“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Clarifying Rich Kids

Lets clarify something about squatters. I am talking about rich kid posers like at infamous squat houses. Places like Hellarity with PC squatter kids who find me as well as other types of people unacceptable. Who knows or cares why.

Its a bit hard for me in the United States in this situation. I am 40 not in my 20s. I don't party or screw a lot due to my health issues and I am primarily focused on my activism. Though younger kids are open to me and helpful their sense of having all the time in the world is very different from my feeling as if my book is going to be my swan song. Their activities and goals are different. I don't make friends easily, I never have. I make quick connections very well and operate just fine among strangers or in strange environments enough to survive but I am not good at gaining stability. America is not as it was and people just don't invite you into their houses anymore, perhaps its my age also. Most people my age who are serious about doing something have access to resources, all my access has been blocked. Everywhere I go I cannot get an accurate read on people becuz I can never be sure they aren't decieving me by actually being in on the campaign or if they believe cover stories so aren't going to be genuine with me to begin with.

I've met plenty of helpful rich kids many nice ones. But the squatters I have seen just put me off from trying to investigate squatting in organized squat houses. Perhaps I simply haven't looked hard enough. And then there's the trust issues.

Usually other travelers aren't perps but in San Diego this small group of kids who looked just like travelers gang stalked me outright around town even pulling shit on buses. That is pretty unusual. Then of course there are the scumbags I met at drug running/dealing Rainbow (A camp is gonna suffer a black ops assassination if ever one day I get any money and power. That fantasy is going to be manifested. Arrogant agro hippie f*cks. None of them Italians but all of them were idiots. One motherf*ckin day payback is due. Shawney is a nice place for.that..only one entrance/exit with no feds or rangers with A camp at the entrance. Their greatest power position in that location makes them a wonderful group of easy pickings in the middle of the night from tree tops with silencers, after their booze has been drugged of course. Buddah gets no easy death and is taken out further into the woods for 'special treatment'. Not drugged of course. And lasting hours. If only I had some money and criminal friends. Sigh...)

Yeah those sleazy snooty scenes piss me off to no end. Their infiltrated by either agents, rich kids from dirty money or drug connected people. They suck. And I don't know if there are actual cool squats becuz I am always focused just on survival while traveling.
(Doing drugs is different from dealing drugs like Rainbow. And there have been weird kids who seem in on this like in People's Park too.)

Yeah I meet a lot of people who seem very into wasting my time for either mob connected drug rings, prostitution rings or whatever. They all suck, they all ultimately work for the Man and its never what a serious, focused activist is looking for.

Anybody f*cking with me or getting in my way is working for the oppressors I don't care how they market it. Unless of course they are typically stupid gullible average nobodies who can be easily manipulated into mobbing me.

In all my experience Americans have been all about doing nothing but keeping me down. Keeping me from things I want. Keeping me from doing things or having things that other lesser people are allowed to have. Americans for the most part have always mistrusted me even as a child. Ive always been singled out for bullying or exploitation.

That's becuz on average most Americans are dumb. And I'd like to get out of the US to see if I get treated any better outside. America will never work for me. They only believe in the rich or people they deem worthy having things easily. People like me are treated as if we have to work extra hard and are constantly held back. Americans are jealous inferior under achievers who shop to make a soulless mindless existence livable. Is it any wonder why they have always hated ME? The European who never got broken down into being an American. Its best if I try to see what's back in the ancestral lands.

Perhaps the past 15 years has changed the entire West so anywhere I go will seem unworkable. Becuz I was kept from growing since the late 90s and put on ice since 2003.

That's not true I do have a lot of aquantances but I never had the stability for life long friends. And I am not good at getting into places like squat houses or scenes. I guess I am too obsessive about whatever work I am doing to be social.