“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Having Hard Time On This Ride...and I Dont Trust It

The truck ride I am with is a set up possibly or at least the situation we are in is. In 23 years this man hasn't run out of gas? It just so happens to be when I am in truck on rainy night on hiway? And I notice thst earlier driver stated "we r never gonna make it" with 1/4 to 1/5 tank left but later said we would and that was before rest stop for eleven hours. Its interesting that the company paid for a gad stop for their refrigeration unit carrying the product to deliver but left the drivers cab low on gas....so when he runs out of gas for the first time in twenty three years, the company wont lose their product, only time delivering it.

I am not feeding into any aggregation the driver has becuz I have to consider its to drain me and also make me feel very guilty. With a few of these rides there have been all these dramatic problems thst just HAPPEN to come up when I or I and a road dog are with a truck. And the last road dog I had from Rainbow, I overheard him tell the driver he was escorting me across country as a favor to someone I wont say, close to a certain infamous hippie family..that also deals in a lot of drugs. So he wasn't genuine either.

Now we are waiting far too long for this fuel to arrive, and garage keeps handing driver some bullshit about finishing up a tire. The driver of course gets aggregated only with me around after he hangs up with garage....he could or couldn't be in on it but I certainly suspect the people dispatching jobs and fuel stops etc.

The independent rides I get are usually drama free. I got this out of MA. Its more likely its his dispatch but I never know.

The point is to depress me, to keep me down with guilt, being drained and as many obstacles and diversions as possible every day of my life. Its a deterrant in a way, against traveling as well as being willful. This system has made it clear many times it wants me either in UMass studying something and forgetting what happened (and becoming very physically ill I guess becuz that's what was happening in MA which is one of the main factors in leaving) OR they want me dead, suicided. Or, at least to not be so mobile.

We stayed in one parking spot in thst truck stop for eleven hours. By the last few hours I was being targeted as if I was stationary in a city again, living there. The moment he pulled out of that spot I no longer experienced receiving any sort of brainwashing or hypnotic/subconshus suggestion.

This is the constant POSSIBLE scenerios I have to live with, becuz people are getting rewarded and or paid to drop the ball or not do their jobs.

I have seen thst when I road Greyhound I would be routed all over the place, super long way. When Tom Cochran, and old money type person related to the Cabots and friend of some of my old associates I later remembered, magically that ticket was routed the most direct, quick layout back to his place where I was staying thst I had ever seen in my life. Same with Lou Gheppetti at Walgreens Brookline- they would kiss his butt and be all syrupy to him when he went to the pharmacy but for years they were always mean to me and after Jake playing that little game of being suspect of me trying to rob the pharmacy of drugs.
BTW, thst is the pharmacy where I used to get my sedatives, the ones thst had something weird in them when I was suing Olnick and starting to remember things from my childhood, the pills that the San Francisco hospital eventually gave me a break and magically came up with a new bottle upon my leaving, after saying they never carried that drug there. Upon my leaving, they STRONGLY suggested that I take the new pills not the ones from Brookline Coolidge Corner Walgreens.