“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Internal Bleeding Again Raises Questions Of Priorities

I'm bleeding again. The exact same issue as was in MA last winter.
The common factors seem to be staying inside where there's continued mold exposure even if its mild. I was also drinking harsh instant coffee the same brand last time this happened and I just bought some a few days ago. I am gave it away today so I can see if that improves anything. There are other possible changes in diet recently.

I know its not severe like hemorrhaging but at some point in future whatever tear is present may worsen so I have to do something.

Being a Target its never an easy decision. I know that traveling and sleeping outside I am healthier than anytime I am housed and in one place. Unless you are wealthy in big cities you are going to experience mold and shit environmental conditions. Its inevitable I've discovered. The way America is set up is you work hard to AVOID unhealthy living conditions. It shouldn't be that way but it is. And many workers have unhealthy conditions in their jobs so home might be the only safe place. Not exactly the American dream is it, to make people such slaves to ill health. More money for the medical field I suppose.

If I go back to MA I will get neat down one more time by the racism there as well as its a complete electromagnetic nightmare. Yet there's one hospital that has treated me well in my past health issues and I sort of trust they wont try to assist this system in killing me with a 'mishap' or 'accident' on an operating table.
The state I am in now I don't know about. its potentially dangerous, theoretically anyway. I haven't tried any services here so I don't know.

I would also have to finally stop my MA residency, another move that would just crush my pride and ego even moreso. It might also complicate any legal actions I wish to investigate in future. Yet it pisses me off MA has gotten away with not having their insurance and services used by me, partially a result of the intimidation in hospitals and by medical staff I've experienced there over the years.

I'm also afraid to move residency becuz I don't know if some high end legal stuff is what makes me the kind of target I am in The Commonwealth Of Massachusetts as opposed to what kind of conditions my campaign would take on or have changed if I became a resident of another state. At some high level what was done to people like me must be legal somehow under Bush as it was executed. This means that being a MA citizen may have protected me...or made it worse I don't know.

its what they don't tell the public that often is the worst of it.

Is it better to chance dying during a surgery BEFORE the book is out or to get some version of the information out first????

Internal bleeding is worrisome, but not as much as one's life's work never coming into being when that is all one has to define one's existence.

Its rare times like this when I really don't know what to do that I hate my situation.

Often I am given ideations here to go back to MA and face them and sometimes that I should go back to the southwest as the desert weather is better for my health.
The problem with going back to MA is aside from my health going downhill immediately after arriving there, there's no place to stay and its winter. I refuse to subject myself to the racist, backwards blacks there who handle the poor like house slaves for the rich in that area. Never again am I tolerating that ghetto bullshit. EVER.
Secondly the remote influence, if you will, is so overpowering there, I wouldn't be able to accomplished much anyway. They have a system set up there to capture people like me and keep you caught in the maze, uselessly running on this hamster wheel and as long as you are there, your life will consist of nothing more, nothing better than that. MA is dead as far as I am concerned. Aside from Lexington and other locations with enough money to preserve their cities and protect or seperate themselves everything else seems to have been sold off. MA has sold out to the system and its completely useless now. I think people around Nixon, the roots of the NeoCons, foresaw Liberal, Kennedy MA (especially Cambridge) being a problem in pulling off the NWO. Which is why I sense traveling that places like Cambridge and Berkeley CA are more heavily managed with tech and gs than other locations.

MA has been subdued for a reason. Going back there would be nothing short of self torture.

To be fair, if this is truly what Angleton warned about, Communist take over of the US if not the world, then those locations would be controlled due to their standing up for justice and freedoms but also they are more easier manipulated towards a Communist agenda-as long as the freedom fight part of the culture was controlled.

If what Angleton talked about is what's happening that would explain why I am actually safer away from such locations as MA and CA.

Note in my post last night featuring the 9-11 numerology page, it mentioned one of the people who died on a 9-11 flight was the author of a book about corruption during the Clinton administration.

Is it going to be as easy to get rid of anyone else writing such things? It seems those of us without education, established cred and who have also been discredited are less likely to be murdered.

Then again Whistle Blower Syndrome was no fun during Bush and yes, they do try....to murder you. Or frame you. Which makes no sense as wouldn't I be dead by now? I think the recent bunch of jerks prefer torture over murder. Which of course assists with intimidating the public who is looking on at what's happening.

I keep getting these notions that I should give up becuz I've already been beaten etc etc. All the BS they tell you in the beginning of a campaign going 24/7. Know your place, accept your situation blah blah blah.

As usual everyone can go f*ck themselves.

The book is more important than a mortal body.
Which of course they probably planned to have me hung up in at this point becuz I am acting and thinking just like a cult member- ready to die for the cause when in fact I know my book will probably be ignored or people will pretend it and I don't exist.

Lastly if I go back to MA everyone will continue to act as if nothing happened anyway. Its hard to get justice for something when everyone is responding with 'what are you talking about?' type sentiment.

Oh everyone would just love if I died wouldn't they. The scum in MA and NY are satisfied that my potential and future were taken from me. Now I am just a minor inconvenience that has to either die or grow old and go silent.
They really feel they won already. That the entire thing is just done and over.

Not until its revealed how this situation we are all living in now was CREATED by covert actions and influencing of events will this all be over.

Not until I get my past back.