Not doing too well in this area. I stayed for a year which Ive never done before-through last winter. Im starting to look my age. After Fukushima I aged about 5 years anyway but the lack of the same structure I had before is making it very hard to survive.
I had an abortion last year in which OHSU screwed up my womb badly and I cant get any Harvard affiliated docs to admit to it and its obvious Im being handled. I recently found out OHSU is a research hospital but its state run not a teaching hospital in the way I understood them here in Boston- affiliated with private Ivy League colleges. THe daily lower back pain caused by that first hemorrhage like bleeding, that incapacitated me for a month so I couldnt leave Portland, OR had never left completely and its just another daily obstacle. TIs acquire all kinds of health damages due to being forced into living situations they would not normally be in or states of mind we have to endure due to being targeted, sleep deprived etc.
The people who are behind this system know damn well its a long term destruction of the persons health and sanity. That is thier goal.
OHSU is getting sued all the time. They dont have as much accountability due to being a state institution. It was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. I should have come home and had it done.
Getting many months of exposure of radiation on the west coast was also very stupid especially Portland OR.
I meet this man last year and for some reason I got stuck here after he went to jail. I still have no idea what I was thinking. I was sick from radiation exposure in the months before. I spent the winter just healing what felt like exposure that was in the very marrow of my bones. Its very bad in the northwest.
So I stayed here all year. I spent my summer trying to get out of the USA via Nova Scotia and due to gang stalking I only made it to the border of Canada, Machias Maine.
SO I still havent left the northeast all this time. Ive been in the northwest and northeast since June of 2013. No desert, no midwest, no TX. That isnt good.
Going to the Southwestern USA had kept my health preserved and even healed me due to the dry conditions improving everything from my mold exposure in early 2000s to some respiratory conditions due to mold exposure and just the fact the northeast is polluted with alot of mold.
Slowly conditions here in my hometown Ive been stuck in have deteriorated for houseless people. The attempted no camping in Cambridge, the new anti homeless sentiment. Alot due to the new administrations in Cambridge and Boston. When Menino died some things improved (like some sort of control that was over me) but I also feel alot less protected now and perps are doing things they didnt do since Bush. Also homeless people got some help from Menino as long as he was alive.
Then being forced to finally act out, getting arrested, probation, bringing an unnatural fear to me which has been hindering. Very limiting. I know damn well that I will be f*cked with so hard in jail by people working for the GS system that it wont end well...that and the fact that jails here are so mouldy I would acquire more damage to my system than I can afford. It took me years to repair the neurological damage done by that mouldy apartment and I did so by travelling to very dry hot areas every year. Also on the road I dont eat as many sweets which I now cannot stop doing its my second winter here. This is exactly what happens to my mother in this environment and its not going to happen to me. Overweight, depressed, asthma plus who knows what neuro damage has been done, my grandmother's basement floods every year. No one is going to make me get more mold exposure. More agonizing headaches, more rhinitis, more brain damage. In 2006 I left this area to go to AZ to get healthy and I was walking with an unsteady gait, thats how bad the nuero damage was. I was paying out of my pocket to get vitamin iv's at the Merino Center every week. While still being forced to go back into the mouldy apartment.
I had discussions about brain damage with an older man who had an aneurism. We both experienced the weird experience of perceiving a memory from just yesterday as if it was 10 years ago. This is why I go to the desert and travel and sleep outside. Not always healthiest and yes, leads to other health problems but it assists in repairing brain damage. Meeting new people and seeing new things constantly also improved my condition as well as repaired memory loss.
This area has always wanted to destroy me the way they have my mother. Dont f*ckin think so.
My eyesight has started deteriorating this year which I firmly believe is from not going to dry out in the west.
Another thing I am experiencing is that I have systematically alienated the companion I am with. Its so murky here now with electromag/radiation soup it seems that its hard to tell if I should have even been with him at all.
There is something different about the way this area is being targeted. Its a much heavier influence than I remember. On Saturdays then Sundays or holidays-'clear' days from whatever the remote influence is over the area (and that is across the USA) this area clears up to a state that I recall it was last year before the new administration. I feel it every Saturday. I am clearer headed, I can make a decision I can remember things better.
Its not just memory loss its forgetting what your long term plans were or forgetting your actual motivations. Its so heavy its....feels almost deadly over time. Forgetting who you are even.
I got disgusted with the homeless womens drop ins which seem to be in on this genocide of TIs and homeless people as much as the surrounding communities. Before it was just gang stalking now they are moving their people out with a quickness, to new jobs and locations then making these places look improved and implementing policies that actually limit a damaged TI especially someone who experienced alot of abuse of power in the place. The Womens Lunch Place is a perfect example of this. They’ve been very slick about cleaning up thier act but making it so anyone they abused before is going to be unable to get anything out of the new environment. Its a total white wash.
The workers in these places all within the last year have left magickally all at the same time to go on to other jobs. After being around for 10 years through the thick of the war and the harassment campaigns. ASSHOLES. Nurse Pat is one of them. She helps the average homeless but helps perp the targeted whistle-blowers and activists-the TIS. This is very common in the homeless industry.
The WOmen's Center is now just the way they wanted it-just for groups so local women can do activism. Hmph. Sucks I had to go there every day in winter and get fried the shit out of and messed with by the housed women that went to drum circles and such. Now they just take it back by setting up some sort of violence from a client (by hiring a director that was totally going to cause that. She looks and acts like one of the Bush daughters. Not exactly the kind of person that fits in there. Wish it would have happened sooner so I woouldnt have depended on the place all these years.
Theres no scene left or sense of family in Harvard
Due to all the other issues making it hard for me to function as I did as a houseless activist Im slowly becoming dependent on someone who isnt dependable or totally sensitive to my hurts and wounds. Hes the kind where you would have to be already damaged for him to understand how severe something is. I cant afford that.
