“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Thursday, February 16, 2012

I Like My Little House

I like the house I live in. I really dont know what to do other than defend it.
Theyve made it so I only feel safe when I am here or in the neighborhood. I can't go outside this little area like this block without the harassment becoming heavy.

Even though its like this in Boston and Cambridge at least there I feel my cause, MY fight has some merit. Ever since I changed my address to this city just one day ago the darkness that hangs over this city constantly like a cloud has taken effect on me.
This place wants me to feel what I wear isnt good enough..that I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH. The constant gs in vehicles here is something close to terrorism. I dont know what makes this location so dark. So black. Its not evil, like St Louis or Los Angeles or Boston. Its an emotional state that takes over, becomes all pervasive. Forget about thinking here or being intellectual. It almost feels like its due to pollution of some kind. The whole city stinks sometimes like Phoenix AZ does. Chemical pollution.

I think its really mean for Yankees and New Yorkers and even people from L.A. to make fun of Southerners especially west here. They arent stupid its just very hot very humid extremely moldy and in some parts like here the pollution is a worsened condition due to those aforementioned factors.

I myself am starting to feel the effects of this. Other than the gang stalkers the regular people down here are nice. I liked it down here until I changed my address that is. I can feel there is something to this place
producing a dumbed down state. This city also isnt the most intellectually stimulating or artsy either.
If only I could take my little house and the people in it and drop it in the middle of, say, somewhat rural New Hampshire life would be perfect.

I'm learning to cook pots of beans and cornbread- domesticated stuff I was never taught and certainly cant accomplish on the road. But learning to cook may not be the best idea in a depressing city where its encouraged to not leave the house.

I know what they are doing. They want me to be grossly overweight like my mother. They've done this to various women I know from pedophile families all with some tie to mob, CIA or the like. They seem to 'break' the women after a certain age. They want these women to basically become caretakers and slaves for the family. Women who crave power or dont comply and have a militant streak like my mother are treated especially badly and made to have horrible lives always portrayed as bitches, only becuz they wont be frightened into submission by this system.

They did it to my aunt Debrah, they did it to my ex's Scott's sister and they are trying to do it to me.

Theyve already destroyed any chances I had for a successful future. The problem with this place is the targeting and handling seems to consist of not being able to get the trade off of my youth beauty and talent being destroyed in exchange for a cause and warriorhood. I suddenly feel like I simply dont matter, that I am old now with my face starting to give and its pretty much over and I am human garbage. I was wondering what being managed and targeted here as a citizen would be like and its completely miserable.
Theres also a sense of my being forced to realize that I am up against an immense power structure and that its impossible to win or even fight any longer.

I must remember that MA being a Commonwealth may afford them certain independence from the rest of the country. It certainly feels that way. Globalization has destroyed my little New England so I wont go looking for that lost quality there again.

Now I see why this state screws things up so much nationally if not internationally.

Yet how do I explain the ease of me being able to focus and get tasks done here, where as settling down in any other location has been impossible thus far?

Places like Nebraska are also this comforting and pleasant yet when I am there I can sense its some sort of false management by tech or other that creates that feeling. Becuz once you leave that location in a big truck that feeling fades upon the state line.

Its amazing that such perceptions change on state lines. Some states you can feel youve crossed its border without even seeing the sign like if I am busy with my computer or in the back. What causes this then? Its more than just the energies the land itself creates. Places like CA and Wyoming are very obvious. The southwest, each state has this distinction.

This place is dead. I am becoming very forgetful here. Yet its going to be the same no matter where else I go.

When you're traveling by big trucks, covering alot of the US, in vehicles that are made for traveling long distances- observing these changes and differences between locations one can plainly see much of these are man made.

To be honest, as a Targeted Individual right now being on the road-on highways and outside of cities and towns in a moving vehicle is the safest place to be. There is something about being in a truck or on a bus with wheels taking you fast long distances that 'outruns' the system if you will.

Its the only safe place in America left unless youve got money and connections to get by with. Or you can somehow pin point and exist in the safe zones which means no cell reception at all.

Ive looked and found no maps which map out where there definitely ISNT cell coverage-just different companies mapping out where there is.

They just dont get it yet. The public are concerned about their gadgets still.

I wonder if thats wny all this land is being tunneled underground. Not for a disaster or genocide but for the increasing damage from electromagnetic pollution and other radiation damage.