“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Perp Tactics or Just Male Stupidity?

There has been this trend in the co ed shelter I am in for 2 weeks, that these older guys will sit next to me and while they are doing whatever they do on the computer they talk incessently to stress me out and distract me. I personally think that as of right now its in the perp zone, positive for that kind of motiviation for activity. However, it could just be the kind of real stupidity shared among desperate, older males that probably dont get any. And since there are a few guys here from the time frame years ago when the harassment was quite active I wouldnt doubt that all it takes is some idiot who only knows the cover story to tell them just the juicy bits of that and viola! instant formula for harassment by a little cabal of males.

And then there is the black guy who, during the daylight hours is pretty friendly with me and I think of as someone I like to talk to out in the street but at night he gets weird. He will just sit there looking very tired, (probably drunk) and just look at me usually from a point of view where I catch him doing this long after he as been there for a while. He'll either sit behind me when I am on the computer or he'll sit in front of the TV set but facing away from it towards me. Every time I catch him looking he looks away nervously. He's just weird when he does this at night and its not the same person as during the day. Its very unsettling.

I cant quite figure out if this is just normal creepy weirdness for weirdo loser guys or if men by nature just stalk women no matter what the circumstances.
Or is it due to something they hear about a women or pheromones...or is it gang stalking outright and due to my being so worn down from a few health conditions as well as by the weather I am not noticing it and it is purposeful gang stalking to wear me down as usual?

What would the end result be? It only makes me tired, drained and want to eat all the time out of nerves. But this area of the country and this small area specifically has always been home to men who want to keep wearing me down into being a nervous wreck or seem to want to keep at me so I am constantly leaking energy or being drained. I dont know if its just a Boston thing, due to the very subtle sexist undertones here where men feel so threatened just as they did by my mother before me. They hate me for the most part they f*cking resent the sh*t out of me.

In Walgreen's Central sq today two white dudes were behind me, kinda straight lookin and I looked back to see if the pharmacy was open. They had to receive this by once again not being able to mind thier own business and becoming engaged with this. I know my vibes were right as they always are due to the fact that the cashier was a big woman who then looked behind me and stared them the f*ck out of whatever territorial bullsh*t they were pulling. She totally dominated. Which is why most likely she was a very big lesbian or in fact a male who was transgender who looked very convincing as a woman. Either way we had a wonderful conversation about my coins I recieved pan handling that were from Shang Hi as she informed me they are usually not allowed out of the country- best of all while she told this to me she made everyone behind me wait. HA ha HA.

What gives? Why am I so hunted by males? its worse now than when I was young, much thinner and model pretty. I just cannot figure any of this out. Is it American males who act this way or is it just this area? Is it gang stalking related and they either know the cover story or they are agents locally either way, do they hate me for staying sane and staying alive? As well as I am going to write a book to fry thier asses and their bosses asses as well, but that is besides the point. These f*ckers hate me the way this system hated my mother. And if they dont want me to make things worse , which I could, then they better all back the f*ck off in day to day activity.

In case these fools havent noticed I am alot smarter and alot bolder than my mother and hers. I could set up a sopa box in Central Sq and just start loudly giving names, picadillos and other tasty info about every single person that I have ever known, including thier most valuable work mules who pay off well.
I cud read numbers off my phone book. If its the FBI