We have two more twisted sisters, two more people that want in on this action. Who probably expect to get mentioned in this blog today but I wont give them that. The very fact I got messed with today tells me something. Especially afterwards when I was outside, Cambridge detective car and marked police behind them drove up to the On The Rise building and the detectives sort of leaned the car inward and then the heavy set one in the passenger seat just looked at me, smiling of course. This may have been coincidence but it may not have been.
See its very hard when your harassment is due to the local authorities protecting connected career criminals. People who didnt get busted during the federal investigations of the people around them. In fact many people who should have gotten in trouble did not. I saw it with my own eyes.
This means that something I put out there lately has made it so I am no longer controlled in their perceptions. Its true that these two women have had a hair across thier asses lately anyway. Too many people at St Patricks know about at least some cover story or that I was exploited and perhaps that I am targeted. But people in shelters are often desperate to get something they need or want and often will sell out anyone to get what they need. People in shelters are a good gauge of how much abuse you can expect from bad people in bad places, however to a very traumatized person, it makes you feel once again that the whole world is against you.
Also one must consider the designers of these campaigns once again whispering in the ears of this faction of the public and getting them to join in harassing the person due to they being desperate to fit in etc.
I started ignoring those two when I realized they were part of a rather shitty and abusive little clique over at St Patricks. But I never went out of my way to disrespect them. One of the women has been a little snot the whole time Ive seen her around anyway, so it was bound to come in my direction. People who are targeted are under such extreme pressure that the average person can not understand what its like. For me to not have given in to a number of negative effects of this campaign I must have a strong sense of inner Self and an inner sanctuary. Some days I do not communicate with people and some I do. Its the only way to survive this.
This is the problem with the human urge to mob as a pack. It can be manipulated within various populations for the benifit of the designers.
For anyone to harass me after what I have been through is outrageous. War crimes sound about right? These are just more tactics to make it easy for the cops, the landlords and my family to not be held responsible for their part in what happened during Bush. Everyone just keeps on deciding to not like Rachael or Rachael's personality or the way Rachael dresses or deals with things or the way Rachael acts. Subconshusly these are ALL tactics to assist corrupt authority in getting away with corruption and oppression. My fight for justice MUST be made into some sort of laughable whining campaign from some insignficant loner. Not the genetic offspring of a documented radiation experimentee who was followed and intimidated out of going to the President's Advisory Committee during Clinton. Not a woman who was ready to go to school and was made sick and damaged for life by an irresponsible NY powerful landlord whos set up was corrupt to begin with. Not a woman who has been so abused that it breaks every human and civil rights laws you can think of she is supposed to have as a citizen. NOPE. I have to once again be made out to be a crank or the bad guy.
This means that something is changed. The system has lost control over me and must regain it or try to upset me and send me packing to another state. Which of course I cannot allow.
Its probably that post this morning about the feds. In fact all of today's events may have been happenstance. One of these women has been a pain in the ass lately anyway. The other day she walked past and said "some people want everyone to think they are exciting when they are not" or something like I dressed as if I were exciting and I am not. I am not the one who is obsessed with Rachael as a celebrity or some sort exciting character. Thats the perps or the onlookers in this. I am simply trying to get a book written that exposes everything that a Survivor goes through when they get Targeted as a whistle blower. And dont try to say I should attempt to enlist the women at these places becuz its useless. They are in the care of a shelter becuz they want housing and are not independent to begin with. Yer wasting yer time. I sleep in one at night after I arrive late from the computer library at a college. I work constantly when I am not sleeping or eating. THAT people can attest to. That is why all my work has to be written off as meaningless or crazy becuz its obvious I am serious about this and do make the effort and have daily for years. THAT kind of dedication has to be personal and of great meaning to the person, so of course it has to be written off as the person being delusional. As if I truly believe in something that isnt true, the person's belief in what they are fighting for has to be invalidated. Its the oppressors only way out.
Its obvious that I have been mistreated and treated very unfairly. The fact that I am ignored and still mistreated in many places I go makes it more obvious that many people will side with corrupt authority instead of do what is right. MOST people it seems. So my fight is very hard. And the people will try to invalidate me, even when they dont know what they are doing. I have seen the designers of these campaigns approach easily swayed types in shelters, whisper in thier ears and then just disappear out the door. As if every single tale about the Devil character is literally true. Its amazing to see this myth acted out in real life. The decievers really DO have a snake like appearance. Not literally, but there is something quiet about thier entrance, you wonder where they came in and when. You didnt see them around earlier. Then after they turn someone against you, they do just vanish it seems. Its like they are pros at this art of sneaking in and then hiding from responsibility after they accomplish thier goals. I have also seen them looking very devilish, all the way up to thier eyes, when coaxing someone into going along with the harassment, you can see plainly the almost hypnotic affect they have on normal gullible human beings who are not capable of critical thinking, and are fooled easily. Its definitely a Satanic look but they are not the stronger Satanic types and so need large mobbing groups where they often coax average people into the mobbing of a Target. Ive seen it. And for someone like me who likes science and logic to actually speak of 'satanic types' its got to be compelling to see first hand.
I think that human beings see these types of people every day we just dont know what we are looking at, as in we have been trained by this culture to be asleep basically and not consider that we are being fooled often.
We live in a society that makes us believe that this vague 'good' or god is with us in daily affairs and keeps society a basically good place and that any occurrence of evil or violence etc is an exception to a rule. We are never trained to accept that there exists in this society, high concentrations of evil that exists as a normal part of this plane of existence. If so it exists naturally in less fortunate cultures not ours. This brainwashing has resulted in overtly evil people and even large groups working towards those ends, existing behind the scenes in our society. This is why no matter how much evidence, organized stalking and harassment is often disbelieved. Americans are trained to believe that the autorities, the religious authorities as well as our politicians keep us safe daily from such evil. The reality is that such evil does exist, its organized and it knows exactly what it is doing and it excels at deception. This evil is hidden in the backround of or society. I realize now that many citizens actually get in on mobbing a Target simply due to the fact they dont want to have to admit that this evil element exists. Its like we spoiled their good time and sense of safety by insisting on their accepting this as reality, so they respond with a hell of a temper tantrum in the form of mobbing or helping the system get rid of the threat. They dont care about right and wrong. They are selfish and only care about retaining what feels good to them and what feels safe.
Since our society doesnt prepare average people to do battle to protect themselves against such a threat, they cave in rather quickly. When you depend on the authorities to keep you safe, when every faction you have been taught is supposed to be a safeguard from total chaos falls away and you are left with harsh reality, you dont want to change the way you perceive the world. Why should you?
Its that one Target they are after so give the system who or what it wants and they figure they can all be left alone to resume the good life uninterrupted. That is exactly the reasoning behind much of society's abandonment of a Targeted Individual. Its just too much bother to do whats right, especially when authority is depending on you to stand by whats wrong. And if they can twist it into looking like its right then all the easier for the people to go along with this.
Its easy since they had alot to work with in my smear campaign. I am a relative nobody with no money, my family wrote me off and sold me out and my enemies are numerous and powerful. Those make the odds very much in the oppressors favor. Its easier to mark me as deserving this and go along with destroying me than to look at what the authorities have done which is to favor rich and connected people who are doing much worse than I ever did.
The public is just to weak I think especially now that Bush broke the country down and Obama and the economy continues to take its toll. The USA is completely owned now by these forces. It was done over time with consideration to any and all resistance. Everything from letting all the crazies onto the street by shutting down the institutions to crack becoming popular and making the streets a mess and also increasing the homeless population. Everything came in at once to create a society more and more dependent on security, cameras everywhere and zero tolerance authorities. Cop shows and now detective/FBI shows back up the notion that authority is flawless and every vigilant to catch the bad guys, the bad guys never being them however. There has been such an influx of propadanda, social engineering and create-a-problem/solve-a-problem since Reagan that one can see how we ended up here.
I also think its very strange that Reagan is the one that wanted to use these technologies overtly in the ways they are being used now covertly, and he is the one who shut down all the mental institutions. I dont know why this never clicked before. It is so obvious. He must have known, it must have been part of the plan. To know that this tech was going to be used in public spaces to manage such populations and of course if a govt is using punitive psychiatry to frame up dissidents and whistle blowers, people like me are going to end up being pushed into that population.
This must be what that man in AZ in the library meant when he said that I would be a very lonely person if I tried to tell the truth about what happened. Its too late now anyway. I just have to stay on the road I chose and keep going. The more people get in my way then its obvious I need to finish this.
As a seasoned TI I have been rather suspect of these two women anyway. In my experience, perps changing thier hair styles or the women going to obvious efforts to beautify themselves when this was not a concern of thier before, is a red flag. Male perps often get mohawks for some reason (young and old) and women go to lengths to get nice hair dos. I always thought the female reaction was extreme jealousy and comeptitiveness but when I had the same experiences with the men acting like it was some rite of passage, and seeing as this IS cult mind control, I knew it was more than appearances- or coincidence.
Firstly these women are in a social group at St Patricks that both knows at least part of my story, probably the cover story, and has displayed the tendency to sit back and allow aggressive members to go on tangents for hours of making fun of other residents out loud like during card games in the kitchen- all strangely ignored by staff. I mean like every woman that passed by got picked on loudly. This clique is part of the reason I lost my temper and told off staff. This group of women created an intimidating group within the shelter and it was impossible to live with it for long, without my computer anyway.
These two women are from that group. Both of them didnt really seem very interested in their appearences as far as making an impression of being above average attractive. In time after being there one of them got that creepy way about her that I have seen women go through around me being a TI in a certain area. This is the kind of change one sees in women if they get a new boyfriend or if they get some extra money or a new job. However, these changes seem motivated by their newfound hatred of me as a Target. Its happened often enough for me to recognize it as a genuine sign of something going on not just coincidence. Also this crowd has turned nasty against one of its members lately, with her complaining of being mobbed basically and I see she is isolated whereas before these women were her friends. Her best friend from her youth who she brought in to the fold in the shelter has turned on her it seems in favor of this group. When a group becomes active in mobbing its obvious by a few signs.
Firstly it will not only start going against a person like myself who is already a known and major target who is isolated from all support, the group will go through changes like mobbing one of thier own. Also like I mentioned, changes in physical appearance affecting more than one member. A good number of the women get beautiful new hairstyles that are much prettier than before and they keep up that appearence now like a new image not just a new hairdo. They also take on a new attitude with such physical changes. Whereas I was happy to ignore them once I felt a bit of animosity coming my way once it started, and we just seemed to ignore and tolerate each other, now the new do's, the mobbing of one of thier own members, NOW we see more ballsy and flagrant behavior towards the TI. In plain terms the group gets activated, they become organised, mobilize- they become nasty. Also a few members have moved on to other programs or shelters and that may cause changes as well. Perhaps those members completed the circle somehow and now they are gone the other members feel insecure. One of the women I had trouble with today who has in the last few weeks gotten more overt in her being underhandedly bitchy to me I just learned had gone to a new shelter in that time frame. This means whatever checks and balances were keeping her in line in the other environment are not gone, perhaps even a more active or gang stalking connected group is in the new shelter.
I asked one of the group what was going on with those two and I was received with a not typical response from one individual which also indicates something has shifted in the groups dynamics. Something has been lost or something has given way for them to become more flagrant in thier attitudes. Mobbing a popular one of thier own is a kind of rite of passage to going after stronger people like myself. To sacrifice someone in the group builds their hunting confidence for more wild prey. If I had the time or energy or effort I would certainly show them that they are messing with the wrong animal to hunt. It would be fairly easy, the group is weak and the women are weak, dependent on the system. I do NOT have the time and I also have to take into consideration that with human beings especially of the lower education levels these games are usually unconshus. They probably cant take into consideration what I have been through in total as they probably dont know or are coaxed into not believing by some nastier, real perps within the shelter or social group who keep up the smear campaigns. Also my behavior if not fully understood is very easily misconstrued as rudeness, being aloof etc. For women that need a highly social environment to exist, who only trust those that sit down and chat with them about who they are and what their plans are, my secretivness, mood swings and aloofness must strike them as suspect if not outright off putting.
I dont have the energy to explain what I am doing or what I have been through to every social group I end up burning through. Many of these women will not accept it as reality anyway and then they are not only a security risk with information, they are also a risk at lowering my overall strength by having me trust them only to be betrayed again, which in the case of the women at that shelter almost happened. I got comfortable a few too many times and took time to help one or two of them only to not have mutual support myself later. I then realized that I had gotten tired and was not dealing with travelers who you can depend on some and others you cant and that is obvious from the beginning. People that are dependent on shelters and need the system usually are NOT good wheeler-dealers in tit for tat, trading, bartering or other social means or business means of gaining loyalty or support quickly within a social setting. Thier whole way of operating is much slower and much harder to deal with as they seem to not be able to gauge who to trust as quickly as travelers size each other up and in fact, travelers and outsider homeless get frustrated with not being able to size them up either as they dont present quickly enough to have anything to gauge BY. In the end both parties disappoint each other usually. Housy homeless people who enjoy being inside, where its safe in a strong social group that depends on an overseeing system of authority, are not to be trusted. One difference is thier tolerance for mobbing. Not only is it nasty its usually cowardly. If you talked about people like that in a traveling tribe/camp or outside homeless there would be consequences. Like you might not have a place to sleep and enjoy the safety of the group any longer if you cant act civilly and responsibly. On top of that, if you did get consequences for those actions, they might consist of getting stabbed, beaten or roughed up or robbed. I notice that the bs that housy homeless people pull is usually stuff they can get away with becuz staff is right there. They know that no one can take care of the problem so its very cowardly in nature. The problem with a place like On The Rise is that it houses women from St Patrick's daily and really they are the majority there. Its very peaceful on days they stay in due to snow or what have you. When just the hard up homeless women are there its an entirely different atmosphere.
This comes at a time when I am dealing with another health issue brought about by my own stupidity and is making me drag my ass and very tired. That may also be a reason for the attacks..they see the strong pack member weaken so they go after them. In my case, my being healthy and appearing strong is very important to how people react to me right now. My whole project depends on it actually. So this is not a good thing. I feel like there will be an attempt in the following weeks to go in for the kill. Like get me good or bait me with something or get me put away. Not only am I too close with the realization that I can sue perhaps for the harassment across the nation with people intimating they are feds, I am also getting alot done and the system is losing control over me.
I sense danger and I am being urged to leave and come back in a few months. Like I am in danger if I stay here, but seriously this time. Also much of my support group from Harvard is gone now, due to the weather and a few went away for some time for stupid stuff of thier own doing. One of my lesbian friends has a very bad temper with her lover and shes gone for months now due to that. People see this. They see that I have been harassed out of Harvard Homeless Shelter by Kirsten, a woman who has to cover her ass to not get caught in many lies. That my friends are no longer seen with me at On The Rise or Woods Mullen. My writing has gotten even more bold and I am putting things out here and being brutally honest which of course is never popular.
Its a very good time for the predators to re asses the situation I would say. Pretty soon I wont be welcome at OTR anymore if they can push me far enough. That awful older heavyset woman saw me today after days of my not being there and did NOT like the fact I had returned. You could tell. She was one of the original people in Woods Mullen who had the bad taste to actually make fun of my situation, the cover story only of course. Recently another TI has gotten wind of her being a very negative person who cannot be trusted and I think that makes staff as well as people like her nervous. Very nervous.
I have to stay for my health, I cant leave especially not now with this other issue I have to take care of, which might prove very difficult due to my not being able to take medicines. All I know is that i need to stay here right now and leaving is not an option though I keep telling myself to do so for a few months and come back.
More and more I come into full realization about what happened and how outrageous it is and thus, the system must react with more trauma, more intimidation and more put downs to put me back to sleep again and make me docile once more.
