“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

damage done from years of physically running ragged under duress

vyOne of the saddest things that has happened due to being targeted for so long othet than losing my right pinkie, which has affected my ability to write and draw, is damage done to my health in othet ways. I can no longer have sex..its been this way for a while . in the beginnig the torture was so bad that i was unable to have a normal sex life with running around the country etc, perps were always on my ass in groups and really laying the pressure on. by rhe time i had relations again since dating scott ended in summer 2006 was at a hippie gathering in 2009 or so. by then i had been celebate for so long it had done untold damage to my health, my immune system and my psychological state.

i then met someone and tried to have a normal sexual relationship and kept getting urinary tract infections. this started me on many courses of antibiotics ending of course with Bactrim in AZ 2009 Dec and thats when i experienced a severe allergic reaction requiring emergency care. i tried to have sexual relations again later but it always ends up with a UTI which due to my allergic condition now, i have to use only cranberry juice and it takes a few days and is very painful. i stopped havng sex but notice that i have to urinate often. it seems that carrying that heavy backpack across country for so long under that kind of pressure and physical stress with pre existing health conditions has done permanent d iamage. it pushes on my organs and its done something to ky bladder. this is the cause of it for the most part it seems. also due to not being able to take herbal hormone balance snd being unable to be sexually active in a natural manner as an outlet my endoletriosis has become a problem agsin. its just as painful as it was in my 30s. a few weeks ago my bleeding from my rectum seems related to this.. i didnt want to realize that this system was trying to damage me as much as possible in any way it could as opposed to the bush era of outright coming after me.

this is why Boston was so dangerous. the fact that a Harvard affiliated hospital like Mt Auburn would deny documenting my allergic reaction to a spider bite as well as bebedryl overdose with that doctor assistant being outright abusive ("maybe its reflux" remember that?) tells me that area has no problem trying to assist in ruining my health with no documentation ledt behind as proof of what is going on. i was targeted so hard i jusg lost fifteen minutes of work due to stupid phome buttons. not everyone has thin fingets.

basically i was writing i also lost alot of sensatin in my clitoris due to a weird skin thing i caught in san diego cali. and i caught it from a sheltet not a person. i will get into how unhealthy socal is when i edit this post later.

it was like a poison ivy or oak and i only treated it after i got vaginitis in june this year due to fear of being harassd by medicsl persons but also allerfic reactions to antibiotics.

if my healtj is going to fall aprt soon i want everyine to know what happened.

i couldnt for so long tell from being targeted for so long as well as not wanting my enemies to get satisfaction which it kills me to know they will ne getting from this. but i know thwt not everyone is an evil greedy jealous piece of shit and some people will want me to get justice..snd revenge.

some of the stupid god freaks will try to say its god's justice or some other nonsense but that isnt true...this has all been the work of humans believe me. and i didnt deserve this either. its about money and me recalling things no one wants revieled.