I feel better today. Mysteriously that unknown account in my computer with the serial number I didnt get to post it, is now gone from the properties on files and folders. The computer is still a mess as far as files go with me having to take ownership which sholdnt be happening.
Went into Boston today and the blacks were allright. Only one woman from when i was heavily targeted was at all acting out upon seeing me. All the young kids and anyone who didnt know me when all that happened was fine with me today. I guess only Central Sq Cambridge sucks really hard for race issues, in my case anyway.
got fed and fell asleep. I have to sleep when I am tired not do the pushing myself thing or always be in 'soldier on' mode. I slept for a bit to the point where my body could then feel how truly tired I was. When yer over the line yer tired but you dont know you are. Yer not relaxed enough.
Of course I am never really relaxed with daily subtle gang stalking here as well as the other effects. Of course I felt all anxiety, unsureness and lack of my natural confidence in the city of my birth lift just like that tonight- was in Harv Sq train station cleaning up juice broken glass in bag. Guess what time it was? I looked and was 12:16 am. Its the same every night and per usual its approx times. IT seems to vary around the USA with some places being 11:30 pm and others exactly 12 midnight. This has been going on for years. Its disgusting really that a behavior modification program can go on nationwide, either for individuals who are targeted specifically or a whole nation, and no one notices. Imagine if you didnt know what the f*ck was going on? It must be so limited- your perceptions.
Of course with TI's the smear people keep up a constant wall of the idea that the person is mentally ill and such sentiments as 'schizophrenics see things we dont'..well are you saying that anyone who sees things or sees through bullshit is mentally ill? Cuz I aint sitting out on hte street talking to air or a light post believing there is someone really there.
Ahy time I have ever exhibited eccentric behavior it was either a coping skill or it was from being terrorized by this system and my mother has the radiation experimentee documentation to prove we are connected to MK Ultra. I also had discussed my coping skill weirdness with my therapists for years as well. No one thought I was crazy until these bastards came after me. If ever they produce doctored documents- really good fakes that have a prior date on them that say anything about me being deemed mentally ill in that manner mentioned above before the bastards came after me I will first laugh my ass off then carbon test or do whatever I have to do to counter it. Like start talking about people's bizarre personal lives that you CANNOT afford to have exposed- you morons.
THe whole thing is so...sloppy. But it works and the only reason it does work is remote influence from 6 am to 12 midnight. Without that part of the system the public would have never allowed half the shit to happen that has and laughed at the pathetic attempts at oppression.
But this tech will mess you up and good. It sucks being a wilting flower every f*cking day and then at 12 midnight or so my true strength returns and everything appears normal again--its such a waste. And its obvious that alot of the slap in the face is based on the idea that its 12 midnight so what you gonna do with it now?
Got harassment today pan handling in Boston but I did ok in a short amount of time. The stuff just rolls off me now here. To me its just another city to travel through. Lots of ideations that at least I will learn to appreciate every penny due to being kept in poverty. Which is bs becuz I have been kept in poverty for the most part all my life. Its disgusting what they will try to make you believe to minimize all the physical and emotional damages. I could have learned to appreciate working as a councilor and starting to make decent money more than I ever had in my life. I didnt need all this damage to learn the value of money. Those are more excuses they try to brainwash the victim with. ITS ALL CULT MIND CONTROL. EVERY THING THIS SYSTEM DOES IS IN THE INTEREST OF BRAINWASHING THE TARGET AS WELL AS AN ENTIRE NATION INTO TOTAL SUBMISSION AND SUBSERVIENCE. ITS THE ENSLAVEMENT OF MANKIND UNDER THE GUISE OF 'WORLD PEACE' OR SOME SUCH VAGUE BUNCH OF BULLSHIT. I NOTICE THAT THE ULTRA ELITE DONT NEED AS MANY LIFE LESSONS AS POSSIBLE EFFECTIVE DISSIDENTS DO. ISNT THAT INTERESTING THAT YOUR MORAL CHARACTER DEPENDS SOLEY ON HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE- MORE BRAINWASHING INTO COMPLIANCE.
FIGHT.
First I notice this kid go by and say in broken English "Take de medication" and he had 'Instanbul' on the back of his black t-shirt, and if its part of a message I dont get it. It was hysterical actually becuz the way it was pulled off was weak. He was scared you could tell. Then alot of attempts at getting to me in general. I am just a traveler and htis is just another nowhere town. Hello and Goodbye.
People were good about money though, either cuz they know who I am or they dont see me out there pumping the area everyday for crack or booze.
But there was plenty of ideations: from the one I just mentioned to lots of different people keeping me in thier thoughts and cheering for me, one of two instances of why dont I go home to my grandmother's house and alot of thoughts of my ex Jake thinking of me, somehow knowing I am out here either first hand seeing me or through others watching and informing him and finally the lovely illusion created that he wants to get back together with me.
I just disregard all this bullshit every time it starts up intensely like this and ESPECIALLY when its accompanied by ANY kind of tactics or theatres in person from live human gang stalking perps. Why would those thoughts be real if they had to be enforced by being terrorized? Its called trauma based mind control: they provide the ongoing trauma and the other end of it provides the suggestion. Its so damn obvious.
Does anyone actually believe that Jake would approach me after what he knows he did? After his part in this? He probably doesnt even know I am alive except if some of his contacts laugh at me and tell him I am on the street or some shit. I know the kind of f*ckers he sold out too and Boston is very nasty. It was nasty when my mother had to fight all those little catty bitches at Kens and its still bitchy and nasty. The northeast is nasty and vindictive with a sick sense of humor about people being victims of crime. Its a sickness you only get peace from after you travel and get the f*ck out of this over priveledged hole. This place is like existing in the nicest sewer in the USA, rats and all.
A f*ckin luxury sewer is all this place is when you know whats past Harvard, Children's Hospital and Fenway Park.
I just ignore it. There is definately a vested interest in feminizing me, emasculating me and turning me into the good little wife type. And having thoughts like that is just the formula to produce those results eventually.
This is why they have to have the target's intimates just drop them all at once and traumatize them so. It creates a memory of the person that has no closure to it, leaving it up to the system to manipulate those images in the targeted person's imagination.
Really this a battle of Wills and the Will over one's imagination. The way they can create fx are terrifying and that is what I personally want stopped. Then Big Pharma gets up in it and makes money off of people targeted with these technologies. Its disgusting really. And the way the program operates is unique here to anywhere else in the USA.
Its like they want me to start contacting all these people from my past. NO fuckin way. That is never going to happen. The story of what happened and how this started is going to touch enough people I am hoping, I dont need to contact anyone in person. Can you imagine what the perps would get out of that? Its just the perfect outcome too. Becoming that crazy.
They really torture you into being heartwrenched over what you've lost and they make sure they rip it from you during the indoctrination process, which is the heavy handed fist stages of 24/7 harassment that includes becoming totally isolated by this system and betrayed by the people around you.
I know it sounds crazy but if you had people as rotten around you as I did me, its easy to imagine people like that selling someone out. ANd that is exactly what went down. Its ridiculous really.
I fell asleep in the park on my tarp during some show with lots of people around. Felt good. I could feel perps stopping and looking and they had the typical judgemental controlling, domineering spoiled brat mind set like I shouldnt be sleeping, etc- anything to make me uncomfortable. You can really feel how much they hate you. After many years of this you can spot thier energy easily even through the confusion and fog of being targeted with other forces. They really fucking hate the TI and whats more creepy is the way it feels to me that they feel a certain control over the person. That is probably the greatest reason why people eventually go postal. NO ONE can tolerate feeling like an abused animal in a cage for that many years. Which of course is what they want which is why yer being tortured. To make one act out in some way.
But ask yourself this before you do something like that: Why should YOU act out overtly when they got thier results from you COVERTLY? WHY are you being reactionary? Its the result they are trying to produce- then yer really controlled.
At the train station all these dumb asses in Aerosmith shirts were there, probably becuz they played somewhere I am guessing. But the crowd was decidedly odd and hte dead giveaway was someone in the crowd made sure they said loudly across the tracks something pertaining to me waking up from my nap. Well good morning or you finally woke up something along those lines, which of course = 'We were watching you sleeping' or 'we know where you are and what you do at all times- we have control and we have power over you'. Like Santa Clause right? It lends a certain creepiness to that childhood song: "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake" and of course he seems to have some dominion over moral judgements, but thats only if we give a shit about recieving presents which either we dont consider in our actions throughout the year or we know that we'll get presents anyway. The thing with gang stalking is that due to it being a horrible brainwashing and cult mind control system- you dont get any presents or gifts, yer kept tired, destitute and off balance all the time and in doubt.
Once again I post that THIS SYSTEM WORKS BECUZ IT IS COVERT. AND MODERN PSYCHIATRY COVERS FOR THESE EXPERIMENTS OR BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION PROGRAMS BY DENYING ALL PROBABILITY OR POSSIBILITY OF SUCH A THING BEING REALISTIC IN OUR DEMOCRATIC SOCIETY.
In my case they thought it would be easy due to my father showing the same symptoms- but my discovering my mother's status as a human experimentee documented as connected to MK Ultra and subprojects changes all that permanently. And I did not put that together until it was too late really. And there was no internet years ago either.
For all we know this is some experiment in itself for the future of man in some other environement. Becuz no one seems to be stopping it from happening here and now in a country where its against the law to do what they are doing to people who are targeted.
The people on the train were nervous and really only served to make me feel anxious or bad about my situation. This serves to keep the target ISOLATED. Everything they seem to be doing now at least in my case is just management due to how broken down I am and receptive to brainwashing via tech or suggestions. I fix that though ever time I travel to a different area. Its the only way to preserve your true Self and avoid allowing the environment to define you, and if your targeted, the environment around you will always be a false on- a covert behavior modification program operating in public spaces.
The basis of this is the idea that they can reach you anywhere. But thats not true. They cant reach you it seems wherever there is no cell or wireless reception.
Usually if you spend any amount of time in such places you will find the in person gang stalking to be so heavy it reminds one of the intensity level of torture during Bush, which was designed really to beat us within an inch of our lives or make us feel that way.
ANd this system even the covert system that no one admits exists, which DOES exist alongside the overt systems of torture being used past and present- has its faction in this country that approves of it. Usually its people who really hate a world where molested children or exploited people actually get help or justice or slaves gain self determination or power over thier own lives.
One guy from down south- not the cool Nashville kind but that creepy Moral Majority kind who are perverts but appear uptight and church going on the surface- he advocated what he called "putting the fear a God into em" as a way of making children behave or people behave in general. Beating a child within an inch of thier lives once was suggested. It really is parellel with the torture that is done to TI's.
ANd I am no liberal- I believe in spankings sometimes for kids. But not outright beatings all the time or torture. THAT is designed to have someone be compliant with other abuses going on and its obvious- its what tyrants do to silence people. NOt good for improving the person.
ANd I am not a child and niether are most other TI's.
