“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Yeah im starting.to lose it here in Boston. I already made a rule that Cambridge is now off limits forever or until the day the gs stops and the tech is turned.off. I have to map out areas that are safe to be in. Inside the city limits are not safe. I may have to do a few errands there but after that its never again. I don't want to go into Kenmore, Fenway or past Cambridge west ever again either. Those areas are extremely unsafe now due to old memories, tech and still present gang stalking activity. I have to think of those areas as a cemetary. Treat the whole section of map just like that.

I've got to devise a way to function and gain access to things I need without crossing into heavy enemy territory ever again.

Sat and talked to this old black guy who looks a bit Native. A truly beautiful person left over from the old days, like the 70s. He's a bit gone mentally but he's the street guy that warned me about that gang that was trying to drug me and do sick shit to me. I found out later who it was locally that was into that. Someone also told me that not only do they run pot out if Hi Hostel Boston but suggested prostitution also! That I am skeptical of but it would explain why the managers are such jerks and why they helped this system totally destroy my life and my health, as well as my sanity.

He brought me back out of the hate and bitterness that's eating my insides lately,that I have become.

I felt grounded. I had just left the Army Navy store where some young typical Boston blacks were being obnoxious and showing off in the store, in a group with a kid in tow of course. They all expect a white woman to be intimidated here. That has never changed all my life. After being down south and the south west I learned you just treat em like they're actin', and laugh at them. Treat em like a separate species and don't engage. That sends em off in the other direction real quick. Boston is the only city I have ever experienced this bs in. San Diego maybe was almost as annoying, with men staring or not minding their business but even there, there wasn't this expectation of being handed power, fear and coddling. There is no way that's getting by with me and with the way I have handled this situation many blacks, mostly young males, have learned that THEY are the punks, not this white woman who's targeted. I think our PC society didn't prepare them for the realities of Indo European nature or older women. They are raised in such an insular, unworldly environment. It really is a pain in the ass for those of us who live outside the media brainwash in the primitive real world. Nothinng in American culture caters to me or defines me. And now you see the trap they get stuck in. They are going through a phase as a culture now, being fascinated by money, sharing the American dream and defining their power in the social structure and building it to last.
Yet its annoying that African Americans in certain areas believe they invented things like sex, war, violence, showing off or making money or being hip and cool.

Its obvious that blacks in Boston will always piss me off as a poor white woman. They are desperate for some scape goat that's white and always in this city I have been treated that way by them. The black community in Boston was part of some serious war crimes and human/civil rights abuses during Bush. And one day they will have to pay for being such good little house slaves.

They are some of the most arrogant blacks in the USA. No other city has African Americans as cruel, violent or as arrogant except NY or SoCal. I mean political violence. They are after all working with the cops, the mob and the power structure here, which is one of the worst and most abusive in the country. Becuz its all hidden under the colleges and the hospitals. They know they have their asses covered.
My agitation with the jokers around here will cease once I leave MA. Happens that way every time.
This nice older man, its no surprise he's a street person here, he's probably targeted for not being an asshole.

And he mentions math and physics concepts sometimes in his rambling. So many potentially brilliant people get targeted to keep them down and they get driven nuts by gs. Even easier than normal people becuz their minds are so open, so fluid.

This system KNOWS who the smart ones are who are a threat and it destroys talented smart people as well as people with beautiful inner spirits. Look at what's been done to me. I am being turned very evil and told my only ultimatum is to become a Christian. There is something very wrong with that.

I give this guy a few bucks when I can but I just want to collect him and put him in my dream structure or dwelling for the worthy homeless. Not the greedy, lazy, uninteresting shelter rats and bums.
He'd prob want to go out into the street anyway.

The youth shelters have the best set ups and there should be something like this for the homeless and travelers who are willing to work on a place of our own. Not constantly beaten down by the system so all homeless people have to submit to the non profit robber barons, which is what they resemble at this point with how many human rights violatins they get away with. Being homeless in the USA gives new meaning to working and being owned by the company store. In fact, many Americans are in that predicament right now and are too removed from history to understand that...yeah. the homeless probably have more freedom right now. Like to say no to partaking in gs for profit and favors.