“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Monday, May 21, 2012

I Remember,Now,Why I Cant Come Home

Using Opera on my phone faster than Firefox better editing. But doesnt save drafts automatically. Someone just called me and I lost an entire post. Unbelievable.

I know my smartphone is helpimg to make me sick but I cant live without,it. I feel better when I put it in airplane mode.

I,just dont know,what to do.

I was writing,that it feels like,the,entire Boston and Cambridge area are in,on gang stalkimg.

That they walk around like robots here and are completely paranoid of anyone who looks nonconformist nowadays.

I wrote that Boston and Cambridge appear to be akin to totally false environments like under a dome on another planet or in a soviety existing underground.
That the entire place seems false.

That its very surreal,here. That due to my old life here being cut off from me for so long all the old points of reference are gone and I am left suspended in,time and,space so,its,easier for this place to control me with gs tech and chemical influence.

I think I put,down,that it,felt like,the,edge of,the world here. As if everything beyond didnt exist.

That it feels like living in a NASA experiment all the time.

Also that other parts of,the country have such,rugged natural terrain or,other strong natural features its hard to deny one is on earth.
The southwest with its deserts, unconquerable natural structures and mountains or rock formations, salt flats etc.

Texas with,its wide open spaces even though places like Austin are falsified managed. Plus,i,get heavily depressed down,there and I,believe,its oil fumes and from,pollution from Mexico. I cant live there the depression and dumb down are so bad. Could be animal waste too, dont know. But I know I am on,earth still.

And CA wil never be able to contain a false environment due to,the,constant disturbances from the, shifting of,the techtonic plates and the activity of the Pacific Ocean. These produce such a constant (but frighteningly violent and large) active energy pattern that there,is no falling into a dream like,state there. Though often like Florida, the energies are so big in size that one feels unvomfortable with being a,mere tiny human.

All that damage the Tsunami did to Japan? Imagine being in mortal fear of that size energy everyday. Thats why my trips to Cali are short and sweet. Its disturbing to me the amount of nature's and earth's energies just swirling around out there.

Whatever Boston and Cambridge were is now gone. Its almost like they dont exist anymore, even on the,map. Thats just the way it feels and I cannot explain why.

Its like they are dead cities. Perhaps thats just my perspective due to my situation here.

This,is,due in part to their being far too much el....

Had copied this. Lost the rest of this ,,"