“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Being Psycho Managed Down To The Detail In Current Location pt 2

...they can escape or avoid any disaster or the slow poisoning and destruction of the human race and other life on earth.

Notice since 9-11 and since companies have gone 'green' in so many bullshit ways that really change nothing, that the environment is no longer a pressing issue.

Yet total psycho management via mass mind control of the public has been instituted during the war and Bush/Obama years, under the cover of diversions.

If I leave here its just going.to be the same thing again, me traveling and breaking my back to carry that back pack. Near constant worry fear and adrenaline may keep us in a state of health and fitness (except for our bellies where all that cortisol gets stored with fat) but I feel like its taking years off my life.

I know this place isn't perfect for me but my home state is polluted beyond belief and MA is totally military industrial complex as well as home to much elite and their interests. I cannot possibly ever go back there again to live or for any length of time. Nowhere in MA is safe. And this constant harassment to go to UMass is just ridiculous. Last time I was there some conditions there, whatever they are produced in me a tear in my intestines and I had internal bleeding. I became very unhealthy just from being there for twelve months. I gained weight and became very tired all the time.

No fuckin way am I going back there. MA can kiss my fuckin ass. Yeah kiss it GOODBYE becuz I am not falling for that 'I miss my hometown' shit again.

Circumstances have changed in the world nowadays and I can't just make choices that I would have if the circumstances were normal or what they appear. MA has been degenerated into a horrible place where only the rich, their house slave populations and the regular guys and average citizens who participate in their nonsense are allowed to exist there. There is absolutely no place for a poor white female with a brain and artistic talent to exist there. Its simply not allowed anymore. I refuse to move back there and be abused further.

And that is probably what the system wants. More lies in order to get me somewhere that I can really be laid into by the system. Your hometown is so very dangerous becuz you are weak there to emotional ties and sentiment. I learned that the hard way and my internal bleeding last year was my final lesson. There is something in MA or Boston area that can make this injury manifest in the body. I don't know if its weaponry or simply my body has been so exposed to mold and it did damage to the point where new exposure simply continues a process of breaking down the body.

I know I can't live in MA or the northeast at all. Its an impossibility.

And I don't need to be made into a proper female thanks very much. And I am not crazy either.

Per usual I am going to write that book and I WILL do my hair and conduct my affairs any way I please and see fit.

This system still doesn't understand that I really fancy myself a 'gentleman' from the old days. Part of me naturally believes that you should not interfere with my affairs. Like the rules used to be hundreds of years ago. I just happen to be female that's all.

I cannot believe how a female exterior effects the perceptions from the world around me. Its ridiculous. I'm a person in here you know.

Help and direction or teaching or advising are different from outright coercion.