“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Friday, December 31, 2010

Virtual Handlers, Diana Napolis and Star Market Cambridge

I cant stay here but the influence here keeps manipulating me into staying.

Went into Star Market in Cambridge, near Central Sq which by the way is one of the worst places for remote influence I have ever been in as far as a store or falsely created, insular indoor environment is concerned. Thier logo is an upside down 5 pointed star so go figure. They were always popular in Jewish areas I believe so could be pro Israel- CIA/Mossad friendly dont know.

It has gotten so bad in there that I actually have filmed while in there just to get it down but also to see if that changed any of the conditions.

During the summer I could not go in that store without within minutes, starting to act out with either talking to myself or singing along with my mp3. I also felt very intimidated by thier security system, the cameras in dark bubbles on the ceiling. Its one of those places where one gets the feeling that someone is definitely watching through those bubbles. Like a network of something.
I countered this by filming very conspicuously with my video camera and documenting that I felt I was being hit with someone unnatural that made me act out in the same way every time I entered this building and patronized this business.

Lately it has not affected me the same way but I still feel very very watched but recently I feel its very Truman Show-ish, with an audience watching. Mostly famous people which is actually a frequent problem.
I feel judged and there is a definite interface of some kind.

At the checkout tonight I was obviously depressed as I have been for days now, this being New Years Eve one of the few holidays I actually like in the year, the other two being Halloween and my personal birthday (Ive read this is very typical for RA survivors). I got the ideation very distinctly and it was very much introduced from an outside force, that its just desserts as I had spent so many New Year's Eves young, beautiful and having a very good time in the past.
That I needed to have this happen to learn what it was like for less attractive, socially connected or smart or talented people and what they experience in life like having a bad New Years Eve. That this would make me a better person that I needed this to happen.

I then got a very vague, murky and quick flash of Gene Simmons and was given the idea, sort of like it was from him, that I was going to be somewhat famous soon.

Believe me if I thought this was mental illness driven I would be the first one to take medication due to wanting to get my life together and move on.

The reason I do not is that it is so obvious its tech driven as this only happens in certain buildings with tech systems in place like survaillence or security or certain distinct areas of a town or city. And each time I frequent that specific location I get THE SAME RESULTS EVERY TIME, or results on the same KIND of activity. For example this summer my mood and most likely other biochemical state was very different than now due to season, also I have no other travelers around me now and home bums, even the youngish ones are usually depressing as hell and not as freethinking or into taking action to get things done or amuse one's self. So I am very depressed due to social reasons and season.
So my reaction to the stimuli in this location (Star Market Cambridge) is different becuz my outside circumstances and other factors are different. But the fact that I get any stimuli at all that makes me react in any way has NOT changed and it is still only in occurence when I enter that establishment until the moment I leave.

Also I do not want to take medication due to obviously my recent allergic reaction condition where I cant take any pills at all and can only eat certain foods.

Also after being exposed to mold and being made so sick by mycotoxins my body seemed to react to medicines in unpredictable ways alot of them negative so psych meds are not an option.

Even if I wanted to take them to stop the affects of what I KNOW or by logic one could deduct are the effects of gang stalking syndrome, brain damage and tech being used to induce such effects, I cant now due to health issues where medication is not very very dangerous.

I am actually severely depressed due to what seems like the allergic reaction condition as when I have a more severe and prominent reaction, I feel normal and 'alive' again as I did before my original anaphylactic shock due to Bactrim in Dec 09.

The being 'haunted' by celebrities or other prominent people is something I dont write about as it seems like the best way to look totally nuts instead of targeted. However I believe this is a mechanism of the induced Truman Show Syndrome that many TI's talk about.

I also note that in the past it was attempted by commenters mostly on YouTube to accuse me of being an erotomaniac. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotomania

The reason I also do not believe this is true is that erotomaniacs often truly believe thier delusions and act on them, whereas I have never stalked anyone. Also I have never had the delusion that anyone famous was in love with me but I note that this system (between the times of 6am and 12 midnight) pushes celebrities prominently in its content.

The purpose of this is to not only make the person seem dangerous and a possible stalker but note that many lone shooters acted on being erotomaniacs or to impress a person of fame. The guy that shot Reagan (with ties traceable to Bush of course) said he did so to impress Jody Foster.

This is a very dangerous area and its so cliche with people snapping, lone shooters and stalkers that its obviously a mechanism of targeting either Survivors of mind control projects or programming who the system wants to use one last time as well as get rid of- permanently.

Also note that Diana Napolis was driven to insanity most likely by being targeted and driven to stalk and harass Michael Aquino as well as after that start targeting celebrities who she believed were involved in her campaign on some level.
Diana Napolis was a Ritual Abuse councillor who was outspoken about discovering these crimes early on in the 90's.

Why she did not understand this is standard psychological warfare by a system such as military or otherwise with unlimited resources and trained to have NO CONSCIENCE at all I do not know. Perhaps she had no military experience or family backround as well as the time frame was early on in this war so the system was obviously smoking out its potential targets with a false campaign of discovery, therapists coming forward and eventually leading to the Pres Advisory Committee which tied up and ended the human experimentation end of the issue, then the False Memory Foundation disredited RA survivors and thier memories which tied off that avenue.

Picture it like a little pond with various waterways coming out of it. The objective is to block off each waterway in or out so that the water is then totally contained and unable to be accessed. that body of water IS the reality of RA, human experimentation, programming and mind control projects as well as the use of technologies domestically and abroad and they'd be screwed if anyone should put the whole puzzle together.

What I experience first hand is the methods that are used to make people go insane, to discredit whistle blowers, to make people snap and act out as lone shooters, suicides, stalkers etc.

What prevents me and should assist other Targets is the clue of it obviously being technology. Why would true mental illness depend on location or time frames? What mental illness now has a schedule? And its something that the psychiatry people cannot explain away but I bet you they will sure enough try at some point and if it doesnt make sense they will shove it down society's throat.

Also note that this system of ghost like entities (supposedly celebrities or other people) interacting with the Target serves as a powerful conditioning tool of call/return, rewards etc.

Famous or important people come to replace the real people that used to be in the Target's life. Those people were important to the Target but now the system holds them in isolation from their old meaningful ties and society in general so replaces that social support system with important people from the culture the TI is in.

This is often used in the context of a Truman Show like scenerio and sometimes its not so defined as such.

the idea that the person is being watched at all times provides a strong control over the person. being watched all the time takes away privacy and we know from reading history that is one of the key ways to control a person especially with brain washing tactics or torture.

The idea is to have these 'important' people teach and care for the TI in replacing the real people in thier lives that should have been doing so. then the person is less anxious about being in contact in such a manner with strangers becuz often Americans feel that celebrities are strangers that we know or are at least familiar with.

What this sounds very much like is the Asian popularity of pets made up of technology that people are charged with caring for or a game like Farmville where one cares for virtual pets, except its other way round where virtual people care for a real person. Any system that uses technology to train the population such as Farmville is totally capable of a more sinister use of such methods and technologies.

By the way this process does not occur in every city and it does not occur when I am with other people only when I am alone. It usually occurs in big cities like Cambridge, San Diego,etc. Boston to an extent but not so much. This did not occur at all during the much more active harassment during the Bush years.

Note also that Diana Napolis had many of the exact same thoughts that other TI's have. What mental illness is THAT in detail in its specific 'delusions'? Its obviously a well used and time tried system that psychological warfare victims are subjected to.

Its very doubtful that Gene Simmons has access to some secret satellite hookup where he and other bored rich famous people watch a certain TI constantly as well as take part in forming thier lives. I mean its possible that some such system might exist for bored rich people with weird fetishes and fantasies about controlling people and it would be like an inverted Farmville where real people presented virtually to a human 'pet' care for and help form that person.

Its possible totally. With the tech that exists and the weird motives of such a population. Remember the Pink Floyd song from The Wall album where one of the lyrics refers to "keep people as pets". There was always rumors about bands really liking places like South America where it wasnt a big deal if groupies 'disappeared' at all. LIke I said its totally possible.

However, the idea that such people would have that much time on thier hands is totally NOT possible unless they have given up thier lives to thier obsessions.

Its also marketed to the TI that such people are in psychic contact with them, and of course this is only between the hours of 6 am and 12 midnight.

It would be interesting to see if the bastards have tried to use doubles as was one of thier favorite methods during Bush, to make me appear a stalker. For some reason I am protected from many of the same fates as other activists and for that I am thankful.

So that is the torture I go through mostly everyday and when its not that content its re running memories over and over of various moments of gang stalking or betrayal also I believe from experience this is tech related as this does NOT occur during off time which is from 12 midnight to 6 am approx across the USA.

Which means that many soldiers and other suiciding from PTSD could be being induced to do so by a system of tech fused with psycholgical warfare.

-victim witnesses to war crimes
-frees up money from supporting vets medically and other needs during lifetime

...and yes the people behind this system are that ruthless..believe it.

Always focus on the logical as well as the fact that deception is THE number one strength of this system.

The Fallen: A Touching Yet Unrealistic Portrayal Yet Again of The Police Culture

This must have been what the firemen were doing putting the flag half mast in Harvard Square. What about 'the fallen' who are victims of thier 'brotherhood's' corruption? As for myself I dont see any mourning of my ill health or lost life. No one even acknowledges that anything happened to me or that I am alive at all hardly.
The Boston Globe front page had a pic of their white gloves clasped behind thier backs. Just like the goddamn Marines my grandparents were in. Which of course led to my mother being a radiation experimentee.
The Marines have a special interest group at al times. My mother after starting to crack from the pressure of being targeted, started to show signs of becoming brainwashed as in heavily identifying with the aggressor. She started to read Leatherneck and stick Marines stickers on her car. She always said Semper Fi to former Marines she encountered mostly men from what I saw (due to her understanding only males as authority). The poor thing was scared to death of my grandfather until he died and then I dont know what the hell was in her mind, she just snapped and got really evil.

The police are also a special interest group at all times. They define themselves as a "brotherhood" quite often. They speak of thier 'brotherhoods' dead as if they were angels from on high, as "fallen". Does that mean a TI of thier covert aggression and illegal, unethical activities is also 'fallen', or just disposed of as we are inconvenient to thier long term agenda or the agenda of the groups they truly serve in the USA, and its the same around the world in countries like the USA. In more corrupt countries thier corruption is more overt.
They are in a union as employees yet are government employees. They have ultimate authority and very unfair advantage over people outside their 'brotherhood'. Since they are supposedly civil servants no one dares point out that their actions are quite often akin to military aggression and corruption.

I understand that the officer who is 'fallen' was not involved in the psychological and intimidation campaign that has ruined my life. He may have been a nice person or even a stand up guy when it came to corruption I dont know. My issue is not with the death but with the portrayal of the culture, especially since Bush where far too much authority, power and money has been handed to this faction without proper checks and balances in relation to the increase of that power.
But before you shed too many goddamn tears as well as internalize the newspaper article's obvious subliminal attempts at continued intimidation by portraying the police as a close society that you have to ass kiss, worship like god-warriors from on high, as well as fear not and hopefully that will brainwash you into respect along the way...before you fall for the continued image making machine from the media here is something for you to read today.

You can admit that these bastards are human, corrupt and capable of more violence, crime and viciousness with cold hearts than other human beings outsider thier 'brotherhood' of privilege and special interest or you can continue to be dominated by a mostly male cabal of career criminals how play both sides to retain full control over society.

How many Targeted Individuals will get this treatment and by the way we may work just as hard as they do and have to and be just as abused as they are without any acknowledgement, reward or most of all a brotherhood to pick us up off the battlefield like Valkyries when we fall.

This isn't jealousy, that never was my style. I was beautiful, intelligent, talented and driven. There was nothing I could not have had if I wanted it. These f*ckers helped take that away from me. My anger and venom are justified and everyone knows it. TI's everywhere are justified.

Remember that next time you kneel down to brown yer nose or kiss the ring.

Whats the best part of this page? Not the bake sale but this from 'Filming Cops' on FACEBOOK (iLike it now).
"COP CRIMES Weekly Roundup – All of these events occurred just in the last week (October 6-12, 2010)"

They are the last people who should be judging how severe harassment of someone is considering they deal with blood, gore, death and such kinds of things. Civilians circumstances should not be decided by them nor judged by them from thier point of view. That is why they do not make laws nor are they judges. That is why we have courts and congress and senate.
The very fact that thier attitude about many TI's situation is 'it could have been worse' shows that they are impressing thier mentality and reality onto civilians who are not trained, prepared nor equipped to deal with such a reality. This is why this system is illegal and the only reason that it isnt dealt with is the constant hiding of its existence from the public, who I trust in them if they by and large were finally told that such a system does indeed exist, the outcry would be as such or at least the lawsuits that it would put a dent in thier sense of omnipotent power.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Its all so simple from the outside

They knew. they know exactly what they are doing. They cause brain damage through exposure to mycotoxins then apply torture until the person is broken down. Mycotoxins break down the mind and weaken the body.

Torture, Pavlovian conditioning systems. Classical conditioning. Then behavior modification a reformatting of the personality.

All of this causes the victim to not want to tell thier story or reveal information, either that or they actually lose memory due to brain damage. Or at least amnesia is re induced by these methods.

Its that simple what they have done...

Saw someone from the past from NA and my old life

I just saw this girl named Kimberly who I remember from Brookline NA meetings. She is hosting an NA meeting at this day drop in. She saw my face and after I said hi to her and immediately took her scarf and put it over her face to cover everything but her eyes.

Then I made sure I rubbed it in by saying I remember her from NA Brookline (where I was gang stalking regularly on what seemed behalf of Jake and his scumbag connections in the music business towards whatever effort to get rid of me, frame me whatever). I then asked "didnt you used to work in that program to reform underage prostitutes?" When I asked that she did not respond as if that went along with the covering of the face action.

I repeated myself. She then said "whats yer name again?" which could nor could not be the case that she forgot my name really as she certainly had taken steps to get out of being recognized.

She then played the role of innocent and as if nothing had happened.

That is the problem with all this. My life is ruined, I have had to live being tortured and everyone of these people involved in this is going to act just like her. As if nothing has happened as if its just me being delusional if I dare to mentioned what really DID happen.

Also many of these people including Romney's family member and Jake's friend Laura, seemed to know that I used to work in an alter ego so would not recognize people out of context. It used to happen with clients all the time, I would not know who they were face to face out of the context of me seeing them in work mode.
And when I was working it was in an alter ego. Not a multiple personality but more akin to disassociation. I actually have memories that consist of me seeing myself involved in activity from a third person, out of body point of view.

But seeing her only gave me a look into my old life, the timeline that should have been that was knocked off course. It was like a gust of wind in a prison cell with a stagnant environment.

Its going to kill me to have to face the reality that years have been taken off my life, that I will never have those opportunities or a future like I was going to have. But seeing her brought back the old feeling of where I was when this got very bad.

I also have been noticing alot more than just people at certain day drop ins making me uncomfortable. I notice in past few days they are doing actual tactics.

That is becuz I am in a place where I get good rest and also am near a support system of friends as well as have individual friends I go places with.

It is harder for this system to use tactics with success when the Target has stable food, shelter and human support system. Which is why its important to get Targets isolated and keep them in destitution.

I have seen Kimberly before as well on the street over time. Each time she looks at me, knows my face and avoids me noticeably as well as she looks very guilt ridden. People in social services or have some part of themselves that cares for other human beings as their nature are the BEST gauges for just how savage and wrong these campaigns are. Its the sadists who convince us over time through repetition that we deserve this or that its funny, amusing or a prison we cannot break out of. That the level of abuse is normal.

Now I see why we must be driven mad and eventually end up having theories about way out conspiricies- it discredits us and takes attention off of anything believable in our stories.

If I just focused on Jake, Julie my mother and THAT plot of evil design or conspiracy locally by they as well as law enforcement it would be a hell of alot more believable than mentioning programming, mind control or Ritual Abuse wouldnt you say?

To overwhelm the Target is to direct them to inaction.

It doesnt matter how smart you are, they will just insure that all your efforts are guided towards wasting your time for years on end. At least this blog has helped some real Targets as well as some RA survivors and MC survivors.

I have always suspected that a number of people who are always so grateful for my work, some of them are so sickly sweet about it you just know its part of the Pavlovian system and its purpose is reward, so that I keep focusing on this and not on the things I CAN prove that ARE believable.

And unfortunately it works.

Dont worry my dears. Upon seeing her I feel the power I have had all along to wield and really f*ck up yer sh*t. Worry not. I am not going to focus on petty details.

When I go for the throat of this I want it all, big and at once. EVERYTHING will come down not just a few details of the plot.

Have a nice f*ckin day bitches.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Neanderthal DNA...and Programmable Humans

OK this is going to be a bit complex with lots of info.

Firstly let me say that it does not surprise me that this testing is coming out now. Those of us who have dealt with unethical human experimentation know that whatever we experienced first hand is going to show up in magazine or study some time later. This was especially bad and prevalant during Bush where most likely under cover of war and anti terror info could be gathered from torture or other ill treatment without anyone taking notice. Stress tests, intelligence tests etc.

Secondly let it be clear that the results found by scientists basically say that many whites, not all but many have Neaderthal DNA to the exclusion of Asians and Africans.
So when Ozzy Osbourne discovers hes got such DNA it is not really that rare: http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/28/ozzy-osbourne-on-genome-testing-neanderthal-lineage/comment-page-1/. Yes that is some funny sh*t as well.

Thirdly before I go into this, if this common DNA is what I think it is then many of us for years have known what scientists are telling us all along which in life is usually the case. I dont need a scientist to tell me that I am different from other people and other whites are different from myself, that I have instincts to and are strangely drawn to recognize only certain people on this planet as 'family' and its usually be thier DNA. Its something one can sense one can see. Also let me say that this DNA similarity is present in all non whites that I encounter and take in as kin almost immediately which if this theory is correct means that anyone with the right strain of Caucasian DNA who is not obviously 'white' may also possess such DNA.

However in relation to that subject matter it may possibly explain why mind control slaves are chosen. It seems that so me connection to royal bloodlines is necessary but perhaps some connection to Neanderthal DNA is also necessary to create a tough almost superhuman being that could stand up to performing such tasks and surviving.
I have noticed that many female mind controlled slaves all share similar appearance that has some tough masculinity within as well as similar facial features and a jawline. All very strong features like as in Eastern European Slavic type features being expressed a bit. If a savvy and experienced faction knew of these traits in certain people it could be used to chose them specifically as slaves.

There is a piece someome wrote about Autism possibly being related to Neanderthal DNA. Its very psychiatry based and alot of it is very questionable, especially since psychiatry often works to cover up for side effects of programming, mind control, RA and even simply people who behave differently due to a heavy trauma backround since childhood. Much of it is very insulting to people how possess such characteristics it lists associated with supposed Autism. One of the most suspect is the query 'do you possess a high moral standard and will stand up for what is right even in disregard of social norms or consequences?'..THAT is a sign of Autism? Give me a break, this just goes to show how dangerous psychiatry really is. And to suggest that we even know enough about Neaderthals to attribute such detailed qualities about them is presumptuios. However in another piece, it has been supposedly proven that Neanderthals possibly died out due to being over cautious. The whole piece basically in the end damns all environmentalists and people who want a sane balanced world to die out due to this urge being driven by Neanderthal DNA.

Which of course is more bs as if that were truly why some of us want form societies differently then we would be expressing such urges NOW, with the benefit of modern human DNA in the mix (as we supposedly hail from hybrid Neanderthal/Homo Sapien DNA) and the benefit of the modern world with comforts and conveniences.
It might be that the earth needs these ancient wise voices to let others know they are destroying themselves in the long run and not exercise enough caution.

Here is that piece. Try to stay sensible: http://www.rdos.net/eng/asperger.htm
It is truly frightening for me to read that piece. It comes so close to the way I am in life. But how do you then explain my large vocabulary and ability for literature and reading very fast and above my education level all my life? What my modern human DNA? It just goes too far. And the descriptions of evolution would apply to anyone with ancestors from cold places with dogs or wolves for instance. I think alot of the info is accurate to describe many people of ancient European ancestry but not everyone of them has Aspergers or Autism. Nor could it alwyays be due to Neanderthal DNA. Its a very dangerous piece to say the least but very very interesting.

I do not believe that people with many of those characteristics have Autism. Many people like this make fine artists or other wise so who is anyone to label that way of being as unusual or deviant? Then one gets into psychiatry's standards for judgement as being very unscientific or mere theory that is too much accepted as fact in our society. Sociologists could explain away the same traits of character or living with totally different explainations, ones that do not favor singling such people out as wrong compared to most of the population. I think we see how much bs is involved by the high moral standard statement- now THAT is suspect.

Psychiatry has this habit of taking what could be considered legit disorders or problems that people have getting through life with, mostly very severe afflictions and branching them out to include people that are basically functional and normal. THIS is when psychiatry becomes dangerous as social control and THIS is the borderline they should not be allowed to cross. All psychiatry cannot be debunked its just that they have gone way to far outside of what is reasonable or fair.

I love the bit where 'Neuro-typicals' or your average sheep are represented not only as "typical" but as more socially healthy by intimation:
"Social behaviors of neurotypicals
Is a large social network important for you?178
Is creating a social identity important for you?179
Do you appreciate to be in charge of other people?180
Do you have an interest for fashions?181
Do you enjoy gossip?182
Do you find it natural that males take initiatives to start a romantic relationship?183
Is your style and image very important to you?184
Is other people's image of you important to you?185
Do you find it natural to keep track of whom owes whom favours?186
Do you enjoy wearing jewelry?187
Do you enjoy make-up?"

I have always loved jewelry as well as fashions. Much of the mapped out territory of the Neanderthals also love such things: places like France and Italy. (Duh). Not to mention the metal working skills of Norsk peoples who it seems according to some research in this Neanderthal issue, have the most instance of Neanderthal DNA.

Alot of the findings are conflicting and are being used for race warring as well as this piece on explaining away psychiatry, which one would have to have validated to begin with the then attach it to the theory of Neanderthal DNA.

Here is the blogpost that repeats the findings that Neanderthal man was too cautious:
I wonder if that would not be a good thing in the context of modern times with issues like pollution and outliving our environment meant for survival. I wonder if it is not the reason for the attitude of many whites that having children in such a world of obvious overpopulation is not a good idea right now:
"Most Social Scientists believe that the lower fertility in whites is principally due to a variety of factors, primarily the lack of desire in whites to reproduce, their decision probably based on self-centered egotistical motivations of not wishing to share their wealth with eventual offspring.
Other factors are believed to add to the marked decrease in their reproduction, such as genuine concerns about the overpopulation of the planet, the general crime conditions in an overcrowded world, and lately genuine concerns about the environmental damages to the Earth's ecosystem by the increasing standard of living of greater numbers of humans on the planet.
It was scary as hell to look at the credentials for being Autistic. It describes alot of my life perfectly except for the fact that I dont have a problem with verbal abilities.

It also makes dealing with programming and RA a problem. Alot of fallout from that can be hidden under a condition like Autism. Either that or whatever makes certain people or families prime for programming wether it be bloodline DNA or Neanderthal or both or some other common thread, is what makes us 'different' to begin with and the process we go through in any mind control project just makes life more difficult.
Becuz programming and RA do exist just like whoever is doing alot of the hard core human experimentation is really trying to understand just how programmed people are set up inside. Its been obvious from 2003 that some faction NOT associated with the programmers are very curious to know just what makes us tick.
Its interesting that use of peripheral vision is noted as I recall perps in AZ being very into testing me on this.

What the experimenters or testers do basically is stress a mind control survivor out so that they must use all thier skills, acquired and natural, to survive thus being observed by the experimenters/testers. I have seen this with my own eyes.
In alot of cases it seems that the human experimentation connected to MK Ultra and the radiation experiments is not about programming but getting information on people who are programmed so as to further thier creepy goals of creating a superman. Of course most logical people then would beg the question as to who is involved in the original programming.
Just take it from most Survivors that some questions are not meant to be answered.

The problem is not with programmed people deprogramming naturally and living thier lives after that as productive citizens its why exactly do we have to be so destroyed, broken down and interrupted in that process and then put into severe and destructive behavior modification programs? THAT is the problem.

Its funny that so many people on the lowest levels of the gang stalking are so stupid about what is really going on. One woman in a day drop in was referring to me and told how you messed up it was that people would tell her to leave a certain person alone due to they having a disability. "Leave that girl alone she's got a disability".
(probably presumed that I am truly schizophrenic, autistic or other condition making me deviant and abnormal) "Then you find out that person is smart...like college smart".
Dont you love the trash and peasants they have in the street ranks and homeless shelters who are in on destroying a programmed person who is inconvenient? Welcome to MPD/DID. Welcome to the alter system. Welcome to the miracle of high level programming. College smart aint the half of it..you should see what one can do with Theta programming.

'College' smart. (Snicker). Its just too much isnt it? And this is the same trash that will mess with you in the shelters when you are so confused and being tortured, and like spoilt brats they will stamp thier little feet and say "She aint no better! She in here jus like the rest of us". And you think to yourself that you are under unusual circumstances for any human being to face as well as what spawned this behavior is your natural carriage and demand for self respect and self discipline. And frankly, you dont need this petty peasant bullsh*t on top of being held hostage in a severely destructive psychological warfare campaign.

Though one should write a person like this off as a stupid, jealous female unfortunately there are so many of her in these campaigns that eventually they do alot of damage to the Target. And thier conscience is about as equal to thier intelligence and awareness of worldly affairs. Which means your going to drown in an ocean of some of the most ignorant human beings in the USA.
But then again, they are comparatively innocent in motive compared to the rich a-holes at the top who know very well what they are doing to the Target.

The stigma of a smear campaign as well as ever useful psychiatry will most likely cover the perps asses for the rest of the Target's life so no true justice can be gotten as no one will believe the person anyway.
In Littleton MA when I was 19 years ago, I realize now how that place was saturated with perps who knew exactly who I was and would f*ck with me regularly. It was very close to a military base now closed but more interesting locally was MIT's Lincoln Labs. Mass has alot of fun and nasty, interesting military industrial complex as well as academic related companies. Power and results with no need for regard to human value.
A couple was standing next to me we were waiting for a train or bus. The man said something about me being an artist and the woman corrected him while laughing and both of them horse playing, in love and so much better than I of course: "AUTISTIC you mean". So this has been a common mind f*ck for years now and its why I never bought into it.

If the perps know alot about me, as much as I have seen used against me in a psychological warfare campaign designed to destroy or kill, then they know damn well that I was and perhaps am able to draw and paint quite well without lessons as well as have some ability in music and other areas. They know this and its thier job to destroy it and suppress it. It is especially dangerous to them for some reason that I get into math or study it to improve my understanding and skill as well as music is a threat as well.
These people know about entire families, generation to generation. So its very important for the TI to forget that which is what they do by not only having intimates and relatives betray and abandon the Targeted Survivor during a campaign turned 24/7, but to divide and conquer that family so each member can still be controlled individually. If someone like myself refuses the dynamics of a mind controlled family that keeps each person down respectively, then the system will come in from the outside and beat the person down and create control from outside which is exactly what a gang stalking campaign does.

If you look at the wheel of abusive cycles, the one thats used to describe domestic violence to victims in therapy you will notice that each abuse section is one used by the 'perps' of a stalking and harassment campaign on a Targeted Individual. This is used to keep a Survivor of programming 'down' so that they never have control over thier own lives or grow as human beings after breaking out of programming.
Its just an idea to throw out there, as we know that DNA preferences plays a key part in choosing who gets programmed.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Emotional Signatures Used In Pavlovian Conditioning

I posted a few entries by crappy mobile phone. I noticed that perps got very nervous overt his as well as my being back in Cambridge.
I know its hard for people to understand that have not been through this. Its why non TI's and people not familiar with covert activity believe we are just mentally ill.

Its just like mobbing or bullying anywhere else. Its done very very discreetly and its sophisticated psychological warfare. The people behind campaigns like mine are obviously privvy to a deep intelligence rundown of info about the Target, these people set out to win from the get go with little chance for error. Its thier job. Geniune TI's are not delusional, they are being victimized by a system that is so out of control of the public that if people do know about what is going on they dont want to interfere. There is no official authority that is going to interfere with these campaigns. TI's often receive assistance through more covert activity of a rival faction to the gang stalking perpetrators. It is the only defense in such activities.
But believe that it does exist.

Just becuz someone is totally powerless against an full scale attack on them that saturates any area they are in does not mean they are mentally ill.
A former agent of a foreign spy agency claimed that thier organization would put 200 or more agents out on ONE enemy agent or person of interest. That right there is what a 'gang stalking' campaign is like.

In case you havent read up lately intelligence organizations are totally out of control. According to the NY Times recently the DEA has become a world wide intelligence agency far overstepping their original role in drug related issues. Charles Schlund, the Yale graduate who worked in this field who then was targeted due to not selling out sued the Bush family and had a legit lawsuit against the gov and Bush. I believe there was some success in a civil suit in Canada but not the US. He claimed that one of the things he knew too much about was that the DEA was partially an arm of the CIA and got dirty work done for them.

You cannot make a judgment about things you do not know enough about. Most people dont realize how covert ops work. These agencies dont just fight crime or hunt down 'bad guys' or quietly manage terrorist threats the public need never know about. Parts of certain intel agencies have been notorious for years in ensuring that corporate interests are pushed through and also intefer by monkeying and tinkering covertly political affairs in foreign countries.

However, there also have been many private security companies recently who have taken on such activities and are supposedly hired out by govts and private companies to do such things which of course should be illegal or have more limitations than governmental bodies. I recently posted about an add on Craigslist that was recruiting people to a security company and outright mentioned "targeting" people as one of its functions. So it may be a number of people outside the US govt. And how much of the US govt is now privatized anyway? This means they have no responsibility to the public not like a govt.

The world is now run in a very complicated manner and I suspect what is intimated is correct- that much of the world has been privatized and the people dont realize that- and the corporations dont really have an obligation to tell anyone either. To spell it out.

9-11 allowed all kinds of ways that such a power structure could basically start controlling an entire nation of people and thier whole lives. The problem is that people believe thier govt is protecting them and seem to not realize that the line between the private sector and the govt run by its people (if ever that was the case) has been blurred.

Ask yourself exactly who you have handed your power over to for the sake of protection? Becuz too much went on during Bush for any of it to be legal under the human and civil rights laws of the USA. This seems to be ignored, that means that somewhere someone is either now allowed to run amok under current laws or they are doing so using extreme methods to silence victim witnesses.
When this started the purpose was not to modify me as a human being or to extract information from me it was to have me killed or driven to suicide. So any excuses anyone comes up with are totally invalid as to me deserving this or needing modification. Those are all parts of the cover story or brainwashing so that I and everyone else believes such things to be true.

These people have so much money and resources its expected I will not fight back or defend myself. People like my mother got in on it either to not get targeted or becuz they felt that they would never be caught or face consequences. This brings us around to the reason we HAVE laws to begin with. People will take part in criminal or murderous behavior if they feel they are protected by powerful factions.

Just recently I got this impression, about 3 weeks ago, when someone drove by and looked at me packing up my sleeping bag in Harvard Sq- it was very much like what my mother used to act like when I was down or when I couldn't fight back. It was this feeling of the person seeing me in such conditions and getting off on it, really evil. The same vibe as I would sense from my mother years ago. Arrogant and very sneaky. I got the same feeling when a bank shut down my account and I still owe them money.
Whoever is doing this is very attached to the system of the real world. They have little concept of fighting for justice or creating something that will last the test of time long after one is gone. The are very very into the idea of destroying my life in ways that the common people will believe or take into consideration like food, shelter, tax records, banking, credit ratings and other mainstream things that our society uses to judge normal people by normal standards. Whoever is very unconcerned with higher concepts or thinking in the abstract. They are only concerned with what make me look like a screw up or mentally ill in the short term to the average citizen of the USA.
This is why gang stalking is used to ruin someone's life in society.

Whoever is behind by campaign however they are very stuck at the level of normal modern society and average people's perceptions. Once again thier mind set is very much towards group think and the mob or herd.

To them I am right where they want me and weak due to my life being 'ruined' so easily. Which of course is totally not the case in the context of what is occurring in the big picture and in time.
This is how these people operate. With total attention to the now and the mass. Which is why these campaigns are so high school becuz its geared towards an anti-popularity contest.

Even when I take action on the internet towards victory in the long term, I get this feeling that someone is admiring my courage or my tenacity but is convinced that I am wasting my time with going up against such a monolith of a system.

And you have to assume that all of your communications are monitored. The problem is that I often can sense what the monitor is thinking, which of course might just be part of the mind control involved. If I am constantly hit with feelings of doubt or that I am taking on something that is bigger than me and hopeless it will interfere with morale.

Its worse now than during Bush. There seems to be more tech involved than before and its so heavy handed that one cannot even think for a moment to one's self without interference. This is probably why many people were gang stalked in person so heavily during Bush- the rule of thumb in this as i have posted is that wherever there is not sufficient technology to manage a Target that person will encounter a heavy in person human forces stalking and harassment campaign.

I would say that the in person gang stalking is alot less damaging than the tech. The tech slowly eats away at the mind and destroys the persons sense of Self and mental capacities. I am also in a very bad area for tech and should have left awhile ago.

If you watched that vid from Nick Begich I posted then you know many powerful corporate entities are involved. In this case as i have posted before it might even be other factions of govt protecting and assisting TI's against the corporations behind this and thier hired perps.

Its definitely about suppressing victim witnesses.

Tech is very dangerous now much worse than it was during Bush.

I noted that when I logged on my phone that I did not get the same feeling I always get when I log on by computer to these blogs. And when I log into blogger I get a good feeling, its prob the only consistently positive feeling i get. Which means i wud b conditioned like addict 2 post often.

Why is it that a snowstorm will consistently provide relief from symptoms of being targeted?

You Are So Beautiful

Jake used to call me up drunk in the wee hours and sing this with his guitar. It sounded just as good as the original. Better becuz it was him.

People had told me all the time about my looks but no one put it to me that I was beautiful to them exclusively in a way they understood me from the outside world's perception of what constituted beauty.

I couldnt listen to this for a long time. I still cant I just am alot better at stealing myself emotionally.

They have done alot of psychological warfare very successfully to pervert and destroy alot of what I recall as good or even existing in my life before this campaign occured.

Small things like this that pack alot of emotional power, memories that are engrained that they cant seem to get to- they can never take this away. This belongs to me and always will until I am gone.

You must keep such things for yourself as in this game they are the gems of true value. People with lots of money get targeted too and I am sure its just as damaging and miserable for them.

I am sure now the world has convinced him as well as all of my former associates that I was this atom bomb of a mistake that will only cause them pain as long as I am alive or sane enough to be heard. that me fading into the darkness is best for everyone. That my friends is another tactic.

My grandmother used to do that. She would look at pics of my uncle Tommy's dog Leepshun (sorry cant spell right now) and say "That DAMN dog" becuz my uncle was upset over its dying. What a total selfish bitch. Yes I just called the woman that alot of people want to be delusional about and idolize as a saint as a selfish bitch. Becuz I deal in reality- harsh hard reality, becuz that is what solves problems and cleans out wounds so they can truly heal. Not lies and saving worthless face.
My uncle had a right to his own emotions. My grandmother needs to mind her own business. My uncle would not be so messed up over a dog dying if he did not come from a totally screwed up dysfunctional household so alot of his sorrow is actually what was CAUSED BY THE WOMAN DAMNING THE DOG AND HER HUSBAND. This is who people live in denial instead of use logic and facts, and people live like this, prisoners of misery for a lifetime. Never strong enough to face the beast, even if its partially in the mirror, hunt it down or strike back at it or acknowledge it and manage it within.

In English culture its normal for people to allow thier pets free reign of the house which is what we see on the Osbournes I think. It always confused me as to why people with money would not find the best and most affective dog trainer available and fix the damn problem. I read that this is normal in a society where their pets can run amok becuz humans cannot really express themselves freely and people dont make close intense emotional bonds readily.

Projecting onto animals is normal I suppose in a situation of supressing something or in denial.
Projecting is also a very dangerous tool of manipulation in smear campaigns and helps destroy lives and people's sanity eventually.

I like this moment in time becuz its real. It was how the world was before everything went crazy under Bush and continues to blow smoke up our asses while fooling us with constant smoke and mirrors. This is how the normal, real world was before all this started. Its how today was it being a holiday. And I am sure that tomorrow will be a return to a false reality. Daily torture and oppression- of individuals and an entire nation.

A news show on tv a few days ago had a man who destribed America as country crying out for help. Well damn they should be as they are being frickin tortured every day for years on end.

As a perp said to me in St Loius while sitting on the top part of a park bench: "Women from the east coast may be beautiful in thier hearts and thier minds but a person can take only so much". Sick isnt it? That these people are fully aware of what is most hidden and precious inside of me? And to add to that their job it to keep up the torture so that I break or die or suicide? How ya like that for testimony? Just the way its worded has to be one of the creepiest statements I have ever heard in my life and I have been around some really f*cked up people. Out of all of my life experiences the gang stalking perps have got to be the most overtly screwed up people I have ever encountered. They plan this shit in full knowledge of what they are doing. And when they say things like that they look totally stressed out as if they are under extreme stress actually doing such things to other human beings. So why do it then? I just dont get what that demographic of perps is about. The sadists at least look normal enjoying themselves while destroying people, that is easy figure out- but this strange brand of gang stalker, the one that looks like it took half his life energy to go through with such actions, that its going to scar him for life...what is thier deal specifically?

All TI's can do is take note of them being weak opponents and having any feelings at all, recall that moment and start to put a drain on them. Hopefully it will take effect over time.

Yes, I was beautiful once but nothing is beautiful in this induced Hell that exists now. And the public arent really fighting it anymore, isnt it great? How disgusting they are in not defending themselves?

So much work and resources has gone into whatever is going on now. Its incredible the sheer coverage and power that has overtaken the country if not the world. Its not something that can be stopped I dont think.

One thing I note is how final any decision is. Like the decision to have me killed. Whenever I think about my options its always defined that they will win, that thier scenerio is going to pan out over any Will I may possess or self determination. Thier decision is final: insanity or suicide or worse- totally beat down, average and never fulfulling any dreams at all.

I am sure that this post will be taken as a sign of weakness. SUch as some form of giving in to modification. If only I had the sense to be apologetic, if only I showed normal human emotion- some reverence for authority or some remorse, fear or regret.

Well under normal circustances those emotional responses would be appropriate. However, being set up, framed, exploited, used as a decoy and diversion, having my health destroyed by mold exposure and stress as well as tortured tends to make me believe that what has occured is unjust and my normal response should be one of outrage not submission. Of fighting not surrender to the oppressor.

These people are implementing these systems simply as mind control over masses and individuals who are a threat. Nothing more or less. Its all unethical and gross abuse of power and authority. The people of the earth will now be effectively controlled by psychological warfare and technologies as if that is the norm.
Or until they are done building whatever thier NWO order is that at least 3 presidents have mentioned documented on video each time. Its always the same century after century- it doesnt matter how many slaves perish of it an old woman is getting pulled under the wheels moving the huge building blocks- as long as the masterbuilder gets his structure built. Thier palaces or pyramids or what ever. Human lives mean nothing.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Wow. What Time Seems to Do For Black Metal Bands

Hmm. Always wondered about this.

If one looks at certain black metal acts pre 2001, one can plainly see that though they had talent, technical ability or produced powerful energy prior in thier careers, the powerful almost omnipresent energy that they seem to possess at the change of the millenia is compelling. These acts seem to have gained more than just perhaps an ally in an administration that also supported facism as well as contained many Nazi sympathizers or persons who's family lines could be traced back to documented support of Nazi concepts (Prescott Bush), ideals and projects. Lets not forget Project Paperclip and MK Ultra are both rooted in Nazi human experimentation.

These specific bands are not only overtly Satanic in nature, they also contain one or more members who support Nazism. And they are of course, the ideal Aryan race to begin with being Nordics and much of thier belief systems seems intertwined with that outlook.

They also hail from a very oil rich country which most people dont know provides them independence in world affairs. Much like Bush's oil rich Texas with its lone star, has such independence in US affairs and an attitude to match. Their govt system supports artists unlike the American system. Varg Vikernes of Burzum fame, (who was involved in an unfortunate violent incident with associates of his that is mostly all he is known for),his father worked for Saddam Hussein and he claims to have lived overseas in that area as a child.

Specifically Gorgoroth and to a lesser extent Urgehal had suddenly and magically gained immense power as well as very good work during this period as far as getting attention and promoting thier careers. In a review of Urgehal's Goat Craft Torment, the critic actually states that someone in the studio seemed to have magically all of a sudden "gotten it right this time" becuz they didnt seem to have this quality before. They are also probably more sexist than the other acts, if thats possible and this is mentioned in the same review. It starts out by saying many people perceive of this band as just a bunch of misogynist rich kids trying to make the scene:

"This Is Satanic Black Metal - 81%
Written by Str8Hate on November 18th, 2006:

Many critics view Urgehal as a bunch of misogynist/sadomaschistic, violent adolescents who in order to gain some attention went to the great extremes of forming a "kvlt" band whose image (and music?) would shock the boots from under many folks' feet. And while their lyrical themes do in fact revolve around such abhorrent symbolism, the truth is far from that. To merely view Urgehal's members as copycats or "scene" kids hounding the cliche is more of an underestimation. This demonic alliance existed ever since Trondr Nefas and Enzifer formulated it back in 1992..."

"The production of 'Goatcraft Torment' is truly crisp and the mixing premium. It seems that Agonia Records' really did a great job this time. Somehow the listener is able to identify the source of each note no matter whether it's playing in the background or foreground. And inspite of such clean production, the recording still sounds as raw and malefic as any good Black Metal album should. Even Torgersbråten's bass is clearly audible, a feat which would've been technically impossible to achieve a decade earlier."
They also got to tour America for the first time and enjoyed much success during this period.


No one can say this about Gorgoroth. Thier earlier work is just as amazing as their later work. Listening to it for the first time I was in awe that people from this genre were not more famous for thier music and talent as they work many times harder than your average musician in other genres as well as thier work sounds like intricate classical music. I discovered later that Hall of the Mountain King one of my favorite classical pieces from Grieg, was a composer from the same area as many of these bands specifically Gorgoroth..the sound is much the same to my untrained ear. The energy is more what I noted, its very similar.
Many American acts or metal acts that are popular seem to stop and turn back where this band wasnt afraid to tread.

Bands like KISS suck majorly and are weak to death in comparison to how much energy is produced by this genre. I would get annoyed when people would say they were trying to be like KISS. Just goes to show you can market crap in the US to the detriment of real unbelievable talent. If you do a bit of research into history which of course I did, you will find that in ancient Germanic paganism there are ghost warriors or warriors thats supposedly come back from the dead that would wear very much the same get ups and make up to play the role of these folk or myth characters. Its similar to ancient Romans wearing wolf skins in the military to bond to the myth of Rome descending from Romulus and Remus who were born of a She Wolf.
This would explain how so much geniune human energy is whipped up by these rituals and making this music with such theatrics. And I believe I read that part of their modernization of the pagan belief system is that people die and return to be soldiers of Satan which is in line with the old pagan belief system. So much for trying to imitate KISS. They arent Scandinavian as far as I know..far from it actually.

However, this band is hardcore. The guitarist claims to be Satan's minister here on earth. So who cares right?

Its the ties to Nazism and Satanism as well as the ideal Aryan race idea. Hitler's new world order was to be a Germanic order. The people in office during Bush if not Bush's family themselves were not only supporters of these activities, but all along since Project Paperclip, MK Ultra and other human experimentation seem to have been supported as well by the same factions. Helms of the CIA destroyed MK Ultra documents to ensure no one knows what the scope of the damage is or if there is a chance the projects were continued privately.
There are also questionable ties between Michael Aquino who is at once an officer of special forces in the US Army but also the former High Priest of the Temple of Set and one of its orginal members, his offshoot from the Church of Satan. His expertise in the military was psychological warfare.
He gets much attention for many connections to RA and other parts of the puzzle but here one is only concerned with his intense interest in Nazism specifically the occult end of it and that includes ritual as well as Satanism.
We are now dealing with the possibility of connections between Satanic black metal bands capable of very powerful ritual through music, with much Nazi concepts and ideologies, then connected to Satanic military factions that are Nazi sympathizers or include this in thier philosophies and the Nazi root of Project Paperclip, MK Ultra etc and ultimately the technologies that make psy ops possible in thier most deadly or torturous capacities.
I dont know of anyone more fond of promoting rape and torture than hardcore Satanists and especially brutal Norsk black metal bands. Its even spelled out with those words in many lyrics of theirs.
The link to the military is what I am interested becuz they indeed not only have such toys but also a history of torture under Bush administration as well as the pentagon has a habit of misplacing millions of dollars or claiming its black budget in interest of nation security. Hmmm..

Many of these bands seem to have gotten very powerful and even began to get exposure through a documentary done by a photographer who put out a coffee table type photo book on the subject as well.

Before I continue lets get some facts straight that are never mentioned:
Firstly, Norway is a country where the perception is that church and state are not seperated. Everyone is basically supposed to be a Lutheran Protestant and up until recently the church had a heavy hand in people's lives. If you think about it, these bands are so fierce not just due to vikings in general having a history of force and brutality in thier nature, but they are essentially terrorists against an oppressive governement which no one seems to point out alot in documentaries or otherwise. This is also a culture that always held onto resentment of the church's interference in thier country which is totally understandable considering the history of the Catholic and other church's corruption and interference or influence into human world affairs if not heavy handed social control over populations. They dont call it the Dark Ages for nothing.
Secondly, when churches were burned by these factions in the 90's and beyond there was loss of human life. That is also never mentioned. These weren't terrorist acts of lower risk where just property damage was done.
Thirdly, in the documentary the lead singer, Gaal who during this period was a strong Nazi sympathizer had a history of raging on people with a force that only a programmed, compartmentalized person could appreciate. The documentary has in it one witness who speaks of Gaahl having multiple victims and also that they were sick for many years beyond the immediate assaults on them.
It was also a joke among the ignorant that he was a vegetarian due to it being seen as in conflict with the bad ass image of his role as lead singer in such a band as well as his solo projects. However if one reads up on the Vril societies and thier belief systems one will understand that being an eater of only living foods gains one only living energies.
Its not too far a reach at that point to go to other substances for sustanence that would gain one life energy.

In another interview it was mentioned by a different member who is more interested in Satanism than Nazism it would seem that the American Church of Satan was not for him as it has alot of circuses..like fun and games they like to play. Wonder what was meant by that?

So lets start early on:

Gorgoroth - Gorgoroth
Uploaded by Cannibal-poulpe. - Watch more music videos, in HD!
The tech ability is there but the energy is very different and weaker compared to 2001 and later.

Than enter Gaahl as lead singer:

Doesnt look much like his later incarnation does he? Weak, scrawny but the nastiness is certainly there.

This vid came out just around the time of the height of the war. I always thought it was meant to rep alot of the killing and torture during this era:

And interestingly the guitarist as well as other members look not only beefier and more powerful in general but the guitarist looks much less 'metal' and much more like an American rock musician..perhaps one that we are all familiar with already.

The band continued to gain momentum especially after Beste's work. The power of the video above taken in 2001 shows the amount of raw power they seemed to be able to produce and wield at that time, and for years thereafter.

The band later had much difficulty and much of it due to Gaahls temper and the guitarist being involved in a rape charge. Granted these could be set ups or targeting as they must have many enemies in not only the Jewish factions but the Christian ones as well. The bands seperate incarnations were never as power producing as this line up.

Its also interesting to note that Burzum's philosophies, innocently betray a plan to enslave man kind while certain other black metal bands from this scene have written lyrics (that they suddenly refused to publish as of around 2001 or so) that specifically state ideas along these lines like mentioning the actual year 2003 with the phrase "enslave mankind". Hmph.

I am not a hater of this music. in fact it kept me going for many years. But this puzzle must be solved

Monday, December 20, 2010

Lost lovers and our tacky collective future

Looking at a networking sight im on, seperate from all of this...a cute 20yr old who insisted...(giggle) guess he likes older, brick house built women. Latin you know. But as is my taste outside of my strict tastes for blondes and Italian brunettes, all 'ethnic' men have to be a very interesting exotic mix. The one before him was Cuban, Irish, German and Japanese. THAT was fun and interesting. There is something very er..special about the way Japanese male bodies are made. Their legs are different and in the mechanics they seem make a mans performance totally different from strictly European males. Alot different.
This one was even more interesting. Egyptian, Irish, German, and some sort of Native American like one of the tribes in lower Mexico..I cant recall if he also said some sort of Slav as well. Irish and German seem to be anchors for my even getting with any male. All the other ethnicities are interesting pluses but it seems those two ethnicities have to be there for anything sexual to occur.
He didnt look Mexican but a bit Native. He mostly looked a bit German with alot of Egypt. I am very picky about males I suppose. And its also the persons spirit as well as compatible DNA. We in our PC world lie to ourselves about genetics. I dont believe that Eugenics is a great idea but I do believe from experience that DNA plays a very important role in who we are attracted to and feel comfortable around. I may very well like a person of African descent or from Africa itself, but beyond pleasant conversation there has to be some anchor for friendship. And no one wants to hear this but its usually DNA based. The woman I made friends with in Cali became quickly tight with me for the very simple reason that her mannerisms and tone of voice matched my mothers perfectly. My mother's father is from the deep south and her original family is from there a generation or two back. Its quite probable we are related. When she was pregnant at the shelter if she was hungry I had this bizarre totally primitive urge to go out and kill an animal for her. Now that is something pre modern civilization for you right there. And nothing was more humorous than the idea of having such a primitive thought in a very modern place like San Diego CA. Of course due to my RA history, right after she gave birth I could no longer speak to her that often and have since stopped all communication with her.'

Ritual Abuse survivors are not selfish mean people you think we are. The system that comes after us and lots of internal programming ensures that we do NOT heal and get the therapy we need. So we are trapped in old behaviors based on deathly fears. There is no way I can make myself talk to her now, I try and it just doesnt work. Childbirth has always disgusted me and any looking at it like on TV makes me want to vomit. The very thought of it, of a woman being able to do that is just disgusting...and frightening. Its unfathomable. I mean, how could you?

When you help the mob to stalk and harass survivors what you do is condemn them or us I should say to a lifetime of imprisonment instead of much needed disclosure and healing. Make sure next time you partake of a bullying or mobbing of a person you look very deeply,even for a second, into the motives of the people pushing this idea. When you start to see the deceivers, the ones how egg on the naive and gullible to do thier dirty work for them by a whisper in the ear, as they grin and scratch thier chins with gleaming eyes, while persuading...then you will have fully seen the reality of our world. Until then you are blind.

This is why so called 'evil' doesnt phase me as much as others perhaps. I understand it or they as a natural part of our world. I think its much scarier to imagine what is beyond in the dark or be lied to about it or ignore it daily.

I look at his new pics he still has a handsome face but hes growing older. His whole life is ahead of him but I know a part of him that is more man than men twice his age which is also interesting. Flings are something I discovered late in life and they are fun but not very fullfulling. Perhaps if I had more of them. Its too late now anyway.

All I can think about is that other dumbass. The one that gets in the way every time I like another male. To think of that one ex, the one this system used against me- as he was. Before the snakes got him and got him good, drained him of any innocent spirit that was present and turned him into the greasy, sleazy piece of industry shit that he is today. Its so so sad. I just look at older pics of him sometimes. I don't know that new person. He is a total fabrication of not only the recovery cult but the false reality that is totally manipulated and influenced events surrounding everyone involved. I know without outside interference,he should no more be as successful as he is as I should be as half dead and destroyed as I am. Destinies were given and taken away very unfairly at that time and each person placed in thier new and unnatural positions are now living out those false roles..created solely by covert activities influencing and manipulating events.

To think that when I die it will be much over him. To think that like a lover from some old very romanticized tale I will probably die of love, a total cliche. At least its a classical cliche- that I can live with. Oops I mean die with..I mean-you know what I mean.

Maybe that NJ mayor on that talk show a few days ago, the blue eyed white/black man...perhaps he was telling more than he meant to be pointing out the concept of all of us in this era of progress having intertwined destinies. And why does that hark of him being arrogant enough to discuss systems that he perhaps should not reveal to the public at all?

The great thing about Prince Hall is that they can turn an Apron into a pimp outfit effortlessly. Just as flashy and tacky as the feather out of the fedora with the long coat over the shoulders, imitation Italian mob style clothes. Its a new era kids. One where the total loss of civility, secrecy and sublty is replaced by a world full of people who refuse to include the word 'tacky' in thier vocabulary due to it being a direct reference to they and all they stand for and act out in life. Also a new and brave era of great fakes and I am not talking about just jewelry.

Anything that had true weight and value is going to be cheapened by this sort of bs.

Welcome to the future. Its not only going to be careless, uncivil and tacky there will no longer be any comparison to that for what is truly precious in value. You can sell people the Brooklyn Bridge a thousand times over and no one will get the joke or the artfulness of it being a con. They will all believe it. There will be no crimes or cons as everyone will be sold the idea that none exist.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Roundtable News Show/ Urban Update

"The tide of history is rolling forward" said some male speaking on the round table discussion show.
Then he said that we are in the midst of a great progression in his country in this era.

But how many of us had to suffer greatly during Bush in horrible ways to make this New World Order a reality?

You dont need to listen to spin, you dont need to let Obama con us with gentleness or any of these men in suites talking sh*t out thier ass to sell news.


Also, it seems we have a childish public who have been wounded who now want Dems and Reps to work together. Aww, mommy and daddy are going to reconcile? This is very very bad. IT shows that the American people dont feel in control at all anymore. They feel parented by the authority figures. Its disgusting.

And there is only ONE female commentator going up against a panel of males, of course there is a male with blue eyes, very athletic football player built that is obviously part African American in his DNA somewhere. Another advertsisement for one of the agendas. The woman on the other hand, is a bottle bleach blonde who is older, not attractive, totally emeciated and wearing bright red, like the owned whore of these agendas. One of thier 'bitches' it seems.

Why cant there be a female on these shows that is as athletic and attractive as the black male is being marketed on that panel, or even in all media nationwide (if not internaionally now?)

Fuck the new world order as it seems to keep sexism firmly in place. I dont trust it and I dont want it. Until the system admits that its new sick agenda has nothing to do with truly recognizing true female power then its just another enslavement sham.

I will accept the black male in all his incarnations as my better or superior when HELL FREEZES OVER. I would rather have Condelina Rice as an authority figure or any other kind of female than the bullshit they are trying to market know. RACE AND CLASS SHOULD NOT BE COVERING FOR SEXISM.

Now someone is bitching about the lack of black speakers on some issue. I ONLY NOTICE THE LACK OF RESPECTABLE POWERFUL HEALTHY FEMALES.


Sexism has made a return and its disgusting. Now that annoying guy from NJ, the mixed football player looking guy, is aggressively pushing his view. Just his manner is a total turn off. I cant even focus on what hes saying due to how obvious it is hes an ad. ( found out his name is mayor Booker. NJ? Then the mob comes to mind. Hes also pushing this mind control bs about interwoven destinies of all of us alive right now. Disgusting really)

NOw some man is speaking I recognize from being in news for a while. He seems honest and like he's speaking the facts. Hes countering the white woman in red and the blue eyed mixed football player looking guy from NJ. My mind just woke up. Goes to show what happens to the human mind when REALITY AND TRUTH prevail over spin or psychological games being used to brainwashing people subconsciously.

The round table...nothing got done and viewers wasted thier time watching passively as a bunch of different people discussed the 'issues' who are not Congressmen or Senators so its a waste of time. Strangely they are not your average citizens either..why not have an open forum or similar to this round table where common real people talk about these issues as such? Why are we sitting here passively viewing these people talking about this instead of taking action..oh I just answered my own question.

They just showed an ad for Boeing..that innovation is why they are here for us. Now I know its all a load of sh*t.

HAHAHA...they just showed an ad from GE of all companies, telling people not to smoke to save the planet. WTF? first of all even if you dont know that GE made nuclear bombs, you should be suspect of any big corporation telling you to not smoke- advising you on any personal health issue. Who the f*ck do they think they are?

Well forget this Round Table show- GE? Boeing? Forget it if those or their sponsors.

Now a black male is on show called Urban Update. I can deal with this...hes discussing news factually and hes not full of sh*t. Nor is he trying to market social change with subliminal tactics. He as real people on his show. Of course this is a local Boston show as no one from this area would be arrogant enough to try to treat local people from this college heavy area like we are stupid. Well, with the exception of the nightly news.

Interwoven destinies. The NJ mayor should become a poet. Or stay in philosophy class and stay away from politics. Write children's books or something. Is NJ that insane? Hmmm..yeah it probably is.

Well, I guess politics nowadays is just like dictating to children anyway. And I personally resent the f*ck out of it.

One of the speakers on Urban Update, an acedemic, just explained that since the 70's there has been a purposeful merging of common markets. I dont know what that means but it sounds very much like connected to some globalization plan, purposefully. He then said that it has manifested in the USA but it cant be traced in origin to the US.

At that juncture the host cut him off with a childish dumb down statement "Oh which came first the chicken or the egg", total mind control tactic, then said it was important to go to commercial and he changed the subject before leaving for commercial.
Why does an established African American acedemic have to be re capped and have words put in his very educated mouth by a news anchor?

After return from commercial that same acedemic is not being shown again. The focus of the show is being put back on fear, prediction and simple things like jobs and bonds. Things common people care about or are manipulated to think thats all they care about.

So these shows thier purpose is to manage information or divert from learning the truth. It seems all one has to do is talk to some honest academics to get the real info.

The Greek economy was described by this host as a nightmare and of course is being linked to our US common welfare.

But the black acedemic said what I needed to hear, which is the cause of all this. Which of course sounds alot like a NWO or global system.

The News

Watching Free Speech TV, its now on regular cable or TV sometimes during the week. Like it better than Democracy Now which, since Obama I do not trust at all. And for some reason I dont trust that woman who does much of the hosting on Democracy Now! I found them helpful during Bush but now there is something very NOT kosher about it.

Free Speech TV serves the purpose of doing what the popular news shows should do. It interviews actual politicians and discusses in a simple manner important issues to citizens of this country.

It really reflects the peace and lack of drama and stress that WOULD EXIST if only the system that causes chaos and has constant psychological warfare on the public was not allowed to pump out its bs over the various airwaves.
The regular news, especially local news peddles constant drama and bad news. It is psychologically and emotionally unhealthy, it keeps people in a state of stress. Even the anchors tone of voice is stressed, full of drama and are obviously the result of thier mediocre acting skills.

That Arab comes on, that woman who seems to believe she is one of the only people who can say things that not many other 'journalists' can. Ompor sorry I dont know her name exactly. With her good looks and foreign accent she is going to be be more credible. But the content of her show is playing along with the system for sure. Obama is dramatically refered to as 'The Closer' just like the horrid TV show starring another aging anorexic blonde from Hollywood.

Back to a local news show now becuz some older woman wants to watch the weather. Of course we have to sit through alot of garbage to get to that. And of course the ads are works of art compared to the news, which is really the fluff between the ads, which are the true focus of the show.

Some kid got hit by a car, named Jake. He was a 'good kid' and was into sports so of course he must have been good. Sekonk. What shocks me is the man who says "Things happen sometimes" to explain away the death.
This is whats wrong with local news, and if i had my way there would be no monopoly of this mental garbage for the people of this country. You cant outlaw it fair enough, so then have a show like Free Speech TV that is just as highly funded with a big budget as well to rival this garbage doled out to the public to keep them in a state of childlike regression.

Saw McCain speaking about Dont Ask Dont Tell. I like McCain I would have voted for him if only he did not have Romney with him and then Palin just did not help at all. The liberal jerks just went after her, especially obnoxious was that average talent b*tch from SNL a show that has been brought back from the dead many times never to regain its original glory. Hey, thats what the entertainment industry does in America. Death itself never stopped the media complex from making money off of either a person or a show- both 'product' in thier minds. Who does reality think it is to get in the way of cheap entertainment, dumbing down and manipulating the public for years on end?

He made fun of liberals which was great, predicting in his jaded way (is it jaded or is it wisdom of how the world works?) the talk shows will coo over the decision tomorrow but that MOST OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THIS NEVER SERVED IN THE MILITARY. Of course he is corrrect.

So then the 'news' shows us a sound bite from an Asian homosexual officer, who says when one is on the 'right side' of history one cannot go backwards.

As a Gen Xer I understand that the old guard always goes out and I appreciate progress. But the way its being done in this country has a very sneaky, deceptive quality to it. Its not honest progress social or otherwise as we were all for in the 90's. There is something very manipulative about liberalism now. Something that is serving the agenda that many differing factions seem in on. I cant put my finger on it but making the military more liberal is like creating behavior modifications like erasing memories of trauma or battle or creating robots to do our fighting for us, which only makes money for the military industrial complex.

War is not supposed to be progressive. Its supposed to bring out the absolute worst in man, and show humans just how powerful man's body, mind and spirit can be when in a survival situation. Its also supposed to teach the lesson of peace.
You cant understand the value of peace and true freedom unless you understand horrors like war. Making wars easier is NOT a good thing. I think people are trying to keep the economy going by stabilizing the military industrial complex as a constant money machine so in order to do that war has to be made more attractive or more easy to deal with.

No one should be traumatized and then mind wiped. ALL of the crap that is being done now, from the point of view of someone like myself who has seen what really goes on covertly, seems to be to serve the military industrial complex and its contractors. No one sees the business it is or how huge powerful corporations have enormous control over what happens to us nowadays.

You may not like McCain but the only people who seem to make sense often are military men like Ike who warned us about the military industrial complex early on. They also seem a hell of alot more honest, forthright and alot less sleazy than CIA types, which strangely I can spot even before they are introduced or open thier mouths in interviews. They are usually manipulative and sleazy looking as well as have this look that just irks me to no end-this arrogance that makes them appear to believe that everyone outside thier circles are stupid, ignorant children who believe what they want them to believe.
Now watching Joe Biden on Meet the Press saying that the main interest now is "Getting people back to work". It reminds me of the attitude that has been revealed many times to me by this system and perps themselves- saying things like "its over" to me on the street while pan handling. Pushing continuously to get me to forget and go to UMass Boston. This statement goes along with the way this administration seems to be all about behavior modification in the interest of getting Targets 'back to work' or back to a normal existence after what happened during Bush.

We have to keep fighting. We have to reveal to the world, whether people listen or not, it HAS To be documented somewhere for history's sake at least.
We have to show reality to the world even if they want to reject that and call TI's mentally ill or whatever they want to do to deny our experiences.

Joe Biden is talking about the budget. Hearing him speak is comforting, why cant he be president. When Obama speaks its really annoying. He sounds like a dictator but one with a baby bottle in everyones mouth.....oh jeez, Biden just said in order to get things done we have to "Use medicine we dont like". Again dumbed down the public and treating us like children. He is now selling an increase to military spending to support the troops. Gee why dont they use some of that 17 billion or so they cant account for?

This is all such bullshit. Its gone into such a downward spiral now. The public is so traumatized that they will tolerate such pablum. Its disturbing to see Biden and Obama being so pushy and arrogant. Im sick of being dictated to by a bunch of obnoxious men. Now hes saying that being gay in the military has nothing to do with your ability to shoot or translate. Yes, we want to make killing people more comfortable and attractive. I am usually very for gay rights even marriage, one of my liberal streaks I guess but the military is NOT civilian life. True though that many allies have an open policy, well lets see if it works.

If only Hillary had gotten in..ho hum. Oh also, alot of our allies also have had women leaders, which we seem to have a problem with. I have a feeling that if gay MEN were not involved in the gays in the military issue that it would not be as important. MEN...
Its like shooting straight is all that the military consists of. They never want to admit how violent and nasty the military is.

Its amazing to see politicains managing the public for the corporation's interests becuz I now see fully that is all they do.

Now he's talking about the intelligence community..OKAY, its time to stop watching this. Its getting to deep in here..

Why do I get the feeling that this will never be fixed or rectified. That the world will go on just fine without me that it will stay with the bogus official stories and history lines. That the truth is no longer important and its true what my mother said: No one cares. No one is going to believe it or pay attention.

Now the interviewer on Meet The Press is telling an arrogant, dictatorial Biden that he and Obama came to Washington claiming they were bringing 'change', it was a great moment as it broke Biden weaving his spell ( he uses alot of brainwashing tactics, his voice in itself if you listen is very VERY good for what he is doing. He has a good voice for convincing, his tone and voice inflection. He sounds like an announcer in an ad.)
After being questioned the anchor asks about being a Phillies fan to break the awkwardness of Biden blowing out his ass on that last question. Two good little boys doing thier jobs to secure the agenda.