Why am I so frightened and suddenly attached to my hometown? A place in a country I've wanted to leave for years now.


What is going on that would make me become so lacking in sense? In daring?

Especially since this place has gotten more abusive and less helpful (docs not being honest about health issues).

Perhaps the system is trying to finish me off in either scene riot whether I choose to go abroad or stay here. Either way they will destroy me completely.