So what am I supposed to do just accept my situation and move on? And constant torture is supposed to make me spill everything right? Not becuz any of these people are going to get what they deserve or justice will be done, but so that I can then also be totally under state run mind control. What I mean by that is much of this resembles alot of what went on in East Germany or the USSR. 'The State' as an example of this power, official power, political power though it seems to consist of special interests, acedamia, the private sector and certain state actors. The cops are certainly involved.
I am in a very difficult position. If I reveal information out of revenge as a last ditch effort to gain justice, understanding or revenge before my death or before I have to bow down to losing this battle due to sickness age, then I will have 'confessed' and that is firstly not going to help becuz all these people are untouchable and I am considered mentally ill officially I can tell. People have jsut written me off completely becuz its easier than bringing the conspirators to justice, generally they are worth more.
Confession is a huge part of submission when being tortured. Its an important phase in behavior modification especially cult mind control or brainwashing. It wouldnt be so suspect if I was given a subpeona at the time of the federal investigation but I was chased around the US and people kept intimating the FBI wanted to talk to me. Or I kept getting interrigated outright by perps. So this torture to tell all is just another ploy to gain submission from a TI.
I also think that there are a lot of men in on this and one of the main focuses of this seems to be a faction of Cause Stalkers who are very interested in getting certain women under control. They are convinced that women's lib as it ended up being in the 90s was responsible for all thier ills. Really they are angry at REACTIONARY feminists and rightly so. Race shouldnt be part of female power or advocacy nor should religion come into it nor should women be male hating reactionaries. These are weak women. Women who live off a male system and act like they owe men nothing. They suck and I couldnt agree more.
However, I find it interesting that in my situation, this system had to pick on someone who was not a racist and try to make me a total hateful racist. Someone who did NOT hate the cops and now distrusts them completely. Did NOT hate men but now can hardly deal with being around them if they are at all aggressive.
What they hated most was a truly powerful woman one that interanally sensed her equality with men, not as an invader on THIER territory, playing thier roles and thier games but on her own, THE TRUE DEFINITION OF AN INDEPENDENT OR POWERFUL OR CONFIDENT FEMALE. This is what they have set out to destroy over time, and its interesting they had to do to me what child molesters do to thier daughters to get that result. Break my trust in all male authority as well as focus on abuse by male authority or a percieved group or gang up of males. Also using Jake to make me feel like the old divorced dumped woman is also part of this.
When this started I was about 33 or 34 and looked 20 or 23. I am now 40 and look about 30 something even though lower class people think I look 24 or so. Better classes of people will see the damage to my looks. And people who knew me, and one can just see it from pictures comparing now to then- my looks have totally been taken away. Yet the lower classes I deal with seem to think I am beautiful.
This is also part of the planned submission and forced moving on, forgetting about what they did, accepting my situation all thats been being pushed for years now.
Becuz I possessed superior information about the wealthy and powerful men that run our world, I had to be robbed of that. Also I seemed to posses alot of qualities that were from a class or two above me regardless of my birth class. This too has to be wiped out of me. I had to be turned into a common person, an ignorant hateful fearful peasant. Like everybody else. This way it looks even less like I am telling the truth becuz it seems I am jsut another homeless crazy who hates authority. No one special. This and lowering my intelligence and destorying my talents seemed very important.
Becuz in reality this leads back to programming, no 0ne wants to have people start looking at the sex industry and realizing that women are imprisoned mentally and otherwise there and arent really living lives out as themselves, then even less due they want that attributed to mind control becuz then programming will start to be discovered in all kinds of gutters they dont want you to know about. The reason the sex industry and drugs must stay illegal is becuz without them being veiled in mystery not only could these things not fund black ops with black budgets (think Iran Contra as the most ridiculous example) but they could not be used to hide alot of other things like spying and mind control. How many working girls are geniuses or highly intelligent but die of drug overdoses or disappear? Its becuz many are being used for other things that require an artists eye, high intelligence, verbal skills, musical ability, innate math ability etc etc. It also requires that they be heavily disacossiative. Hmph..
So all these years of beat down have been to really burn my nerves out so I am never again capable of being the fine human being I once had potential to be. To reduce me to a peasant, a commoner with no special looks or talent.
And this was done alot by smearing me constantly so that a huge network of people across the USA would actually treat me like I was just that.
I dont even think leaving the USA is going to do any good. Why so I can be harassed in some other country where I dont understand the laws or language? Great set up to see me fall but I wont go for it.
Lately my brain seems much more like its melting, like memories are fading like I am slowly dying. Simply becoming a walking corpse.
I am sick of being denied my true self. Of being pushed more than ever to forget about who I am or what I could have been. Every single thing that happened to me has to be documented and revealed to the public. That is the only way to bridge the gap between the time line that should have been and the one thats been created.