“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Friday, October 28, 2011

Another Leech Latches On

i am such a total idiot. I got wrapped up in this situation...this thing I wanted to be real so badly. why cant i just face the fact that the only people interested in being with me are pedos who want to get out of trouble or people getting out of jail or trying to get a reduced sentence, who become handlers?

No one else, no one sane or decent wants anything to do with me.

I cannot trust anyone. Yet I drop my guard nowadays becuz I have been left so alone and isolated. Basically an expendable, and people, the entire country really,have written me off and are depending on me fading away into old age and ill health, as if I NEVER EXISTED.

I hooked up with this guy, and I once again am disappointed. Hes most likely someone trying to get out of trouble by being with me.

It just keeps getting worse and worse, as time passes.

I will die still in total shock and disbelief concerning how badly I have been treated, how I have been tortured, abused and exploited but ultimately, how no one cares, the way i am simply ignored. Thats the totally unbelievable part. And I am not even allowed to write my story.

I now have to do what I can to get away from this guy...and he was going to be my safety travelling. But hes got too many bad behaviors, its turning into a babysitting job. He also seems too familiar with the situation, gs etc. So I explained basically what TIs know in summary, from individuals to mass mind control and he was far too unphased and especially unsympathetic. I am betting hes either a pedo or simply yet another nobody trying to make a name for himself by latching onto me. He commented before that he was part of the Illuminatis and his name has been changed to conceal his true bloodline. Stuff that seems like bait for someone in my position that is alone and needs help or a companion. Hes lovey dovey all the time yet when something like this is laid out, he is not reacting sympathetically. Also another red flag is he responds to any story I tell by telling me a story about his experiences, which is competitive, not helpful. It seems that under these conditions Ive been so pushed down into the gutter that I get nothing but trash now and have for some time now.

I dont understand why they keep TIs alive. What is their point? I would rather have been outright murdered like they do under normal circumstances, than live in the body and mind of a human being thats been twisted into a freak. I am basically a very damaged handicapped person now compared to what I was and certainly what I had potential to flower into being. Why would people curse someone to live as a damaged handicapped person? I dont understand. Why not just murder them in their orignal form?

As long as I am still alive I will never understand their obsession with keeping TIs alive and not allowing murder to take place. Under the circumstances its the most humane choice. Allowing a TI to become so damaged but to live on servrs no sensible purpose.