“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Sunday, September 4, 2011

going between acting erratic lately or a depressed zombie

What bothers me most lately is my inability to stick to the facts. The main structure of my activism.

I used to be able to do that. All I can do lately is walk around acting crazy and either obsessing over old hurts and betrayals or in a state of zombie like depression. I wonder if something about the tech has changed or ingredient in chem trails?

It almost feels like after Japan tsunami..that few weeks where I felt the same and it lined up with radiation fall out coming over here.

One has to remember my mother being q radiation experimented and her and I being only ones in family with specific health problems like chronic severe endometriosis or her thyroid issues common in radiation survivors. It may make me more sensitive especially after mycotoxicosis.

I have started drinking milk again after two years of allergic reaction due to Bactrim and anaphylaxis.

I read that milk is one thing not to eat due to radiation fallout and during Japan it was brought up about NH and Seabrook having issues that don't get reported. Could just be alarmist..but is this what I am affected by? It could be the hormones in milk also. Don't know.

Is this why I am being urged to go north instead of south or west?

The ideations to leave US are daily now. It just seems so illogical to do so.

I've been losing it for past month. Something feels really off ever since like May or June. Its 2 or 3 am right? I wake up sometimes at these late hours not in tech affected time (6 am to 12 midnight) and I cannot believe how insane I am behaving or how vegatative I am during those hours. Even leaving city limits isn't making a huge difference like it used to.

What the hell is going on and why should I leave the country like its imperitive to do so now?

Leaving US right now would be really hard to do. I can do it after winter here but not right now. And how is Europe or Canada not going to bring the same problems? Hey people who