No one can know my story- I havent frickin told it yet. Ever in total. But perps and onlookers THINK they know. Your typical screw up who is a control freak in on this always says "I know your story already, I KNOW it". Its like 'f*ck you'....what do you really know? You know what you have been told and what you piece together on your own. This is really the hieght of the power trip right there. F*ckers thinking they know someone's business. THE VERY FACT THAT YOU KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL SHOULD TELL YOU AS WELL AS ONLOOKERS THAT THERE IS SOMETHING VERY WRONG TO BEGIN WITH AS YOU SHOULD NOT KNOW SH*T ABOUT ME.
That kid I was seeing did the same thing : "I know I know the life you should have had together" concerning why the idea of Jake still upsets me. GET A CLUE PEOPLE. I was ready to leave him when he was screwing up big time with pills and ditching the cops in car chases and being really as f*cked up as I was in my early 20's. But the Bush era was not the best time to mess around and that may be why he got busted. Either that or he was busted to be used against me which was certainly attempted.
I stuck with him after his bust like a good girlfriend which was rewarded with alot of attempts from a crowd of pathetic rich kids to destroy me.
I was ready to move on anyway. It was the way he left me and what the crowd around him in NA did. Whatever else was going on.He had to destroy me before I left him first. I really should have left right when my intuition told me too.
The other thing that is annoying is people who are nosy enough to know my situation but seem to not know about my 4 blogs or my two books I would like to produce. A car full of young women, not very wealthy looking but not dirt poor either, drove by just as I was crossing Mass Ave near Hynes Conv Center. They yelled out to me and looking right at me as they did: "Why dont you DO something?" it was obviously gang stalking as it was so personal and overt. Behind them a few cars was a female state cop who made this face like 'oh well' as she tried to hide the fact she was eating chips while driving around one handed.
I DO do something, I write, travel and fight for my sanity every day as well as to preserve my sense of Self and my history in the face of a system that wants to destroy, occupy and reform me like some country they are at war with. What do they expect me to do? Its not like any of the betrayers or perps etc are going to jump up and admit that they destroyed my life and my health and most of all that I didnt deserve it. Even if they were lied to about the true circumstance or motives they may feel bad but they wont do anything or confess. I am going have to do that for them.
I can do no more than I have. What these a-holes want is for me to move on or to take some sort of legal action. What legal action do you suggest against covert warfare? The system had its chance it chose its side. I will be as fair to them as they were to me and show them the same amount of mercy. You tell me what kind of lawyer is gonna help me. I should try it just to prove there is no justice in this system.
The next thing is when young jerk guys walk by especially from BU in Kenmore. Seeing me sitting there panhandling I get comments like them saying to one of tIhe guys in thier pack that men seem to need to travel in as youths: "Hey want an STD?" Either they are just being stupid or they know my situation. All I have is Hep C and I tell everyone about that before starting anything. Pamela Anderson has Hep and everyone is usually all over that and her husband gave it to her didnt he? Knowing how much money these people like that have they must have led lives with alot more risky behavior than I ever did.
Its all continued smear.
Two young black kids just walked by me typing outside. I am having a reaction to a spider bite and dont feel so well.
One of these idiots opens his mouth and says "Get that money ---" I couldnt understand sloppy Ebonics this time. They just say it becuz I am someone that was smeared and powerless punks like that think they can get away with it. Its fun to pick on a white woman who formerly had associates more important than they will ever have. I know they wouldnt survive on the road and I get satisfaction knowing that they wouldnt be welcome in places I can escape to like Nashville TN and the southwest.
Just prior to this however a young black male gave me a pep talk on being homeless. He said to stay around positive people. I guess he wasnt talking about that guy.
Another thing that pisses me off
