“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Sunday, May 29, 2011

I think its fine that I do activism and blogging and running around the country as long as I never find out what really happened and can never hold anyone legally or financially responsible....I believe the system wants to keep it this way.

Creep Out At MIT

What's up with the African kid who claims to be deaf and can only say "bweh, bweh,bweh" in gutteral tones, who is creeping around the MIT student center? He only wants to use the computer on the third floor next to me (which thankfully the screen isnt working) and when I tell him there's one downstairs he leaves, comes back and tries to get next to me and gives me some note on paper that says something about Africa. Then when I tell him again to go downstairs he grabs my arm and lifts up my arm and points at my armpit hair and makes noises and an excited face.

This is the typical freak out that I get being a TI. Ive been approached by weirdos and crazies for years and I am always the focus. I just dont trust it seeing as I have been targeted for years now.

I have experienced things like having blind men asking me to help them across the street and then they kiss me halfway across, and I look around and sure enough, there's certain people watching that are smirking and being entertained. That was during Bush. Rude people, harassing bus drivers, crazies and creeps are nothing new to Targeted Survivors of mind control projects.
There's this feeling I get often that what happened to me is no big deal, that its over. This is false of course and has been reinforced by perps actions and comments.

Its horrible though and its certainly a way of getting a TI to give up their fight for justice.

I also have another theory about what methods are used in this area for mind control of the masses as well as TIs. I notice that when I shower and wash three times a day is when I seem to keep most healthy and alert and happy. And in San Diego when I got lice, I used that gentle soap to coat my hair dry, then blow dry it to kill the lice. I noticed that during when the soap was coating my hair, before I dried it, it gave this cleaning effect, becuz there was so much of it in.my hair- I noticed my mood improve and my memory as well. Great improvements.

I would say that indicates that air pollution is causing alot of human's depression and other problems.

I never included chem trails before but I've read that testing has been done to prove there are chemicals being sprayed to influence and drug human beings.

Its a many point system that's being used to control humanity, to enslave mankind.
Yesterday was pretty bad. I don't know what is going on right now that's different from years ago but I can't even be in this state anymore. Of course today I woke up to relief, its Sunday, right?

The system of harassment that utilizes tech seems like its out to really drive me insane, get me to suicide or just grind me down completely. Its become impossible to tolerate here. It reminds me of St Louis during Bush, how bad the torture was there.

I can't get the healthcare I need, no dentist, doctors nothing. Im hit to hard every day. Also they mess with me at the hospitals so I don't even want to go in there.

One day I want to win over MA and make them pay for destroying my life, ruining my chances at a bright future, but I obviously can't do that from within and I certainly can't use my insurance here that's issued by this state.

I wonder if they are using tech and harassment to get rid of anyone who uses their insurance cleverly to get the best healthcare for multiple issues and cost the state alot of money?
Also I would use it eventually to find a doc to prove my case against multiple people who have caused my health to deteriorate, they prob know that so they don't want me doing that here.

If Romney gets in I would have to leave anyway. He'll probably finish off his favors to rich criminals and Bush by continuing to have the system destroy me.

Its obvious I can't be in my own state ever again, which is yet another part of their cruel treatment.

Sometimes I think its still an FBI matter,like they are pissed I didn't walk in and tell what little I knew. Its as if they might be obsessed with people confessing to them- not for the purpose of gathering any real information but just to have people give in to their power.
As part of the NWO, like an initiation.

I can't do that. Becuz I know in my case its related to MK Ultra and proving you can break down programmed people and make them do what u want.

The FBI shouldn't be using psychological warfare methods like this. Also that MILAB out in the southwest on that Greyhound bus isn't exactly interrogation method. So how does that factor in?

I've been abused to much to bow to any authority. I've experienced nothing but abuse of power, gross abuse, for years now.

Giving in to authority that can't be trusted is not a good idea.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Spinger Has A Posse?

Bizarre psychic impression today. Walking down sidewalk somewhere in city. Had very weird impression that J. Springer has a posse of sorts that f*cks with people who mess with him or his image. That they were going to target me driving by, or begin a campaign and when they saw how I carried myself, they decided to forget it.

Id like to believe this is just some pay back for that post about those kinds of talk shows per being targeted. I sincerely hope that those show hosts don't have their own perps. But then again, he uses actors, and that is what gs is all about.

It was written he uses actors and after sitting in front of an epsisode a few.days ago, I can tell this is probably true, from some.of the looks the actors had that broke character.
Yeah im starting.to lose it here in Boston. I already made a rule that Cambridge is now off limits forever or until the day the gs stops and the tech is turned.off. I have to map out areas that are safe to be in. Inside the city limits are not safe. I may have to do a few errands there but after that its never again. I don't want to go into Kenmore, Fenway or past Cambridge west ever again either. Those areas are extremely unsafe now due to old memories, tech and still present gang stalking activity. I have to think of those areas as a cemetary. Treat the whole section of map just like that.

I've got to devise a way to function and gain access to things I need without crossing into heavy enemy territory ever again.

Sat and talked to this old black guy who looks a bit Native. A truly beautiful person left over from the old days, like the 70s. He's a bit gone mentally but he's the street guy that warned me about that gang that was trying to drug me and do sick shit to me. I found out later who it was locally that was into that. Someone also told me that not only do they run pot out if Hi Hostel Boston but suggested prostitution also! That I am skeptical of but it would explain why the managers are such jerks and why they helped this system totally destroy my life and my health, as well as my sanity.

He brought me back out of the hate and bitterness that's eating my insides lately,that I have become.

I felt grounded. I had just left the Army Navy store where some young typical Boston blacks were being obnoxious and showing off in the store, in a group with a kid in tow of course. They all expect a white woman to be intimidated here. That has never changed all my life. After being down south and the south west I learned you just treat em like they're actin', and laugh at them. Treat em like a separate species and don't engage. That sends em off in the other direction real quick. Boston is the only city I have ever experienced this bs in. San Diego maybe was almost as annoying, with men staring or not minding their business but even there, there wasn't this expectation of being handed power, fear and coddling. There is no way that's getting by with me and with the way I have handled this situation many blacks, mostly young males, have learned that THEY are the punks, not this white woman who's targeted. I think our PC society didn't prepare them for the realities of Indo European nature or older women. They are raised in such an insular, unworldly environment. It really is a pain in the ass for those of us who live outside the media brainwash in the primitive real world. Nothinng in American culture caters to me or defines me. And now you see the trap they get stuck in. They are going through a phase as a culture now, being fascinated by money, sharing the American dream and defining their power in the social structure and building it to last.
Yet its annoying that African Americans in certain areas believe they invented things like sex, war, violence, showing off or making money or being hip and cool.

Its obvious that blacks in Boston will always piss me off as a poor white woman. They are desperate for some scape goat that's white and always in this city I have been treated that way by them. The black community in Boston was part of some serious war crimes and human/civil rights abuses during Bush. And one day they will have to pay for being such good little house slaves.

They are some of the most arrogant blacks in the USA. No other city has African Americans as cruel, violent or as arrogant except NY or SoCal. I mean political violence. They are after all working with the cops, the mob and the power structure here, which is one of the worst and most abusive in the country. Becuz its all hidden under the colleges and the hospitals. They know they have their asses covered.
My agitation with the jokers around here will cease once I leave MA. Happens that way every time.
This nice older man, its no surprise he's a street person here, he's probably targeted for not being an asshole.

And he mentions math and physics concepts sometimes in his rambling. So many potentially brilliant people get targeted to keep them down and they get driven nuts by gs. Even easier than normal people becuz their minds are so open, so fluid.

This system KNOWS who the smart ones are who are a threat and it destroys talented smart people as well as people with beautiful inner spirits. Look at what's been done to me. I am being turned very evil and told my only ultimatum is to become a Christian. There is something very wrong with that.

I give this guy a few bucks when I can but I just want to collect him and put him in my dream structure or dwelling for the worthy homeless. Not the greedy, lazy, uninteresting shelter rats and bums.
He'd prob want to go out into the street anyway.

The youth shelters have the best set ups and there should be something like this for the homeless and travelers who are willing to work on a place of our own. Not constantly beaten down by the system so all homeless people have to submit to the non profit robber barons, which is what they resemble at this point with how many human rights violatins they get away with. Being homeless in the USA gives new meaning to working and being owned by the company store. In fact, many Americans are in that predicament right now and are too removed from history to understand that...yeah. the homeless probably have more freedom right now. Like to say no to partaking in gs for profit and favors.

USA End Game

The BTD was just here. Arrogant fucks as usual. They helped terrorize me during Bush.

I hate America. I am leaving and I will certainly never return to MA. Getting my address and everything out of here.

I will get this country for destroying my life while working so hard to get that c*ck sucker Obama info office. F*ck Obama and that horrible wife of his. She's such an evil racist bitch who's still pissed she was ugly in college. Oh she must have loved to watch a good looking white woman destroyed.

I hate the Obamas and no longer want to acknowledge him as president. Ironically I and a few other people actually know that in reality he as well as.Bush should never have been elected anyway. If you want a black president elect someone from American African heritage not some African who's part Jew as well. I am totally done with America.

They hate me....thousands of people nationwide hate me and have helped try to destroy me.

Near BU they still give me attitude. Yer gonna pay for supporting that cleptomaniac French slag Jeannette Angelo just becuz she was a BU professor and Julie's best friend. FU B.U. and the neo con scum that was on the board during Bush. And all the asshole BU kids who helped destroy me. You will be exposed for the scum u r. Money doesn't always work for protection. The truth can be very damaging.

Kenmore Sq was by far, and Fenway the worst area for being tortured.

Just called Verizon for some tech issue. Its sick, when they hear my name whoever is on the line immediately acts like they know me. Their tone changes...'oh its just Rachael' type attitude. Don't think I forgot my land lines being messed with at 335 Washington Brighton during Bush. And hearing the staff in the backround laughing at me a few times. I only have this phone out of necessity.
And don't think I don't grasp the full involvement of Verizon. Owning all the cell towers? Thats a pretty interesting position to be in when mass mind contro and the targeting of specific individuals is being pumped out through said towers, at the veneer of the US Military, and such a concept was originally formulated by Satanist Michael Aquino in the Mind War paper.

F*ck you as well Verizon. Yer arrogant as hell and always have been. Bite me. You will also pay for your involvement in destroying my figure, my future, my talent and intelligence and every other TI as well.

One day, they are all gonna pay for what they have done not only to me but to countless other victims.

I hope the USA is happy with the complete idiots left here after everyone first talented, then educated, then the rich and now the smart and dirt poor are even.fleeing.

An intelligent person can only take so much. The newspapers every day are.such blatant lies...its impossible to withstand anymore.

U got yer wish assholes. I will leave this piece of shit and then.of course that means that I wont be able to get a lawyer. But I can't do that anyway as it is now here. So leaving makes no difference.

But I will rally against America anywhere I can everywhere I can. U deserve to fall for what you have done to innocent people. And I hope this place gets reduced to rubble. Only in select places like southern Ill and other small locations around the US is there any active movement against the destruction of our culture and our country. Most people are too brainwashed to even see.what went on.

Im not staying someplace where people don't respect my status as a mind control survivor or a victim witness to such things as my.mother being intimidated out of going to testify being a radiation experimentee. America hates anyone that can expose its corruption. I can't even get health care now.

I refuse to die as a homeless person in the streets of this country being targeted.
Obviously this system still wants me dead.

Ill go to my ancestral countries where I belong, not this total lie. Instead of focusing on Jewish genocide and black slavery why don't you give the Natives their due. Becuz America is no good, evil and full of shit while hiding behind Abrahamic religons.

Enough of being abused by the scum here, having to live among their houseslaves. Im sick of it.

The only decent people are true independent Americans and the rich who can afford to think and act independently and I am kept from that level of society by the disgusting network of bullies that exists in the US.

I no longer have any use for this country it'd never done anything but abuse and exploit me since I was born.

And someday I will make America pay.
And don't pull any melodramatic terrorist predictions becuz I am smarter than you and yer propaganda. Always have been which is why you destroyed me. And I will work towards destroying you for the rest of my life.

African American Alliance With Jewish Factions Strained



Interesting to consider.

US House Slaves Perhaps Simply Helping Out Their Rich, White Cousins

Here's another theory: modern African Americans have the European DNA from inter racial mixing on the sly down south or becuz stupid slave owners couldn't keep it in their pants and raped black slave women frequently. (So much for the White Supremisist and Seperatist ranting about race mixing. Yer great great grandaddys created this problem to begin with.) What I am saying is that many African Americans will possess the same Imperialistic, arrogant qualities of the English and other cultures that like to conquer frequently like Sweden, as many southern names are anglicanized Nordic surnames.

Ever wonder why blacks from certain regions are infuriating but others are less so? Yes its culture, 'environment'. But shadow ancestry is not only the African American's greatest 'secret weapon' its also our greatest vulnerability. And to be a complete Realist in this time frame we must consider these factors.

It might also be why many blacks easily serve the interests of establishment whites by excluding someone like myself with only Third Waver DNA: they are all related by genetics.

This leaves outsiders very vulnerable to attack on a very primitive level that all involved are unconscious of.
I just walked outside and there's a group of Yo's and Homies standing on the sidewalk all in white T's and some red accessories...ha,ha,ha. SOUTHIE...yeah right. Totally compromised.

Southie Still Thinks Its Badass Like Pre NWO

Stopped to do laundry. Over the years the Irish involved in this have been almost as arrogant and tasteless as the blacks involved. Crass, braggard and mocking. Death, destruction and crime flow easily through this community. I have never been pleased with being targeted by Italians in Waltham or the Irish in Brighton and some involvement in Southie. My great grab ('Nanna' or 'Nannie') is from Cork county. She told her daughter, my Nanna, about shutting the shades on Queen Victoria when she rode through the streets (this is what is done when the dead were driven through the streets ). How much more Irish do you want? Yet, they have consistently supported Julia and Jake and other people involved who are pure Anglo Saxon Protestant and German all the way. That does seem off doesn't it?

Becuz only money matters now. The only reason they can make movies starring the gay for pay Mark Wahlberg in every one and his two untalented buddies is becuz Southie is no longer that place anymore. Think like a criminal: if this place was that crime based anymore why would they risk the security of their enterprises by advertising such things in Hollywood produced garbage? (That never gets the feel of Boston right anyway in anything they have ever produced).

Years ago this place showed all the ugly scars of being gentrified as well as suffering from forced Diversity. Now its the same if not even more lame. The store owners are all foriegn, immigrants from Afro cultures are all over the place and Asiana own the laundries. This place got neutered a LONG time ago, so don't let Hollywood fool you.

The Irish I've encountered being viscous and cruel to me throughout this are punks, end of story. They act it, they look it and they seek power and attention from petty crimes and destroying human beings in a very UNbusiness like manner like typical punks.
Real men, real criminals keep business impersonal. Punks gloat and make it personal. A grave mistake.

Ireland is actively fighting the invaders from other countries who are going to overburden their tiny island....OUR tiny Island if they let them. Southie has allowed upper classes - WASP/Jew (: 0) sponsored gentrification and accepted 'Diversity' forced on them as easy as any punk with his ass in the air, gladly accepting what authority wants to give him.

Whores have more standards than these communities that are allowing this to happen without riots or other unrest. The Italians, being rooted in the ancient classical world around the Mediterranean, knew instinctively to not trust authority and make as much money as possible so that when nonsense like this occurs, they have the clout and money to keep invaders out.

BTW, Diversity isn't working becuz these are invaders who mostly don't want to move to an area and respectfully assimilate, they take over and multiply. And the PC YUPpies who encourage this don't have to live in the areas this is occurring in. WASPs are sneaky and stealth enough to know how to hide while pulling off the same imperialist, arrogant bullshit they always have and Jewish factions that push Diversity in this form on other populations are a people who generally preach, through family and Rabbi, to marry their own kind.

So Southie may have seemed dangerous during Bush or in my case, terrorizing a helpless middle aged female.with no resources but in reality this place is as cowardly, weak and pathetic as any other location that supports the NWO and is willing to sell out their own kind.

They have forgotten the stories, the lessons in fable, from the old country concerning the penalty extracted for burdening a female when she is vulnerable and behaving in an extremely unmanly and unjust fashion towards a female. And you can't destroy the Celts, no system has succeeded and no culture ever will though they keep trying.

And justice will be done as you can move to Mars and still not escape what runs in your blood from your DNA and your ancestors.

Keeping Memories Alive Is Imperitive To Survival

Looking at Jake's old house in maps, where u can take this little guy and walk around an area as if u were there. Its all still photos taken in 2009 according to google, but its life like enough. Its been interesting to look up old squats around the USA I've lived at. Under bridges in San Diego etc. They should make an app in maps for houseless people to star squat spots..lol.

It helps me to remeber that what happened is real. One of the greatest tactics of this system is to do so much brain damage and mind f*cling that a Target will forget their past-everthing from memories to who they reallly are as people.

Memories of their former lives before being isolated into this system as well as all memories of gang stalking.

In order to counter this finding ways to keep memories alive.is imperitive. Revisiting places in safety like via maps or looking at old vid.or pics.

You must remember the truth. G$, especially when done to Survivors of mind control, is specifically to erase memories and create a new false personality or Self. To allow.this to happen is to allow one of the greatest crimes against humanity as this technique is what MK Ultra was designed for.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Time Off From Remote Influence--Holiday Of Course

Today is hot but has been relatively free of insanity inducing remote influence. I was told its a long weekend and its a holiday on Monday so this explains it as usual. Holidays are one of the time frames that many TI's dont get much stalking/harassment or interference from remote influence.

I actually got things done today as well as could think about a plan to fight and gain some victories opposed to being kept in a fog of forgetfulness and diversion.

It seems that the remote influence that keeps TI's really jammed and the masses strapped down to working mode, is lifted when there is some holiday in which they wish people to relax and lay back, probably so they can firstly make money off of the public indulging in these holidays and also the public will really bond to these time frames that are designated to them by this culture as they 'feel' the effects of relaxation, enjoyment and a mode that isnt work mode.

Experiencing this so dramatically since Bush with all thats gone on, I now wonder just how long the public has been psycho civilized like this.
I recall being younger, an evening during Xmas season. I kept getting shocked from elevators etc and this often happened in urban environments during this time of year. I also noted the change in something- in people and in the environment.

I propose that our society has been psycho civilized in a more mild form for years now. The difference seems to be that these new technologies- electromag fields are so disruptive to human beings that people cannot even think anymore on their own. Its THAT intrusive.
Just got woken up by people making noise at the squat. They all immediately went quiet and back to sleep.the second.I spoke. The alarm went.off in the abandoned house next to us.

Earlier an older guy, too straight to belong in the little crowd that hangs around here, shows up, focuses on me, asks questions and.I was too tired to realize it was weird. No one gets all Nosy and focused on one person and asks 'why r u still homeless hun?" like an idiot. I told him no one asks those questions out here.

He then got it out if me about the airport and even which terminals I've stayed in.

And today at the other drop in I told them I was back outside.

So games might be starting based on who's a rat or needs out of trouble card, becuz the house alarm and the going right to sleep was weird and.so was that straight looking guy who also pushed giving me his number which I declined.

I need out of the city limits asap anyway from now on. Whatever is different about me from having.spent.the winter.here is very weak and I simply cannot function in the heavily gs zones any longer. Its just a matter of days now.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Abrahamic Religions: Its Time To Throw Out The Invaders

Get rid of the invaders. Abrahamic religions are not native nor natural to Europeans, Asian, all Native peoples such as Native Americans, Aborigenies nor Africans, Slavic, Scandinavians or any other part of the world outside of a small portion of land in the Middle East where that culture has spawned these three belief systems. A large percentage of the earth's population lives under the rule of belief systems not originating from their own people or homelands.

Why is a small area of the world holding much of the earth's souls and Spirits hostage?
Every one of these religions shares qualities such as being monotheistic and patriarchial. Enough with the Middle Eastern obsessive love of a king.

The strife and war present in this area of the world, mostly between the three Abrahamic religious groups takes up untold amounts of resources, emotional and mental energy and time from the rest of the entire planet that doesn't live there and has no direct concern for what goes on there.

Why should this small area of the world take up the worlds attention with its never ending infighting and dramas?
They will never cease being fanatical and violent in typical Middle Eastern character.

Its time to throw out the invaders once and for all.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I just told On The Rise I was leaving permanently. What Rita did today was the last straw. I've had it. I work so hard on activism and every day I have to be 'tolerant' of idiots like Rita who play games and cause drama becuz they know they can cuz staff is present. Its like nursery school in there every day.

Also I can't deal with the daily focus on race by a core group in there. I cannot believe Boston area is still living like the old days still with this pathetic race obsession. Its partly to blame for my becoming more and more race focused out of self preservation. And who can blame me.

I finally lost my temper upon leaving and my very black lesbian friend who walked out with me was proud that I finally let the truth be told.


That was at 2pm today. In the last hour or so I have been getting impressions that it's made it through the grape vine to my family what has occurred as well as again these ideations being pushed to go back to my grandmothers and stay there and ask for help.

Once again someone is forgetting I am not my mother. My mother swears up and down to not return home but throughout life has seemed to end up there frequently. Which is complete and total insanity.
In Narcotics Anonymous and AA also, I learned that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
That is what going back to Waltham would be an excersise in.

These are people who knew what was going on during Bush but chose to gaslight me and keep me in the dark about the situation, thus helping the enemy destroy my sanity as well as put my life in danger. Are people forgetting the gang stalking system tried to KILL ME? This is not an over exaggeration. They did all kinds of things to me over the years. MILABS ARE NO JOKE AND THEY ARE NOT IMAGINED. Not when your mother is a documented MK Ultra/radiation survivor from the 50s. My maternal family assisted this network by first acknowledging they knew what was going on, then with holding information then worst of all my mother flips the script by one day asking me if the harassment was just delusion and could I have a mild case of what Danny (my father who was most likely targeted and labeled) has. And this woman and her mother practically boasted about knowing the who,what when and where but withheld that info from me.

I will never see those people again. They don't exist. Are we forgetting that my paternal grandmother's name is Cedrone? Or that her husband's name ended in -ski before it was Americanized? Or that my last name originates in Belgium in the 14th century? These are all DNA my maternal family does not posses. Why would my behavior duplicate my mother's, when I am the product of two people with very different DNA not just one? And put aside genetics and consider environment. Totally different upbringing than my mother, why would I duplicate her reactions?

Strong ideations like these usually come from another human beings thoughts being very focused on the target, intentionally or not. It was very organic like human thought so I doubt if its the use of a weapon or tech but its possible.

And any of these people can try to use this to make me seem mentally ill or unbalanced in once again, as part of the never ending discreditation campaign.

Do so and I will write a very damaging expose right on the internet that will expose some.very embarassing facts about who I used to know in this city and exactly what went on.

Don't ever.forget those cards that stay firmly up my sleeve. My family has shit compared to what I know.

Don't u think I have understood for some time now that this entire situation is to handle me as carefully as possible so none of that information ever gets out? No shit. Its been obvious for years and the amount of people in on this fro the community if.not nationwide is ridiculous. I am fully aware of the fact.that.I am its being made to appear I am systematically ignored when all the while its all about handling me ever so carefully so nothing spills, like information about a number of people in this city.

Why do u think you've got idiots like homeless women doing directed conversation to add to the brainwashing "no one cares about her" but yet staff at homeless places can be seen shitting themselves if they have to kick me out for getting into it with someone like say, San Diego? The only reason I internalize any of that is becuz the psych warfare is used along with the tech which is impossible to fight. Its been 5 years and I haven't revealed.a thing yet. Their system of keeping victim witnesses quiet works believe me.

But keep it up with this crap concerning surrendering to my the Judases in my.maternal family and the info flow starts soon after.

The only reason I haven't revealed anything outside of fearing for my life is that MK Ultra was about interrogating 'agents' which means compartmentalized, programmed people or mind controlled slaves. If I reveal information under the influence of this system, and not my own free Will I am giving in to the last stage of behavior modification and that is the end of any remnance of my true Self.

If these jerks wanted info a subpoena would have sufficed. This is all a cover for MK Ultra and even continued experimentation, as I have received.emails telling me that the MILAB was part of their efforts to see how programming breaks down. I suspect that brain damage was induced to begin that breakdown of compartments...

The only way to beat this is to keep fighting and act only according to one's true Will.

If I get pushed back into being involved with my maternal mothers family, which would cripple me severely and interfere with what I am doing, I WILL program myself to kill every one of.them. I can do this and I will. If you've experienced the lone shooter.phenomena as well as the ones who kill whole families then you know its possible. I can also create an alter that perhaps wont turn the gun on itself..or better yet, it will all happen quite by accident and I will be in another country when it does.

If I was so inclined I could have easily gone quiet and gotten a job, pretended to go along.with the system and secretly planned to use that money to in future set scores.straight.

Im smart enough and you know it. I CHOOSE to be humane and kind and to show mercy as well as seek justice not pure revenge.

However, its best that my maternal family remain dead to me, like any normal Italian would want it, for.the good of all.
Local nutcase named Rita starting drama. Claims I asked her for her Nurontin last week. She's genuinely dangerous having the body of a wrestler and the mind of a six year old. She's the kind of person that makes the public loathe homeless and with good reason.

Someone better take care of this or I will.
She also called me paranoid when I told her id take legal action becuz she was harassing me.

Last week she got upset with me for being one of the people who told her.she was being way too loud which she does frequently. She then countered by claiming that I was making lewd facial expressions at her the whole time and that I looked like a pedopile.
Staff just told her to cut the shit and leave.

Obviously by the things she is saying, she's getting her 'material' for her 'act' from old smear campaign content.
Which is hysterical to listen to coming from her becuz its not done artfully or deceptively at all.

These local people from the low end of this just keep on tryin don't they.

At least I got yet another validation of my theory and past experiences with smear content.

She's got a billy goat beard if that helps describe her and her eyes look REALLY crazy...like one of those people that looks right through you when they look in yer direction.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Cher's Son Chaz New Book- TRANSITION

Cher's son (born her daughter) has a book out. TRANSITION by Chaz Bono.

Thanks for this, as people are so afraid to nail thier parents for their behavior, especially the can-do-no-wrong Baby Boomers.

One of the first freeing moments I personally ever had concerning my own mother's abuse and neglect was watching this late night infomercial with Cher for some skin cream years ago. Chaz was on with her and she kept throwing out little digs on her mom and I knew by watching this interaction just what kind of relationship they had, as all the behaviors and cues were familiar to me. She threw one out at Cher that was especailly revealing and it was like seeing my own mother's reaction. In total denial of how much of a bad mom she was, in favor of her own ego and looks.

I hope Chaz is happy with his life. Gen X has had the hardest time of any recent generation as our parents were nightmares but the world seems to idolize thier generation and they seem to always charm or push thier way out of being responsible for thier actions. You have no idea what it means to have to live with parents from the late 60's and 70's that were like this. The system just overlooked abuse and drug use back then and glorified the entire generation. We had like 5 minutes of being our own generation in the 90's, which was heavily manipulated politically anyway as the system fears us being raised by rebels and knowing nothing else, and then Bush came and ushered in this awful era and we seemed to get shut down and replaced by the BUSH YOUTH, akin to Hitler youth who are very well suited to this new world in place now and are frighteningly subservient to authority and when they arent they are usually extremely stupid and get into trouble.

Many people my age had to fight very hard to escape with our lives or keep our sanity as children of this generation. Boomers retain the June and Ward like ability to live in denial about reality, but have this ability to appear forever hip and cool to society. And due to that, often society hates us as whistleblowers, ruining for them the fairy tale of the 60's generation and what they represent.

I apprecaite this book, and it inspires me to keep fighting to produce my own.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

So what the hell is up with Gorgoroth's Teeth Grinding, @ 1:50? (after he ends his breath exhale at 1:44).
Anyone know what the obvious subliminals underneath are? You can hear speech underneath the music. Heard it many times before..but never NOTICED it. Like I wanted to notice it, but was under some sort of influence and couldnt.

(Kinda like that jerk I met on that Greyhound bus early on during this: Eddie Cox from Louisiana. Someone that looked very much like him was watching me talk on this pay phone in Denver CO, for 20 minutes freaking out on Scott back in MA. I saw this man watching me, but didnt really SEE him, know what I mean? I finally become fully aware of what I had been seeing subconshusly 15 minutes before. The worst perps I ve seen, they have this power. They seem to come in out of nowhere and disappear after they cause chaos, like whispering into the ears of some useful idiot.)

I assume there was always a reason for me to be guided into listening to this genre. The not printing of lyrics is obvious enough.

Puts the Beatles to shame.....

Armegeddon is real....isnt it? No one wants to admit this but its actually happening.

Whatever dude.

So Im supposed to wake up fully out of programming and be scared or something right?
I certainly dont want to be described as a mere nut case like certain real life rape victims of certain evil person's appetites. Thats not going to happen. Does the power hungry ego tripping ever end with these f*ckers? Unless of course this too is bullshit from the military, another ploy to pit targets against each other. Not sure yet, dont really care. When whole story is told, perhaps it will make sense then or someone else will have more info. Not too happy with what happened during Bush...not at all.

Actually Ive come to the conclusion that Armegeddon is bullshit and its being ACTED OUT like theatre and made possible by using tech such as HAARP to create natural disasters and of course tech for remote influence. Gee, lowering the population really has gotten complicated and theatrical hasnt it?

The powers that be know that in order to die for something, mankind needs to believe in something larger than himself. You sick of being manipulated yet, becuz I cant stand it anymore. It just gets more and more ridiculous. Why not just lower the birthrate instead? Its obnoxious.
I agree there are too many humans on the planet, and they are helpless, stupid, easily fooled, easily trained, ape like, violent selfish dumbasses who a part of me really hates and wants to see obliterated. Did I mention slow, weak and small? However, another part of me believes they have reedeeming qualities and they are so horribly sweet and helpless many of them, that they need assistance. But yes, they are horribly stupid and self destructive. They'd eat poison if you packaged it right for thier monkey mammal senses, agreed.

But this is not the way.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

If I can't get the govt and acedamia or private sector becuz they have covered their asses really well at this point I can at least try to get everyone here who was involved on conspiracy..and that includes my mother. She had information, she knew something and might have even lied about being followed not going and collecting money from the class action. Or she may have been shrewd enough to realize they'd pay her off if she complied to keep at least one experimentee or mind control survivor down for further damage: me.

Am I Famous For Porn?/ Leaders Continue To Treat USA Like Captives At A Kindergarden

I would also like to know the truth someday, whether or not there ever was an illegal hidden cam vid released of me involved in sexual acts or even worse- porn made while I was drugged, in some state induced by programming such as a black out state where I could do a porno and not remeber it.

Perps for years have dropped info in comments in public concerning either Jake releasing some video or that I somehow was in a porn movie. The other day I could swear two guys were discussing "she's famous." "For porn".

So I am well known to an entire nation and beyond becuz I am in porn, but I myself am unaware of this? Then there needs to be a lawsuit then and if I have to sue every citizen in the USA I will. Rachael O. vs The People.

No prob.

You can't continue to condemn someone based on something they aren't even aware of. Besides this is about obstructing justice and victim witness intimidation not some jumbo you can diss to avoid once again facing the reality that every citizen in the USA is responsible for war crimes, especially if you do things like torture Bradly Manning for war crimes and that puppet Obama is at the table saying "He broke the law" when he hasn't even had a trial yet ( you sure he studied law here at Haavaad?) while refusing to go after Bush or anything that occurred during Bush and claiming that 'moving on' is the best idea.

Your leaders are all full of it and can't even be depended on to have the balls to display any kind of logic or common sense. They are hired and paid.to do the opposite.

Monday, May 16, 2011


There really is a war on in this country against anyone not conforming to the NWO even culturally. On this bus out the airport this light African American got right behind me and was basically mobbing my space, I had a few choice words to mumble to myself about the driver being a rude foriegn born jerk. As I stood quietly this jack ass gets right behind me. I could feel this asshole getting so much win out of this so I at least turned around so he was facing my back. I then decided if he was so focused on a psychic win or draining me (which many Afican American males do very well which is why I percieve them as a major threat, blacks emote much more than whites who's energy often seems muted. Not all blacks many seem to be minding their own business psychically but in blue states usually I get this heavily in urban areas. And I wont tolerate it as a tool of racist sexist domination. No MAN is going to own me like that unless he is invited to. White men know better than to Fuck around with a slightly southern European woman like me in this manner. Black males for some reason seem to take my presence as a challenge to dominate. Just becuz Obama is in the white house don't mean u can lay yer mono down wherever the hell you damn well feel like it. And its done really snooty too and sneaky, which coming from a male of our species is enough to register you as dead meat as far as I am concerned. Being sneaky is for females.)

So I used my phone to give him a taste of a brutal black metal band video and watched him in the screen reflection. Of course he was looking at the scren with his little hearty eyes out the corner of his eye all hateful and thinking hes smarter. He finally saw me seeing him and got embrassed, deflected and totallly owned. FAIL.

Its hard to tell if these are law enforcement types on public transport posing as passengers but that would explain why he felt the need to become aggressive even if he expressed it passively. It may also be that gang stalkers are on a bus a TI is on before it arrives or that gs ride buses like the rest of us and know who the local TIs are anyway.

He could also just be a brainwashed New World idiot especially from a wealthy blue state who doesn't like any whites especially poor ones breaking the now carefully crafted social order. A shapely tall white woman dressed like a hippy traveler who may be houseless and who appears to be assertive with a brain in her head is a HUGE threat to this new social order they have formed in this country. Poor whites are a threat to the rich whites who are sponsoring their house slaves so heavily now. Any truly 'real' black person would also be shunned and held in suspicon as well by this type of upwardly mobile black, but to a lesser degree.

Its hard to tell if its a purely social reaction or if its purposeful gang stalking activity.
All I can say is thanks for the existence of Euro black metal bands that wont sell out, hate Hollywood and keep the musical standards high with what sounds like psychotic classical music pieces.

I guess that Steve Martin movie was right...we do have an inborn urge to listen to classical music! It just becomes very unfunny for our enemies when its packed with enough Vril to blow away a small town or energize the spirit of any tired, drained European, with the power of our ancient ancestors.

Remember that next time u think all 'whites' are stupid weak jerks under the rule of.the church or our Judeo christian pop culture. Cuz you'll get owned every time.

They won't wipe out all of us if we use our ancestors to protect us.

Of course right after I put on Rappers Depict..hey. one of the first rap songs I remember. I don't mind I had to get a crash course in black culture by being thrown into the 70s bussing mess from a foster home in the suburbs. Whatever.

But I had enough of blacks pushing me around and being domineering in the 70s and the excuse was that they were backwards ignorant prisoners of.the system. So what's the excuse now, when its done politely or on the sly? I got rich whites always trying run my life, I don't need this bs as well.

These people could simply be gs that come from COINTELPRO that needed alot of African American spies and destroyers in order to infiltrate movements like Black Panthers etc. Who cares?

No one is going to push me around and try to en my life, and certainly the gang stalking situation is NOT going to be defined as a largely African American victimization, there are all kinds of Targeted Individuals. Most mind controlled slaves with high level programming who have come forward are Caucasian females. Human experimentees however seem to come from all backrounds and or course whistle blowers usually get The Treatment.

This could be however, why the gs system tries so hard to drive certain people to being racist or sexist etc. Discrediting anyone they can is always a good thing.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I have to remember that part of the community that wants to destroy me are part of this pathetic little group that was out to help destroy my mother as well . Her family's beach house in Hull is in the rich Jewish area, where 'uncle' Charlie's was, or Charlie Akashian who was my mothers boss for years. The local women were jealous of this Catholic girl with the 6'10" bounced/leg breaker brother who protected his 6'0" sisters from the nastiest of the 70's city night life. My mother never slept around to gain favor. She baked cookies, used her height and looks and managerial skills to manage that bar on her shifts. I recall one visit as a little kid to Chalrie's beach house. I remember being left alone with that group of local kids from the families who lived there. They just looked at me, especially the boys, like I was an alien, a definite rejection socially. I was...unacceptable. It hit me slightly in my emotional center and I just rejected right back...they had already left me alone on the beach however. It affects me even less now. So nothing much has changed. The rich kid scum from that clique is just as obnoxious as always.

The world is going to know what went on in the 70s here. And the world is going to read about horrid,tacky people like Sheryl Rosenburg and her family, loaded but the grandkid is on SSI. When is society going to learn that the very rich learned long ago how to rip off and milk the system and are the true crooks while the lower classes don't know what's going on half the time and when they do get caught trying to break out of their chains with criminal ventures, they get crucified as diversion for the middle classes away from the crooks who are wealthy (not all wealthy are crooks I know this).

Its sad my mother screamed at me in the car when this all started to heat up during Bush, yelling that she wouldn't be condemned by me. Sadly, all I wanted was to relive memories in therapy and under hypnosis so I could heal and reprogram or rather create a new life for myself where I would use my life experience to help others.
Whatever my mother was hiding, what information she was afraid of me remembering, it wouldn't have been as bad then as its going to be now.

In fact I am now forced to condemn her simply out of the need to create balance, which could have easily been achieved formerly in the timeline much more easily by letting events unfold naturally instead of INTERFERING and attempting to alter the outcome.

I have to condemn all of them. Every single one, who helped this system destroy my future. Just to create balance once again.

I have to face the fact these people are all privvy to protecting a kiddie ring and child porn. I have to deal with the reality that anyone who is that scared if me remembering things from before the age of 6 must have an awful lot to hide. Child porn was semi acceptable in the 70s. Nowadays its supposedly on the internet so I am sure that's pretty accessable, but this was an entire culture that seemed to be artfully woven into the night life of the 70s era.

It could exist undetected, often even hidden beneath a veneer of 60's type innocence, which to anyone truly politically thinking from that era would realize was inappropriate.
It seems in my experience the true 60s rebels the establishment truly feared were from the early 60s. Born before 1950. There was something truly rebellious politically about this subgroup of Boomers, after Kennedy died, it seems to have revolved into more of a CIA directed LSD experiment, posing as simply a cultural revolution. If you want real advice on how to truly out think the Man, talk to the Uranus in Gemini generation. They are the truly dangerous thinkers. The later Boomers seem more clownish and colorful in their approach to rebellion. Compare JFK to Wavy Gravy and I think u get the point.

And too many kids from really rich connected families were in on the antics of later 60s culture. Grace Slick may have almost gotten into the White House with acid under her fingernails attempting to dose the tea at Pat Nixons tea party social, but the only reason she was on the list to begin with is due to her family being on the social register (one of.first families in USA, arrival at Plymouth Rock all that).

I don't trust any of it, the later 60's movement.

So I have to really face whatever my mother was mortified with terror of me remebering. And she seems to have alot of help from many people who seem equally as scared of what I might have remebered.

Thats why it was so important to have me discredited from the start, as well as made to feel I was a predator somehow for deflection.

I think this goes between cops, people like Julia and families like my mother's who sell their kids out to such systems. There was and is a conspiracy against me to prevent me from recalling memories of my very early childhood.
I wouldn't be surprised if kiddie porn wasn't involved, which would explian weirdos following me around and keeping tabs on me all my life, due to how "beautiful" I was as their only motivation.

I want all these people hung from their nuts and I want payback for being scapegoated.
Best thing to do is to get out of MA and move address to another state. Its what everyone wants anyway and I can't get what I need here. Everyone is mean to me or is trying to make me forget what happened. People around the country, strangers sitting near me or people out in public seem to know who I am or they know details of my story.

I can't live like this. Its slowly been destroying my sanity for years now. How do so many people know me? Wouldn't it be illegal to say, make vids of me in my apartment public like a reality show, or broadcast it somewhere? Wouldn't someone clue me in as to what really happened? How do so many people across the country know who I am? I don't understand. People who just seem to be part of a crowd at a bus stop in a small Cali town on way to Berkeley or staff at a Starbucks off highway in Cali outside wine country, they know this system tried to make me commit suicide. And they are mocking me about it, how do they know this?

Even after I expose everything it probably wont change the way I get treated here. Ill never have my old life back...

Every mornig I wake up and something says get a lawyer and I just can't..its useless to stay here.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

I have to get out if here. Its getting really bad again, probably due to the bioethics committee meeting. Im sure they'll do anything to keep me from that.
its obvious that this next one has been planned to be full of perps..nyc? Heavy gs city and very saturated wth mind control. Due to the terrorist threat every avenue of anti terror is used to harass TIs in that city.the day shelters are.full of ops and handlers, the gangs take part in the harassment. I was there one hour before a large population of the homeless women on the street heard some.smear from cops about my character. And Olnick is there too. Its like they are baiting me to go.

I don't care I have to get out of here anyway.

I have been here for almost one year and gotten only one doctor appointment done which took Herculean strength and Will to get done, and the people at tufts medical were dismissive and arrogant all being subtley overt about my being a target in this city years ago, and the doctor wouldn't go up against big pharma and admit that bactrim caused my allergy condition. So I can't get correct treatment if no one is willing to admit to the correct cause of the condition. Treating this like a simple allergy condition that develops in middle age is totally negligent and I wont have it. Its not good enough for me. Boston and Cambridge have resigned themselves to always and forever treat me like a nobody someone who is a total nothing and like garbage.

I can't sue anyone if I can't remeber and focus on getttling a lawyer. I am sick of people making me feel uncomfortable here and I am tired of so much electromag pollution that I can't remember the simplest things. I wanted to take classes at umass but I can't do that if I keep forgettng to call mass rehab once I get into city limits.

The jerk who ran mass rehab when I was trying to go to school in 2004 or so kept saying that I was expecting too much of myself. I took offense to this becuz I knew I was talented and smart but I never realized that he was, like everyone else, covering his ass and the system's ass too, by making statements then that would cover the circumstances years later. Like now.
if I walked in there he could easily once again blow me off by saying I expect too much of myself.

Don't u think it's odd that I've done all this work and traveled and made friends and contacts (character witnesses by the way) if I am supposedly not capable of such a feat, as is snidely intimated by that statement?

What should be noted is how much I seem to accomplish when working outside the system.

The mental suppression is far too powerful within the city limits. I have to face the sad, very sad truth that the metro Boston area is now a dead city due to heavy electromagnetic pollution. Its a prison, cut off from the rest of the world and is no longer anything like I remember it. My city is completely lost to this falsified timeline. Its worse than just a gentrified city, its so heavily polluted from.being an old east coast city and so heavily electromagnitic polluted that its been rendered uninhabitable. There is an active system in place where how u get targeted depends on how much money is in your bank account.

I keep going back to rescue what is mine that is still stuck in the old timeline. Like a ghost I can't be freed until that trapped energy is freed. I believe in the occult and ritual abuse ends of what is happening here and what has happened is the system has me trapped spiritually and wants that to remain so for the rest of my life.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Being Harassed In Harvard Trying To Find My Friends..WTF?

Blogger is down. I will transfer this tomorrow.
Being baited in Harvard Sq and stalked by MIT police and Harvard I believe. Two cop.cars went by looking desperately for a reaction after some students walked by and said things about my appearence just sitting in bench finishing last post.

Don't know why MIT is involved this is Harvard. Also last night I had a reeally bad UTI and needed to be near a bathroom. Just spent two nights in bathroom drinking cranberry juice and water peeing the UTI out which usuay works over a few days time.

I fell asleep in student center MIT and I usually don't get bothered but that happens very infrequently anyway. Last time I did that it was on a day no one notices and the kids saw me sleeping and actually had the door to a live concert closed for noise I guess. They don't realize being raised in the 70s loud live bands were often noise we had to deal with, sleep is no problem.
I knew I shouldn't have stayed there last night there were some big dumb homeless guys there who did not look like students but I was sick and MIT feels safe to me in that predicament.

Four a.m. cops woke me up, and I can't blame them due to the idiots there. After I.d. checks the cop dealing with me was very nice and even seemed like he didn't want to wake me up. The indication I got was that I don't bother anyone, I am actually there using the.computers all the time and this was due to these big dumb guys. Fair enough. I was polite and just left. Usually late night cops in different buildings around Boston, cambridge will just ask u to leave if yer presentable and polite and not bothering anyone. Checking ID is odd. But I can understand it becuz these guys were kinda ignorant but for.typical homeless white guys they were ok... just not for being seen late night at MIT.
But unfortunately that means my id was run and just like travelling on the road hitching and being a TI if u get id run by state cop on highway chance get harassment very organized and tailored next town stop at, depends on state.
You'd think MIT cops would want me in Harvard instead of falling asleep in MIT again. Doesn't make sense does it.
That's becuz these cops tonight aren't doing their jobs they are gang stalking and the fact that I got an organized bait and wait effort when I come to harvard lately on and off regularly must mean that ID run triggered something in gs system at higher level.

Also may be trying to take advantage of me not able to report in real time on.blogger.
Maybe they r tryng to warn me? What am I going to be set up tonight or attacked.or something?
War never ends...as long as these jerks are all threatened by what I know about a few choice people and things they will continue to try to discredit me always.
I am sure there is tons if footage of me freaking out Central Sq Cambridge area. Interesting its going to be to poinnt out that most of.the crazy unstable behavior I exhibit is only from one location specifically.
The aim is.to use covert operatives spies whoever to film or use security cameras to get tons of footage of me acting crazy or racist.
Like that 911 call used by Huffinton Post to make Jeff Manning look bad.
I am sure if I ever gain any power tons of footage will show up with Rach using racist slurs in areas like Central Sq..but there will be none of me in Roxbury or Ashmont, which is also black. True I don't go down there often but when I do I don't freak out. Why? If I am only freaking out about race and becuz I am unstable?
Becuz its due.to MIT and Harvard and all Julies rich buddies and 'friends' in these rich areas, causing a hell of alot of baiting me and instigating me, not race.
I was told also by someone in the know that Cambridge blacks feel they must work harder to be like the thuggery on tv they see, to show Roxbury they aren't punks. So they work extra hard at attemtping to downgrade their social status in an area that provides them safety, opportunity and endless benefits of trickledown from the colleges and.old money. Which includes intimidation of local rich white and metrosexual hipster passers by I guess who of course let it roll off their backs as they can literally afford to.
Whether I am dealing with methodical psychological warfare or I am dealing with local insecurities I am still being victimized and reacting as any normal person would after what I have been through and of course my being victimized by racist blacks originally as a child of the 70s bussing social experiment which turned the city into a.racial warzone.
The acedemics and city fathers never care about the poor of any race in boston, emotionally or spiritually, as long as we don't interfere with what is theirs and they don't have to live with us next door.
I notice that forced diversity if classes isn't very popular..lol.
No one with any brains is going to believe any of these set ups..unless they r working for perps somehow and I don't doubt their will be such people around even after the expose comes out.
They matter little concerning the truth now as they will then.
Remember these people truly believe they can alter events and bend the Will of others with covert activities- coercion, frame ups, intimidation, smear etc etc.
It is their goal to prevent the truth coming out.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Awoke To The Normalcy Per Usual On Sundays, Realizing How Falsified Is The World Now Every Other Day

I seem unaffected today. Slept somewhere different last night, wondered why this morning woke up so peaceful. Then realized after while it's Sunday.

Upon waking I saw the 90's comedy show "Married With Children". Watched for a moment, made me think back to my youth.

How did my life end up this way? It shouldn't have ended up this way. There is something wrong with this outcome, and when I experience times of little electromagnetic influence or total relief I know this to be true. Things are clear, make sense and reality around me is natural again. Like in 2002, or the early 90,s. Holidays, Sundays and at around 3 am always provides peace and a return to the normal way things used to be.

The sad thing is that I only experience a return to normalcy for mere hours at a time and this might also be what contributes to TI's suicides. To know peace for only 24 hours every week, and during that time to return to a normal peaceful life is too much psychologically.

I thought about what happened in that apartment in 335 Washington in Brighton, MA. That I couldn't have possibly stopped those events. That I could not have helped being targeted as I was. There is no way I could have known what was going on, its not my fault. And I have done the best I could all along in all circumstances.

A woman who worked at ABCD in Boston snuck a file into some paperwork given to me. It had all this info in it about the cell phone towers on roof of 335 Washington St, where I was living and being initially targeted. I had looked at the Nextel cables in the basement and was suspect that this cannot be healthy for humans...now I realize how right I was.
In the extreme.

People were providing me with clues and I couldn't have possibly figured out what was going on. And even if I did, and left that location, I would have been targeted in the next location anyway.

People were behaving as if I wasn't handling the situation correctly. Lou Ghepetti made a comment about how long I stayed in that apartment even though it was moldy. As if this was part of the entertainment. That my actions during that time period defined me as stupid and a victim. That it was amusing to people.

No one is going to be able to go through three layers of suicide programming and go through the process of discovering the truth about their life and circumstances after 32 years of believing deceptions as well as be under heavy mind control via technologies, one of the main sources being on top of their own roof and be able to handle whatever is going on with outside circumstances, especially if everyone around them is gas lighting them.

And still across the country I get put down, made fun of, mocked and marginalized for being targeted.
What I didn't realize is the sheer amount of Satanists connected to Aquino, COS and Church of Set. That Satanic activity was so prevalent among people connected to the military and police, military contractors and their families. That through the means of technology first mapped out by Michael Aquino and others the Mind War paper. That these concepts had been made a reality. And that society was populated by many a Satanist who indulges in these activites as well as Christians who seem to also serve these ends either knowingly or unknowingly. Infiltrators most likely. (It seems that Satanic activity like this involved persons from all walks if life and religions. So their outward circumstances are just a front then).

Things weren't supposed to happen this way. The mind blower is that they have.

The public's reaction at large is what is so shocking. So many people, are they aware of the true circumstances or are they just seeing the cover stories? The greatest horror would be if they knew the truth and acted as they have anyway.

The thing that's so horrible in this specific location is that the influence is so heavy one cannot function or counter the effects on the psyche.

The self esteem beat downs are daily and impossible to counter with relief only on Sundays and holidays.

Why would people want to live in a psycho civilized society such as this?

On days like this with little or no influence I can feel my body in its true state. I feel how tired I am in reality and the west and tear on my body. Pain is real, unblocked and I sense in realistic terms how much damage has been done over the years.

One of the effects of the tech as well as perhaps any chemicals such as in chemtrails that are used to control this area, seems to be the blocking of pain and being driven to work hard under any circumstances. Perhaps a way of controlling the public to ensure more productivity under the current harsh circumstances?

Friday, May 6, 2011

Either the population of Boston and surrounding areas really fuckin hates athletic brunettes from the lower classes or I left my synch and satellite wi fi on by accident and the perps are on this frickin train in a huge group. Imagine that the public could hate me that much ..

F*ck them. Im innocent and everyone knows it. Brats..

Im blasting Cannibal Corpse in my earphones..what rap would be more acceptable? Proves my point about the last post.

Madness has method kids..always. ;)

The Need For Self Defense and Self Definition In Lower/Low Middle Class Caucasians Especially Within Desegregated Areas

Quncy Center train stop. Very pretty blonde of the mid to lower classes.

Of course she was high off her ass on H.

I have come to realize that there is a race and class war in this country and its being accomplished under the guise of Diversity, PC, equality and the NWO.

I never see very attractive lower to middle class Caucasian women or men even in the Boston/Cambridge area.

Everyone 'special' is destroyed by a nation that is disguising their hatred beneath National Security, patriotism, religion, morality and building a NWO which is nothing more than mass mind control and a culture of spying and survaillence.

We live in the ultimate 'revenge of the nerds' scenerio except its a 'revenge of the average and not special'- and its epidemic by now.

Lower middle class and lower class Caucasians are being exploited, marginalized, excluded and ignored by the new structures of society. We are expected to either join the YUPpie culture or we are forced into black culture for either handling or as a keep down.

I am not talking about White Supremacy, Seperatism or anything to do with faith based racial philosophy. Poor whites ad well as any other culture should have a part in society like everyone else and not daily feel intimidated or denied.

No one is willing to voice this but I will becuz I have nothing to fear or lose.

Its one thing to mix with other cultures with your own pride intact or even intermarry etc, of your OWN WILL. Not becuz its being marketed to you by the media and you are being brainwashed. People should be free to have relationships with whomever they please, if its their personal choice. Its a whole different situation altogether to feel like your culture is being destroyed and you have no place and no pride so therefore you embrace another culture within your same socio economic class to simply survive. This should not be acceptable within the United States of America. There must be somethng suspect about the motive becuz no one is allowed to discuss this out of fear of mistreatment by the very people who are crushing lower class whites between them+ fear of social shaming for impropriety from upper class whites or violence from same class blacks.

And the intimidation needs to stop.

In certain cities and regions this problem is obvious like Boston/Cambridge. In other places it isn't so much of an issue.

What I am experiencing feels like a larger scale version of bussing and forced desegregation in the 1970s, except blacks know how to hide their hate and violence better or are more civilized in general, as the Man has finally had social programs to actually help the ghettos instead of sweep them under the rug as they did decades ago.

And the slavery arguement is another thing poor whites especially third wavers don't want to deal with and who can't get the truth broadcast anyway.

If your ancestors came here at the turn of the century and were either immigrants with no real assets or simply sponsored by someone to come to America, you cannot have had the time or opportunity to partake of slavery of African Americans. Also the most infuriating thing about blacks as well as the Jews is that they both market themselves as the only race or religion or faction of peoples ever enslaved or genocides. Which is ironic considering we are standing on land that was inhabited by a race of people who were genocides are still largely excluded from our culture and who's numbers of dead, tortured, enslaved and raped or sold into sex slavery are far beyond six million.

America is not a.free country. America is a spoilt rotten brat that simply wants things its own way and will lie, intimidate or hide behind whatever it has to to get it.

Its a fascist country now with no room for everybody and an insistence on creating false, rigid unatural social structures for people to live by.

And now we have an entire generation of kids who in the majority don't know anything else or any better..that what is going on in this country is outright wrong.

Its as if everyone had had to agree with this contract that is totally inhimane and immoral to survive, while calling it freedom and equality for the entire planet to use as example.

Its gotten really ridiculous.

What happened to me just shows how far this contract has gone and what the people behind it are capable of.

Its way beyond time to choose a side and be honest about what you really believe in. If agreeing with the system works for you but you dislike the injustice and don't 'believe' in it, you have still chosen a side to support.
They always figure out ways to get around the TI feeling safe.

Totay an employee approached me to chat during his break. I was suspect as they usually don't interact with anyone in this facility I sleep in.

I got away from him by going to bathroom to get dressed.

I came back and he acted like I was gone too long. The issue was that he had realized I wasn't interested in taking to him.

Upon return he was non engaging as he was when I left.

I walked out to catch bus and said goodbye. He said I was lookin good. I was surprised at the sexual harassment. I asked 'what'? He repeated this and as I looked back at him he winked.

A predator yes, just not a very good one.

The trick here is that I can't complain about an employee approaching me or sexually harassing me becuz I am not supposed to be sleeping there to begin with which authorities would use to invalidate my complaint.

A statey also went by and did the lean-over-to-look tactic, which may have been just his paranoid way of being as he seemed to be watching the cars beside him pulling out in the same hyper vigilant manner.

It may be that the perps are none too happy about that post last night concerning the theory that women are being targeted as a group for oppression since Bush. Providing the stats on Norway must have been even more annoying to them.
That hospital really made me mad yesterday. The way that all
medical people keep playing this is totally unethical.

There were only a few people that did their jobs correctly and ethically concerning the mold exposure. Its as if I am being treated like my health being totally ruined is par the course of being targeted.

In Colorado they were so mean in the ER that as I was lying down in the room there, a hospital employee walked by and said "Merry Christmas" in a very nasty tone. And one cannot claim that it was meant to be genuine, they were mean to me in the ambulance as well. Before I left the male nurse actually told me.to get out as a way of saying it was time to go.

In McLeans hospital during 2004 before I understood it was gang stalking a male psychiatrist acknowledged that he knew about what Dr Emmerich did to me and that is why I need to "get someone good". Blame the victim again.
I told him what the patients were doing to harass me and he laughed and covered his eyes with a quick gesture. Remeber I didn't know about the concept of gangstalking but I knew I was being harassed by people in ways that were outragelus and wrong. I was being terrorized, people seemed to know about it and nobody really cared. How can health professionals behave that way? How can people who are in a field to assist other human beings treat a patient that way?

And at On The Rise regardless of my now being expert in gang stalking research, I understand now they too are playing the same game.

How can so many people be in on this?

think the problem here is that society needs to cover for human experimentation especially the medical field. Psychiatry would collapse if many Targeted Individuals realized they were organized stalking and harassment targets.
Early on they tried to convince me I was targeted by the Illuminati. Someone actually said that. Its not a very clear definition is it?

If this is the case then due to the actions and attitudes of people over many years and across this country, our entire nation is run by this shadow group. If not then we have a country run by military and their interests or CIA and theirs.

The only reason I mention those two factions is becuz they are both responsible for the human experimentation my mother was victim to as an infant- radiation and MK Ultra respectively.

Also many Survivors of high level programming have mentioned being a mind controlled programmed 'slave' is connected to the CIA. Brice Taylor and Cathy Obrien both.
What's interesting is that only Mark Phillips can claim direct involvement with CIA. How do Cathy and Brice know there was CIA involvement?
I know that its supposed to be obvious but in testimony can they link CIA with hard evidence? Which one needs to convince people.
Its totally probable considering their links to those experiments.

The problem is that the public seem largely aware of what is going on and they don't seem sympathetic towards the victims, who are severely abused by the way. People largely acknowledge what's going on but seem totally unsympathetic.
Especially the medical field which is incredible to me.

If that many people agree with this system it explains why we are ignored and disbelieved. We are purposely being ignored and disbelieved. I have experienced social services types in excellent day drop ins for the homeless sit behind me and smirk or grin like this whole situation is funny to an advocate I am explaining my story to.

I cannot fathom how people who are in a helping profession can be so mean to Targets or Survivors of mind control.

The reality is that they are there to help the homeless not the mind control Survivors or Targeted Individuals.

We are discriminated against in society, its that simple. And this can be cloaked by the same means as the human and civil rights abuses: by either intimating or percieving the Target is mentally ill, which strangely said society seems to know is not the case - so its still discrimination.

With the bio ethics committee coming up and so many TIs giving testimony this gives us some cred and breathing room.

But even with ultimate victory we must always remember one thing: they knew.
Many people in society knew what was being done to us and still they both went along with it and even derived pleasure from it such as humor or a sense of superiority.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

A Disclaimer : Current Race Issues In GS

There is now and has been an all out campaign of intimidation and sexual harassment by BLACK MALES in the Boston area and Cambridge. Black females do not seem to be an issue in public only in private communal spaces like On The Rise.

I want it known that this is being done purposefully to get me discredited. Since so many blacks were involved with the organized stalking and harassment that was the most brutal I experienced as well as one group openly referred to me as " a target" I have to assume I am being harassed in this manner in public to get plenty of witnesses and video audio evidence to make me out to be racist by choice or by nature.

This is to discredit me in advance so that my future expose is not believed or is percieved by the public to be the product of a paranoid racist mind.

Let it be known and very clear that any and all reactions are the results of severe trauma from years of gangstalking and the constant nature of Cambridge and Boston being a racial warzone for all races of the lower class.
it was also my experience growing up during bussing to be a victim of racism from 'black people' now referred to as African Americans so in this geographic location o am already sensitized.

I will and have used as a female whatever I deem necessary to fight back. I use race due to it balancing the power struggle brought forth by a male who is using his power as a male in a patriarchal society to overpower me or intimidate. Naturally I will utilize my social status as 'white ' to counter his social status as 'male'.

This is covert war and the rules do not apply as they do in real life.

If anyone thinks this is going to fool the public ultimately or fool me even in the short term you are mistaken.

Its simply an intensifying of a stalking/harassment tactic that the perps have found both works to get a reaction out of me and is socially acceptable/tolerated/undetectable in the culture present in this location.

Rich whites either are untouchable to these men here or they let it roll off their backs becuz they can afford to, literaly and figuatively speaking.

I cannot afford to and will not be subjected to MALE DOMINATION using sex especially as a cheap weapon.

I will post a video on this soon and inform the public exactly what bussing was like what Boston/Cambridge are like etc.

This seems to run along the lines of Eve Teasing in India and surrounding countries.

World wide since Bush there has been an increase in this sort of covert oppression of women WORLD WIDE.

Norway may have a law that 30% of their board rooms be female etc but there has been a record drop in the woman holding POSITIONS OF POWER.

Alongside gangstalking of potential whistleblowers there seems to be a world wide conspiracy to reintroduce women into oppression. ALL WOMEN.

Tufts Medical Center...Still Riding That Wave From the Bush Years

One of these days these (corporate owned) medical centers and the power tripping assholes within are going to have to admit that I am not dangerous or delusional but a victim of this system that hounds experimentees and their families for life. Trying to make me out to be a fraudulent lawsuit hound like my mother is a great way to cover your ass when I actually have been wronged legally by several people and have paperwork to prove it.

Getting bloodwork done was hysterical. The older guy with the hearing aid tried to give arrogant looks as if I was wasting my time in general by existing.

Always look back before you leave a room and you can see perps looking up to wath you leave. Which the foriegn black lady did as I walked out.

They are all so fuckin arrogant.

Do you think I forgot how I was treated in Chinatown? That I don't remember Dr Ching telling his assistant to heat up the needle for bloodwork or the little Asian women in Dunkin Donuts I caught putting some kind of white powder in my coffee? Its either Julies little Chinese mafia buddies or its more psychological warfare to make me think so.

NEMC is going to serve me and they are GOING to make me well and respect me. I still may sue them years later when this all comes out for their part during Bush.

You can kiss my ass and you WILL reap what you've sown.

Remember the symbol of the double serpents around the staff that represents the craft.you are treating like corporate whores nowadays.

Symbols and their power don't die. People do and their pettiness and.corruption goes with them.

Those idiots need to look more closely at the serpents..much more closely and have a bit more respect.

When this is all over they will have renewed respect for the craft and ancient power. Believe it.

Allergist Wont Admit Bactrim Caused Condition/ Lessons about Power

Went to doctor today. Very nice older man, head of allergy dept. His plan of action to manage the allergy reaction condition was sensible. But he, like the nurse in CA would not admit the Bactrim caused this condition. He was nicer about it but his con was the same: we don't know why, people develop allergies in their later years etc etc.

Which is not only contrary to logic, sense and my experiences, its also in opposition to what two other physicians told me. One worked with the homeless and probably was more anti establishment and the other was a flaming red head who reminded me of my uncle from Phoenix AZ who wasn't into the bs and mistreating me. I think we have misjudged places seen as racist nowadays. People don't understand what's going on now, with corporations and banks having such control and power. A place that can afford to not be afraid of retribution is one of the few safe places left.

As we can see, the places labeled 'Liberal' like MA and Cali have been the places I've been most mistreated and where doctors are obviously afraid to go against big pharma.

They think they can still handle me in this city. Joke. Ill simply search for a doctor who will finally admit that the chances or probability is high that the Bactrim caused this condition, that I am told cant be cured.

I am sick of being fucked over and having everyone think they can handle me into continued silence and compliance.

They think that all the constant harrassment and me reacting to extreme stress has me so discredited that they are all set and don't have to worry.

I still have to hold dear that TRYING TO KILL ME DURING BUSH was a bit much. They went to damn far with that and I am now eternally pissed off and determined.

When you realize that people tried to murder you, get you into cars, poison you and dosed you with psychotropics in spray bottles, you tend to take it personally. Eternally.

The only thing society and the gs system can do is politely consider me a screw up or officially delusional.

I am going to get these motherfuckers if it IS the last thing I do.

Welcome to the world of high level programming. You triggered the wrong mc slave. You shud have killed me when you had the chance.

Now so mich has been done to reduce me to nothing BUT base programming.

You tried to destroy me. Why would anybody do that? I just wanted to go to school and help people and do artwork.

I am beginning to understand the reasons Helms destroyed those files. And I am very suspect that the reason I am not allowed to mess with Bush or could not speak ill of him during his presidency is that the NWO might actually be based on people like me exposing the abuses of power concerning technologies. He claims it will be a world run by the rule of law not the law of the jungle.

That could mean mass mind control or it could mean the public being freed from mass mind control.

..the secretary's nerdy son just had a conversation about his college with an elderly lady. The family bragged about his going to Japan. The older woman mistakenly thought he went to UMass. After the elderly woman left he asked his mom if anyone in the family went to UMass as if it was beneath them.

This place never changes. Its so insulated from the outside world..coddled and snobbery is a way of surviving emotionally. Its a weakness taught to the Yankee growing up..one that travel frees one from in time. It has helped thY I was totally removed from my life here, connections totally severed and the community totally rejecting me.

Now I can grasp fully the meaning of worldly power. I am beginning to see the reawakening in middle age. POWER...feels good.

I mentioned to her I had to rearrange my next appointment due to having to go to testify at the next bioethics committee.
I could sense junior the college snob lose a bit of snob-based power tripping and slump just a bit in his chair.

I enjoyed it milisecond, then moved on to the business at hand.


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Rock N Roll TMI


This at least had me rolling from some theraputic laughter.
Here's to the jerks who gave my ex a job and gave him cred. Sex gods? I think not. Perhaps if one is 20 or so or vvveerry submissive to males and this patriarchal hell known as 'rock and roll'.

Have you seen the physical size of any of these guys? Forget it. Bags of bones.

You know who was a true sex god? Jake my ex they helped after he "helped someone " so I was told by an informant. Yeah helped destroy me..that man was so lucky I still loved him. Spared him alot really...he has no idea of what I could've done.

But one must keep focus on the true aggressor being these factions connected to my mother's radiation experimentation as well as whatever was related to protecting that bitch madame Julie. Hey, maybe they like whores too. Like rape role playing..kinky stuff. Who the hell knows.

What is amusing about them is the interviews they give where they fight like a couple of b*tches. I liked the recent about one of them dragging the other into their drug use in 2008. I wonder if NA still coos over their presence with limos on Sunday mornings as the highlight of their pathetic lives.
Rich kids brown nosing famous rich kids. BORING.

Heroes are people who don't have yes men around us constantly..in fact you could say we have mostly 'no' men surrounding us daily...lol.

And the poor pathetic public buys into cover stories with shiny beautiful people in the mix...when the reality is much much more IMPRESSIVE yet grim.

Maybe that horrid blonde b*tch who Jake did a video for around the same time, can write a song titled 'head hangers and dirty looks' becuz perps are no longer using smiles or smirks..that is just so Bush era psychologica warfare/classical conditioning. That cd was titled '@#$% Smilers' with at least one TI story ripped off to make a song on it. More like @#$%& Smirkers really. Idiot. That one trick pony one hit wonder needs to keep her bs on her side of the street and stick to her little Boston/Hollywood rich kid clique...like Wahlberg and his two buddies, you know, all the people who owe the mob favors for being famous, and the cops. Either that or they have joined the same cult, whichever one it is its a joke so who cares.

I still hope Ice T has some fun with her ass when she least expects it for blabbing on Twitter some rich kid opinions about Ice T's acting abilities, which once again she needs to stay on her side of town.

This is when I feel that kinship from childhood with an 'urban' mentality. Its when a low class white feels that the rivalry with low class blacks is gone temporarily, in the presence of a common enemy.

I know rich people get targeted as well but Boston has a f*ckin big problem with their social scene. Its so hard to get into for outsiders the city really believes it can do whatever it pleases.

I hope my book chokes the life right out of everyone in this city who thinks they know what's going on. When they realize it has little to do with them and its an international matter and concerning war crimes etc they might just have a tantrum and sulk, calling their powerful 'connections' and demanding it be about them.
Boston rarely understands the word 'no'.

being targeted subtley and constantly into silenced victim witness

I find myself markedly weakened compared to when I first showed up back home. The loss of my long time companion the netbook was bad enough but seems to have handicapped me more than I realized.

I've become not only weakened but sidetracked. I now focus on my future as most important as opposed to rectifying the past.

I think seeing how many people have NOT been concerned about me or how many people throughout this have not looked to me or asked about me shows a certain lack of care on everyone's part who knew me before the harassme.t turned 24/7 during Bush. Its as if I don't exist. I no longer sleep outside and I have become accustomed, conditioned rather to going daily to one.specific day drop in where I seem to get stuck and can't leave for the duration of the day. Once again its the very heavy influence if tech within the city limits.
I can't even prepare properly for medical appointments which its taken me months to be able to make to begin with.

The lack of Will that I felt was due to some influence here in the early 2000's when I felt it obviously interfering with my doing paperwork for a lawsuit against Olnick (I had to leave and go to Vermont to be able to get the paperwork done) is now more subtle and prevelant than ever.

There is a system of conditioning at this day drop in that has been very detrimental. Today I heard staff talking about someone who donates food to the place. One advocate said that when the woman arrived to donate food, she purposefully "ignored, ignored ignored " her becuz she knew the woman wanted a reaction of gushing thank yous from staff for her charitable actions.

I thought it was rather emotionally stingy to avoid such a simple reward to someone. They must not be suffering financially too much.

This made me realize that all the moments they go from resonding to me in a kurt manner to speaking normally to me as well as limiting the things we can discuss or words we can use are all part of conditioning. I know this place is part of behavior modification but the stress involved with stifling myself as well as becoming dependant and lazy and of course winter has gained me 20 lbs. All I funk about now is food. Its like the only thing I have left that I derive pleasure from as my health gets worse and my other issues go unaddressed.

I have experienced some mild remote influence in this place that has over time altered who I am as a person. There is specific evidence and what I am refering to does not occur at other day drop ins.

I at last weigh in am one BMI point away from being obese, the heaviest I have ever been in my life: 197 lbs. Being 5'8" and with somewhat muscular build as well as shapely it doesn't look all that bad. I am not round. What bothers me is.this is acceptable in the homeless scene or welfare culture.

One woman who's a meaner variety of drunk locally exclaimed that I looked healthy due to gaining weight. I know she was being deceptive rewarding an unhealthy behavior. NO I LOOK OVERWEIGHT. She commented that I looked unhealthy at 173 lbs when I arrived last summer, which is still 20 lbs overweight for me.(Its obvious not to trust those who's faces and ears look especially demonlike. They do exist. I've seen regular people with such features and the police and security with such features and a powerful build are of most concern. Of course I never fear them, one must simply respect what they are capable of, who's side they are on and to listen most carefully to a forked tongue's words. Like falsified compliments concerning weight gain that is detrimental to health. They are nothing more than one more variety of human being on this planet nothing else. Its very much like a video game with various characters. Its laughable that one can experience more information about the metaphysical realities of this plane in modern video games than is allowed to be acknowledged in real life...which is on purpose I assume, lol. Like I said before I work mostly off of research, fact and life experience, but these little oddities make the ordeal bizarre sometimes.)

This is why they target the TI into this culture. Its dumbed down and people do not care for themselves properly.

It seems to be all about keeping me overweight and only focused on enrolling in UMass. My health issues are still being neglected for the most part. It took Hsrculean strength of Will, only available in a burst to finally make these appointments for my allergic reactions.

I am not being allowed to seek a lawyer for any of the concerns I have which are various and valid.
I am now forgetting things at the speed of light. My mind seems repressed.

There is a presidential biocommitee on May 18th in NYC. I am being steered away from that just as I am being steered away from all my activism recently. Some ideation today told me its best to keep quiet about being targeted, that there is some danger about coming forward.

Just yesterday or whenever I posnted that my faith in humanity had been restored slightly due to small event, I posted that finally (i was going to post it anyway later) due to being given the strong ideation that the criticisms of Jews or local blacks was driving some authorities somewhere to consider me heavily for a concentration camp, which I was threatened with coming into existence at month's end. I was also given the idea that speaking out about how I have been targeted for years at this committee would make me a.candidate for these camps. And finally that enrolling in UMass would exempt me from the camps due to student status opposed to my status now as just a homeless woman technically.

Either these are events that are going to come to pass and this is the guidance system per usual or these arie harassing threats meant to keep me silenced and discredited (no legal rep or putting cases together that would show conspiracy over time) as a victim witness to various crimessq one of them of course being long term torture and imprisonment.

The mind control influence is now constant and subltr enough to not be detected readily. Its constant and by the minute now. With my defenses down due.to months of conditiig.
What connection is there between Bin Laden and the mind control tech being used?

Since his death I have experienced a significant drop in remote influence being a problem.

I first experienced some relief when the trees and other plant life became came into full bloom here. Perhaps a buffering effect, which other TIs have told me about years ago.

I also got on wrong train this morning and as usual experienced a drop in thought flow blockage and the presence of a one dimensional mind structure. I could recite in my head and felt it was easy to think freely or to receive thought(s) in my 'mind' if you will.
The more into the city that one gets physically the more thought and the free free flow of it seems jammed. This had been documented by me in past posts. This has not changed and during Bush it included a stronger affect and even torture in some sections. I had mapped out the parameters even in one post.
The cause of this is either chemical or technilogical. Most likely the results of both.
I'd say tech defines the parameters due to the drop in suppression of the mind and thought being always the same train stops.

This sounds unbelievable but isn't that what Valerie wolf said about the MK Ultra and radiation experimentees, at the Presidential testimonies? That it sounds "unbelievable"? Nothing concerning mind control and human experimentation is unbelievable unless its disinformation and only those who know what good information consists of can recognize that.

Since the death of Bin Laden there is a marked relief mostly from v2k though this improved a small amount when the trees and other flora came into full bloom recently.
The other improvement has been emotional manipulation as well as anxiety.