I was so tired those last posts. I had been up all night. As usual I wont erase or alter any post, not unless its really a mistake I feel needs to be fixed.
Focusing on the African American population is understandable. Ive stayed in Boston area too long this time and this ALWAYS happens if I have to stay without money and go to a shelter.
Interestingly, I often forget my own theory that many African Americans have European DNA and this often determines, not African DNA, how I interact with them. Whether I percieve them as enemies or kin often depends moreso on the signals between my differing European genetics and thiers.
This woman Carmen just pisses me off, and shes always annoyed me for a reason I could not place. I liked her in the beginning as it seemed that she was intelligent and doing something with her life. But she is also aggressive in this way the really bugs me. I keep perceiving her as an annoying white girl moreso than a black woman. Like that is what annoys me about her.
Now I think I found out why.
For some reason, I fight with women of Swedish decent. The men are allright but I always, every time inevitably end up in battle with any woman who has strong expressions of her Swedish heritage. I dont know if this is something in relation to an ancient tribal rivalry between tribes of that country in our DNA or if its between my Swedish and perhaps I have another nearby country's DNA, some other Scandinavian country. I hear they fight alot amongst themselves and always have, each thinking they are better than the other.
It could also be some other DNA battle that comes about naturally like Eastern Europe and Nordic. I always pictured the Norsepeople coming down and trying to run the Slavs lives for them as Slavs had a hard time percieving city states and lived in big famlilies or villages. If Norse people are so forceful and say, Poles and such so resistant, you would have this constant feeling of irresistable force against immovable object. It may even be an Italian thing, as a reaction to that kind of aggression. She does annoy me like somebody too white or blonde might if they were prissy as well as aggressive. Its hard to say. It could even be some ancient resistance or reaction from the shores of Ireland during the Viking invasions.
I know one thing. EVERY single time this happens. From my experience its inevitable.
I was just watching a viking metal band and of course the video is a period piece. It shows this woman coming out of a tent I believe. One of thier women, a Swedish woman. I kept running the video over to get a good look at her. And to my surprise I found out why Carmen is an annoyance to me. Her face, outside of being black in skin color looks almost exactly like this woman in the video.
So there it is. There is the white in her that gets me so aggravated. I KNEW I kept perceiving her as white in how she comes off being aggravating. Its her inner blondeness not her blackness that causes me to fight with her. And from my experience there is little I can do other than ignore it becuz whatever tribe this is from Swedish decent, I usually end up in a fight anyway.
I cant believe that blacks have a problem with admitting they have European DNA. I just dont understand it. It would make things so much clearer about why whites and blacks cant get along. I dont know if blacks are aware of the nuances of 'white' people getting along. Its very complex. And it depends very strongly on what KIND of European you register as with other Euro DNA. Some other 'white' people are neutral in my perception, some register as kin so I accept them without question and some...ah some its as if I am a Hatfield and they are a McCoy a thousand years after leaving that feud behind- and I just sense we are from enemy clans.
I think I originally got annoyed with her due to her listening to an older white woman whispering in her ear about me. Perhaps it made me angry on some ancient tribal level that she allowed a snake like person do decieve her, that it showed weakness. Becuz this older white woman is just awful. Shes aggressive and stupid, not half as bright as Carmen. I think it just disgusted me that she would allow a lower person to control her that way.
Its kind of a relief actually. I am starting to get very paranoid about race due to how abusive blacks have been within gangstalking campaigns. Its just a whole other complicated issue that I wish was not included in the broader spectrum of organized stalking and harassment. The problem is that race is a very intricate part of psychological warfare so it has to be addressed unfortunately.
