“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Misconceptin I Am Doing This All For Attention

Now I'm getting these strong psychic impressions that some people think I am doing this for attention. Either that or these impressions come from me telling my friends here that I am leaving and they don't know me well enough to know that when I have had enough I will just leave.

If anyone out there thinks I do activism pertaining to gang stalking or ritual abuse/ mind control programming for attention you are out of your minds. You also don't know me very well as a person. Notice how everyone who did know me are the ones in my story that betrayed me. My own mother told me stright out "You can write a book but no one is going to believe you". You still don't understand how this works. The people who know the TI has serious dirt on them as well as has been through inhuman abuse, are the ones who are usually at the center of the conspiracy against that one targeted person and then they get to forever be exempt from responsibility by saying that person is either mentally ill or attention seeking-they say whatever they have to in order to perpetuate the deception.

Every person who was key who was close to me had some very heavy dirt to hide and all three of them including also my landlady and her company were involved in abusing me for years. And also I knew my.mother Julie and Jake so well I can tell you THEIR private issues that made them abusive as well and it doesn't reflect on their families well believe me.

The people around me were like abusers who all knew what the other one was doing so knew they could get away with treating me that way. When I realized fully I basically got treated like a slave and people were hurting me for their own gain they all decided to silence the victim witness. My mother Jake and Julie were all guilty of using me to the point of regularly hurting me either physically emotionally or mentally. Abusers often do this with one victim. They also have a funny habit of revealing to the victim how abusive the other ones are probably so the victim will stay with them exclusively.

If you think I do any of this for attention you simply don't know me.

America has a warped view of older women. I'm 40. I am Gen X. We don't f*ck around in case you don't recall. The 70s was really hard to grow up in especially if yer parents partied. Life was often a serious affair. We didn't have internet and we also didn't have parents like our parents who were dutiful. We were left alone and frightened to fend for ourselves to the point where we became very independant. Our parents taught us how to fight authority and survive that's about it...and that it was ok to question things and express ourselves even if society doesn't approve.

I am a still talented fairly attractive Caucasian female with much intelligence remaining and extra ordinary life experience. If I did not feel I HAD to do this to defend myself and survive, to right a wrong and gain true justice for myself as well as warn the public about very serious matters like war crimes I WOULD NOT BE DOING THIS. Anyone who knew me knows I specialize in being attractive, partying really hard and being creative and mercurial as well ad serious self improvement and of course travel now I realize which probably replaces partying. And of course sex was like a religion.

Why would I waste my time on this? This project has been like an unhappy long forced marriage and if I divorce and walk out I lose everything.

Believe me I could be having a life. And the life I wanted was more interesting and full of pleasures and wealth and fullfulling altruistic urges as well, compared to tthis.

I don't think Americans know how to live. I don't think they understand how to live to the fullest even if you have no money left. They don't know how to utilize the assets they we're born with. Americans misunderstand people like me becuz they don't really know what's out there, I don't think they have seen thousands of years if history in this country to understand that corruption can be very severe and atrocities are real and often in your own backyard.

Americans have this narrow view of older women. That due to being jilted and ditched as well as aging that we are has-beens and thus need to take drastic measures to get power or attention.

Like I said if you believe that about certain women like myself you don't know me at all. I am not some pathetic commoner who needs society to give me approval...which is one of the reasons I am targeted so heavily.

Stop thinking like sheep.