept much more under control than i was. also there was no internet back then, no other TIs to give advice or experience. Like i said before Bush in a way was a good thing becuz he made all of this obvious, what is really going on here. before that we all kind of lived with these realities throigh denial and coping mechanisms. Our lives were never openly under attack so our existence was never questioned. Some people worked at buying themselves that continued denial and comfort. The price was selling out people like me.

This is why i never faulter or feel too badly about any of this. I know who I am and I know I was wise and with help made the right decisions. When I die I have nothing but pride, good and justice..as well as healthy self respect to take wirh me. Becuz I wasnt a wimp who cowered at the monster. I lived it, I faced it and I am not afraid to fight what I know instinctively to be wrong.

This idea that i am a mental defective, mentally ill or a lost cause or damaged is all bulshit. yeah if you induce brain damage and gas light someone enough you will get what APPEARS to be defective. what the people involved are covering up is my true genetic defect which is from my mothers radiation exposure. THAT is what they truly dont want reproduced...which by logic makes my mother also damaged and defective becuz the dna strands become damaged from exposure.

my mother has always had a very frightening satanic nature or, even Nazi in nature. she would refer to defective people like the homeless or the handicapped and actually question why should they live if they cant function in our society and they are suffering.

Very dangerous...then again she may just be playing predator like her parents and tryng to freak me out when she got me alone, which i notice she got worse doing that while living at her parent's house.

One also has to consider that my mother is the original experimentee from the 50s connected to MK Ultra which is rooted in Project Papwrclip
Who knows what was done to her by whom to imprint such Nazi like ideas into her make up.

i had the benefit of growing up with a multiple, though you cant see it and she will never admit it. i saw the child and the woman and the real person in there. Like everyone else in this system she fouvht for many years to stay out of their control and keep her spirit alive.

the only difference between us is that when one "gets tired of fighting" as she put it, her idea is to try to live as securely as possible for as long as possible. My idea of living is, if you get tired of fighting- you put a gun in yoir mouth and or get doped up and make sure the pyre out in the desert is self lighting or an old car or something....so that not only do the cocksuckers not get your mind they also never get a body. fuck them..there is no giving up. no submission that is acceptable.

I had to leave MA becuz the entire health issue of being so damaged i could no longer have sex was being put as some sort of religious thing- the slant put on this by the system up there was that i was having a spiritual transformation and i was akin to the Catholic mother Mary. It was being pushed on me as par the course with this sick idea i was transorming into a great religious martyr.

How much more cult type mind control can you get? that is so like what cults do. Id rather be tortured outright than bullshitted like an idiot.

so these people all want to hide the family history especially those people i mentioned are very keen on my cousin the now PhD making the family look good as a whitewash and i have to be destroyed and be written off as crazy like my father for that to happen.

its gone beyond local bs and vendettas and cover ups. Look at it this way: my family are helping this neo Nazi covert faction create the NWO. It should be obvious by now that there are ALOT of Nazi sympathizers involved or people who had contact with them back in the day: the Pope- Nazi youth, the Bush family and the British Royals all with documented Nazi sympathies. The Temple Of Set which Aquino was high priest of, he was very into Nazi occultism and that mixed with Satanism with the fact he was a PSY OPS OFFICER IN THE ARMY AND WROTE MIND WAR comceptualizing the uze of cell towers to carry microwave mass mind control....this isnt the theory of a disordered mind. The Nazi dream of an orderly utopian society never went away and where there is mind control and programming, there are sleepers and agents of thst agenda.

Nazis were not these cartoonish charicatures represented in movies etc, unfortunately they were real people. The best cover sinister people ever have is to sensationalize them so that no one believes such fantastic creatures could exist.

The people living in that time frame may no longer exist but their findings, theories philosophies and beliefs live on. Thanks to the CIA and military particularly due to Project Paperclip.
what i mean could indeed be what people say, like Zionists are behind this like Rockafella. Its not important for me to know that much..clearly something is happening however. Its systematic and it has a pattern. If the public refuse or cant resist then the world isnt worth existing in after all i have seen anyway.

oh and dont even try to off me and make it lok like suicide. believe you, me, that expose will be manifested into existence before i go anywhere. Dont get anymore bright ideas about offing me. I will go when its time.

damage done from years of physically running ragged under duress

vyOne of the saddest things that has happened due to being targeted for so long othet than losing my right pinkie, which has affected my ability to write and draw, is damage done to my health in othet ways. I can no longer have sex..its been this way for a while . in the beginnig the torture was so bad that i was unable to have a normal sex life with running around the country etc, perps were always on my ass in groups and really laying the pressure on. by rhe time i had relations again since dating scott ended in summer 2006 was at a hippie gathering in 2009 or so. by then i had been celebate for so long it had done untold damage to my health, my immune system and my psychological state.

i then met someone and tried to have a normal sexual relationship and kept getting urinary tract infections. this started me on many courses of antibiotics ending of course with Bactrim in AZ 2009 Dec and thats when i experienced a severe allergic reaction requiring emergency care. i tried to have sexual relations again later but it always ends up with a UTI which due to my allergic condition now, i have to use only cranberry juice and it takes a few days and is very painful. i stopped havng sex but notice that i have to urinate often. it seems that carrying that heavy backpack across country for so long under that kind of pressure and physical stress with pre existing health conditions has done permanent d iamage. it pushes on my organs and its done something to ky bladder. this is the cause of it for the most part it seems. also due to not being able to take herbal hormone balance snd being unable to be sexually active in a natural manner as an outlet my endoletriosis has become a problem agsin. its just as painful as it was in my 30s. a few weeks ago my bleeding from my rectum seems related to this.. i didnt want to realize that this system was trying to damage me as much as possible in any way it could as opposed to the bush era of outright coming after me.

this is why Boston was so dangerous. the fact that a Harvard affiliated hospital like Mt Auburn would deny documenting my allergic reaction to a spider bite as well as bebedryl overdose with that doctor assistant being outright abusive ("maybe its reflux" remember that?) tells me that area has no problem trying to assist in ruining my health with no documentation ledt behind as proof of what is going on. i was targeted so hard i jusg lost fifteen minutes of work due to stupid phome buttons. not everyone has thin fingets.

basically i was writing i also lost alot of sensatin in my clitoris due to a weird skin thing i caught in san diego cali. and i caught it from a sheltet not a person. i will get into how unhealthy socal is when i edit this post later.

it was like a poison ivy or oak and i only treated it after i got vaginitis in june this year due to fear of being harassd by medicsl persons but also allerfic reactions to antibiotics.

if my healtj is going to fall aprt soon i want everyine to know what happened.

i couldnt for so long tell from being targeted for so long as well as not wanting my enemies to get satisfaction which it kills me to know they will ne getting from this. but i know thwt not everyone is an evil greedy jealous piece of shit and some people will want me to get justice..snd revenge.

some of the stupid god freaks will try to say its god's justice or some other nonsense but that isnt true...this has all been the work of humans believe me. and i didnt deserve this either. its about money and me recalling things no one wants revieled.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

UPS Perps

UPS drivers in MA can bite me. Them and Fed X some of the most obnoxious drive by perps during Bush.

must suck to JUST be a local lowly company driver and of course when the corrupt system gives you some woman to pick on it makes you feel like a somebody. especially as it involves poweful men and cops etc.

but strangely, you are still nobodies..you behave and carry yourselves as such. and if you are indeed more than that..as in covert ops hailing from some state actor or on the payroll of some private black ops company..then you are even moeso. and the obvious insecurity and cowardice this causes shows itself clearly in your demeanor and behavior. besides..in the end you are just lower than sex worker 'whores'...becuz you destroy innocent people for mere money or favors or opportunities. all from your pathetic little brown trucks.

the question is why are there so many perps from corporate entities like greyhound, ups, fed ex etc? at least they dont think they can get away with screaming at me from their trucks anymore these days..wish i had a camera back then.

will the military industrial comlex of MA ever know its place? who will stop these beasts? they are totally out of control, them and academia in metro Boston.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Boston Is Far To Dangerous A City In The NWO

After a whole 12 months of the subtle yet constant and effective system in eastern MA hammering at me all that time, this system does not want that level of control over me and that amount of breaking down my spirit to be undone.

There was something very evil in Boston trying to keep me there, I noted this today. Boston is one of the top cities in whatever is going on. It was especially so during Bush. It felt extremely 'evil' if you will.

Its no longer an area I can exist in. I have some stuff stored there and other than that I can never go back there again.

Boston and Cambridge will never be what they once were when the world was normal, before this system was fully set up and put into play.
I'm on a train. This awful lesbian looking woman had to sit right where my legs were stretched out and she has a very domineering, bad vibe. She's into her stupid cell phone Tetris but her energy sucking tells me what kind of person she really is. The vibe was so nice with this nice lesbian girl, who was taking a few block seats also with her bike. I am charging her MP 3 for her and we were chatting. So peaceful so sisterly.

Then bitch had to show up "can I sit here" shudder have said no.

She is very conshus of me very into how she interferred and pissed me off. I feel her feeding off that.

In fact I feel a very uncomfortable unwelcome slight sexual arousal and its being used I feel to bring me under control.

Believe it or not the gs system seems to have psychics who are capable of this.

Low level sexual arousal is always present in the Boston area every time I return I take note of it. I also start having problems with my endometriosis again which means something is present in this location that actually is pumping out estrogen into the environment or its causing females to produce more.

The horniness if you will that is experienced by me in this area seems to be what causes me to overeat and gain weight. It also works to keep me controlled and its what causes a lot of instability and freak outs due to it being used in unison with gang stalking and its various methods.

This woman might just be a random selfish bitch who needs people to suck off of but then again the gang stalking system has people like this pulling these kinds of things frequently.

The point is to get the Target under control. Through various means. To control the person every waking moment of their lives once targeted 24-7 by this system.

She's smirking now I am saying good bye to that other girl. Yeah good chances she's a pro- a gang stalker.

See I bought ticket at 2:30 so I knew the system would have time to get something going with people on train to piss me off.

I guess I