“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Monday, May 27, 2013

Memorial Day 2013-Clear From All Influence And Harassment Per Usual On Federal Holidays: For 1 Day I Can Reveal What's Been Happening To Me

I feel so normal today-like before this nightmare began in 2002 or so. The world around me is so peaceful, so lacking in any kind of 'noise' from anything technological.

A friend back home texted about the noise from a Memorial Day parade. One of those Massachusetts traditions that I remember from my childhood. It reminded me of the times before MA sold out to the NWO and the various complexes. Back when the country was still somewhat decent. Before torture was normalized. Before Americans were forced to live in the horrible reality we find ourselves in today.

On days like these, when the environment seems completely free of remote influence, its like I awaken from a nightmare and am in awe of how much time has passed. Last I remember I was young, I was going to go to UMass and I finally broke up with Jake. I was in a low income apartment in Brighton, Massachusetts. For the fist time in my life I was in a place of my own, getting to know myself and ready to start the rest of my life.

Then the nightmare began. None of it even seems real.

When I go over all the years of it in my head on a 'clear' day like this none of it seems real or even possible. This must be what its like to be a non Target, taking in the claims of Targeted Individuals. Its hard to imagine. It all sounds more like a delusion or fantasy more than anything else.

I say to myself 'how am I forty two years old, where did the time pass and how did I get HERE?'
Like why am I in this strange state? Why am I not home in Mass, with everyone I used to know?

Everything I've experienced over the last ten years seems like a dream-something from an alternate reality, on days that are totally clear of electromag and microwave, chemtrails and psy ops.

Its always federal holidays or the important ones like Xmas.
Note also that these are days that prevent the Target from getting anything done against the system like contacting lawyers etc.

Strangely on days that are clear I feel as if much of the damage from these horrors is already in the process of healing.

People are being made physically ill, cancer, mental illness, aging and to commit suicide by the use of these technologies along with chemical influences and human forces.
And on a clear day its obvious that it doesnt have to be this way!

Im looking in a reflective window now-oh, how my face has aged!

The main difference I notice is that one of the most damaging parts of the mental torture isnt present-the constant running over of memories in one's mind. There's also a process of an almost surgical removal and display of selected memories out of the mind. They'll remove from your mental files a memory of when you stole cake from a church as a kid and add text which comes as speech: "Youve come a long way from stealing cake from churches".
The forced removal of a selected memory causes mental and psychological pain. And notice its some slight against a religious insritution, so its an.easy guilt trip they think.

This selective removal and display of memory has been a staple in their tactics. Your life no longer belongs to you nor does it have a normal linear timeline.
They use your past to guilt you with even though other people in your life are much worse, people who have been rewarded for compliance with these people and their agendas. (I saw a graphic on the side of a small tradesman's van a few days ago. It had a sillouette of a boy kneeling in the shadow of a cross and the text read "One day everyone will kneel and confess". Something like that. That is exactly what this system is trying to pull off. Yet, its not everyone and its usually the people of better character who are being imprisoned into this system.
It doesnt matter anyway becuz no one has a right to do anything creepy and religious like this to any citizen.
And theres plenty of sick people Ive met who hate me for whatever reason that make themselves believe I deserve this or that I am a mental defective who needed reform. [Whats up with biker club involvement?]
Sexist pigs probably, looking for some validation-while they secretly run drugs or kids or something).


Daily I have to deal with the recalling and reliving of memories of being tortured, 'gang stalked', even psy ops in media. The loss of loved ones, betrayals and all that was familiar to me.

I note that the content of much of what supposedly controls me now is Satanic and that in order to get away from feeling owned by that, the only choice is Christianity. This is one reason I don't trust the churches in this. When has any church once come forward about these warcrimes? Now they are also guilty of preventing freedom of religious choice.

The world around me is normal today. No interface, no ideations, induced feelings, forced memory recall-none of it.

Lately Ive been becoming very disconnected. From other activists, from my own blogs and from humanity outside being homeless. I cant stop it, whatever they are using now is different than during Bush and.way too strong.

An article yesterday I read said that the suicide rates among middle aged people has skyrocketed. I believe this also has to do with this system.

One last thing that Ive noticed thats very strong influence over me but I don't recall this until recently is the use of false emotional reactions FROM SOMEWHERE OR SOMEONE ELSE to influence the TI.

Example-if I publish a blogpost and it involves me bringing up a point about someone else that shows them as guilty or wrong, often its someone or a powerful entity I don't know personally-I will receive an emotional signature as if I am getting a psychic impression of the party I wrote about. An emotional response as if they were present. This is used I believe to curb the Target from being concerned any further with the matter. Becuz supposedly the offending party has seen my post and responded, usually with some form of remorse or apologetic sentiment.
This also seems to be being used to get the Target to stop being angry about injustices, especially against the themselves.

This is a deception. I know this often times but due to how heavily targeted I am, often cant catch it among all the other content or cant stop its influencing me.

If this is used on the general public its effects are devastating. You could cause misunderstandings. Fights, wars, create terrorist groups etc. You could get the public to believe that everyone now has true psychic ability. You could cause people to become communal or hive mentality as they believe they are in contact with one another-even subconsciously.

They are imitating what a person with some psychic ability can do for real and its especially effective for blocking and scrambling TIs with psychic ability.

I also notice today that I don't have severe nasal drip or a cough and trouble breathing in this area. It could just be pollution from the local factory but what if its part of the chemical influence part of the program? This is where the Homeless population is concentrated and I dont have these health issues in other parts of the city.

So today I am a sane, reasonable person who's worth something, with a future to grow..just becuz its a holiday.
Tomorrow, at 6am, I will again become hopeless, without a future and of course hopelessly fat and old.

There's an Viking death metal song where they write of a raid of a village. "Those who choose to stand and fight, will die with dignity/For the unfortunate few, who survive, will live in slavery".

Thats pretty much what we're dealing with. Its not so much the Silent Holocaust because that's self pitying. The Jews didnt have access to the internet etc.
Its true that access to freedom of speech and resources means nothing if you are being held back from utilizing them by psychological means of restraint, but you've got to try.

My one question is where should I go? Is there a place to get away from the remote influence? It just seems like over the past few years its gotten so bad you can't function anymore.

Ive slowed down on activism becuz whatever is out here now totally undermines me and demotivates me.

The focus on my being old and hated by all of America and incapable of doing anything more has become constant and extremely destructive. No matter what city I go to its this way. Should I investigate small towns?

And universities across the country have stopped allowing public access to computers. The computers that are available 'manage' a Target mentally so that no meaningful work can be produced anyway. And I know thats the case becuz Ive gotten into places that arent supposed to be for public use and could function fine on their computers-only with a minimal feeling of being monitored somehow either online or from surveillance within the computer room, both of which I can ignore.

And ive already demonstrated that there is a such thing as an 'Eye In The Sky' effect where a person can be made to percieve there is constant surveillance but there is not. Its just another brainwash probably using technology. Its cheaper than actually having real cameras everywhere I'm sure.

Its so obvious on clear days like this that all of this is bullshit, created by tech and chemical influences.

Another thing is I notice on clear days that my cell phone works just the same. They are either using a different signal piggybacked onto the towers or using a different tech system altogether.

Its amazing to know that all one would have to do to make the world normal and peaceful again would be to turn off or destroy the tech that produces the effect and prevent the distribution of the chemical agents also. Its that simple.

I notice that one goal of the system now is to block off my memories of whats happened to me over the years, that I would use to write a book and instead keep me prisoner in an internal world they create consisting of ideations to brainwash me as well as the selecting of memories process I mentioned.

Its more mental and emotional control now through tech and chem as opposed to the harassment by human forces during Bush.

It's as if they are desperate to keep TIs from writing books and mapping out how this works.