“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Monday, October 31, 2011

The Code Conspiracy-Movie Review


I dont think such information is exclusive to Israel...I do think that Isreal would want to make that the case however...and keep it that way.

There are a few actors in the movie..lets just say if youve familiarized yourself with Aquino, Hayden and other such people, it will be interesting to view thier faces and expressions. Very similar and familiar indeed.

Youll hate the guys posing as govt just as the actors were chosen to be repulsive.

Low budget but interesting. Being a TI, the private jet explosion scene, with figures in white robes will make your stomach turn...which is pretty hard to do to a Targeted Individual whos made it thus far.

Still watching the rest of it...
okay, watched it all. Aside from strikingly horrible soundtrack music, it was an ok movie.

There's a lighthouse where they transmit the disk from...its the exact color and similar to the one my now deceased paternal grandfather had painted, he is shown holding this painting in the obituary provided by an art club he belonged to. Its always hard to tell if these symbols line up with time by coincidence or as plants.

I recall a shelter I went to stay in near the Mexican border years ago. Not only did I have a recall of

Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Worst Of Afro American Culture Serves As The Strong Arm For The Elite


The public are losing these battles and ultimately the war. The worst of African American culture has been exhalted and spread across the globe. Liberals and PC types accept this behavior and cover for it regularly as protocol. Its accepted that if you are poor and white you naturally have to put up with or even be dominated by poor blacks.

Worse, the upper classes keep much of the African American population as house slaves to protect what is theirs and further thier agenda.

There is an entire sick set up here in the USA that has stood for centuries before the arrival of Third Wave immigrants, which I come from. Americans whose ancestors arrived in the US at the turn of the 20th century, circa 1900.

Its not a system that perhaps a person like myself could see clearly. Many Third Waver descendants are wrapped up in a mentality of competing with other Euro ethnic groups still. For resources, identity or dominance. African Americans were simply one of these groups.

The uprising of they and their culture, in the US and internationally is a sign only of the renewed power of their traditional masters, not of they themselves.

Stay away from black areas even inner cities unless absolutely necessary, or unless down South where segragation guarantees a level of predictability and safety-just dont go into an area where you wouldnt be welcome.

America has always had this problem if one reads history, however the authorities usually take measures to stop such uprisings. The question should not be why these things are happening but why are the usual measures NOT being taken to stop them?

People need to be dumbed down, intimidated and hopeless in order to be enslaved. These things are being allowed to get out of control. Just as Muslims in Europe are most likely being allowed to infiltrate society and interfere with European homelands and cultures.

These types of discontented types are being used as intimidation against other groups, races, cultures, classes etc in order to create a particular KIND of order.

It sounds like conspiracy but with all the anti terrorism available, why cant the authorities prevent home grown terrorism.
Only upper classes or whites whos ancestors were present for slavery have any involvement in these issues yet all Americans are being forced to deal with destruction, domination and a dumb down of culture from the worst of Afro American culture.

The poor Black community is the arm of the rich, elite-both legit and criminal, against other ethnic groups.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

What If..



Just pondering...what if.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Who Says I Cant Avoid Plotters And Use Them?

Hes still on the defensive and arguing trying to avoid dealing with his reaction.

It feels like typical pedo handler tactics. He claims he simply has a charge on his juvenile record, where he fooled around with two fifteen year olds, when he himself was fifteen. He claims that this was his sex offense charge, he claims he gets harassed due to this charge exclusively. He got kicked out of a shelter due to claims he was a sex offender. This is indeed what they do to Targeted Individuals.
I dont know what his motives are, but I dont trust him. However theres no reason I cant use this situation to get the protection I need and support to get things done finally.

It will still be a lonely life but at least I wont be alone.

Part of this recent disappointment from him is we have been resting up on his family's land and he has fallen into this total local idiot mentality as opposed to the rather interesring, detached hippyish sort of traveler I met orignally. Getting him away from his pathetic home town should do the trick.

Ill just have to remain friends and nothing else emotionally involved. Road dogs are always a good thing...Im hoping.

Another Leech Latches On

i am such a total idiot. I got wrapped up in this situation...this thing I wanted to be real so badly. why cant i just face the fact that the only people interested in being with me are pedos who want to get out of trouble or people getting out of jail or trying to get a reduced sentence, who become handlers?

No one else, no one sane or decent wants anything to do with me.

I cannot trust anyone. Yet I drop my guard nowadays becuz I have been left so alone and isolated. Basically an expendable, and people, the entire country really,have written me off and are depending on me fading away into old age and ill health, as if I NEVER EXISTED.

I hooked up with this guy, and I once again am disappointed. Hes most likely someone trying to get out of trouble by being with me.

It just keeps getting worse and worse, as time passes.

I will die still in total shock and disbelief concerning how badly I have been treated, how I have been tortured, abused and exploited but ultimately, how no one cares, the way i am simply ignored. Thats the totally unbelievable part. And I am not even allowed to write my story.

I now have to do what I can to get away from this guy...and he was going to be my safety travelling. But hes got too many bad behaviors, its turning into a babysitting job. He also seems too familiar with the situation, gs etc. So I explained basically what TIs know in summary, from individuals to mass mind control and he was far too unphased and especially unsympathetic. I am betting hes either a pedo or simply yet another nobody trying to make a name for himself by latching onto me. He commented before that he was part of the Illuminatis and his name has been changed to conceal his true bloodline. Stuff that seems like bait for someone in my position that is alone and needs help or a companion. Hes lovey dovey all the time yet when something like this is laid out, he is not reacting sympathetically. Also another red flag is he responds to any story I tell by telling me a story about his experiences, which is competitive, not helpful. It seems that under these conditions Ive been so pushed down into the gutter that I get nothing but trash now and have for some time now.

I dont understand why they keep TIs alive. What is their point? I would rather have been outright murdered like they do under normal circumstances, than live in the body and mind of a human being thats been twisted into a freak. I am basically a very damaged handicapped person now compared to what I was and certainly what I had potential to flower into being. Why would people curse someone to live as a damaged handicapped person? I dont understand. Why not just murder them in their orignal form?

As long as I am still alive I will never understand their obsession with keeping TIs alive and not allowing murder to take place. Under the circumstances its the most humane choice. Allowing a TI to become so damaged but to live on servrs no sensible purpose.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Henry Rollins-Latvian?


This might explain my great fondness for his work. And using him for inspiration at times. Latvia is right next to Lithuania, being one of my nationalities. His books did more for me in early recovery than the NA literature could have, to address my anger, isolation, hatred and mistrust of mainstream peoples.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Getting Ever More Impatient With Interference From African DNA

UNM library. No one dominates, takes over and then cant make any decisions on thier own like African Americans, especially females. No one guards the white man's interests, property and money like African bloods. Only a black woman can nowadays interfere with a younger white male's dominance to play Mammy for the power structure.

Since they feel they dont have the power to make decisions on thier own, they hold strictly to the rule of the authorities. And they especially love holding down other women who are also powerless over thier oppressors, thus spreading around thier powerlessness.

If I had known so many years ago that the blacks coming after me were merely house slaves, that they were simply trying to keep me down and immerse me into thier culture for the upper classes interests, I would have perhaps been alot more successful in taking on and fighting my oppressors.

Something has to be done to advocate for poor whites or non African descendants. I am here and so many Natives are just messed up. Its a Indian Nation spiritual hurt. They must learn to drink right from childhood.

The Natives I see that do well are Anglicanized. Its very sad. There seems to be a class of Natives that are working and functional but also have Native interests at heart and work actively.

What is striking is that the people who seem most disfunctional within the 'white' or European ancestery Americans as well as the Native ones are primitives. Removed from the modern world, the mainstream. Perhaps this is also the issue with African Americans, but that is no longer in my scope of interest. They seem to be doing pretty well all by themselves these days, and really only want to dominate the rest of us for the oppressive upper classes or play ball with the Man to 'get thiers'. Many activist minded African Americans are Afrocentric in thier goals.

Forget it. I am done. After the black community in Boston as well as other cities, even gang stalking groups NATION WIDE attempting to basically kidnap me into thier culture and keep me down for the powerful, wealthy factions of this nation, I am going to be forced to pretty much divorce myself from anything and anyone African in ancestry. The few that I meet that are civil and decent are so far and few between that they cannot make up for the House slaves, Mammys, the little CIA's and Mafia's bitches in the gangs (who wouldnt be allowed to exist otherwise), uppity blacks and the young breeds coming up now who have such an innate sense of privilege mixed with thinking they are gangsta or by virtue of being African in descent, all whites fear them or they are stronger.


I do wish that blacks had followed thier intended path out of the civil rights movement. The lesson is that nothing in this country is allowed to exist that is good or decent. Its all got to be managed by corrupt factions within the power structure.

Blacks are not strong. They have been allowed to be put into a position that gives them a strong hold for the purposes known only to the designers of social engineering- the elite, that run our world. It seems they provide intimidation, exclusion of underclass whites as well as still being controlable deep down as house slaves.

They are soldiers at the gate of the mansion, that is all. They are being allowed to take a position in society that keeps the rich whites safe from the ever growing discontent of the underclass whites.

I believe I have read about revolutions in Europe. I recall they were sometimes instigated by secret societies but all seem to hail from the pissed off underclasses. They now have thier buffers.

African Americans are literally suffocating underclass whites and helping, along with YUPpies to destroy underclass white culture. And its all for the benefit of the NWO.

And I am sick to death of it.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Attempted Assault of Some Kind, Bad Premonition

Almost just got robbed. Pulled a weapon that isnt usually a weapon. Screamed until they left becuz after I ditched being closed in on, one of the guys flipped out and tried to charge me, only the weapon and screaming made the little p*ssies leave.
Cops were called but I was cleared for self defense and not being local. And if anyone wants.to get cute with claims that I was flipped out for no reason, THE FOOTAGE IN THE CAMERA AT THE SITE OF THE POTENTIAL ROBBERY HAS AUDIO OF HIM SCREAMING AND CHARGING ME AFTER I AVOIDED HARM, which is when I pulled a potential weapon.

I had a vibe about this. I had a feeling I was in danger and also that someone was trying to set me up potentially.

There were other options much wiser to hang around tonight. Why did I not think clearly? Choose more wisely?

Becuz this is what happens over time in these circumstances. Your mind is on other things. I am so focused on my book, or other things I want to get done, that I dont live in the moment,sometimes not always.

I get this impression also that for some reason here on in, there will be more of these attempts. That the system will be closing in, trying to get me labeled nuts or convicted of a crime at least set up to look that way.

Ho hum, its back to the Bush years I guess.

That election IS getting very close indeed.

Some Interesting Reflections on Race and Mike Tyson

(dont get pissed off over this. Its what I use to survive. What else do you suggest? Its not like I have a normal life.)

A racial theory on Mike Tyson. Dont be so confident that only an African American man could be such a great fighter. Admittedly, African DNA provides alot of benefit for positive qualities. However, I look at Mike Tyson and as a 40 year old female, whos been looking at men and observing them all my life, men from different cultures and countries, there is something about Tyson that, in a primitive way speaks of a cold weather body. The body and moves of a cold weather born and surviving male. Women see men's bodies differently.

Most of the time watching sports I am not paying attention to sport, often I am observing the male physique, the moves, the energy. Something primitive whispers of looking to the winner for protection and or babies. The best of the tribe, somewhere in our far off past as humans.

Its certainly sexual depending on the kinds of men I am looking at, but its also perverse. Women may posses a sort of Roman obscene streak, to want to see the two gladiators fight to the death, perhaps it is just the Roman in ME.

I dont know what men think when watching other men in sport, especially one where men are half naked, bloody and sweaty. I know however, what women often keep to themselves. About viewing the male physique.

Something about Tyson's moves are, along with the obvious expression of African...seem quicker and more demanding of efficiency than a man born from a hot area of the world. The need for speed and exacting results.

Also, his features are curious to me, the build of his body and his facial features. There are a few stills, of showing him walking away after a knock out, the way he moves, the way he walks. His body language. I have seen this before, but where?

Viewing a few choice Black Metal boys from Norway is where.

I looked up Tyson as a surname. The last name Tyson is found in Sweden but also is common in Norway, spelled as Tysen. It is the name of a city and town in both countries. There are numerous people with this last name from these areas.

Like it or not I may not be gaining inspiration solely from our most distant ancestors from Africa but also from Norsemen.
Perhaps only in African form, with a tough Bronx upbringing can the ancient brutality of the epic Viking attacks be reborn.

This is to put down African Americans, its to show that within all of us is DNA that we might find surprising. The racial lines that have been drawn in our PC culture have only caused racism to differ, and be expressed in what is deemed acceptable ways, which are NOT acceptable.

Humans have to get realistic about DNA and where we come from. I think the biggest fear of the powers that be is that we will find more similarities or learn to accept who we are and appreciate each other as we become proud of what we are, in total, not arrogant about who we think we are, what the latest social engineering scheme wants us to be or think about ourselves or others.

Mike might be my cousin, who the f*ck knows??

Also his training was from Italians...am I making my point? There is no better race, simply people who excel. (Hmph, if only the system lets them.)

Anger and Racism From This TI..Like Any Other Over Time

I dont know whats up with the race thing lately. Ive just been pulled apart too far by African Americans.
I am on the verge of seeking out White Supremacists. Too much isolation probably.

That does not mean that, in my heart, I am not still routing for African American TIs like myself or thankful to the African Americans who have been helpful or inspiring.

Its very common for many activists to become so harassed and stalked that eventually they fall to hatred, strangely most seem to become anti-Semitic or against Blacks.

I know logically that the blacks I encounter are either perps or ignorant. But unfortunately, the conditions in this culture right now are producing alot of very arrogant, ignorant young African Americans with a gross sense of entitlement, which is poison to a Target who has been tormented and burned by blacks in an obvious organized fashion.

I admit that we need a bit of non Supremacist, non Separatist, non Christian white empowerment, in order to create a balance against the now dominant black culture and the ever dominant upper classes, but the anger I express is simply burn out from some very screwed up treatment by psy ops or black ops people and its hard to be any different.

I think also that the people who are behind this knew damn well what the mood and culture would become after Bush and during Obama and handled many of us as planned, in accordance with that. Now many of us feel that we are isolated, left behind by our country, our culture and our youth stolen from us. THEY KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN. And the current environment is perfect to make us feel left out and more picked on by a rising African America.

This is nothing more than just another trap for many TI's. Dont tell me Mel Gibson simply lost it on his own. Its far too common for any activist messing with similar types of power structures to follow this exact path. Seems far too coincidental to be happenstance. Becuz its not. Its torture and brainwashing.

Just another trap, another holding pattern, another holding area, potentially for TIs.

Dont fall for it. I know it sucks, but dont. They WANT you to self-destruct. They WANT you to be seen as a horrible person, a hater without cause.

Why Is Posting From Smart Phone So Lame?

Just look at my posts lately, for some reason posting on a smart phone is proving to be very isolating where as my PC posts are up to higher quality. The smart phone posts seem to reflect my constant suffering and nothing else.

People In On GS Attempt To Keep TI in Denial and Project Outcomes

Being in NM I recall in 2009 while here, what one of the staff Barret House women's shelter claimed was supposed to be the projected outcome of this situation. So right there, here is someone else admitting they are aware of a campaign of covert activity to produce an outcome to begin with. To covertly influence events and shift things to a projected outcome. Something about me becoming an avante garde artist after going through all of this. Lou Gheppetti that art professor I used to model for in 2007, who leaked me so much information (and then wouldnt work with me anymore due to his "guilt" as I had become suicidal). He also made that prediction, back in 2007. He claimed I would get my health together and then become an artist. He also stated very snidely "Not ALL of your dreams will come true Rachel, but some".
Actually with the amount of damage done none of my PLANS (not dreams) can be realized now. I cant exactly be an artist with a curled up half a finger thanks to Mary Holiday's dogs biting it off. I dont want to draw or read anymore becuz I developed floaters and other weird eye damage living in the moldy apartment in Brighton, MA. I can't do artwork if I cant remember , if my faculties are not as they were years ago. Most of all without the sensitivity I once had, art is not even an option.

What these people who obviously work for the system are trying to do is most likely foreshadow my writing an exposé about all that has occurred. Their trying to make it as if this will be recieved as a work of fiction most likely.

I dont know what they are doing or talking about, becuz on top of neurological damage I now have this pain that kicks up in very humid weather, worsens and ends up with internal bleeding from my intestines (yes I have medical documentation).

All I can do is keep moving to warm dry places and try to rest from carrying my pack as much as possible, which isnt much. Strangely, when I get a chance to rest such as getting housed and living normally as most people do, and not carrying the heavy pack anymore that is when the trouble started, but I was also staying in Dorchester, in the hood where I was getting heavy harassment, stalking and being targeted with some sort of remote influence that was as harsh as what I experienced in St Louis MO, staying at that hostel. Not since Hayden was head of the CIA had I experienced such intense torture.
Whatever this injury is affecting the intestines it stays dormant in dry conditions which is strange.

The gs system and its agents want to keep the Target brainwashed with denial and false hope while the person is actually slowly degenerating.

In the hospital back home I recall one of the nurses doing the typical bullshitting, trying to minimize or put a happy face on these horrible conditions, by smiling all fake and saying that my main health levels all came out 'normal' without any red marks and she specified that most people have at least one or two red marks. I have never heard of such a test and I asked for the documented paper results of said test and got no response.
Again this is part of minimizing as well as brain washing the severely retraumatized mind control victim into ignoring the fact that their bodies are slowly falling apart due to the physical stress and demands on their bodies due to being gang stalked and tortured.
The public may recall these are the same things done to torture victims in Gitmo Bay. Psychologists were present to help the prisoners through the torture. Which tells me those actions were much more than merely tryjng to get information-it sounds like a brainwashing program.

Damages Done Over Time Have Destroyed Memory And Sensitivity

I woke up this morning of course being hit with my situation. Just a year ago I never felt alone. I never woke up feeling alone. Always felt there was some force with me.

Now I wake up totally alone.

Also I am no longer sensitive. In AZ in 2007 going into Scottsdale I could feel something, a force there. The closer I got to Sedona, the more I could feel it. Theres lots of energy spots in AZ not necessarily like the powerful one in Sedona, (Sedona and Lourdes France are both the sites of earth's naturally occuring electromegnetic fields, which unlike man made emf, heals and nourishes.)
This visit I felt nothing. Anywhere in the area.

I also couldnt find my way around without my GPS and maps on my phone. Each city I had visited I had a mental map of, and this was quite normal for me. In each city I have revisited these last few months, I have little or no memory or recall of the big picture layout.

Something happened to me staying in Boston last winter. And alot of the damage to my genital sensitivity due to that skin thing I picked up in San Diego the winter before last seems to have alot to do with my becoming much more miserable, hopeless and less sensitive generally.

Its ironic that I did a few pieces on Female Genital Mutilation in African, Muslim and.other cultures becuz this is basically what has happened to me due to being sick for so long and afraid to seek medical attention, the damage done is permanent.
As posted prior I no longer even try to have intercourse due to since 2009, every time I do I get a bad UTI. This has something to do with gang stalking forcing me away from sexual activity for a few years. Ever since I became sexually active after being celebate for a few years there has always been some 'mechanical problem' with the plumbing if you will.
There also seems to be damage done to my insides from carrying a heavy pack for years at this age. Its definitely aggrevated old scars I had from surgeries and even an old hernia scar on my lower right abdomen seemed to tear or hurt again. That hernia was part of a double hernia from the age of eight!

I always tried to hide it but my stomach was always scarred up due to multiple surgeries.
Being terrorized by the constant harassment and stalking, having to live on the road carrying a large pack with other health issues at.this age took its toll.

These damages have addes to my sense of hopelessness and misery, but the lessening of genital sensitivity seems to be tied into my losing sensitivity in psychic areas as well.

I cant get the exact cause but it does seem something happened to me to further do damage that has dumbed me down, by staying in Cambridge and Boston through last winter.

The system certainly drove me nuts there enough to get all the evidence they need that I am nuts and a horrible person. I cant trace it.
The only thing I did there drastically different from.other places was take antibiotics finally for the vaginitis, and another condition i caught from a local named Omar. Who I thought was ok but he gave me a MERSA like condition, lives like a pig in a pig sty and wont go to the doctor for his condition.
I also realized that he was trying to get some cred.off of sleeping with me, and he thinks hes gangster hard which is the most annoying part of it. Lets just say he hangs out with too many people who ARENT Arabs and the backwards ignorance has rubbed off on him.

Anyway, I dont think this culture takes into account how important sexuality is. How it ties into so many other senses especially psychic ones.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Much Of My Campaign Is Familiar To White Supremacy Treatment Of Blacks..So Why Are Blacks Major Gang Stalkers?

When I skim over White Supremacy sites even the most hateful of them, strangely I often find many of the attitudes that gang stalkers have towards TIs, especially Survivors of mind control slavery, to be the same attitudes, sentiments and even proposed treatment of people of African ancestry or from Africa.

I even found one chilling post on a less political more plain hater site called CHIMPOUT.COM.

One of the creators of the site, Raptorman I believe, told of a scenerio that seemed to be making fun of what is assumed to be a 'nigger' acting crazy, yet it described the exact coping skill I used for years that, if cameras were put into my apartment back in Brighton, as its pretty definite that was the case, people would have viewed this activity.

Also, in the following post, we have a similar attitude to TIs, that blacks deserve "enslavement, medical testing or deportation".

What I do not understand is why such attitudes and treatment would be applied to a non African, and non Jew for that matter.
And if is truly connected to Neo Nazis then why would so many blacks be used as well as exempting someone like my old associate Julie who has so many Jewish clients from all professions?

For this to be rooted in Nazi human experimentation is one thing due to my mother's child hood status as an experimentee but to include and utilize so many people not of European descent doesnt make any sense.
The only real contact I have ever had with someone claiming anything to do with White Power was Mary Holiday, that woman from the conference calls on FFCH who claimed to be a Christian with no record but she comes up as a.multiple felon. She also had rebel flag shot glasses in her living room and said to me verbatim: "At least if you stay here you wont be being chased across the country by a bunch of niggers" . She also added " Its not many women who can perform sex acts and not remember them". (by the way, career criminals like Mary in the long run were more supportive, leaked more information out of guilt and were generaly nicer to me than your 'average' citizen in on this, professionals and especially ever arrogant city employees).
This same woman I watched in awe as she spoke to her older black female friend and claimed to not want to associate with a certain neighbor becuz she had used a racial slur.

What this means is that alot of people out there may have 20 acres of land like Mary and a good rep with the community but still be active in hate groups for personal gain or protection.
As for Mary's sentiment, I could not agree more. If whites are hiding out then so are blacks or Jews or anyone else as part of a special interest hate group.

I personally am most disgusted with the African Americans involved in gang stalking or who know about my situation. They are most arrogant, flashy, braggard, sexist and vindictive, mocking and its always a joke. The men are most guilty of this.
Needless to say that such brutal viscous actions towards a white woman make no sense , if this is truly from Neo Nazis or Nazi sympathizers. Especially towards a Gentile white female. Unless of course these are people who prescribe to Farrakhan who claims Hitler was a great man...except I am not a Jew.

Why would Nazi sympathizers and White Supremacists be into using a system to keep me down and drive me to suicide that heavily utilizes blacks and other ethnic groups like Asians?

The answer may be that organized crime is actually dumb enough to work together on certain projects.
Heres what happens when Italians start slipping from the old ways and thinking pc will work for them:http://www.chimpout.com/forum/showthread.php?33283-Mafia-making-Niggers-Good-in-Italy
Didnt think theyd turn on you did you?

From what I have seen Africans from all over the globe are partaking in an effort to dominate society, to take over power any way they can. Someone has to be letting this happen, becuz it wouldnt be allowed if it didnt serve a purpose.

How do you enslave mankind? You associate and mix all peoples with rhe most successful slave culture in history. Your work is basically done for you.

Explorer Wilkes


A ride I had played this as a book on tape, this man's major expedition.

He reminds me of myself. And this also shows me why its been so important to this system to induce brain damage and ensure I get no education.

I often consider that the greatest threat is simply my being female.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Just two years ago I was healthy. I recall I arrived at San Diego to spend rhe winter homeless in 2009. Somethng happened to me in 2010. It could be something that occurred while staying in Boston over the winter but it actually seems to coincide with the radiation fallout from Japan.

I am noticably weakened by this. There were two weeks there not long after it occurred that I felt really awful, real sick.

Now in areas of high humidity this intestinal internal bleeding issue is

Former Slave Labor Of United States Takes Precidence Over Natives

So lemme get this straight. I am seeing many more blacks in this major AZ city than I recall in 2007 yet you wont let Mexicans in and when they do get in they have to stand on corners and wait for work.
..yet this land is basically THIER native land.

Let no man say that the United States Of America doesnt consider first their house slaves and former slave labor, as these are less of a threat than the people they stole the land from.

What is wrong with this picture?

Now thats not fair, the central part of this area is packed with Mexicans but I rarely see any expression of Native culture like in New Mexico
Here in AZ the light rail they were building is now completed. The place sucks worse now as it feels like any other YUPpie city or urban environment. There are more blacks here than I recall seeing in 2007. Its probably the light rail train.

It could also be that they are being put in my path, especially the ones who make comments or act in annoying ways becuz the psy ops people realize thats pretty much the only trigger left to get me pissed off and.to react.to get comtinued evidence I am a horrible person etc.

The N word has now become my common response to black males anywhere at any time. Its always a toss up as to if its a set up or if its simply their bad behavior.

A black guy just stood beside me and stared at the shuttle stop until I gave him the finger and told him off, after moving.of course. He quietly got on the shuttle bus, which makes you wonder why he was standing around especially exactly in that positioning.

Just now moments later there were a large group of blacks getting on the shuttle and they were dressed ghetto and typically young and obnixious.

AZ isnt going to be spared. They will come in here the more leniant (stupid) and politically correct (brainwashed for self destruction) the place gets.
They come here acting like whites should be afraid of them, the.ones that arent at the college. The kids at the college.often look like they are picked.on alot.for being black which isnt right either especially bexuz they arent the kinds.who are a.problem.

Id have to say the first guy was a set up and these kids just now were coincidence.

See though what a great resource and medium blacks are for psy.ops.games?

Itll drive u nuts trying to figure out fools from operatives. The kids looked at my surprised when I gave.them the finger on their way out on the shuttle, which of course infuriates them becuz they cant use their standard intimidation and violence.to problem.solve, another reason poor whites are being destroyed if they dont take on the ghetto culture.

I do believe its time to create a safe haven for poor or any.other person of European ancestry, one that doesnt think Hitler was a great man and all that craziness you find when.looking through white special interest sites. No sexism or Christianity either, no manifest destiny crap. There is no shining kingdom to defend, just folk. And simple self.defense against the oppressive class holding power and their house slaves as well as any other invaders.

Targeted Means Your Actions Are Focused On Not Anyone Elses

I am now on a sort of free bus where i am gertting the ideation thst someone is looking at me in utter disgust (driver or perhaps cameras) and thinking there is that welfare cheat.

oh you mean like Olnick the company in NY that i sued for the moldy apartment that screwed me up for life- how they were using HUD money by giving Harlem politicians low income spaces to use as politicial headquarters? Which some wonderful faction or person was lovely and just enough to bust them for after they helped this system destroy my life?

Like my old associate Julia who pulls in wads.of money and probably has a million dollars stashed away in Florida with good ol' fat uncle Tex yet she was on MassHealth and so were her kids after she popped them out?
Or cheats like my mother lying about all those lawsuits? Or like Jake robbing the copy shop he worked for blind so he could do his and other band's graphic design free, trade that for drugs and sell that to get money to suppoert his band?

Or like Sheryl Rosenburg who comes from a loaded and obnxious stereotype Jewish family that has her kid on SSI supposedly, even while they buy her new cars, he attends Berklee school of music and her ex husband also supports her and the only work she does is to sell properties for her mother?

You in the rest of the country don't know much about the northeast do you? Basically you are taught to cheat the system since birth, firstly becuz it keeps you out of the affluent people's hair and secondly becuz its considered slick organized crime like behavior to be smart like that. Trying to earn an outright honest living in Boston is impossible unless you are already backed or wealthy and know what you are doing in business.

To be TARGETED means that you are picked out of a crowd of people and whatever the smear campaign will comsist of most likely the people around you or the culture you come from or the region you live in others are doing that too or the mindset is a common one. The smear campaign will make you look as if you are Cain and invented being corrupt.

And in a country full of weak minded, spineless people who refuse to really stand up to corrupt authority, becuz it might affect thier Disneyland vacation and daily fantasies they unconshusly live in, you will be a focus for the People.

A bunch of abused children who either cant stand up to the abuser or agree with trading masochism for material gain.

But again, America did not become a bunch of dumbed down ghetto worshipping, slave culture imitating, YUPpie naive out of touch losers just on their own.

Theres so much electromagnetic and microwave AND chemical interference with America's population, they cant help but behave like animals, as they are daily treated like mere animals.

America used to be a great country, a culture. It is now a great Mall mixed with a YUPpie style living space, all with a corporate prison feel to it, with perhaps a few remnants of its true past culture remaining, to sell the old AMERICAN brand name of course.
There was an article in a financial paper about late 90s. A financial advisor, Byron Wein made a statement that embarassed his firm. He claimed that in ten years, Europe would be nothing but an open air museum.
This is now what America feels like. This has been planned. The evidence is all there especially if you look back into the financial world. There are academics who will tell you how this has been a long time coming financially. Its been set up long ago. But the news talks to the American public as if this information does not exist.

The American public in many ways are akin to Targeted Individuals. They have been taken hostage and isolated. Terrorized and then brainwashed, now denied the full opportunities that should be allowed to them. Kept down.

And the obsessions with technologies are in part what has us isolated so. The music now bringing in the worst of the ghetto culture with a style of rap that is made purposely to get the listener used to the idea of being cold hearted. The rap coming out since the 90s has musically been constructed to remove care and entrain humans to be less feeling. The rap and hip hop now is completely all about removing emotion from the human heart, training the person to be cold hearted.

This was the price the house slaves have to pay to 'get theirs'. If they had not helped the CIA sell crack or fund Iran Contra, they never would have been allowed to rise in power. Read historically what has happened to African Americans attempting to do so in the past.

Sub Saharan African peoples, always seperated from the classical ancient world by a massive desert, have always been enslaved by others. It isnt right and I dont believe this is their purpose on earth. They also had some decent culture over in Africa, Amastaad being an example of that. But the American African has been so mixed, so displaced, so abused, so bear down and held captive for so long that they are constantly in danger of falling back into slavery. Gone is the struggling civil rights black American where other peoples were also struggling. They now seem.completely out for themselves, and you can thank the knuckleheads from 70s feminism for getting suckered into defending ANY man when it should have soley been about women.
Yesterday was awful. By the time i left that college area it even felt like Armegeddon. Blacks and Chinese young people mostly were the ones doing things to make fun. People would walk by an laugh a bit or a black kid would point and say "what is SHE doing here". some very old tactics were tried, like from 2007 but they were pretty easy to ignore.

also when people mocked me, the student types, they did so like trying to convince themselves i wasnt a threat.

i simply slept elsewhere. screw the college area. i notice nationwide colleges have alot of perps and are managed with tech.

Probably wanted to make sure the kids didnt give them any trouble during all these screw ups which are really to bring in the NWO.

And since the anti drug culture has arisen, they can no lomger do what Nixon did, fly in pot to keep the students quiet. (That story comes from a man who claimed to have flown the plane. My uncle-in-law used to sell him pot. In fact that uncle knew alot.of people like that through his drug dealing. People that broke down govt computers, people who were supposedly targeted by the CIA. Why were his connections like that?)

I havent done any decent blogging since i was in an apartment with a laptop and that place in Dorchester MA was so heavily targeted I lost my mind (more evidence for them I am nuts I guess). Boston is the absolute height of scum in this whole thing. One of the worst cities around.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

TIs Exist Isolated and Alone and Die Still Suffering Their Wounds

Walked with my back pack all the way to supermarket. When checking out I was watching the MK Ultra #10 video on my mp3. This light skinned black guy behind me, looked like a senoir in college or very yung professional , caught him looking with suprise and amusement as he looked at screen. I looked right at him, he was caught off guard. I called him a house slave and that hit him and took away any power he THOUGHT he had by being in on this. How many assholes in this country are in on this anyway?
I cannot believe I was born into a country that hates me so much and has used me as a human sacrifice at the end of my life. Its ridiculous that someone with this much potential lives in the street and will die in poverty.
The world needs TI testimonies. They need to know that whatever America once was is no more. Its a cavity thats been invaded by parasites and now lives only as a zombie, the most vile people in existence hiding behind "America", treating it as a brand name.

This country is nothing more than a formerly great product bought out by scum corporate and then run as if it were still the orignal.

Its like even bothering to buy Chanel designs looong after the great designer herself has died. Tacky people buy into these kinds of styles..that and Gucci (augh). The Gucci family hasnt owned the brand for years yet we still see people selling it as if its something special. Special can no longer exist in a corporate culture. People dont realize what is being done to humanity to ensure corporate think takes over the human mind and spirit not just the lifestyles we live.
Its already happened and we now have an entire two or three generations that represent that decline in the awareness of that happening. The youngest generation born native knows nothing about the times that came before. They know norhing about true freedom and are comletely formed for the NWO. All the system has to do is continue to keep us quiet and targeted until we age and die.

The mind control, individual and en mass has now come to a point of controlling its subjects completely.

They are desperate to keep people like me trapped in the USA so that we cant go to the rest of the world and tell them how right they are about America.

People just ignore me when I walk past, I mean they often look, seem to realize who I am and just turn and pretend I dont exist.
Like I said, how many scumbag citizens are in on this?

When I die I know I acted as a true American, not a citizen of New America, the total scumbag nation. And I want out of here so I can be free to tell my story to people who will be more than happy to listen not ignore me. There are places in Europe where people have permanent anti Bush era sentiments and its going to remain that way, thus they are anti Amwrican. Obviously like the rest of us who refuse to give in to the false timeline thats been created, they are holding onto the truth- the genuine timeline that was supposed to exist. I dont feel like by all logic I shoukd be living on the streets with no way out, no legal recourse and with most stupid people believing I am merely mentally ill. Yet the forces that make America what it is do this all the time.

The disgusting covert stuff you used to read about that made way for the USA to be the power that it is, has now gone technologically advanced as well as space age if you will. Scientists boast all the time about how sophisticated things have become...(yet people still sleep in the streets...hmmm) and we then assume that classified projects are even moreso. Timelines can be altered and thats all there is to it. And I have lived through the horror of what that entails. Before I die I would dearly like to know what that burning sensation is when one comes into contact with certain extremely nasty types of gang stalking perps. Its not like any of the weapons youve ever experienced. Its not akin to being microwaved or any of the other tech or chemical warfare either. Its almost unearthly. During Bush I started to experience reality as quite unearthly, especially from 2007-2009. Those were the worst years. They were different from the more occult like ritual abuse I experienced during the early part of Bush. It wasnt occult in nature, I wish it was becuz that is easier to deal with and understand.

And for the rest of your life you suffer from coming into contact with whatever those forces were during those years. The burning stays with you as part of your nervous system. Its what permanently separates you from humanity until death, its what keeps you insane. Locks you into a.permanent state of semi insanity. Its what makes you feel like you are walking around still burning, its akin to a chemical burn but to the mind, heart and soul as well as the spirit within. Its as if every moment of your waking existence you wake up to being chemically burned and it doesnt stop until you can finally sleep at night.

Being targeted you are forced to not say anythijg about it and live in silent torture for the remainder of your life.
Being programmed one can at least comlartmentalize it and create another reality to live in..but in reality, the real you and your situation has suffered these things in real life and that real you is still living that chemical burn sensation as well as the mind runs memories repeatedly daily.

And you wonder why people snap? I beliece alot of these people have been so tortured, so pushed and pressured, and most key is INDUCING BRAIN DAMAGE. My theory from experience is that its more than just torture. Its the brain damage that along with the damage to the spirit that eventually causes uncontrollable violence.

You can destroy any part of the body but the greatest living horror for a human being, that literally destroys THE PERSON within is damage to that one specific organ, the brain.

And its one thing to be kidnapped off the streets and detained and tortured. Its quite another to make someone feel that their own country, thier homeland and their fellow Americans are the place the torture takes place as well as the people who are doing it.

TIs have lived a greater horror than any genocided Jew, any victim of torture at a prison camp, any prisoner. These people all had one thing TIs dont have: companionship while being destroyed and murdered. Or the comfort in knowing that you are dying in an enclosed space but that there is freedom outside if only you could escape. Having the idea to hold onto of a safe place outside the death camp to escape to is what Targeted Individuals do NOT have.

My mother said once that my situation was terrible becuz it sounded like "no place is safe"...then of course she helped them with their campaign by turning on me , pretending she never abused me or knew this was indeed a campaign of harassment and tried to suggest I was merely mentally ill like my father. (who was only labeled mentally ill due to going around blabbing that my mother and her family were involvrd in a secret project involving the CIA and military, which of course basically sums up MK Ultra, the CIA end and the radiation experiments shes a documented experimentee of, the military end). They all thought this was going to be so nice and neat. That it could be finished up so quietly and so easily. Hell as far as most of these scum are concerned, its done. I lost, I am controlled. I now live among a population of people who handle me and watch out for me but cintinue to be dishonest with me to keep me brainwashed and silent. To keep me living in the alters I have created to deal with how traumatizing this has been. How many truckers arent just doing a different kind of work as perps now, simply by warching out for me now thst I have become incapacitated and so braindamaged that I often cant remember what i did thst day if someone asks how i spent my day. or last week. I can't remember if i ate a meal or not but try to so i dont get fat from eating out of forgetting.

Many of these truckers have been severely screwed over by women and fit the profile for that kind of perp as a motive. Also one.of them the other day over the phone told me about his ex as he often does and that she was beauriful but her family was screwed up and he ended by saying that some family lines should be ended. Like sterilization in Eugenics.

Strangely many of the truck rides i get are from guys who are compelled to tell me all about how rotten their wives were to them. I of course suspect these are people in on this much of rhe time but moreso look them over and wonder about them being child molesters ( they always have at least one really screwed up kid) or other bad traits that perhaps got them into such a mess, or perhaps that they were just to naive at the time to do anything about it.

I think men make much more dangerous victims than women do. Men form hunting parties and brotherhoods over such things....women are left alone to die, isolated with such wounds.

No one cares of course and the greatest cover for a war crime and human rights abuse is making the victin out to be, in the end, some washed up older woman angry at the world . It especially helps if, like in my case, u make her out to be disgarded by a male figure so it looks like a bitter divorcee situation and it also helps if the public percieves shes been disgarded also by tge male authority that runs society. In a malecentric, Judeo-Christian 'king' worshipping culture , especially one turned away from woman's power by running to the king and his men for protection from scary terrorist goblins and other various seld styled bogey men, what more could you ask for.

The secret to the Mona Lisa is simply deception as art.
Duh. Now get with the program and wake up so my suffering isnt all for not.

House Slaves Getting Thier Payoff For Thier People Seen Nationwide

I am in Starbucks in a college city in the southwestern USA. A typically red state, a circle of college students are listening to a young black male, hes the center of attention. The young whites are listening to him. Hes planning a film shoot. He knows nothing about the state and asks what its known for. He talks with a strong Ebonic accent, almost southern. He then makes many comments throughout that reminds one more of a black caricature with watermelon and tap.shoes than a smart, upwardly mobile black male.

One of his comments was about not wanting to carry a chair down the street out of a (secondhand) store, and made lite jokes about it not looking right, and that the SWAT teams would probably be called.

This scenario i have seen repeated over and over throughout the US. The white affluent classes are more than happy to work with up and coming African Americans, foriegn born ethnics more so than deal with anyone white who is of a different class.

In Berkekely, some of the old timers were saying that the lower and middle class whites are kept out of the college, becuz they would "realize their situation".

This a-hole gets to make guilt inducing jokes light heartedly yet he gets to go home to a place probably has a car too. I still live on the street.

I am SICK AND TIRED of living among this little relationship that rich whites have with their former slave labor or any other ethnic group they feel they should be helpful to as long as they dont threaten their position.

And as far as whites in power using underhanded methods to secure that power, I am tired of a nation to brainwashed and naive to realize that African Americans in large part are, and always will be what Malcolm X referred to as 'house slaves'. Ensuring that no field slaves escaped so they could continue to enjoy their own heightened status, as well as guarding the white man's riches, power and possessions for him.
There is a reason that blacks are security guards much of the time in the US and it isnt just becuz they cant get anything else.

Its been very smart of this system to keep trying to make any of us fighting out here to look like 'lone extremists'. This is the relationship the whites in power have always had with blacks and its the base of the Obama Deception. Even black militants agree that Obama is just furthering what Bush started.

But no one cares about that. All they see is a world that looks less and less racist and provides more ever growing opportunities for non whites.

There is the world of the resukts of covert actions and then there is the reality of what really goes on to secure a high quality of life for some Americans.

Most people are not interested in the realities and are happy with the results. This in itself is a hand in hand relationship with the innately corrupt power structure. And its what the bad guys bet on to keep victim witnesses marginalized and not believed.

i have come to realize that the only way anyone has ever succeeded in this country without being a criminal genius themselves, is to kiss the ass of this messed up power structure.

I may tap dance a bit and smiiiile around my watermelon when I panhandle but I dont base my life on it. And I never will.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Gang Stalking Seems Tied Into Cities and Towns Gettin' Theirs

Isnt that nice? This city, which is largely responsible for destroying my life and aging me and taking away any future I might have had, now has a light rail system and looks more and more like a "modern world class city" (code for obnoxious, gentrified YUPpie hellhole), than a city that once looked like it should: American. With its own history as part of a unique region.

Gang Stalking people is very tied into cities getting things like this built. Funny how durng Bush so many cities got nice new digs. .i stil live in the street

Friday, October 7, 2011

Sensible, Sucessful People Fear Corrupt, Omnipotent Power..Unfortunately I Dont

Geez, Steve Colbert keeps having military on his show. Its always seemed to me its so that the show doesnt seem to Leftist. He did that hysterical vid on living in a policr state during Bush.

The way the military reps talk about what is going on youd think there is no corruption, no misdeeds, no abuse of power and especially no covert ops that are an intricate part of the designs that create our world.

Its interesting to see someone that confident and with an ability to insult people so methodically and efficiently be humbled by anyone.

People really are afraid of messing with the military. Strangely the way the special forces officer was speaking was with the sense of power over society and the host he's speaking to as the Catholic church rep who i posted interviewing Bush. That vid I posted where the creepy host asks what Bush sees when he looks at the Pope and Bush answered 'god'.

There is something eerily similar to these two powerful men's attitudes. And interestingly two people I never expected to see grovel, have done so in the presence of two representatives of these age old power structures.

Its sad that, being born into this, basically thrown into this mess, I simply didnt understand what was going on, didnt know I was supposed to be afraid, cautious...ass kissing even after being f*cked over, abused and exploited.

Its too late now. My life has been destroyed. I simply dont care.

This kid from Berkeley told me the scars on his hands were from his dad stabbing knives through them. I asked why he would do such a thing.
He said he did something that caused the cops to show up at the house. His dad was a heroin dealer and didn't appreciate this. He looked at me and claimed this is when he learned what happens when you mess with the wrong people.

I thought for a moment and disregarded it. I woke up to this situation essentially. I do my best, what I feel is right. And now that I have grown to 'know better' its too late to turn back. The right thing still needs to be done. Finalized.

(as I wrote this, browser froze up as if often does. So it took since starting it at around 11:15 or so until 12:08 am. Need to note that I felt a complete relief, a drop in anxiery, worry, mental fog....I looked at the clock it said 11:30. Exactly. I soon womdered why I had wasted my day doing whatever when it could have been much more structured and productive. I also would like to know why I posted so much. I simply cannot get anything meaningful done and keep focus. Its obvious why.)

Birthday Mess/Red Mass

Theres this ridiculous story about a birthday party that my ex Jake had at his rehearsal space. The wanna be band kids decided to somehow get the cake to slide down the hallway. It was a mess. Jake whined to me like he usually did, that Drew had HIM clean it up.

I saw the former manager of the place, Anthony a few months ago and that incident was what he used to describe the way he remembered those brats while renting space there.

Scott made some references to The Sound Museum, like some covert filming was going on there.

Hey...thats right. I now recall that at Sam Brody's alcoholic dad's run down house in Newton, I once saw Drew over seeing what looked like an ametuer video or film processing operation. I asked what it was naively and Jake asked sharply " Well, what does it look like?". I didn't ask anymore questions.

In case you the reader dont know the connections, Sam Brody was not only a drummer and friend of Jake's but was the kid he got busted with in the parking lot of that club. Sam is also the grandson of Barbra Pettiti, the land lady of that building where musteriously broken pipes eventually led to my apartment becoming moldy, makinv me sick.

She is also the person who had the building in the name of Warren Hall Trust with her Newton home address as the trust's address. Which she liquidated real quick and relocated to Wayland almost as quickly, when I began proceedings to sue Warren Hall Trust, Hampton Management NY owned ultimately by Olnick in NYC also.

Years later someone did the decency of busting Olnick for using HUD funded apartments to rent out to black Harlem politicians for their political offices.

Gee, if yer gonna embezzle or misuse govt funding, you may want to fix things wrong witj the apartments so that tenants dont draw attention to your scams(duhhhh).

And these are the criminals that Mitt Romney helped and approved of..becuz it obviously doesnt matter how you get rich....as long as you are.
That is what Bush is sponsoring for president in 2012.

I am sure MA for the first time in history will be colored red in history books of that election..kinda the way one can look at a graph for the year of the Kennedy election in the 60s, and see NV colored all blue which was unusual for that usually red state.

Helps to have friends in organized crime I guess.

Visions Of Jerks Dancing In My Head

Why do I keep getting flashes of vision, that are of my ex boyfriend Jake's friend and bandmate (guitarist) Drew Shadarway? Like it happens alot sometimes, like somebody somewhere is trying to tell me something...like that person is key somehow.

Thatz interesting and all but my mother's status as being a documented radiation experimentee connected to MK Ultra is alot more compelling than anyone involved in the cover story back in Boston.

Why is he so key to all this? yeah he was miserable and jealous that his best friend, Jake-the quintessencial 'fat kid' finally had a looker for a girl friend, and then probably blamed me for everything else that went down, like all those rich kids did out of convenience.
He used to get this groupie bimbo named Ingrid to horror show Jake at the night club to embarass him, just another way of keeping his exploitable friend in line I guess. Hed stand behind the bar with a perp-like smirk. Hed refer to me as "fancy pants" under his breath bexuz back then I was still young enough to look good dressed up. Real mature choice of insult huh? Real sophisticated.

Sounds like baby talk. Gee youd think his dad being a big shot Arab lawyer, and being the attorney for The Middle East rock club (where Jake got busted coincidentally) would make you a bit more dangerous in the verbal skills area.

So much of what occurred was centered in Newton.

Newton can sink into the earth and perish as far as I am concerned.

The real reason for me being targeted is so much more compelling, much more serious and scary than a mere tantrum from a bunch of screwed up rich kids (including the Pettitis) from Newton.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Smear Campaign After Leave Berkeley-Dont Even Try It

I let go of this aquantence of mine who had moved out to northern CA from Boston. I saw her a few weeks ago. Dint like the fact shes on a bunch of meds and is big into Big Pharma and psychiatry as well as letting the system take care of all her problems for her.
She in fact was in a program when I saw her. She also told me she was in recovery which i didnt realize. i never knew back in Boston she was smokjng crack frequently. I cant tell with that drug.
The people she was with spoke about someone they knew in a manner that bothered me as in relation to activism such as mine. I added up the factors and here we have someone in trouble with the system due to drugs, in recovery, in an institutional program and trying to get herself and her boyfriend into subsidized housing. I had been througj this before when this turned nasty and 24-7 in Boston. People who messed with me or interrigatrd for information got housing in the blink of an eye. I myself was bribed with housing if only I would take on a severe mental illness label. Michigan where the harassment was very nasty almost as bad as St Louis MO. This was NOT someone trying to help, it was an overt bribe to shut up about what had been done to me to silence me as well as keep me silent.

When I visited this aquantence recently, she had me stay in a shitty hotel room with a fat older black woman who got so drunk every other night she would call my aquantence and not know who she was talking to or where she was.
This unpleasantness was in Hayward CA. I stayed there one or two nights and then she declared she wanted the rest of the time to herself before her family picked her up to help her out. Some of us are actually homeless out here without families except for other travelers. On the second night this woman Susan was drunk and I simply handled her like any other drunk but its not someone I need to be locked in a room with. Out in the street you can walk away its different.
A day or so later I decided to tell my friend I woukd no longer contact her due to my activism taking up my time, we had little in common and the sensitive nature of my activism was about to get perhaps more heated. she then texts me telling me that Susan claims I stole a dvd player from her room.

I have a solid track record ofNOT being a theif as my m.o. Its not what I do. I may trespass but I dont steal. Anything I pulled in my twenties, a few things at one point whn I was probably incapacited by drug use doenst count.

I am too preoccupied with my work to steal and i stand out in a crowd anyway. I am too weighed down to carry a dvd player from Hayward to Berkeley.

I also noted someting Susan said to my aquantence when asked if she wantrd to move in wirh them in an apartment. She said that Willows CA was too far outside the city and she didnt want to deal with "all those white people". Good for a one night to stay while extremely tired but the whole time I was kicking myself in the ass for getting into that situarion and reassessing my aquantence's judgement of character in the people she chooses to associafe with.

If any of this goes any further with messing with my rep I will put the fat drunk's phone number out there so everyone can see who and what she is. After dealing with my old associafe back east for years , I think I have done my time with fat, mind gaming drunks..whom by the way played mind games that makes all these other clowns look simple, which they are.


I left Berkeley due to it becoming a bit cold but also due to past mold exposure as many of you know, my health is damaged permanently and humidity means suffering horrible nasal headaches that go up inside my skull it seems, excrucuating day long headaches. Also other health issues have arisen that are very disturbing such as that pain on my right side which has something to do with the internal bleeding I had. All I know is the wrong climate makes it hurt more. I dont want to get medical attention firsrly becuz I am afraid of more harassmnet and secondly becuz I believe it will require surgery which i cant deal with as a scenario of my allergic reactions causig a complication in the procedure. I just cant deal with it mentally or emotionally right now. Where am I goimg to recover, outside on the street?

Heres my position on this: no more surgeries i have suffered enough due to my mother's radiation exposure, years of endometriosis surgeries, only her and i having this condition. I also would never seek chemo or any treatment for cancer. That book will get done and that is my main concern. My life has been ruined and everyone insists on continuing to act as if I dezervdd this. The system keeps trying to get me to buy into any and all smear and blame the victim so that I will finally submit my Will to authority, even if that authority is corrupted.

Besides alot of the media psy ops put forth contained the idea of my fighting till death, instead of my taking care of myself or fighting back through proper channels. This has been to create a kind of suicide bomber, the book being the bomb essentially.

They know they can take a person with suicide programming and torment them into expressing that this way instead.

Aside from the psychological manipulations involved in this campaign, let me make this clear again: you get in the way of my work or make me feel its threatened in any way whatsoever, yer gone. Its simple.
I wont tolerate being around that.

I also left Berkeley becuz my squat mates on top of the weather seemed to become more miserable to deal wirh as well. After I got wet while asleep from rain coming into the squat I wanted out. I dont have time to deal wifh daily inclimate weather in a place like Berkeley where there arent any resource centers to go inside to continue work and activity. No college computer access anywhere, no Women's Center like in Cambridge. I just dont have time for the bullshit. I am thinking every day about my project, everything else is incidental or a pleasant diversion.

Once again the main question is who can you trust?

Lodi CA Terrorist Plots?? wtf


If the fbi or any terror elements are still there, that may explain why it feels so awful for a TI to be in Lodi and why it has that 'occupied by the enemy and u can feel them but cant see them yet 'quality to it.

Had Enough Of Bay Area Social Dynamics/ The New Set Up Is Just Another Set Up

Had to get out of there. Socially the dynamics were too different than back home, yet Berkeley isnt different enough from back home to be somethng I could get used to.
Poor whites have even less power in Cal than in MA. Street blacks would practically demand to be interacted with and if you quietly told fellow travelers that you only deal with other travelers the native homebum would give you this glare as you walked away. It was worse than possible violence...it was intrusion. And being burdened with someone simply expecting something from you. It was domineering male tactics. Not happy with any of it. African American males around the Bay area not only demand attention and simply expect to dominate the psychic space. As bus drivers for instance they simply expect to be heard, understood and heeded even if communication required more effort due to a patron being from out of town. It was a sort of slow moving, sloppy arrogance they were far to comfortable with.

Back east a driver may have a bad attitude but then its expected that the public of all races would possibly think he is a jerk and say so or deflect his bad attitude with one of not caring, due to ultimately he being a service person, the only thing buying him any power in Boston at all is his ties to the black community but especially he being part of a union. However, any sign of such a person being unprofessional without him covering his ass to get away with it would be fair game and a sign of a vulnerable spot.
Here, they simply expect that people will put up with laziness, rudeness, moodiness etc. In Berkeley and surrounding areas like Hayward and Richmond. Even this attitude comes up out north and east like Lodi. San Fran proper seemed more attuned to providing a service as to be taken seriously.

There was no place i felt comfortable and safe from other classes or ethnic friction other than around Telegraph, the main little area for travelers and hippies, street kids etc.

This is the down side of forced diversity, political correctness etc. The very idea that one has to divise a system to basically re arrange society to seem more fair and just shows there is something wrong to begin with. Human beings can develop along their own lines and free association produces communities and groups of like minded people.

No race, class, religious group etc should be forced through intimidation to claim to like another group. This is also unrealistic becuz not everyone of one 'race' is going to be like minded. Also much within these ethnic groups that is negative is being ignored as well as the fact that the racial measurements are grossly inaccurate. We would all need DNA testing to actually prove what DNA is within everyone of us.

These systems that run society now, of dividing people on lines of 'race' or class have actually created more racism and division as well as practically wiped out the culture of poor to middle class peoples of European origin.

What they have done simply is re arranged society to now cheat a demographic they feel is expendable to help another rise to power. Yet notice thst its never at the expense of the designers of these changes in society, who go home at night to nice neighborhoods where they dont deal with the consequences of their actions in any way.

TIs Must Not Faulter Or Give In To Continued Pressure To Accept Thier Situations

Some wanna be Latin bitch argued with me about a seat some guy saved but I took by accident. After me calling her out fr being a wannabe moron and using my best Boston sailor mouth, she cu the shit and i ended up talking to that jail lookin guy who turns out to be from Louisiana orignally with people in the Islands. Hes nice actually, and yes i was right about his status.

Its hard after years of experiencing covert warfare, to trust any given situation.

Its so much a part of the past now, it almost seems like I imagined it.

This is what the system wants, is for the TI themselves to either officially or secretly, privately accept they simply 'went crazy' temporarily or had a psychotic episode.

But one must remember that is not logical in relation to current circumstances. You have to look at your life and ask 'how did I get here, how did my life end up this way?'. And the possible answers still point to suspect circumstances.

Why would I never have gone this insane or had a break with reality before the last ten years? And isnt me having a decade long psychotic episode a bit of a long period of time? Also to have such a thing happen during a federal onvestigation of a powerful, untouchable madam who was a friend for ten years...and the worsr of this situation ONLY occuring during the Bush administration and overlapping with Hayden as head of the CIA during late Bush, early Obama-that time frame being the absolute worst for experiencing torture and other horrors.

One must always ask how did one's current situation come to be.

The answer cannot possibly be that its merely self induced or a bout of temporary insanity.

The current administration, even the world would like to forget it seems the various war crimes and horrors that occured during Bush and continue now.

Daily now I consider the loss of my youth and all my assets such as health, strength, looks..the opportunities I could have had.
This is part of the ever present slow brain wash to attempt.to get victim witnesses like myelf to forget what really happened.

And activists must remember our obligations as citizens and part of humanity to reveal to the world, anyone who will listen, what we have experienced. To forget about one's self and remain true to the larger cause.

It would be very easy to write this off as imagined or something i experienced as a temporary condition of Bush or the organized crime syndicate back home. Most people I encounter seem to be pushing that as the reality. Its not. We are victim witnesses and deserve justice as well as have an obligation to reveal what we now know. My mother's sentiment such as "No one is going to believe you(if you write a book)" is the anchoring of such doubts. She planted that seed in 2006 and the system works off of that, now daily.

It doesnt matter becuz SOMEONE will believe me, they already do. Also there are others with similar stories not just Targets but Survivors of mind control such as programming. This was an attempt by her to isolate me from other activists and survivors of both mind contrl and gang stalkng.
The system seeks to always do the same.

Interestingly, a high percentage of what is done by the gs system to me are tactics that were part of my mother's method of control over me as well as my family's dynamics. Perps I ended up trying to rent from in the past also started re creating those dynamics almost immediately after I would move in.

Bus Still Not Boarding An Hour Late

the bus is an hour late. maybe they are perping it up. theres already some jaik lookin idiots looking conspicuous ans stupid. one annoying goofy black dude and a tattoed wigger lookin jerk in a black track suite. well i guess they arent really from jail then, if so they'e scumbags in there.

i wont tolerate any nonsense on this trip either

maybe they're perping the bus up real nice for us TIs before we board. these delays don't bother me anymore. i know that if it is gs related that they just want to make it harder for me to travel with less daylight.

security did wake me up, catch me off guard and ask me where i was going as opposed to simply asking.to see a ticket.
after posting that, i have had no problems..YET.

interestingly skmething in the terminal feels like it shut off, something that was making my sore spot in my abdomen really hurt. that area where i had sharp pains then.internal bleeding back in boston.

its the main reason i left the east coast. i dont know what it was but the comditioms in Boston were degenerating my insides it felt like.

the further west i went the more it improved. it started up again in berkeley a few days ago so i am outta there.
if its not some sort of tech causing it, could it somehow be linked to humidity?

all i know is that after that last post it ceased, that area being irritated.

Taking A Bus Short Travel And I Know It Will Be Perp and Drama Free..Better Be

riding bus. used debit card even used debit card to see how stupid perps are. no MILABs, no hatassment, no weirdos, no situations, no covert annoyances that seem like normal life. No directed conversations, no disturbances, no asshole bus drivers, no filming, no crying babies...no gang stalking. i do not expect any crap whatsoever resembling the nonsense during Bush. no people waiting for me at stops either, unless they are covert about it.

The security guard has already power tripped by playing the psychological break down game of harassing me into telling me where i am going. he wasnt satisfied until i agreed with an answer je made up himslef just to get him to stop interrigating, becuz i refused to give up that informaton.

the security guard has no righr to badger me into telling him my destination nor does he have a right to even ask. he is also playing wierd sort of stalking intimidation games along with that qiestioning, though mild it was definate.

he then leaned on the counter and chatted with the clerks.

i am forty now and you took the best years of my life away with these bullshit games.
anymore crap like this from any employee of this major company and i report or sue or i can find out where the f*cker lives...perhaps where his kids go to school.
this isnt a fuckin game for your testosterone driven egos. i will fuck some shit up this time, understand?

Its not bush anymore and i am an old woman now not a confused young lady. i can film this bs and u dont neeed that now after that driver being filmed using a smart phone at the wheel.

the public are sick of the abuses from buses etc done under the excuse of 9-11. alot of these types of workerd just abused the public witj gross abuse of power.

no more bullshit. i expect a ride thats normal and someone inform that third world sexist f*ck to act professionally before he learns the hard way what Boston means, what Italian means and what programmed means.

The counter guys are nice, guilt probably who knows who cares. im too jaded to trust it or give a shit.

i nap before i leave and i dont expect any weird occurences with that either.

Right? You bet..

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Why does every area outside Berkeley suck around here?

Monday, October 3, 2011

Mixed Population of African Americans Take Some Getting Used To

This area is confusing. One minute I am telling off an entire street becuz black males young ones wont stop this nonsensical predator bullshit where they swagger by and lean a bit into your personal space. Being from the northeast I have two reactions. I really do not care if you exist or not or I want to reach out and grab your throat and ask you what the hell you want.

Anyway, the next moment I am in a diner where very civil blacks are spotting me forty cents on my coffee, in an unbelievably civilized manner but NOT uppity.

This is going to take some getting used to. I think I can narrow it down to the problem being caused by young males. People out here think I am younger anyway.

It could also be psy ops. Lots of gangs in Cali and enough dangerous wanna bes to definately cause some problems. O have experienced the wanna be population of various cultures out here. A certain faction i wont mention (clowns) they buy a lot of stuff like knives and dogs and scary clothes but they lack whatever ingredient is present in Chicago, Detroit NY or Boston becuz they would get themselves killed back east. The disease of Wiggeritis is rampant out here and they should really create a vaccine for this embarrassing condition....embarrassing to everyone but the person who suffers from the cult brain washing condition I suppose.

God damn Dark Ages. Europeans are so damned trainable now.....thanks a lot Abrahamic religions and Church burning and torturing people for a good 1500 years. Ironic that Christians died and suffered for their beliefs only to become so worldly and political that a few centuries later, people would die and suffer for being suspect of NOT adhering to their beliefs. This is what happens to every good idea or human attempt to create a better world. It gets infiltrated and turned into something very different.

I am writing this to make time for this area to settle down. It seems the crazies are gone now and the young men who believe it is there charge in modern society to impress all of us with their dominance, which of course is just obnoxious uncilvilized overbearing bullshit.

Get a belt, pull yer pants up unless you are actually poor enough to have older brothers give you their clothes....and stop encouraging a culture of European DNA boys shaving their heads, you and the military obsessive culture have ruined my forties.

Just another reason to move to Europe I guess.

Leaking Info Is Rewarded

Whenever I reveal information I feel rewarded as if that is what I must do to make this stop. I also get the ideation that my mother and her brother, both in on what went down in MA anyway, are somehow pleased when I am broken down to reveal information.
I always consider that these are false deceptions put forth by the tech used in the gang stalking.

I also feel like I have been trained by years of humiliation, torture and rape to be bonded with my captors, especially via daily having interfacing that puts forth the deception that famous or important people are suppoerting me or with me or sympathize with me on many issues I go though or think about during the day.

Due to the combo of rape humiliation and torture as well as bonding and my being kept from a normal healthy sex life, as well as basically isolated, I get a slave like sexual charge from giving up information. Its sickening and degrading but if one does not take proper steps, one can fall into this total mind controlled state of mind, such as not masterbating or having sex regularly. If the TI doesn't take charge of their sexual energies and Willfully guide that energy mentally and psychically, the system will use it to enslave you, control you and even cause you to become aggressive enough to act out or depressed enough to suicide.

Sex is one.of the number one keys or actual physical points on the body to access your Will power. Its one of the keys to mind control obviously used so much in prison camps, etc.

It would have been easy enough to just ask me or subpeona me, why the need for years of torture?

If they wanted J by now they would have busted her. Nothing I say is truly of any consequence, its all about trying to gain confession becuz this is one of the steps in cult mind control or brain washing.

It also proves MK Ultra works to make certain kinds of people reveal info eventually.

Misconception That TIs Are Weak People

People believe I am weak. If that is so then why can I continue to not sell out to this system, function, travel have an alternative life to being a TI as well as do activism?

They know thst programmed people who can compartmentalize things can take inhuman amounts of abuse, that's why they do.what they do.

Still, people are treating the Survivor like a slave.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Many Media Personalities Who Act Out Psy Ops Programmed Themselves

What is going on here? Not all but a number of people who have been involved even briefly with doing the media part of psy ope or mind f*cking Targeted Individuals always end up screwed up like this.

Is it an act? Like a schtick? Like, you realize your acting career is not going to last much longer so somehow theres a planned downward spiral for you that's orchestrated and makes the most of waning years of youth.
Is it real? Do these people sell out in hopes of getting something and then they have gotten themselves into something they cant handle?

Phoenix himself and his siblings are all Survivors of childhood cult mind control. I recall the cult to, from the 70s. Very creepy, even made its way out to MA. Something about little kids, sex and God. Like everything else back then it was veiled kiddie porn, very on the borderline. A little kid on a hook I recall a cartoon of a child or mermaid on a large hook, as in get kids to hook for a God or some such nonsense.

Considering the circumstances around Jonestown who knows how many of these cults were CIA connnected or human experimentation further into mind control.

Thats why part of me has been EXTREMELY TOLERANT of every idiot involved in this, from my own mother to Jake to my old business associate, people in Narcotics Anonymous who helped Jake and his industry friends, their people and all the show biz morons in on this which simply just connects to my old business associate, Jakes connections and the mafia/underground in general. I know damm well that alot of these people are so sick themselves that they either cant help themselves or they are literally programmed slaves themselves. I personally know of the sexual history of the key people who betrayed me-all victims and two of them are programmed, targeted and controlled for life.

Look at the people who take part in the media psy ops part of this. How can one take that personally? His brother died becuz he wasnt old enough or able to face or understand his own history, so why should any of these people fare any better? Its like in order to stay famous, you have to stay f*cked. Stuck at this level of spiritual maturity.

Such a mess of programming being triggered has occurred since Bush got into office and 9-11 unleashed circumstances that provided cover for everything from human experimentation to human sacrifice by proxy and even using the technologies available, to a clean up operation of whistle blowers and left over MK kids who would have proven 'inconvenient' in future.

Its been horrible and I have seen every programmed person from cult to Satanist to...so many people just come out of the wood work and act out accordingly. I can usually see signs of childhood programming and its most of the people in on this.

But I often wonder if THEY know that. Do they understand the context in which they do as they do, or are they genuinely acting out of total ignorance.

Sooo many sleepers have been awakened and so much damn Satanic programming's been triggered.

Its been one shitty era I'll say that much. Awful, really really awful.