“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Satanic buffoons, LaVey's 'bible' and some more memories from the gang stalking wars...oh and the masculine ideal is God

I cant get that out of my head: the arrogance of it- "You're going to have to try something else" or "what you're doing isnt working". Mind your own business.
What would these losers have me do, return to my old lifestyle? I am sure they would love that as proof of the effectiveness of thier system to run bitches into the ground until they start behaving again.

The old squat got blown but it was unhealthy anyway. Two days ago someone left a box there with old sneakers, a book by Niezsche and LaVey's Satanic Bible.
Niezsche with the Satanic Bible was so cliche it was worse than a sit com..I took the Niezsche book becuz he had a brain and I tore up the 'bible' becuz LaVey was an idiot.
Oh yes, post McCarthy ism 1950's lets look like Lenin to freak everybody out. Dont forget the theatrics..and his close relationship with Aquino. And then one has to ask who his real employers were.
His daughter does not piss me off however for some reason, and I have seen her in interviews sujecting herself to being asked questions by biased, annoying talk show hosts. I often wondered if she does not purposely go along with such a thing just in order to become rebellious and contrary in the face of such people's attitudes. Why not just get someone who is totally neutral or even someone sympathetic? In these instances of course I find the interviewer annoying...but her and her werewolf husband are kind of scary. But not...totally unfamiliar to what has always been on our planet.
I just dont understand work a day Judeo Christian society having such a problem with thier existence...and if so then do something about it. The interviewer treated them both like children and was sort of scolding them for believing in such things.
Its like sensible adults in the normal reality dont want to admit such forces exist- which is stupid becuz as you can plainly see it only affords them ultimate power. Denial is great tool to hide behind.

What is annoying is though is that I looked through the copy of the 'bible' and noted that there wasnt a page in there that I know I had seen before. Perhaps I was tired from just getting up and missed it as I skimmed. The page I was looking for had a symbol on it..one that I recall did indeed have a charge to it and seemed to establish a spell in this dimension as it was in my possession- which of course would not be possible probably without all the techno tricks they can use now.
Its one of the weirdest parts of my story.
In the beginning of all this in that apartment I lived in it seems that some sect of Satanism decided to start getting cute with me..I was compelled at one point to go out and purchase a copy of that book which is bs becuz years ago I looked at it and knew it just was not for me. It seemed..uh, silly. Or somehow lacking in some sort of energy I require. Much of is read as if it were contrived or plagerized and it had a darkness to it that seemed fabricated. It wasnt 'evil' so much as it was..distant. vacant. Empty or lacking. It may be fine for some people to study but it just was not my thing. I was attracted moreso to Hermetics and something more complicated yet very simple- dark as well as light.

So it pisses me off along with every thing else that has happened that I was so influenced as to go and pick up a book that I knew years ago was not for me or not something I liked to read. THAT might be one of the most punishable offenses in all of this- dont fuck with books. There is something about books I take very seriously. I sleep with books for comfort and I have had dreams repeatedly of strange interesting places with books in them- and I am ALWAYS welcome to read or possess knowledge- no matter what else is going in my life.

So to have some sort of weird remote influence by forceful means get me to take a book into my possession or my home (temple) that I had Willfully decided decades ago was not part of my collections, is a definate indicator that somehting is very wrong and whats going on is NOT natural.
And its so insulting..LaVey? Now there is an indication that people believe you to be just white trash right there. The Church of Satan is not exactly high status in the long magickal history of humans is it? It was like being sent to the county jail to do time- just plain embarassing.

Hmmm, what do you think the Egyptians or the Babylonians would have thought of a carny con man from an era as contrived as 'The 60's'? Lacking in taste? Most certainly.

Death would have been preferable..anything is preferable to something that 'cheap'. And it wasnt even pulled off with the obvious sense of humor or weirdness that LaVey himself had a touch of obviously. It was so damn dramatic and oohhh, heavy. Oooo, SCARY. Fucking Halloween or some sh*t. Fucking embarassing really.

There is one thing you morons have to understand about eastern European people and Slavs- there is always an innate humor- a bizarre absurdity that comes with everything we do- its purpose may most likely be becuz being smart we can afford buffonery or so we like to think. Putting dead seriousness into something like LaVey's work just smacked of inauthenticity. Fools were up to something but I did not quite know the extent of it then.

Most laughable, and amazing as to how it was pulled off, was a dream sequence I woke up to that lasted throughout my morning hours of his daughter, who in 2004 or so in my strange experience, still had her dark hair, drew me in and it was being attempted to convince me that if I only would ask of her father I would recieve thinsg that I wished to have- but the whole thing was so....petty and I definately felt like more of a prisoner than I ever had in my life before. There was something very limited about my existence in this strange..er, 'place' or dimension. I wasnt going for it thats for sure.
The most amusing part of this con was the perception given that LaVey now resided in what we would call 'Hell' but he had his own little level of it- like an efficiency apartment or condo gift from Satan.
It must suck being put into a little dimension when I read recently that he was convinced he was going to reside next to Satan in Hell. Satan's condos. Interdimensional condo's for the metaphysical after life- get yours now.

I was not about to spend any life on earth or any of eternity with Anton LaVey in what metaphysically amounted to a creepy basement apartment so I fought these ideations and visions. This I believe was an early attempt at what TI's are experiencing now as 'remote influence'. And yes, I believe its either normal person's messing with tech or psychics messing with tech as amplifiers. It was all to false and contrived, and I believe I looked it up after wards years later and his daughter's hair had been blonde for some time.

Right there is a dead giveaway that its this system..this system seems to use the target's memories and imagination against them in whatever present program they are laying down on the person.
The only danger is if you buy into it or believe its real. And it cant possibly be mere mental illness as its onset is too quick and its far too complicated.

The other thing that was very theatrical was a plate breaking by itself when I was eating off of it...another trick most likely pulled off with either tech or someone with the power to do such things. I was a bit disturbed at that but I ignored it just like everything else. Its not outside the realm of possibility to pull off such a thing and it was a petty move just like all the other things whoever was behind this pulled off. Pulling a few magic tricks is not going to drive me insane or...what did they expect? That I would go to the cops and start telling them my dishes are breaking? Who gives a f*ck really?

My death and sex fantasies make all those shananigans look like the cheap parlor tricks that they are. Now THOSE are impressive.

Plus there was something slightly creepy about a few episodes of Sea Lab on Adult Swim but that had degenerated from Gen X enjoying the revenge of destroying cheap 60's Hanna Barbara cartoons into something much more stupid and useless that wasnt fun anymore. We did it becuz in the 70's we were just shoved in front of the most fucked up shit you can imagine like The Banana Splits or that weird show with the kid with hte magic flute..now THAT was evil- while our parents just got stoned and neglected us. We were having a great time with cynicism and apathy getting revenge on them and grunge was worse than punk for them so that was great...we did it to be reactionary not to form a next generation of dumbasses who didnt care about anything. It was supposed to be done much tongue in cheek and alot of it was to scare Baby Boomers out of revenge for our crappy 70's childhoods and hten them running off into YUPpie land and recovery when Reagan woke them up from thier nappy naps and AIDS scared them off the dance floor. Your not supposed to fully BELIEVE it for f*ck's sake, damn. Now we have these following generations that are truly apathetic and thats also thanks to big pharma. I kinda wish we hadnt had any influence on the younger kids, but hell, we were trained very early on in life to believe nukes were going to take us out anyway so who carers?
The kids today tell me that growing up with Bush in office is thier version of nukes or that nuke affect--nobody does anything about corruption so 'why bother'? The system will always find something to perform this function on the young before they get a chance to come into youth and rebel or take power.

Weird crappy tv, plates breaking and LaVey's basement apartment in Hell- it doesnt really amount to full on Armageddon does it? And it was an absolute waste of tech and I cant imagine the money it took to provide those amusements for whoever was involved.

I think the purpose was some sort of attempted set up- Scott kept saying that this obviously very Celtic purple cloth wall hanging I had in my living room was Satanic. "He would squint and say "That looks very satanic". Scott is a former gay prostitute who does alot of jail terms for strong arm crimes he's dumb enough to get caught doing- personally I think his gay side likes the action of all those big strapping men in blue manhandling him. A cop told me once that many people they deal with regularly "get off on this kind of thing"..which is totally strange to me. Plus it is a waste of tax money. His levels of understanding crime are above mine but his ability to study esoteric subject matter is lacking and one sees that reflected in his lifestyle and the way he conducted himself. He was an idiot, his family of pervs are as well and their white trash status can leave me out thank you very much.

And to think he claims to be part Irish- but refers to ancient Celtic symbolism in such a way...I smell a traitor to the ancient ways.That might be his greatest crime of all. He also had a habit of exclusively befriending certain people that cannot be described at all as Irish but certainly as a 'tribe'. Like I said- a traitor to the ancient cultures.

The whole thing may have been to make me appear I was into cheap Satanism..the only indication of this would be a local homebum in Cambridge some years back who intimated that my listening to heavy metal or any such genre was akin to "people still hang onto it even after it destroys thier lives". Once again trying to make this out to be my doing via something I got associated with upon my own Will or that association with (cheesy) Satanic forces were what caused my misfortune.

Of course this reeks of giving all the power over TO such forces to begin with for any involvement in messing up my life or interfering where they should not have been able to...his attempts at deception were as pathetic as I have come to expect with the people we TI's now know as 'perps'.

Always a bit shy of completing thier masterpiece or thier mastery of deception, which of course is comparable to a paint by number piece- DaVinci I believe was far from one of Satan's butt boys.

And conventional Christianity is a reactionary meunevier for the weak Willed and the weary in battle, which I why I wont be swayed as that being an answer to my problems. Also when you have young kids saying shit in passing in malls like "Your god has abandoned you" or something similar its great to laugh at them inside and know that they are the one's obviously stupid enough to be brainwashed by thier country's mainstream culture that dictates such things. Like I said, many perps are only associated with part of a TI's story.

Am I too assume this is more Satanic white trash? Becuz that statement intimates that THEY have a different got. Its called the god of stupidity and they were definately born of his image. Lord Dumbass I calleth on the powers of Thee. Bestow on me your servant the power of buffoonary and render me ultimately moronic and lacking in all higher intelligence so that I may kick my own ass in the process by such feats and living in the USA and believing in a pop culture movement of psuedo Satanism, which of course the JUDEO Christian controlled meda would never allow me to seek the full force or fierceness of my ancestral beast within anyway as a means of unbreakable and constant social control.

DUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHH. So Mote it Be, like I saw on that LZ album I turned backwards, wow dude I am such an outlaw and a Satanic 'playa'.

Its a great ploy within psychological warfare however as it makes me feel totally embarassed, robbed of status, cheapened and taken out by stupid people just becuz they have smart mobs and work in a huge group. It really had destroyed my morale at one point, but years later you keep seeing how lacking they are and how it takes like many of them.

Unless of course the whole thing is a final laugh on the Target as I just revealed a shit load of info including my methods for dealing with problems as well as how much I know about occult subject matter or as my mother said to me during all this "I am very interested in the way your mind works"..so all this could be in the end to gain confession or information from the Target via a long drawn out campaign of trauma. In order to survive the TI must relive and handle those memories and then be rid of them..

which is strange considering that is what I was trying to do with the trauma that I already had memories of before all of this occured.

Its obvious that this whole ordeal is the make sure hte target never gets anywhere in life , that they can never use thier inner knowledge or secrets for thier own private life building but must reveal, for free in public, the info they could have used to built a life or a career for themselves. Its also a diversion ultimately. Instead of working on true art projects that could gain success and built a life for myself during the best years of my life I have been forced to suffer and be kept destitute while working very hard at producing work, which I do for free while living in the street and also I am throwing all my information out to the public as to rob myself of it permanently instead of use it to produce other artworks.

This system wants to deny hte TI any privacy or ability at having any secrecy which of course prevents them from ever having any power.

All the excuses amount to nothing- that the person must be deprogrammed and re-brainwashed in this way or its a necessary behavior modification program or they need to learn responsibility or they did something or are hiding info and this makes them dangerous so they must be forced to purge that info etc.

I recall when I had my tooth pulled on of the ghetto bitches involved in this who also works for St Francis house as staff was at the dentists office- she kept saying that all the pain I was going through and trauma getting the tooth pulled was becuz I needed to learn to grow up or something like that.

This excuse has been used very prevelantly especially by the blacks involved in gang stalking. What I want to know is WHO THE FUCK GAVE THEM ANY AUTHORITY OVER A WHITE WOMAN AND WHO GAVE THEM ANY IDEA THAT THEY HAD SUCH AUTHORITY OR THAT THEY KNOW OR UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ABOUT WHITES TO BEGIN WITH. Who in the f*ck do they think they are? That is the other worst part of this--outsiders having any control over me at all. What do young stupid white kids or blacks know about ME anyway? They are certainly NOT my peers.

The perps who have been honet with me tell me that "They are jealous of you" is the real reason that I have been made to suffer so.

And if I ever find out who 'they' are or even any singled out members of 'they' I want revenge in a big way. Who ever told any of these people that they have dominion over ME?

That is a horrible mistake that has to be corrected, and I believe I have done some work on putting these people in thier proper place, in proper perspective but much more needs to be done.
The work is not finished as some things are still not in balance and are grossly out of place: DaVinci was not a peasant who bought into low magic folklore. They have painted themselves too large and its not in perspective- its not 'true'. Its gross idealization.

They need to be whited out and painted over until the picture is done properly and the balance is once again present. Espeicially that little green, scrawny green eyed serpent that should be under the feet of the female element- Isis if you will, in our world not wrapped around it running things. And tech gives them that advantage now which is why things are grossly unbalanced.

Chaos is one thing- that is a needed element in our world and dark experiences may force us to grow or wake up and see something we did not before. But all out heavy handed control from weaklings who have to hide in large groups...just spells out its time to cut down thier numbers. Get yer old swords out its time to cut up dragons...and these are not the few respectable ones that are dangerous nor are they the old wise ones we may learn from...these seem to be a creature that is on the whole pretty pathetic, weak, imatative and sniveling that are mere cells making up a larger organisim. They are a disease if you will.

Its time to cure.

Really I just pictured myself as a soul who had moved on from battles and much more diplomatic than that...its so old now. Its really boring. Its fun to f*ck with these idiots when I can but really on the whole I am quite tired of humanity and thier never ending same results time after time. Just writing how this works may be enough and those that like slavery are welcome to it, those that dont can learn how to counter a now psychocivilized society. Its all about your own Free Will, which really seems the greatest threat to whatever powers rule this country now. And I can tell that from the constant pathetic attempts to continue to get psych me into choosing either Satanism or Christianity as an identity.
Why so limited? Probably becuz both have male dieties and are monothestic. A king only will do and that fits in with how much bullshit sexism runs rampant right now as part of the rule of American culture.

You can worship John Wayne, Reagan, Kennedy, Satan, Jesus, Elvis or God kids its up to YOU...or so we want you to believe. As long as its a MALE and its singular.

I smell more bullshit....

And of course the results of me writing this may be that every idiot with any money or power in on this is pleased with himself. Its just one of those disgusting facts of the situation one must deal with..and its obvious purpose is more diversion. People must feel they have been given a piece of the TI or own them in some way, in order to ensure that they never reach thier power potential on thier own. The people who are given the illusion of authority over the target serve as links in the chains that keep them down. It would not surprise me if this goes on over generations with intergen targeted persons. The morons who feel they have some power over the family members must be retained for control over the target- but its obvious that its the power of the targeted person they fear most.