This is very revealing. I didnt know that the last bunch of texts didnt go through due to the system thinking it was spam. What I did notice is that it was a strange day of not feeling grounded or protected. After I started posting the missing texts manually I got this grounded feeling. This feeling of calm and protection returned again.
And I note that I was f*cked with today when I usually am not and if I am I feel powerful like I could handle it. Like I have amour on from all my collective experiences.
The way these events line up, it almost would seem that some other faction is observing and when and if they feel that I am being blocked, have failed as in lost some work or had a loss of a major kind like that or perhaps that the powers that be are no longer standing by me and are blocking my posts- it gives them motivation to attack. I knew I was supported in some way but I did not realize my success was THIS pivotal on some outside force. Like the second I get blocked completely some other faction will come in for the kill as it indicates I am no longer supported or protected by..whoever/whatever.
In the shelter the b*tches in there can be overheard saying that some forces or parties unmentioned are sticking with me. Thier words exactly. I love the fact that the worst people seem to know what is going on and I am so clueless. When you've got your own grandmother as well as yer devious mother and now shelter rats having more control over your life than you do it is very demeaning. And that is its purpose guaranteed. None of these conditions shud exist. Shelter rats should not know about sophisticated covert warfare, unless the homeless 'problem' is actually a major creation of covert factions.
NONE of this shud be. I shud never have experienced so much high level covert warfare coming from what seemed like homeless people in a shelter, especially the crazy appearing ones who got away with very damaging directed conversation as there was only one party involved- them!
And I like to forget (to rest a bit) that Woods Mullen and Long Island shelters were the worst for these experiences and the most frequent in this area. Pine Street Inn had more stupid stuff they'd pull more so to just get me pissed off.
But Pine St had more informants dropping information. Good information. And some very stupid ploys in the beginning to misdirect me which were obviously transparent and badly crafted. Telling me to act like a crazy person and get labeled was a bit too easy to see through. Especially with that blonde jerk at McCleans trying to get me to take anti psychotics so that I would appear mentally ill in documentation. All tricks. Also some blonde jerk was singing the exact Joni Mitchell tunes I loved to sing in my apartment I had just lost as well as in one conversation she said something about being "seen coming in and out of the drug dealers house". What drug dealer? Jake my ex? He was my lover not my dealer. I think they were trying to bait me with again going to the feds and blabbing about another building with a drug runner (didnt know that til much later) in it on another floor but that wasnt where I was going in that building.
This was the second time that I was being gaslighted into going to the FBI and giving information about myself or my associates without a subpeona. This was also done by a horrid Italian bleach blonde from Revere I met in NA who turned out to be dealing drugs the whole time. The Brighton cops cut us off one day outside my house and said "OK girls, give up the drugs". When my mother questioned the cops through her connections from Kens Pub in the 70's they told her there was a dealer living downstairs from me and not to blow thier investigation. WHich doesnt make sense looking back becuz if they knew so much about my building why would they not know I lived there. They accused us of having only a downstairs key which a dealers best customers get to thier buildings usually. I had both keys so they left with thier tails between thier legs. I was also being trolled by police and blue vans around that apartment building so thier story doesnt add up. If yer stalking me around my building then you know I live there f*ckers.
Also, the guy who sent this woman to tell me he got busted and would I please just waltz into the FBI and start giving them incriminating information about myself having to do with adult entertainment the answer was NO. Again no subpeona. And people around me in the drug world were always trying to set me up to mule drugs when obviously I was a mess and would be caught right away. There was some kind of price out on me even then. Medical people were with few exceptions abusive jerks who would be fired if I knew how to defend myself back then.
So these attempts had always been going on. I really noticed this however around the time of the President's Advisory Committee. But looking back I had always been gang stalked, always had home entries, always 'bad luck'.
Its just during 2003, when I experienced suicide programming that same system went into overdrive and came after me without stopping. My own mother creeped me out especially after my grandfather died in May 2002.
I cant kid myself that there wasnt always harassment, stalking, attempts to get me jailed, bad luck, constant rude people in public, weird people showing up on buses or my jobs, men in cars stalking me often I got the feeling if they could get me in the car that would be it. In fact even as a kid these weirdos would show up and once I got a lic plate and the cops found out they were notorious child rapists. Thats the point really. Why was I targeted for so long since childhood with these weirdos? My grandmother in the foster home wouldnt let me out of her sight. The people I interacted with were minimal. The kids I played with were chosen.
So after a lifetime of this, I wasnt too keen on waltzing into an FBI office in 96 or 2006 for that matter. If it was so important then why was I never given the respect of understanding what was going on? Why was it always so veiled in mystery and darkness? Like sending a lamb off into a dark doorway that ends up being the slaughterhouse. My own mother with her "creative" lawyer couldnt tell me what was going on or give me advice to seek cousel, when she seemed to have superior knowledge of the situation? Always being controlled, always being told to walk into some FBI office without being told to get a lawyer.
Programmed people are MPD/DID and compartmentalized--not STUPID. You cant program stupid people. They cant think in abstract so forget it.
This has more to do with the missing years of memory, before the age of 6. And so many of the people in on the harassment turn out to be weirdo pervs. Like that landlord in Arlington. Always my cat was in the hallway, meaning someone got into my apartment. He lived with his mother and he as like 40. OK I left owing rent. So sue me dont play a part in a psychological warfare campaign- by showing up on a bus during my fight with OLNICK to sue them for the moldy apartment, and giving me f*cked up stares like some ghost from the past I owe rent to. Another psychological cue. Basically saying 'you owe rent to other landlords, so you have no right to sue this one. You deserve this, just drop it'. What amazes me is that such a person, from so many years ago can be enlisted into a campaign against someone at any time.
Dont even get me started about how a man who looked just like Chuck Pettiti showed up in Burlington VT on a bus and gave me looks like 'dont do this. dont go through with yer suit'. It was probably one of his brothers as his sister told me she had multiple brothers...when her mother sent her to move furniture instead of her brothers (ah Barbara, why does that sound like something you would do to your kid? Especially your female kid. LOL)
Burlington VT. Thats where so many look alikes were used. That particular campaign there. They didnt seem to have as much remote influence tech in use as MA so of course, rule of thumb is expect to get plastered by in person harassment. Look alikes are NOT the same as doubles. Doubles are to fool someone into thinking that IS the intended person of imitation at a certain time or place. I saw a Double of me in St Louis in a soup kitchen line. Alot of the black homeless there suck but many of them are very cool due to everyone hating the YUPpies in Soulard. Who actually tried to make nice with me, I was just harassed too much to make nice right then. One of these guys pointed out that this woman looked just like me. She disappeared after I took note of her.
A Look Alike is someone or usually a group of them around the area of the Target, that has a resemblance, usually a strong family resemblance to key people in the TI's life. In Burlington VT I never saw so many short or skinny versions of Jake my ex in my life running around one small city. This was still gs unaware era but I knew it was some sort of bs anyway. It was very mind f*cking however.
I went off there for a moment. I sound just like one of those old CIA guys who cant talk about something without having memories bleed through from compartments.
Well then. Now you fully understand how the poor old bastards get that way now. A bit of brain damage and alot of harassment most likely starts to destroy the mind and things just unravel from there. Seems pretty standard actually.
And it sucks by the way.
