“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Saturday, August 10, 2013

I Hate GS Desperation/Another Disappointment Ive Got To Get Out Of

M Like having to stay in peoples homes who are not healthy for a TI. U end up settling for way less and settling for pieces of sh*t that under normal circumstances you'd never think of being around.

Many people on ..in the USA seem to be aware of a person being targeted even though they may not take part directly or rather as outright active perps.

These types usually end up merely mocking the Target while the TI gets to exist in fairly peaceful circumstances as opposed to an area where the environment is transformed into an all out psychological operations warzone.

This chips away at the TIs emotional state and inner confidences becuz we get a false sense of security.

I don't understand why such people do what they do becuz it doesn't seem they get rewarded or compensated like outright perps and betrayers.

It appears that an entire nation's people find it beneficial to their system and themselves to engage and perpetuate a campaign of discrediting a Targeted Individual.

Im now experiencing people around me who suffer from having screwed up sexist views like female haters trying to make me miserable even trying to make me leave the place I'm staying.

Its established now by my years of experience that people with merely personal motives will share in a GS campaign against a Target even without compensation.

Hating the Target's demographic is one such motive. Racism sexism classism and such. Simply making themselves feel superior to a Target seems to be another motivation.

This little rich kid traveler whos a friend of the guy I am staying with is back in town and suddenly when he comes over I find myself having psychological warfare put on me. The guy Im stwying with is a functional drunk and someone Ive known for years off and on about three years. He has messed up behaviors sometimes but he doesn't have enough power to put me through something like that himself. He chips at some confidence and hurts my feelings occasionally but nothing like the shitty environment created when they get together in the apartment. It was ok when he had one of his twenty year old girlfriends with him but alone with those two I get messed with.

The kid supposedly had to leave the state for pulling a gun on someone and he went to Costa Rica and Panama. He's back now staying at some squat house in Portland.

Gee what happened to the legal difficulties?

Could it be my host's friend is only back so he can obtain an 'out of jail free' card like every other perp scumbag who's in trouble?

He's also a sexist. The kid is bi but exhibits typical gay male woman hating behaviors.

My friend flirted with him last night in a way that mocks and excludes me even though it was supposed to be a joke like hes not gay himself of course. And there was no twenty year old female around worth behaving for.

Its suspected that men who bond over their hatred for women as a legit motive for engaging in the mobbing of a female TI in any capacity have closeted gay issues that are very serious.

Ive realized over time how dangerous males are in this society when they seem wounded by childhood traumas that make them have closeted homosexual desires. Just being closeted by or gay isnt the only issue going on. There's something else that really fucks them up going on.

These sexists and the screwed up guys harboring gay feelings are the world's biggest assholes when you are a female Targeted Individual. They make the whole thing about other bullshit its not about.
This is about me being a second generation govt whistleblower and knowing too much about criminal operations involving authorities in Boston not sexist's excuses for women deserving to be hated.

I wanted to leave anyway becuz he's turned into kind of a dick.

Hes only affectionate or pleasant to me now when this kid is around when its just his kid me and him I have to practically beg for affection and walk in eggshells around him.
Then i get insecure and start being pestering. Its like he knows i will do that so he plays it that way.

I might as well leave becuz i cant get anything done here anyway. Ive posted that the area around this house seems targeted anyway. And the way he's acting along with his kid and unruly dog has just made me into this maid/childsitter anyway. Thats probably why he wants to keep me around.

If i cant get my blogs done and call lawyers leaving is once again the onky option. Its a pity becuz the hospital here is great and i could've gotten alot of health issues fixed in Oregon.

Same story different locatiin. Its always the same for the Target. And the system expects eventually this will make you give up or settle for the fate that outside forces have shaped for you.

One shud never give in to aging, failing health or disappointment. That is not why you are in this situation being targeted. You are in this situation to win not succumb.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Time To Move On Again

Omg this guy I've been staying with .has been being such a manipulative jerk lately to get me to leave.

I wish he had just told me to leave sooner or that i shud plan to leave.

It wud have been alot easier.

Onward to trying to get to EU...so i can be targeted someplace thats actually home.