“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Clear On A Saturday Game Day In Portland-An Assessment Of Downtown Portland OR

Whole Foods in downtown Portland is absolutely horrid when it comes to being a TI.

Ive been here, or rather suffered here now long enough to have assessed this area.

It seems that downtown Portland is completely psycho managed by tech and most likely chemical influences. Ive seen what look like chemtrails outside the downtown area.

There's no tactical harassment for me as a TI however I daily encounter citizens who behave as if they know who I am and make it obvious they are agents of this system.

I am confident in this claim becuz when i go to outlying areas away from all the towers downtown, i am less influenced by technology and of course, then there are perps who perform overt and tactical harassment.

Also, when therr is an event where citizens come into downtown who obviously live outside the area for a sporting event at the stadium here downtown, THEY DO NOT BEHAVE ABNORMALLY AS IF THEY KNOW WHO I AM. They act like normal average people.
I also note that on such a day there is an event like this, the ill effects usually encountered downtown are not present.

Portland seems to let up on tech and chem influence on Sat and Sunday unlike other cities where Saturday might actually be the worst night of the week, such as Cambridge/Boston area where I cud always count on Saturday being an absolute torture nightmare of pain and suffering.
In Portland downtown, Sat and Sunday are fairly clear days. Monday is manageable. However, the torment experienced from Tue-Fri is absolutely unbearable and unbeatable. These four days are so crushing that they make life unable to be lived. Nothing gets done and Ive experienced an actual change in me as a person. Boston might drive me to racism and getting pissed off alot but I can stand my ground therr and at least get some things accomplished even though along the way I am made nervous and miserable daily.
This area goes for a all out severe mental illness in a Target, from Tue-Fri. Its possible becuz the system here reaches very very deeply into the Target's mind. I also experience physical symptoms here like severe anxiety and my heart not doing well.
I overeat very badly during the week also.

Ive noticed that anywhere that has ALOT OF MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE ESPECIALLY THE HOMELESS is a place that is going to be difficult for a Targeted Individual.

I can't claim that all these people are targeted and being made crazy, even though in my experience over the years this seems to be the case. I can't make that claim becuz mentally that is too much for me to deal with. I also cannot prove that every single person is being made nuts form the system. It could be a medical issue with the brain not working properly.
Since psychiatry lies to us about human disorders and covers for the GS system, a layman can't make a sensible judgement on the issue.
I can say that a portion of the mentally ill population r definitely in that condition due to the 'gang stalking' system.
San Diego CA, Boston MA, downtown Portland OR these are downtowns that have alot of mentally ill people that most definitely exist BECUZ OF BEING INFLUENCED BY TECH, CHEMICALS AND SOME PSY OPS.
Being homeless just frustrates and pisses them off even more becuz of the stigmas.

In the 70s it was called microwave sickness. Now its completely controversial and being suppressed by the powers and their media.

Uses of technologies is just a part of the system used to manage an area with population nowadays. Its technologies with chemicals and human forces doing psychological operations.
The rule of thumb is anywhere there is less tech influence there will be more or more heavy handed psychological operations using live in person human forces.

Portland was managable until I started using my food stamp card from Massachusetts. It might have been an ok area if I had not done that.
However the plan for me here seemed to be to get a job and get housed and it was being pushed on me very quickly.
Thats the problem with Portland-it seems like its this cool, easy going area but its one of the most Willpower and true Self crushing locations I have ever been in. Strangely that's really only experienced from Tue-Fri!
The tech is very deep reaching into the brain here, so much so that UNLIKE other locations, the damage from this might actually be permanent and I can't have that.

I suppose I fell for this area due to its mountain town charm, the people being so cute on average, absolutely beautiful specimens of blonde white males of Russian, German and Nordic descent or intriguing Native blonde mixes, the 90s type feel of the place and their Liberalism without being Liberal elitist like Berkeley CA or Cambridge MA.
Like San Diego its also someplace I genuinely wanted to help cause social change specifically in the homeless population.

It would be practical to fight all this by working on electromagnetic pollution activism but thats hard to do when the powers behind that problem have every major area of the USA with needed resources completely covered with a system THAT ENSURES THAT ACTIVISTS and anyone else who knows about this system who's against it are kept in a state of being incoherent, forgetful, half insane-targeted basically.

If I had the ability to work somewhere on this staying up nights and cranking out work on weekends and holidays you know I wud. I have the strength and experience with sleep dep to do that.

So they make sure I stay on the road, on the run and cant settle anywhere.

The most annoying thing about downtown is that everyone who seems to know who I am in the street plays these little games like alot of head hanging tactics (we all feel so bad we have to targrt you. -or- You are dead. You've failed. You are permanently kept down in this situation.) and much walking by appearing to be disgusted with me or frustrated Im actually still alive/in their town. A few people actually stop if they cross my path and allow me to walk by first-which is just another overdramtic way of making 'the TI feel self conscious.

The Truman Show effect here is really bad.

Last night after being messed with directly by a perp in Whole Foods (who tried to interrupt my eating with interrogation which i cut short with earphones then a call from a friend, which perp sitting behind his laptop was pissed about. Kept glancing up at me. It actually looked like there was an entire perp group in that upstairs cafè which has gotten really bad for gs. The security camera system there is definitely connected to something creepy-its more remote influence and feeling monitored than McDonald's.) ..I was given all these ideations about important people somehow watching and then being sympathetic: Alan Greenspan? Why do I not think so? And if such a person IS able to watch a hacked food store camera system THEN I DONT WANT TO BE IN THAT STORE. Damn....ridiculous.

And of course none such bullshit occurs in my mind on Sat or Sunday here in Portland and its simply managable the rest of the week.

And can you PLEASE stop trying to convince me GW Bush is a fan and thinks Im this awesome warrior chick or something? Even if 'that were true, its simply distracting in what I am trying to do.

I want to unload this f*ckin book and move on to other things!!


So..downtown is off limits and once again its a shame.

Today, Saturday here it feels like it did across the USA just two years ago. Now I can't even travel anyway in the continental United States becuz the remote influence is so heavy and destructive now.

My theory is that they are trying to make a world where the kids born native to tech can live and kill the rest of us off slowly. Anyone older better have money to survive the harsh new electromag pollution thats outside-which means they need to be INSIDE alot or have good medical care for problems that are going to arise.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Mustaine And Megadeth Endorsed A Homophobic Catholic Republican Presidential Candidate??? Seriously?


Can we please get musicians and their bands OUT OF POLITICS?? They are wayyyy too artful at deception...either that or easily manipulated.

What the hell is wrong with homosexuals when it comes to Christians anyway? Deep Southerners are the biggest hornpouts in the USA to begin with-they just keep it behind closed doors. Gimme a frickin break.

Being from Boston, the idea of a Republican Catholic is creepy anyway.

I wish Republicans were the bit more reasonable, sane breed they were when I was a toddler-before Reagan I suppose. Ford wasn't great...but he wasn't this bad either. Ok..he had HW BUSH around him and all the madmen who would be a part of the horrors of the GW BUSH administration but Ford himself did some halfway decent things and I believe cared more about the scores of his favorite sports team's games at any given moment than who the f*ck any of us were having relations with. Ok ok..there's the FBI informant thing. Hell I dont think anyone gets into the US presidency without being bought or corrupt or working for special interests.

Religion shouldn't be one of them.

Politicians used to focus on business and minding the store. The crazier stuff like black projects, secret wars etc were the things of conspiracy theory until years later it could be made public-some of it never will be.

It goes to show that politicians are now concerned with psy ops, brain washing and mass minr control -still on behalf of special interests.

Its very manipulative to have potential people in power be of a belief system that scares people and makes them feel their civil liberties and freedoms as American citizens will be lost.

In this way by participating in such action, the band is still 'Satanic' if you will. Deception, manipulation, the hypnosis involved in mind control has many forms.

I don't trust Mustaine. He was raised Mormon and is by genetics of Jewish descent partly.
There are many LDS church ritual abuse Survivors many of them now Targeted Individuals.
He may be very easily influenced.

He's too rich, too famous and too close to the system to be trusted. All those celebrities are.
This is also another example of the elite wanting to create new version of the fuedal system-celebrities, our modern version of living gods-get to influence our decisions on politics and who the people choose as their leader.

The people should choose their leaders and no, its not that the public are incapable. Its that they don't want the public understanding how corrupt the system is or what exactly it takes for this country to run.

The last election was simply freaking everybody out so Obama would look like the sanest choice anyway.

I love these mock, faux little bitch battles that Obama has with Mustaine-he insulting him about not recording all of his own guitar tracks or writing songs or something like that and Mustaine claiming Obama orders false flag ops etc, all the while using the word "faction" five million frickin times an interview to make fun of the fact i used that word to death becuz the brain damage has robbed me of my once rich vocabulary-and of course as a mirroring tactic.

The candidates claiming to be metalheads in the last election is also a way of co opting, stealing and mirroring much of my generation's style of activism.

I was told once by a helpful perp that the system was deathly afraid of me becuz I had a militant streak in me, especially connected to my taste in music that 'could rally the troops' and become revolutionary. It seems I scared some people, obviously enough to get me targeted and beat down to the well behaved lobotomy patient i behave like today.
Two days ago one of the dykes in the women's place I stay told me I was "harmless". She then added I was gentle with people which is what she meant and it was kind of nice she said.

New Englanders are gentle, of course. To hide what's underneath. No need to be overtly nasty, becuz in Boston, the politics or the community will get you one day anyway. Unless you stay tightly connected to just the right people, sell your soul and go along with whatever horror show they are pulling off to do 'business' and be willing to be so greedy you'd turn on your own mother for the system.

Im gentle the way the old Mafia guys in suits were good to little kids...becuz they know that's the only innocence left in the world my mother used to say.

These constant media psy ops result in a major TI beat down over time. They will get you believing you've lost and that you are indeed, harmless. That its over and any further fighting is in vain, when the opposite is quite true. Only now is the public so much more recpetive to TI activism, since so many have become activists and people now can sort of make out how the system works and how its set up. It was always in place but they've gotten really overt, greedy and ambitious since Reagan.

Now we just have to stop infighting and paying attention to intelligence fronts and disinfo agents. They are more deadly to the message than outright enemies. Which is why they are getting so many celebs lately to go on talk shows and speak about Illuminati conspiracy theory.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

My Hardcopy Documentation From Early 2000's Conveniently Disappears At Ex Conpanion's Parents Home After Mailing

Yeah, scanned all this prepping for book.

Hardcopies got mailed from Dallas months ago to his parents house in MA. They texted us when it arrived. Now upon his return home its missing and they have no recollection of its arrival.

Probably now in the posession of some fed, psy ops a-hole or crooked cop.

Its not going to stop me BUT ITS NEVER GOOD FOR THE ENEMY TO KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW. Psy ops can be better tailored to a TI if they have such info or lawyers who are owned by them can prepare better to beat you if and when you sue.

I was a fool to put anything like that in the mail to anyone but my own mailbox.

He says its just lost but he has all the isms of a RA survivor and is in denial about alot of the world he lives in and his family. Either that or he is indeed working with the asshole police back in Boston as Id been warned about.l

Downtown Portland, OR-Another Cool City Ruined By Mass Mind Control

Left downtown for the day do errand.

That microwave tower there is kicking the crap out of my brain. Its very difficult to maintain.

It seems very important for cities now to keep downtowns and colleges heavily targeted with all varieties of controls and influence.

Something is still guiding me that leaving the US is really the only way to any happiness and relief.

Its sad that it has to be that way. Portland for all its being chill alternative and just Liberal enough without being Liberal elitist, is just another city under the rule of mind control.

The farther away from that microwave tower or any universities the more clear and normal it is.

They must go after students who show promise of being too brilliant and not controllable. Academics who won't follow the agenda etc. People dont realize workplace mobbing is linked to the intelligence networks and a much
bigger nastier larger system thats international.

I now often wonder why I was shown all this stuff why I experienced what I did for years if I am being prevented from exposing it all.

Downtown is just too difficult to last there for long. Other than that Truman Show Effect I have posted about there's also this constant and really annoying illusion that there is an 'eye in the sky' watching the area at all times -either some military satellite or drones or the like or a constant net of security cameras around the city that creates a constant monitoring of downtown.
All are technologically possible.

And the people here are potentially annoying as some crowds like on buses seem to be perps. The ride here consisted of me feeling alot of people on the bus watching me. I got the impression that they were perps and felt bad or that everyone realizes that i am getting worn down after years of this. They wanted me to either be put out to pasture away from society or they were contemplating just how much longer its going to take to finish me off.

The psychics are the WORST part of this. What's odd is there are strong psychics who seem natural and then there are thes people out in public spaces-they are weaker psychics so only have power in a group.

Psychics in groups are one of the major weapons against a targeted Survivor especially one they want to drain emotions from like after deprogramming they would wince when they sensed how much pain was in me.

Their job seems to be to drain the Survivor of energy to basically either kill the person or make a Survivor a non threat. Ib other words make highly intelligent crrative dynamos into homeless sickly people who are barely alive.

All they've done is make me into a psychic black hole who instead of producing energy now sucks the energy from anyone who gets close to me-another way of isolating the TI.

Ive felt their presence in entire neighborhoods IN SMALL MORMAN TOWNS LIKE GRANTSVILLE UTAH. LDS church is completely screwed up. There are so many survivors of RA and cult mind control who are now targeted from LDS.

If vampires exist then perhaps they exist not with fangs etc but in this form.

They dont scare me they just creep me out and piss me off with their intrusions.

Also this experience some Survivors have with these groups is one of the most unbelievable sounding compared to the weapons, chemical influence and psy ops. Sadly these groups are the hardest to beat for some reason.

Psychic mobbing-I dont even frickin believe it. Yet I have to becuz Ive experienced it. It makes sense when you look at a Survivor's non alien MILAB abductions. There are always groups involved not an individual. And the stalking and harassment is also done by groups of what we call perps.

So the psychic mobbing scenerio actually fits in.

I suppose lately they've got me with having gotten inside my head so far at this point my confidence is shot and I dont even believe myself anynore.

Pushing the idea i am insane and going for the belief i am totally discredited beyond repair is whats up now.

Why can't people just let me write my book and die in fuckin peace? Geez.
Its not that the public cant believe or understand its that they don't want to deal with what's happening to TIs.

The NWO and its deceptive use of torture, technologies, chemical influences and psychology must be stopped.