“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Up All Night

I don't trust the place i am staying completely. Its definately targeted and there's always the risk of the behavior modification having a push to become Christian in a place like this.
My last roommate i didn't care for as she had this sense of having a better than opinion of herself of the quiet. She left thankfully becuz she was a total energy sucker. I hated just being around her physically.
But at least she was quiet.
The next one i got who is still here is an older women who will NOT shut up. She doesn't have the psychic vampire ability as the last woman who was around my age. So this older lady uses the control tactic of talking to me constantly and its more annoying than the last woman becuz my grandmother used to do this. My mother called it 'mad chatter' as if it was done innocently or u knowingly but i believe such women know what they are doing. Its a way of controlling a physical space or situation. i helped her move in and she was nice and thats where i stop being suppoertive to the new person outside of helping them find their way around the house. Its simply New England style being considerate and civil. But after that the person should understand you have your own life. Either this woman is dense and thinks she can be go dependent on me now constantly becuz shes needy as he'll or someone informed her i am either targeted or a cover story about controlling me and keeping me down being a good thing in the long run or some other information that changed her into someone who's pestering me constantly and being needy. She texts me from work yesterday for f*cks sake becuz she wants to talk. i am jet roommate not her friend.
She blinds me with her constant attacks of useless chatter. She talked to me right when i woke up yesterday and that was just too much. I snapped at her for forgetting her key and getting locked out.

Its a control tactic. She just came from the local shelter and shes still in street mode. Not the way she acts but the way she thinks like in response to her environment.

i had this room clean. as good as it was gonna get. now i am miserable becuz i am having constant problems at night again with dust mites. (if u r allergic to them its like having fleas attack you from your bedding but just at late night.. but its very distractijng to feel things jumping and crawling on you that are so small u can't see anything there.) And no i am not imagining this as i looked it up as well as got q red mark in an allergy test years ago for dust mites. So it must be coming from one of my new roommates. Also the older woman has some clothing in her closet that smells like mold to me. Many people in this area seem to have musty clothes but they don't notice sit-up strong laundry soaps cover up the smell which for a chemically sensitive person just makes it worse. The mold of course i am totally sensitized to now. I can smell mold even when other people don't notice it.
Good luck getting women this low functioning to understand why i want all their clothes laundered here when they arrive.

My other roommate is a young black girl. Shes very nice and shes like me shes balanced between quiet time and conversation. Shes generationally native to tech so shes got her phone to keep her company.
But i don't trust the putting a black female into my room as random. It might be but I don't know.

This place is Targeted but one has to consider that perhaps the owners are oblivious to this and its done with tech without their knowledge.

The older one is must needy. I don't trust her trying to gain control though. The rest of the house is OK. Nice actually.
Its cold at night now but it was warm a week or so ago. Years of perps doing abusive sick sh*t for years leaves a Target paranoid of any living situation.

I gotta stay though due to health issues.and its genuinely supportive other than what i just griped about.

been up all night, afraid the motor mouth would wake me up this morning. Not a chance now. ill pass out and be out for hours I'm so tired now.

hopefully the ignorant oldster will mellow out.