“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Afternoon At Mex Border Gives Complete Relief From Being Targeted

Had a nice day on the border. I got hard to find candy and my companion got a cheap  man-purse.

Nice to have some time off from having my mind constantly pumped with the idea rhat Robert Deniro and Ice T and Coco read my blog religiously.  I am realllly sick of the Deniro ideations.  Doesnt he live over in Italy or something? Probably trying to avoid all the nonsense over here.
You have to wonder how they pick the list of famous people the system is going to fool you with.
The Coco one is really odd.

Seems the system has been using images of the celebrities I looked up on the internet last night.....BUT IT WAS ON MY COMPANION's smartphone as I turned mine off last month! (Hes got the renamed Nextel owned by Sprint now. Lets not forget the repeaters on my building in Brighton MA where I was terrorized and hit so heavily in 2002-2006 were Nextel.)

I was looking up plastic surgery before and afters which I find therapeutic. You realize that everything that looks perfect is an illusion and also I realize that I may have aged and become deconditioned but what I had was from genetics not a surgeon. It makes this system in fake America with all the average citizen perps seem even more flawed, pathetic and powerless.

So the GS targeting system has been tormenting me all day with illusions of psychic contact or impressions from celebs on a regular list but also some celebs from last night's photo look ups.

People might say its my own mind playing tricks on me but if that were so then why, once again, does getting out of the city limits of an area stop such illusions from occuring?

This afternoon and evening I felt.as if my identity had been returned to me. My sense of self.

I keep looking at Mexico and wondering oif over therd or in any other country is there a place fre of this kind of torment and harassment? A place like the US border areas and highways between cities and towns, where this system seems to drop off or be completely non existent.

Or is it only on the in-betweens that relief is found?

Friday, January 18, 2013

SoCal Severe Mental Beatdown Now Closing In For Kill After Medical Procedure

Had procedure.wish docs would've told me i needed rest afterwards and to not carry a heavy back pack.

The system in SoCal seems to be closing in during this weak period od mine.

The main focus of behavior modification here seems to be to make me accept i am old sickly and have lost to this system ans to not waste my remaining years trying to to get restitution revenge or justice.

There's alot of pressure, an immense amount of pressure here to conform and compete or keep up with Thw Joneses.

I cannot lose my grip here nor during this physical weakness.

They r making sure i cant depend on certain sleep spots by sending people to harass us posing as property managers in Hillcrest where cops said was city property called Westerns district today closed will call Monday.

Interestingly western district includes every area where gs is very heavy. Hillcrest and OB.

Nowhere here is safe stable or manageable anymo

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Ocean Beach Very Difficult Area To Stay In/SoCal And Truman Show Effect

The reason i dislike Southern California is becuz there's alot of Truman Show Effect in this location. And consistent daily illusions that famous celebrities are either interacting psychically with the Target or the TI somehow gets the repeated impression specific celebrities are routing for them, feel bad for them.or are helping them somehow.---------

 Interestingly there's no such interface or contact from other sorts of VIPs such as political figures or titled people.or the very wealthy or powerful -just famous people. No support from normal people etc-just entertainment celebrities usually actors and music people.---------

I left the area due to this effect being so oppressive in the San Diego area.-------

I went up to Bakersfield CA and there was no such effect. In fact Bakersfield is a conservative town and the first thingI noticed were how many sherriff cars there were and different kinds of law enforcement.---------

 I got more done here to regroup and create a plan of action in a few days than I ever could have in weeks od being in SoCal from L.A. southward.--------

For all the cops and First Responder scum who are in on GS around the country it seems that legit law enforcement actually support fighting this system.--------

 Its a struggle to b here in Ocean Beach. Firstly theres something about this part of San Diego thats very physically unhealthy and I dont know what it is. It might b left over from the days when this was a meth ridden biker hellhole but who knows. Its deceptively hippyish-lets remember just how much military there is in Cal.

Let me give u an example of how ridiculous the ideations are here.

 Upon arrival into the L.A. area I got the ideation that Sharon Osbourne wanted me to finally get my life together if I visit here this time.

Tonight I got thw ideation that Dolly Parton could relate tme and sympathized.

 Today I had the impression that the singer of Metallica felt bad for me as.I was tired sleeping on the beach today. That blonde guy who plays guitar.

The list goes on daily...its soooooo annoying becuz I know its total bullsh*t. Moreso thats obvious becuz this consistent intermittent interface only occurs IN SoCal. Bakersfield had no such effect.

I have a few important appointments here then i wanna leave. I must say I a getting more important things done here and now however but the mental and physical toll is high.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Torture Ceased After Post

All that horrible torment stopped after i posted last post...btw this area seems to be much less damaging if u r housed up. it requires alot of rest and healthy habits. i am always dry here even with drinking water. Ivr never lost focus so easily before. this area has something about it that beats u down to conform by making u care about what others think of u.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Getting Hit And Fried Almost To Death In Ocean Beach, San Diego, California

Been harassed real hard to try to get me to reveal my location it seemed. I resisted but for safety I am revealing location and what's been going on.

I must rest now, got inside for nite. Tell all later.
Starting to lose grip here. Just self injured in shower to set myself straight again. As in hit so hard with tech which includes feeling monitored thru the ceiling here, that my internal programming reacted by one alter stepping up to take charge in form of threatening the life of physical body if gives in any further to the remote influence which includes brainwashing, going blank like drooling idiot while being totally controlled and dictated to.

After this i was braibwashed with heavy remote force with the ideal that the US and military industrial complex are an empire now one that rules like Rome did (i feel monitored and interfaced with even as I tyoe this now. Someone seems to be rewarding my revealing how I feel by sympathizing with me or creating this illusion. ) ....that America is just like ancient Rome. I found myself forced to mentally recite that even though America like Rome may be wrong and will perhaps not rule forver that the time i live in has America as this empire ruling the world. And that I can't fight an empire that big or vast was part of this idea, the military industrial complex being part of this power structure.
As this progressed to this point I felt a distinct break of my Will power-physically located it seems in a human's heart or chest area-where one's emotions are created, felt etc.

It was a definite forced submission. I felt something being lifted from my heart area-my own life force or power it seems. A distinct ideation came at that moment that I wud have to give up part of myself literally as in the lifting of my lifeforce as well as in my deeds and actions-to this New World Order. The aforementioned power sructure.

I felt 'broken' inside if u will. The way it is when u 'break' a person or an animal for domestication or slavery I assume. Its impossible to do this easily to me becuz of internal programming and due to my mother trying to break me emotiona

(had to switch browsers. Default tried to destroy this post by freezing the page from saving or posting but I learned long ago to copy cut then just paste on refreshed page. After publishing what u see above, browser crashed completely and then became difficult to type with.)

...emotionally trying to break me (and succeeding once). I learned how to repair these breaks. My mother only succeeded once and it should have been permanent. This emotional experience literally feels or is the physical internal sensation of something in the core of the person breaking. Snapping. The way a 2 x 4 or this board wud after enuf pull.

Its repairable-you simply dont accept the break. You reject it. After this experience especially in spirited and strong youth one should for the rest of one's life be able to reject any and all future attempts at 'breaking' one's spirit if you will.

The last part of this experience that I started to describe was that I wud have to be content and accept being a small part of this much bigger world now and that my needs or former losses were not important, and of course ending with the same old crap concerning conforming, getting on with a normal life, forget what happened, dont seek to sue-etc etc etc.

Ive been suicidal here twice. Which is unusual for me even considering my circumstances. Mentally thinking of it only but thats unusual...for me to be that depressed.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Once Again The Public Are Arrogant Scum

Aren't they sweet? The mob of sheep, they consistently think they're smarter than me...its so precious. And its not going to last long either. The only thing the idiots are.going to be able to do is ignore me. Its all they are capable of to protect their culture of corruption and greed. Daily its only the nice people who pull me through. The cool people and the kind ones. Except the morons who hande me by smiling in my face and pretending they dont know who i am and all is normal. I often wonder just how many of these people know the entire truth like about the war crimes involved and mk ultra etc..or if they r dumb enuf to actually believe its about some cover story or that i was duped by powerful criminals connected to that cop scum in Boston. The FBI has got to be one of THE most crooked agencies going now and has been for years. Knowing the American public's motives for going along with anything like this wether they know the whole truth or not is basically their desire to preserve the American way of life that satisfies their greed, vanity and basic needs, its not surprising these animals Ive had to encounter over the years are such self righteous pigs. The country has become a disgusting indecent corrupt corporate shithole for decades now and we all shud know that. Terrorism just gives Americans an excuse to stand by that culture of corruption and act as if they r the victims instead of the worst country on earth. America was, once, a place one could truly respect. Fear is not respect. Fears is what criminals induce in people becuz they know obviously they r wrong. For anyone to be against me and on the side of whoever is responsible for my being oppressed they wud have to be the biggest cowardly assholes ever. People dont mind if the criminals now run everything overtly-as long as they can pretend America is still great and they r in the right. Look at all the people who helped destroy my life-they have normal lives or they got rewarded. Ive lived on the street for years. America sucks and its total scum. They are so fuckin arrogant that i had kids years ago telling me that everyone else wud move on and out of this i wud b a "contraversial writer". I dont want that. I want justice, a payoff for damages and total revenge. Fuck being a contraversial writer. That equals alot of work for no kind of life. Who the fuck allows a mob of people with war crimes involved to dictate someone's future? I want what was taken from me and i want revenge. There are alot of other countries out there. Places that know whats going on here. Theres no need to be controlled by the arrogant, average nobody scum that is the American public.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

No More SoCal/No More USA and No More Dead Weight Traveling Companions

I cant possibly deal with someone who isnt serious about fighting the NWO. Someone who isnt out here for a noble cause but becuz he got in trouble for something. The compromise necessary in order to have someone around for mere companionship and safety isnt worth it. Not if they aren't going to help fight the oppressive culture out there and only live to just get their own needs met. I'm going to deal with any and all harassment now in order to stay somewhere free of cost and finally leave.America. This horrible country doesnt like me and I dont like America. Southern Cali is a shithole. Its all oblivious YUPpie scum and really poor underprivileged people they ignore. They r total assholes. I now understand the riots, the gangs, the Panthers and the anger. But they make sure they have plenty of cops, military bases and intelligence goons and House Slave Mexicans and blacks to mind their little empire for them. Forget going after NY...waste of time. SoCal needs to fall into the ocean by any means necessary. Even NorCal is ridiculous at this point. All these places have been infiltrated and I suspect always have been. The 60s probably came about by design not chance. Its horrible here. Im escaping tonight and never want to see or hear of SoCal unless someone tells me its been bombed to hell or an earthquake via natural causes or HAARP I dont care which, finally snaps this piece of garbage into the ocean. I now understand why California produces the largest amount of serial killers compared to any other state. Pure frustration along with the total oblivion and arrogance of its population. Im giving myself two months, then Im leaving to find somewhere without any Abrahamic religious nonsense or other unpleasant influences. Theres got to be a place just for the folk left on earth. That doesnt tolerate being invaded by the cancer that IS American culture. I'd even join a White Seperatist movement in Europe becuz of all the immigration destroying my ancestral homelands-being an advocate of Europeoples in the USA isnt appropriate due to the land having been stolen and the Natives basically genocided. Mexican tribes lived in SoCal partially so while I dont like them for their house slaving for the establishment in the US now I can't advovate to keep them from what was originally their's as indigenous peoples. I know people in other countries gang stalk as well and they wont like me becuz I am an American. Yet there's enough anti-Americanism so that an expat who left due to horrible conditions of oppression here might be a desirable victim-witness to America's corruption. If I am also written off as mentally ill over there too there still might b enough anti-Americanism still for me to find an outlet for my hatred of the USA without doing anything violent. Working against the USA through anti American policy from abroad might be enough to satisfy my hatred and vengeance. So Cal is the perfect example of whats wrong with America. The entire culture typifies the waste, greed, isolationist American culture. Horrid new money snobs that make any decent Bostonian prefer a cardboard box on the street to their lifestyle representing 'the rich'. Ive never seen so many ugly people, plastic surgery victims and ugly, old, flabby bodies stuffed into what I assume are expensive clothes. Learn to dress appropriately for your age and body types...augh. Some of it has just been horrifying. Id rather be f*cking poor and from Boston. Assholes dressing all edgy looking homeless but they drive a small poor man's Lexus. Ive almost vomited a few times at the sagging asses and tummies stuffed into tight riding pants with high boots..and a nose job of course coming out of Horton Plaza. Their inability to mind their own business shows they havent been rich for multiple generations-hasnt anyone ever informed them that NOT drawing attention to something is the classy thing to do instead of staring or worse yet, staring then making judgemental faces. Mostly people who look like they harbor Mex descent somewhere. And Ive had enough of uppity Mexicans here to last a lifetime. They're disgusting really. There are more pure Mexicans who are very nice and earthy but the Uppity Mexicans are just intolerable. I do believe Ive had enough of everyone's bullshit in SoCal and in the USA generally.

Harassment In Hillcrest CA

The latest tactic to get us to leave Hillcrest in the past few days is to have seemingly random people walk by our sleep spot all night long and make noise. Last night it was people asking the time or wishing happy new year in that snide perp style. Who wakes up sleeping people to wish them happy new year walking past? Its causing sleep deprivation in me which i assume they are eager to get me back to the level i was before the recent two day rest. Its probably easier to to have a Target respond to remote influence if they are sleep deprived. Gonna start filming people going by doing this.