“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Latest Behavior Mod Campaign Consists of Urged To Leave USA, Constant Truman Show Effect...And Blowing Out My Confidence

lately been plagued by heavy remote influence causing me to become very doubtful of my project and lose confidence.

Ideations that Ive been discredited so why bother continuing to try to write my book or get legal help.

Heavy on the discredited idea. I never considered main stream society's opinions before. I was writing my book for my own satisfaction, for revenge and to see if I could get something to support myself out of it as Ive been kept from working for years, going to college and now my health is bad directly from being kept on the road for years.

Why now, should it matter what people in general think of me or a work I might produce?

What is happening here? Why am I being urged to flee the country and why am I being so blocked from blogging or working on my book?

Its been really bad since Obama got re elected but definitely since the past month. Terrible in fact. It weighs heavy on me. Its a very heavy and almost unbeatable harassment.

Also, daily I am getting unbearable disturbances in thought processes. I never had this before, only in the past few months. WHY? Its specifically a problem of being in eastern MA. (Of course).

There is an ongoing campaign to wear down my confidence and cause social anxiety and insecurity, utilizing perps constantly, daily here in public spaces here in Cambridge/Boston. I only feel some relief when getting outside the city- I know that the same parameters are there just as they were measured out by me years ago when it was torture being used as opposed to wearing me down like this. Its the same physical parameters- getting outside of JFK on the red line is a great improvement as opposed to in the city and getting to the end of the line in Braintree provides what seems like total relief. I know its not total as long as its not a holiday or a Sunday but its so markedly different than in city limits.

As usual the gang stalking harassment never stops. Now however there is much more shaming and making me feel awkward as opposed to aggressively trying to piss me off and make me act out or tell someone off.

There also seems like there is a total full on attempt to get people to forget about anything that led up to this- 9/11, the Bush era all of it. I have to keep reading up on that stuff and looking at pics and vids to relive that its actually real and is still relevant.

This is a next phase in nothing more than a behavior modification program. Me leaving the country, and it seems to do with before next year, seems very important.

What is going to occur beginning in Jan that I am being driven out to avoid? Or could it be that my chances of legal action improve the longer that I am steady, disciplined and work off my years of hard work and dedication- knowing they have GOT to pay off?
Its unbelievable how powerful and constant the Truman Show Effect is and its really only within the city limits I mentioned. Its really bad here.

Its obviously part of the behavior modification. Every few seconds I am convinced that there is some important person, watching me or in psychic contact who is then guiding me or approving/disapproving of my thoughts or actions. I know its bullsh*t as it disappears in locations where microwave etc cant reach like underground or hospitals etc and it disappears outside city limits. I need the resources here though and I think they know that.
Got hit hard with total body anxiety or like an electrical current through the muscles yesterday night when I thought of the idea that medical and psychiatry are using these technologies to create ill health and mental illness so they can make money. Its obvious thats whats happening.
Terrorism and Mental Health: The Issue Of Psychological Frigidity