“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Action at the Harvard Coop

First of all you have to remember that the Harvard Co Operative Society has been bought out (destroyed) like everything else genuine nowadays by a corporate entity. It still masquerades as its original name but it is owned by a large chain bookstore now.

This being said its not surprising that very VERY subtle gang stalking tactics occur there and have over the years of this being 24/7.

I sat between two older men on the second floor. One is someone I faintly recall seeing around Harv Sq off and on over the years. He's got green eyes, bags under his eyes, glasses on his nose he's slightly overweight and has looks like your average homeless male in the area who dresses well enough to fit into the Cambridge scene. Or is housed somehow in the area but its very cheap.

I have noted that this population demographic in this area has been aware of my situation usually and in on the gs to a very lesser extent. These men tend to be losers of life and usually they share in common an intense anger towards women either thier mothers, thier ex wives or both as they are blamed for their predicament readily. I know this from talking to these men over many years in this area.

Once the man on the right left only THEN did this man start to tap his boot on the seat of the chair he had it resting on. He was taking up two seats by doing this so I was in the third seat. It was very obvious that he did this either becuz he knew exactly who I was or he had assessed I was white trash of some kind and he could get away with it. My having a computer did not deter him. My pulling out my internet stick caused him to immediately stop tapping and also to re adjust his body language so that he was no longer resting his foot on the seat and acting like a male lion lounging in his jungle with his balls hanging out. He changed to sitting properly and even hunched over after changing into this position.

This man is obviously from the 70's or 60's and my showing that I paid bills as well as had internet which later he revealed in conversation with someone else, he was unfamiliar with, seemed to strike a chord with him or trigger a reaction probably making me seem independent, empowered and with access to being able to tell on his sorry ass what he was doing to be, tell the whole world, which is what I am doing right now.

What was interesting is that the tapping he was doing with his boots was actually triggering to me. I felt sexually controlled or aroused against my will, and controlled at the same time by this action and thus, felt a very strong feeling of him trying to gain control over me, via triggering sexual arousal in this way.

I think thats pretty drastic for something I am only supposed to be imagining or doesnt exist.

He reminded me of a John or a pedophile, and in my experience they can often be one in the same one never realizes it however.

I also noticed another geeky older man behind me in the reflection of my computer screen looking at me throughout this as well as looking at the man doing the boot tapping. I took note of this, snapped a photo. After he realized this, the man behind me picked up his magazine and started reading it in earnest, which is what he should have been doing the whole time instead of screwing around with whatever the hell this nonsense was. He left soon afterward but before the green eyed possible perp.

The green eyed older jerk then was greeted by a younger more ethnic looking friend who started conversation of which I dont know the content. I did take my earphones off at a point after the guy behind me left just to see what they were talking about. It was sports and it seemed a bit contrived but it may have just been an awkwardness between the two socially.

I kept looking over at the green eyed man as I wrote that description of him above. His gaze in return is hard, even frightening with something murderous or cold within. Not to the extreme but...it was there. On the last glance he met he shook his head at me as he was agreeing with his friend who had accepted the invitation to go to UNO's to get some sort of food. Interestingly, creepy males who seem like stalkers have been staring at me of late and when I look at them when they wont look away they look right into my eyes and give a small nodding gesture. What is this communication? Is it from something that was put on the internet as has been hinted over the years that was revealing and now I have men who have seen this and now 'acknowledge' me in public being subtle or is this just a way of the stalkers saying that they are still obsessed and still around and now due to me surviving have respect/fear but want to let me know that they are still watching? Personally I dont give a sh*t either way as I have no control over what this system does with vid/audio it takes under false pretenses and then markets whatever way it does. If perps have told me that surveillance videos have been sold off for entertainment then I can only assume that the abuses of power are never ending and without limits.

After the two men left and I was writing this some b*tch behind me with dark hair, young, I caught her looking at the screen. It may have been just curiosity as I notice that younger generations think nothing of literally spying on one's computer screen.

She seemed to sense me turn around and look at her somewhat hard for a good moment or two to give her the message that it wasnt appreciated. She then left some time later.

You have to understand that when I sat down originally between the two men at this counter I was relatively happy and satisfied to have no earphones on or computer and just be reading a book left behind on said counter by a former patron. The moment the tapping started I was triggered and then put on my earphones and started my computer.

I also note that when he started his tapping nonsense I looked at him just to see what he would do even though I have been through this so many times I know its either fruitless or it just adds to the perp's sense of power. He glanced up as if he had full dominion over the area and over the whole situation and as I mentioned it was evident in his body language.

There are many many men who victimize women in small ways daily along one's way and really it probably wouldnt affect younger women who are strong, involved in thier lives and always have friends or boy friends with them. These men go after women they think are vulnerable and from my experience and also due to the specifics of my situation there also seems to be an entire nationwide network of such males who deeply want to control the women they so hate that they blame not only for thier own situations in life but for the fall of western society due to feminism. If they are in on prostitution or pedophilia they seem to harass Target's acting as perpetrators for the organized stalking/harassment system.

Its hard to tell what level this was on. Was it just random and I appeared vulnerable prey? Was it the second level where he and even his friend knew who I was as far as the cover story and local forces so he is assisting the cops as well as my old associates and her clients to keep me quiet and get rid of me or drive me nuts etc etc? Or is it all the way up to the third level where these men know I am a survivor of programming/mind control and am now heavily targeted/managed by constant 'gang stalking' as well as other parts of the gang stalking system?

Its hard to tell and I usually try to assess that but sometimes its so subtle that one just cannot.
Due to the location being a city that is familiar with me for years as well as these men being locals one can see I am betting on level 2 or 3.

Also this bookstore has been a place I have experienced extremely subtle stalking/harassment and its been a bit fascinating each time as the tactics pulled here are amazingly quiet, subtle and organized. Its a quiet bookstore and they certainly pull it off successfully in relation to the public space its conducted in.

Most annoying is the black security guard who sticks out like a sore thumb. He looks like a classic thug, complete with one messed up eye he squints out of. I would expect nothing less old money racist or dramatic from Harvard than that. He fits the part perfectly. He is meant to stand out you see as this way this stuck up crowd see him as do any potential thieves.

The reason he is annoying is not only that a few years ago myself and a kid named PolarBear were in here at a table when he, complete with his trench coat made for Bogart, was slinking or in his case strutting around the establishment and making sure we saw that he had seen US. And then there was some drama with the fire and ambulance once that really solidified my understanding the relationship between private security guards, cops, fire and ambulance in day to day duties and emergencies and that this also seemed to be a close relationship within the frame work of Organized Stalking and Harassment campaigns on a Target.

He also has this habit this year I am here of trying to get my attention but being on the road targeted for many years I have become hard and very unimpressed with anything but the most overt actions around me or towards me...and even then I have little reaction. He constantly goes after street people who thieve this place and makes a big drama outside in the alley usually throwing them out. This occurred recently and I just sat there very unaffected eating my sandwich. He looked at my backpack and clothes and tried to make like I was the receiver of the goods waiting outside or that I was with this street guy and I just sat there and watched like it was a movie with popcorn. Becuz that is how he acts that is what he deserves.

Every time I see him he looks at me with that one eye and I just ignore him but he does piss me off its probably due to his sense of specialness..being the pitbull for the rich-people-book-store has this little guy in a big body very in love with his very individual and lone role in this high status community.

He also looked at me today eating in the alley way while he was smoking a cigarette. With his usual sense of overblown drama, done in the context of his 'store detective undercover' role he plays so badly, he whipped out of the door very quickly then stopped on a dime to look at me hoping I would be caught by surprise. Considering this is nothing less than MORE harassment and intimidation or trying to get yer jollys off a vulnerable woman by scaring her, I just looked at him with that blank look I now give everyone and everything in the world that tries to catch me off guard. Its one thing that the perps are starting to understand: nothing scares me anymore and I am not afraid of anyone, unless of course its a real threat. When this f*cker gets abducted on a Grey hound bus, gassed out of the air pump thing near the light above passenger's head, f*cked with and humiliated, then gets gassed again to be woken up....when that happens to YOU dude then you can understand why no normal human beings scare you anymore.

The things I have seen this system experimenting on human beings with is so far removed from the insular world of cops, mob guys, rich kids and uppity blacks here in Yankee town, as well as the rest of the country that is out there to be experienced, I believe now that only THEY, the Massholes themselves are fascinated with their own dreary, repetitive existence. The rest of the country doesnt care except for a few stupid movies by the shills in Hollywood from here namely Matt Damon, Marky Mark Wahlberg and Ben Affleck.

This place exists in a vacuum that its money and roots provide and only THEY are impressed with the old bore power plays. Take most of these Massholes and put them in St Louis, So Cal, El Paso or the mid west during the onset of a freezing winter when the Arctic winds start to come down the ever tough and smart Massholes would be shitting the bed longing for thier Unions, thier colleges, thier old money,thier military contractors, their cops and thier mob buddies all of which make up a disgustingly spoiled and truly soft way of life compared to most of the rest of the USA. Yankees are taught to think quickly and think ALOT if not all the time, THAT is our edge in any battle, that and a frighteningly naive view of the system that readily includes organized crime like corruption.

On a bus the other day a man was discussing with me this old building owned by the city near Brighton on the way to Watertown. Its a great old structure that forms an enclosed circle and takes up a good amount of space. The city is repairing it but wont take it down and rebuild. His first thought was "Gee, you'd think they'd just burn it down and get it done". What he meant of course was have an 'accidental' fire and then insurance would pay etc etc. It made me realize just how long I have been away, how much of the rest of the country does not innocently believe that crime is a part of the system. Even my Boston/Cambridge born habit of rabid jay walking has been curbed due to many other cities frowning upon it, drivers who will just mow you the hell down instead of be tolerant as well as in places like Portland OR you get ticketed for it.

This is why the northeast scares people and well it should. It scares them and pisses them off. This place is totally corrupt but the structure ensures they are totally guarded against any retribution from wrong doing. I have to say I have suffered from this in my situation but I get the impression I have also benefited from it. Many of the people and organizations that wronged me got theirs in recent years. Like I was told my that hissing bitch Lenny who works at the Women's Lunch Place: "Rachael, (you) have friends". I dont want to know anything more about it really. For all I know those "friends" might be my old associates, my family's connections, NASA related from space kids experiments or CIA or....who can tell? I certainly cant. And with people coming up to me in NM talking about police connections I can only imagine. Who cares at this point? I may be alive and half sane still but I still have an ebony McGruff crime dog up my ass every time I am around the Coop trying to write, read or think. I still get needled by the brats who think the system won and I am on the street becuz I am stupid not becuz I am living like a rebel fighter should- outside the system as much as possible or outside of anything that will interfere with the cause. Shelters interfere with my book, therefore for me they no longer exist. Getting housed usually ends up in a perp nightmare experience. This also gets in the way of my work. Therefore that is avoided.

But this moron thinks I am this female victim who now is so humbled that he is going to jump out of his cage at high speed then light his cigarette while trying to gain the power of startling an already shattered female psyche.

Guess again fat f*cker. All he got from me was the look I give every clown involved in this and that is a wall. You arent impressive and after the millisecond it takes to assess you as NOT a threat to my immediate well being YOU WILL NO LONGER EXIST.

Still they insist on moves to gain power from someone they know they have assisted to drive insane and put out on the street.

What is most annoying lately is thier lack of resistance. They no longer are trying to be tough and hard as they believe I am already broken down and humbled (HAHAHAHAH LOL) so now they show what mercy this scum is capable of, by looking right at me with some sort of pity (what little emotion sociopaths/psychopaths/cult mind controlees are capable of mustering up at all) usually after pulling something like this to get my attention. Those of us who are sane and truly human know that if they truly had compassion for thier fellow human beings or for a woman so wounded that they would not draw attention to the situation at all or to themselves.

Every single male and female in this system treats the TI like a gang rape victim which is what this system does to break you down to behavior modification. Through systematic rapes they familiarize themselves with the Target and disgustingly over time this breeds a familiarity between Target and Perp that is even more vile and revolting than the original offensive acts committed during the breaking down phase.

Remember if they only know the cover story then they believe they are only dealing with a lowly and expendable adult entertainment worker.
If they know the whole story, programming and all then the attitude is THE SAME if not worse in judgment becuz then they are truly in on the pedophile networks who choose the victims and thier families for programming. If they werent that sick as to be involved, they wouldnt know about the existence of such a network to begin with unless they were a victim/Target.

The harassment I have experienced in the Co Op has been mostly people doing stuff behind me as they walk by and its very much based on anchoring. I had once typed something onto my screen after enlarging it, such as telling them off or similar and this seemed to not only piss off some people involved it stopped it from continuing...which of course shows that I was sensing gang stalking games going on correctly.

That is unless you subscribe to the popular theory that I am just nuts, probably like my father etc etc.
I have been getting the impression that outlook is very popular now and is going to be pushed from here on in as the ultimate answer for everything about me from my behavior to my lifestyle to all the contents of my work. Which tells me that I have to keep going becuz that did not seem to be focused on before as it is now.

Perhaps since I have been back I appear weaker and my ways eccentric or that of a homeless person who is mentally ill or that my sleeping outside coupled with my blog content is only explained away with that theory.
It could also be part of the push to get confession out of me, as I would do so to counter theories about my sanity but confession is dangerous. It proves MK Ultra works on programmed persons and also it is a stage of a successful behavior modification program.

Here is a pic of the creepy skinny old guy. He is in a white t-shirt:

Here is the woman behind me that was so nosy:

Its the best shot I could get from a reflection. She is facing the computer screen her back to the wall.

You have to remember that the more I fight back in this manner the more crazy and paranoid I look to the general public. It would be so easy right now to just write me off as insane like my father has been labeled, say its genetic and that is the end of the story with Rachael. Its probably already been done and the jerks involved are all just continuing to manage it from that perspective. Its amazing to me that an entire society can go along with this and be alright with me losing everything I had and everything I could have had in my future. To destroy me and delegate me to just being a mentally ill street person when in fact that is far from what I am and what I could have been.

This young kid rode by on a kids bike when I was in Kenmore either last year or the year before when it was heavy harassment. He said "freedom isnt free". Obnoxious as hell really. Its amazing the amount of people who know I was trying to make something of my life who seemed to be into getting me to fight harder than I should have against a system of oppression that actually turns hard fight against the victim.

This all could have been random but the location as well as the people involved indicates some sort of knowledge of me as a TI not just a random female the guys could mess with. The tapping as trigger is a huge indicator as well as this type of male is often a perp.

The only person who even seems like they could have been random is the female behind me. Interestingly I finish this a day later as the photo of the male involved was blocked from my uploading it properly upon this incident occurring.