“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Sunday, September 30, 2012

An Angry Rant About People Who Helped My Ex-My Family- Then Some Healing Information Revealed About SRA Programming/Paul Solet, Little Rich Kid Who Helped My Ex

Here is a little shit involved in my life being destroyed locally. His name is Paul Solet and he made a low budget piece of crap with my ex that helped him get awards when my life was being destroyed. He makes horror films and is yet another rich snit from Newton or similar. A good ol boys club for hipsters from Newton and surrounding rich snot areas.

Maybe this little shit thinks he's a way cool Satanic hipster asshole, like so many spoilt brat scumbags from Newton who deal drugs out of their parents houses like my ex and his dealer did. So many little corrupt, fucked up rich kids who this area will say come from 'good' families only becuz they have the money to pay off for any fucked up shit these little bastards pull.

This shit was probably in NA with my fat, spoilt mummy's boy ex. Of course I was mobbed there. Of course NA is totally corrupt or else scumbag cops were in there under the pretense of some anti terror operation or as part of the federal investigation during that time locally but of course all they did was help their rich friends get out of trouble and attempt a clumbsy frame up of poor kids like me.  Sorry you didnt know about MY family's connections or my 'friends'. But that is why you are just rich kid jerk offs and I am well.. special.

Some local kid told me this shit's parents are psychologists. Perfect for MK Ultra continued experimentation. Supposedly professors or something. Yeah, I bet.

He as my ex who still needs to pay for his crimes, put out this movie about some bitch Grace, and her pregnancy that was a horror movie. Of course at the time I had been made pregnant by Scott Ashmansky who had planned this as part of destroying my life. Much to the delight of the Irish mob pub across the street in Brighton PorterBellys, which should be burned to the ground with its patrons and owner inside. If only I were violent enough...sigh.

I will never forget hearing one of the Irish shits outside my window laughing and saying "pregnant...hahahaha".  This is one of the reasons that Southie sucks for me. And also why the scalpers at Red Sox games are mean to me or have given me money out of guilt, depending on which ones.  Why I have had to deal with low life, ignorant poor piece of shit, commoner white trash from Southie fucking with me on trains, referring to me as "smiley" becuz I look unhappy.

Gee do you think such low lifes are smart enough to understand MK Ultra? I dont think so but they are smart enough to understand acting like n*ggers and doing whatever the massa cops and elite want done so they can bring more herion into their neighborhoods ensuring every beautiful blonde in sight is hooked and prostituting or theiving by the time she is 21. Becuz like good Catholics, they drink and treat themselves and thier own people roughly- like shit. Just like the Roman empire planned so many millenia ago, by destroying powerful Pagan cultures. Ireland being a jewel in thier crown.  Fools. Southie is nothing but fools. At least the Italians have some better concept of how much power they have if not how f*cked they are for abusing it.

And thats another thing. This John who runs a laundrymat in North Cambridge- and he IS a John by the way, bragged he was in the mafia one day. I just ignored it. Becuz I knew eventually he would figure out who I was if he didnt know already. And with him being associated with my old friend and career criminal as well as probably understanding how much power my mother's brother Tommy Willems had from working with Mafia for years- he was going to treat me like shit eventually. At first he gave us 80 dollars as he does this for homeless people as he used to be himself as a kid.

But one day he mentioned something in a directed conversation- about how your misfortunes and your life goes according to who your family is, who your friends are etc. Then another time he made sure he said something about drugging someone and taking naked pictures of them.

Does any of these people locally think I firstly, dont have a sense of the games idiots around me were playing or getting away with throughout this? and secondly THAT I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SOMETHING AS PETTY AS MY EX OR WHOEVER DRUGGING ME AND TAKING PICS OR NASTY PICS WHILE I AM SLEEPING OR WHATEVER-WHOEVER. THAT IS WHY THE GANG STALKING SYSTEM GOES THIS SHIT TO PEOPLE, AS PART OF RA, TO FREAK THEM OUT BUT TO PROVIDE A COVER STORY TO THE PUBLIC. About some sex worker and rich kids being naughty and abuses of power by cops and thier crime cronies- all the perfect drama for a stupid public.

I AM SMART AND DEDICATED ENOUGH TO KNOW THIS COVER STORY BULLSHIT DOESNT MATTER AND IVE KNOWN FOR YEARS. All that matters is the fact that technologies and chemicals as outlined in MINDWAR paper by Michael Aquino and his military associates as well as whats rooted in MK Ultra ARE BEING USED TO CREATE  MASS MIND CONTROL IN THE UNITED STATES that is basically an enslaving of mankind by the elite of the world.

Who GIVES A SHIT about some rich kid pawns locally or some shitty old Jewish ugly bitches in NA from Newton and Brookline who were jealous ho's who probably resented my mother working at Ken's Pub in Allston in the 70's. (which is now a bank- shows you were society has gone.)
Or some sexist shits in NA related to some stupid old junkies in an aging, mafia connected rock band who didnt like the fact I was programmed and married to Satan as a baby as an Ritual Abuse Survivor, so therefore TEND TO FIND MOST MALES OUTSIDE THE CULT TO BE WEAK AND INSIGNIFICANT and am programmed to basically reject most males anyway. I am sure when the black helicopters and white vans started showing up, and breaking up this little harassment group made up of the  mere public as opposed to the US GOVT, they got thier heads handed to them real quick.

In fact I recall a certain asshole in Newton who I was doing art modelling for and now I looked back some time ago and realized that he was just playing mind games with me and tormenting me. He had me posing for potraits using hot lamps so I would pass out. He once told me that these two old rich bitches who were there found a poor girl like  me to be an amusement and interesting.  Then the white vans started showing up in his driveway. Suddenly he was very nervous and started cancelling appointments. hahaha.
These are the kinds of asshole rich people who play fuckin games with people like me.  I was also told a few years ago that the US Govt doesnt appreciate citizens forming little groups like this and will stop that shit immediately. I am sure my being programmed had something to do with that as any one like me would.

But as far as I am concerned alot of  these little rich shits simply did what they had to for the system at large to discredit me, destroy my life and get me traveling so the experimentation could continue. 

Many of these little bastards are connected to the Satanic factions of the music industry who are involved in this as well. More rich kids but at least the foriegn ones seem to have a bit more brains and kooth.

Doesnt this guy look like an asshole? Doesnt he look like a shit? That he would help his buddy whos a drug dealing. theiving scum, musician get rid of and torment a girlfriend? Becuz matre didnt pay attention to him or perhaps becuz matre didnt pay attention when patre or someone else paid TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO HIM? (My ex's problem from the start.)

Ive seen rich people in this area at thier worst. They are fucked up. Just as fucked up as the poor shits in Southie or the ghettos if not more so becuz they have the money to do MORE damage to themselves and others and more money to provide clean up, pay offs and keep up a good front as if nothing is wrong.

Fuck you Brookline, fuck you Heebs who thought you were helping Israel pull off 9-11 and get rid of some stupid Catholic Goya you were jealous of anyway, while of course hiding the fact that Jews locally make up the largest faction of my old friend's client list. Ive seen these people associated with her directly DO GANG STALKING ON ME AFTER I THE CAMPAIGN BECOME EVIDENT AND 24/7.

Fuck you NA, Fuck you Brookline, Fuck you Irish Mob and fuck Brighton.  These people have yet to be paid back for what they did to me. For every single mean thing they have said to me that has added to the emotional damage and suffering mentally.  How do you sue the mob? Maybe I will find a way. At least you can tell the whole world how this sick place is set up.

See these geniuses think I am no harm to them now becuz I am fully discredited and as that Mexican in San Antonio said to me "..you can be controlled".  Time has a way of bringing revenge.   Still my only problem is not being able to get everyone into the same place at once to destroy them all- partially this is what they do to ensure that a Target cant get back at anyone. This is also why they keep a target controlled and hit with tech, chemicals and gs. You begin to forget all about who was close and KNOWN TO YOU that you could rat on to authoritiies and reveal to the public and  you begin to get angry with the public themselves. Thus a person who is targeted unbeknownst to the GENERAL PUBLIC, becomes diverted by such methods and eventually through long term BRAINWASHING, ends up associating thier long term suffering and inability to gain justice with the general public. Becuz gang stalkers keep popping up within the public in public spaces.
So after years of brain damage and harassment like this and brainwashing, the person still has stashed anger over whats been done. Now they are being baited with what seems like random people messing with them. Half insane, brain damaged and wounded more than any other human being could stand (except a Survivor probably) they cant stand it anymore- cant take THE VERY REAL PRESSURE. And due to self preservation cant kill themselves (outside suicide programming from internal sources), they get a weapon and go shoot up a public place.

Its one of the saddest realities someone like me has to deal with. Becuz  I know from experience how that comes to pass. How it happens, what causes it.

And these shits in society, these priveledged people who do these things and are part of these things are causing these horrible events in society. And they dont care, as long as they get what THEY want. 

Who's the worst of them? Not the overt Satanists in my opinion. Its true what they say that Christians bring church burnings and destructive events on themselves. Becuz SATANISTS ARE OFTEN SHOWING YOU OUTRIGHT OR TELLING YOU WHAT THEY ARE ABOUT BUT PEOPLE REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT DUE TO SOCIETAL NORMS. So in a way  they are challenging how much of a Christian you really are. You claim to be but you dont believe or defend against 'Satan' or his works. SO YOU BRING MISERY ON YOURSELVES.

Its unbelievable how many bands I listen to due to my research (and becuz part of my is comfortable with the music I suppose, or Ive been fire burned against its power to destroy at this point, perhaps some alchemic quality makes it so I simply convert the energy into something I can use for power. Dunno.) that are overt in thier content- the material they use for thier music, that tells the listeners exactly what they are about. And people believe the fallacy that they are simply artists making things up. Even the intricate stuff, the magickal symbols etc, specifically when dealing with artists who are using ancient paganism with Satanism. That is genuinely powerful.
The public lives in denial.

You arent supposed to be able to wipe out evil as many Christians would have you believe (lol) but to know what it is and protect yourself. Be prepared. Choose what you really believe.

For Americans living in a Satanic system basically that exploits and hurts people around the world for thier standard of living- its hard for them to really see what evil is. And Christianity has become so twisted, so religious. If it ever was useful to begin with. Maybe a thousand five hundred years ago.

I always seem less angry with them for whats happened- for them its business. Its the kids like these locals, who profess to be Jews or Christians. Or from 'good' families or thier parents are professors etc.
I hate them most becuz they hide. They lie. And unlike people putting themselves out there to the public- they are cowards. They are the worst scum in any situation like this. And usually they dont have to live with the seriousness of what Satanic factions do to people especially when connected to the military.

They are the ultimate foolish pawns and I hate them most of all. And usually as artists they are far less talented and mediocre than those willing to bet thier power on being overt about who they are...even if the public dont believe and thats the deception in itself.

You wonder if these jerks all work for local intelligence agencies, the military industrial complex or just the cops and thier organized crime bros. You wonder if they understand MK Ultra fully or Ritual Abuse. Or if they simply understand the situation to mean that they and thier rich friends create, manage and destroy poorer people from supposed 'bad' families, as mind controlled slaves for thier drug running, sex industries or other crimes that seem to be run by the poor or organized crime but are at top levels perpetrated by the military, foreign countries LIKE Israel and the intelligence agencies.  Its just so they can get what they want and stay rich. They actually believe that some poor person who seemingly doesnt matter should serve and die for them.

If given a chance, tomorrow, I would have them all die for me. Specifically those who knew me, were close to me and chose to help fuck me over instead of clue me in. My  mother's family included. These people were total assholes. They actually believe that no one on the planet is going to believe me if I claim that in the local area there was a conspiracy of many people known and unknown to me.

Fuck America. And to hell with New England. There are people and places in the world that will believe me.

I didnt imagine that someone in Port Huron MI told me that Jake my ex, that asshole got his foot in the door in Hollywood doing Aerosmith's video's and that bore Guitar Hero becuz "yeah, he 'helped' someone".

These people think that just becuz they are in power locally, that they work with the petty factions of power here locally and some like entertainment people bigger than that, that they have the ultimate say in what happens to one of thier victims.  And the police are absolutely the worst insufferable bastards who are in on the bad side of this. They and thier brain dead cronies from Southie think this is a running joke.

Its not gonna be a joke forever.

I once heard, many years ago in Southie as I was walking through to spange I think or go to my storage, a younger cop talking to some people. He was talking about me saying "She WANTS to be taken seriously".  Wise man.
Hopefully his career will go far someday, instead of the likes of that scum who was head of the Brookline police...during the time my life was being destroyed in that apartment in Brighton. I CAN STILL SEE HIM STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.WITH HIS LITTLE GOLD FUCKING BADGE. FAT OLD WHITE HAIRD MOTHERFUCKER. LOOKING SMUG  FOR THE POWER HANDED TO HIM AND THE COMMUNITY DURING POST 9-11 AND THIS FIXED FEDERAL INVESTIGATION. BUT UNDERNEATH LIKE EVERY COP WHO LASTS THIS LONG, THERE WAS GUILT. Fucking guilt. He KNEW he was wrong. He KNEW it was wrong.
And those detectives harassing and fucking with me in Brookline while those idiots at Walgreens tried to go along with that stupid attempted frame up to try to peg ME as the pills dealer when my ex was the one. I bet the old bitch he got all those pills from, when her man died of cancer never even said a word. I was told my own two faced, back stabbing mother had to go to court for me.

Of course she did- why would she want to be in trouble for hiding 100,000 dollars under my name illegally WHICH IS WHY I PROBABLY WAS A PERSON OF INTEREST TO THE FBI and of course which is why shit head cops were calling me up asking for 'donations' for thier police charity.

FUCK YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU. Instead of being a lone shooter so you can get rid of me I am going to get rid of you. By getting ouf of the US to someplace where you have no control.So I can destroy you. A place where people hate Americans for this reason exactly as the story I have told in part here.

PEOPLE LIKE THE THIS WHO DESTROYED MY LIFE IN BOSTON ARE WHY PERHAPS WE GOT BOMBED ON 9-11. WHY FOREIGNERS STORM AND BURN EMBASSIES. Becuz of covert operations internationally played out by stupid pawns like I just described as well as people living under mind control or who will do whatever authority wants so they can get money for themselves or thier communities from Homleand Security or whoever.

Greed of the people in the know, who are part of these operations is what gets us hated world wide-and I know not all Americans are guilty or know about these things.

Why it was so exciting or interesting for an entire huge area of Boston, Cambridge and surrounding areas, thier police forces and civilians to be in on destroying the life of just one poor woman who didnt have any money, no power or any knowledge of how the world worked was THAT big of a power trip to the people I encountered I will never understand.

They may have just been looking at my appearance or felt powerful destroying someone connected to my family who has mafia connections or I was connnected to that career criminal. Somehow they felt they were taking down someone powerful when they destroyed my life.


I think thier greatest crime was getting off on destroying someone like me who was so powerless. Where is the thrill in that? I still dont get it.

Its probably becuz they dont dare go after my asshole Uncle Tom Willems or his two princess brat daughters (who the family has used to cover thier seedy, criminal activity in the 70s while discrediting me becuz I was going to write a book about it and tell my cousins everything they did to me and did in general. They are little Christians, an ordained minister and a PH D. Perfect cover for that scumbag family of mine. Who of course has police connections from the old days and in the form of a relation whos a detective in Waltham. The Willems family come from a horrible violent pedophile who was a long serving US Marine. My uncle Tom was a killer for the Italian mob, my mother is a chiild abuser, a stripper and a total bitch that has connections to what she describes as 'the syndacate'  and thier sister Deborah Willems now Donnelley was a fuckin hooker who worked for a black ghetto piece of shit named Honey from Roxbury who should have been destroyed years ago.  If I ever was involved in the sex industry- I kept it WASPy. And female. Fuck blacks, fuck pimps and fuck Roxbury. Its probably why the local ghetto scum think I am going to have anything to do with them.. I WILL SLICE YOUR THROAT IF YOU GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO FUCK ME. Remember n*ggers of Boston- my aunt is a stupid six foot German/Irish/ Dutch/French bitch. HER NOR MY MOTHER ARE ITALIAN NOR LITHUANIAN/POLISH. Try going to live in Eastern Europe. You'll note that my people dont like outsiders. And they hate darkies. And they are brutish violent people, the last to take on Christiainity in Europe.
You best research more on white peoples my friends becuz your knowledge seems to stop at the shitheads in southie, the WASP rich assholes, the Jews and the Italians you know will kill or beat your ass. You really should get out of Boston more. Yes, this city you think you own, where you shun anyone who is from say a city just outside Boston, becuz in your limited mentality, they are not 'from Boston' proper. Hmph. You are welcome to this piece of shit. Becuz you are just kept down house slaves. And you know it. Keep serving the local elite, then you will get what you want. Cross them and you are fucked. Yeah, you have sooooo  much power. LMFAO.

Anyway, my family needs to pay for what they did. Strangely they would never cross their horrible pedophile father that messed them up so badly yet I would be regularly ignored, kept down and abused. 
Becuz thats what MIND CONTROLLED people do who are too WEAK to walk away from a controlling fucked up family.

Do they honestly believe that destroying me and scapegoating  me is going to help keep this wonderful illustrious front they have had the opportunity to form WHILE I WAS BEING DESTROYED OVER THESE YEARS? My cousin is a white wash. She is a lie. She is NOT what that family is about. She is a product of dirty money gotten by my uncle with his connections to organized crime. She comes from the seed of rapists, murdering soldiers and killers.  Just like I do. Is this why some power out there believes that I should become a Christian? To pay for the family's crimes? 

What a crock of shit. Becuz no one bothered my family until my grandfather died. THEN THE WOMEN IN THE FAMILY WERE HANDLED IMMEDIATELY. Becuz this is what they do in a  pedophile family that is part of Ritual Abuse and programming and mind control. My grandfather was the controller of the family. When the controlling abuser dies the system gets very nervous about the women especially having no controls on them, specifically male authority.

Remember that this entire problem is perpetuated by sexist scum who believe little girls and women should serve as sex objects and forever be under male control. The so called 'decent' people invovled in gang stalking are often involved somehow in benefitting from this system wether through livelihood or pleasure persuits or addictions.

And I will get back at every  one of these fuckin scumbags in my memory.

And I will never be stupid enough to fall for being pushed into going postal. If I do believe me, i wont go public. I have a very specific list of who I want to take down with me. Its merely choosing who deserves to die and who doesnt.

And do you realize becuz I talk of revenge so and that I am tormented into being discredited that locally I am watched and kept an eye on?  BY THE VERY COMMUNITY WHO KNOWS DAMN WELL THEY DESTROYED MY LIFE?

And we have all seen that so much Homeland Security is involved in this, that all these twats that are supposed to 'watch' dangerous people are in fact the people who are harassing Targets getting us pissed off to begin with.


Your country is evil. Your system is evil. I can attest this from experience.

Who do I sound like now as I speak in such  a way? Do I sound like a foriegn terrorist, out to fight in one last ditch effort to defend my very life and identity?  WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS COUNTRY AND ITS CRONIES DOES TO PEOPLE IN COUNTRIES LIKE THAT TO GET THEM TO BECOME TERRORISTS?????!!

Covert operations. Psy ops. Black projects etc. These people are a big threat to Israel. Not becuz just their Muslim beliefs but becuz they ARE the original cradle of civilization in Iraq and that area. The Jews know that thier religion can be traced as being ripped off from older cultures as with Christianity being ripped off from Babylon (the trinity etc.).
It seems anyone who seems to possess knowledge or DNA of the ancients who exists outside the modern world or doesnt fit in well as one of its slaves is targeted for deletion. Becuz when trying to enslave humanity, truly spiritual people who live in poverty but are strong in spirit must be destroyed. They wont make very good slaves or consumers. 

I dont know why locally alot of people even want to be part of something so vile as helping the govt pull of the 9-11 deception. 9-11 was a turning point where the powers that be could weed out who was going to be controlable and go along with thier bullshit and who was going to be a problem to the NWO. Its just unbelievable to me that so many people I knew sucked balls so hard and were total assholes and traitors to the Constitution for their own gain. But being Boston, the endless greed of the people in this area was underestimated by me.  This area is full of c*nts who are used to ruling over the rest of the country and getting thier way. Being in a bad economy or being threatened by a war where they might not get thier high quality of life anymore (waaaahh!) and would do anything to get Homeland money, please the intelligence or military industrial complex presence here or some assholes in the mob.

What can one expect from a bunch of assholes who think a child molesting Irish mobster scumbag is a fuckin folk hero? Boston is sick but unfortunately powerful. Of course a country like this needs sick fucks in power who can present a nice clean front to the rest of the world. It works out nicely it seems.
The population here lives in denial about what the organized crime factions do to people to get the money and power they do.

Organized crime has them hypnotized and has for years. Thats the sheep for you. Thats Boston.

Its nice to know there is  a whole country out there where Boston dont mean shit or doesnt even exist for most people. I am asked by people in TX where New England is on the map, they think its a state (hahahaha). There is a  whole world out there were MA doesnt matter, the local scum who fucked me over dont matter and where even America doesnt matter.

I know that everyone who is guilty of destroying my life wants me to just vanish and never come back to Boston again.  But its not possible. They have something of mine and I wont leave until I get it. They took from me during those years and must return what they took. Its the way things work you see.

And for these fools to actually believe I am nothing more than some homeless bitch from a bad family or broken home they can disregard into the past or not care about....what about all the 'help' I got? What about all those white vans and black helicopters?  Why am I still here, sane? 

Becuz I am a very important person. Becuz I had and have power. Becuz I was meant to be powerful to begin with and THEY INTERFERED. I was meant to be a Winner and they ensured I would only lose.  Remember I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A HOMELESS WOMAN. I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO UMASS AND BECOME A COUNCILOR DOING ART PROJECTS ON THE SIDE.

But I couldnt go to UMass becuz that bitch cousin of mine was there getting her PH D in genetic engineering. So she works for the NWO which is why she is left alone as well as her father was in on my gang stalking campaign.
(You are an ordained minister and a Christian yet you work as a genetic engineer. You are working against your 'God' arent you?  Dont think about this too hard. This bitch is just doing what my family and the cops and the mafia wants which is to gain status with a degree and seem religious-becuz it makes a good front to cover for all the criminal activity they were involved in. Not to mention MK Ultra and programming.)

What I dont understand is that I know damn well my mother was conscously involved in my being programmed. I recall her bringing me to a psychiatrist in Brookline MA for sessions related to programming and RA. I also recall her bringing me to locations for what I dont recall its blacked out, but I had to cover my eyes during the ride so I could not see where  we were going.

And I recall distinctly that she and her sleazy wimp boyfriend in the mid 70s took a Dracula comic book away from me, snuck it from me while we were moving in Roslindale one day, and this is probably becuz whoever was involved in the Spiritual Marriage ritual (being married to Satan while in infancy or as a toddler as a way of bonding the cult member to the cult for life. Other kinds of cults use spiritual marriages to the cult leader. In Satanic cults they use a human male as a stand in for the entitity.) in the Satanic cult I faintly recall wore a Dracula cape and looked like the classic movie character.

So if my mother was involved in my being programmed etc why was it such a surprise to her that she was a documented radiation experimentee related to MK Ultra?? 

I have to remember my mother is severely compartmentalized. Ive tested her years ago and she either doesnt remember things or refuses to and makes up her own sequence of events. Usually to avoid painful emotions.

I only had slight abuse at the foster home and people trying to mess with me later on when I was older. Any sexual contact in my childhood I have no memory of. It seems all ritualistic anyway not actually physical.  My mother on the other hand had her father actually raping her and her brother also (mr perfect daughter genetic engineer Christian.) which I dont blame him for becuz thier father caused it. And I dont blame him becuz he was compartmentalized himself. And I now have a theory that pedophiles are created by ritual abuse groups and used as controllers to create such little girls for thier sick fucked up uses in society. Due to the way I was targeted early on in this it was obvious that they were seeing if decent people could be pushed, tortured and brainwashed into being pedophiles. Which of course I didnt go for, becuz I am not one to begin with. Kinky yes, into fucking children, no. I see no thrill in that. I only see harm. But becuz of my kinky fantasy life with my ex and my association with that bitch career criminal the GS system tried to do the Self Fullfilling Prophecy routine- make up shit about the TI and have the public believe it, then whatever you do to them to make  them that way will not come as a surprise to anyone THUS NO ONE WILL SUSPECT ANYTHING DUE TO SEEING A CHANGE IN THE PERSON'S CHARACTER.
You have no idea what I have seen as far as what the Gang Stalkers will do to cause chaos in an area.

In fact this DOES explain why countries riot or war or become terrorists. Ive experienced this first hand. They use the tech and chemicals involved in mind control to stir up shit in the population along with psy ops like gang stalking by human beings. What a scam. Then they can cause unrest, lone shootings, craziness, chaos, violence etc wherever they are deployed. 

Is it true that I have the information in my head that is the answer to true world peace? That I have come face to face with the forces that cause every war, every disaster and every bad thing to happen in our world, and since I can tell people that, this would explain why the military is needed to be so big, why all that money has to go into it and weapons.

Yeah, I suppose if people listened to me I could cost them some money huh?

I know my mother is a multiple and probably she worked on having me programmed in an alter ego. She seemed to know very little about how MK Ultra was connected to the radiation experimentation she'd experienced or even its ties to Satanism and Ritual Abuse. In fact, she did what she always does- listened to what experts and people in authority told her to do, then dropped it when the men in black bullshit stunts came around and tailed her for a while.

I should have never been afraid of her but you gotta understand that she's programmed with some very nasty stuff to either keep me in line or kill  me- as thats been illustrated she is capable of doing. She is programmed like a gate keeper to protect that family of hers. I believe she would murder for them becuz its been programmed into her that way.

Yet look at how controllable she is by these forces. Even when I left for good she was talking about being in therapy where the therapist was telling her she was a female warrior compared to her brother who was being a heartless shit and trying to get her evicted from my grandmother's house (with all that money he spent on his spoiled daughter's wedding, and how much he has he cant help his sister. Of course not- SHES GOT THE GOODS ON HIM. I was told the reason that she is treated better than me is becuz she was the goods on the family and I dont. So its more important to coddle and control HER than  me.).  She still doesnt realize that so many of these people in our lives are PART OF GANG STALKING. They are part of the cult, part of the medical portion of ongoing MK Ultra. Part of the conspiracy.

And they will continue to tell her anything she needs to hear, to get her to continue to put up with her situation, her brother's abuse, the community control on her her delusion that the cops actually respect her and work with her. Her obsession with the Marines and her doing some sort of work for them. Of course she will- becuz she was always more damaged than me, always more controllable. The poor thing is totally traumatized by male authority. She literally has to fear for her life every time male authority is aggressive with her.  I know that cannot be easy.

Me on the other hand, I recall two dolls. A Raggedy Andy and a Raggedy Ann doll. I recall some sort of murder of a little boy. Something ritualistic. A ritual that in its terror was supposed to adhere to me a sensibility about males.(such things are sort of put out of a child's mind as unimportant. Remember little children dont understand death. If you present it to them in such ways they dont understand things like death, murder or that death is the end of life. Thier minds arent formed yet. To die for them is not like it is for older people who have lived. To a child's mind, the other child disappears in a mean way thats put forth by the authorities of the cult. However in a primitive sense the murder does cause the child to be traumatized because on some level they understand the severity of taking human life, probably in some animal way. This is downplayed and muted by the cult. Yet the underlying effect and fear is used to bond messages, programming and the cult's authority to the child.)

Focus was put onto the dolls as a pair. Then after the event of death the Raggedy Andy doll was made obviously to disappear and I was presented with the Raggedy Ann doll. The message told to me I faintly recall was that little boys were not as important as little girls. Also the message was that the cult wouldnt tolerate any males in contact with me that they did not provide or approve of. That the exiting of males was going to be part of my existence, that they were interchangable. And that the cult and authorities would protect me forever against 'little boys' or males that interferred in my activities or life.

(remember many of the memories recalled by Survivors could be or in part 'screen memories' which are put into the person's mind to discredit them etc. The curious thing about memories as mine above are that they MAY NEVER HAVE ACTUALLY OCCURED IN REAL LIFE BUT STILL SERVE TO PRODUCE THE EFFECT OF PROGRAMMING IN THE MIND OF THE RECIPIENT.  In other words, the people over at the False Memory Syndrome foundation or whatever those CIA pedophiles call themselves, might be correct in claiming these are false memories. BUT AS USUAL WITH SUCH DECIEVERS THAT DOESNT MEAN THEY WERE NOT CREATED AND PLACED THERE BY DESIGN FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROGRAMMING. Ive already posted that I discovered that many of the people connected to the FMSF are mathmeticians and computer programmers. And recently I posted about that book I found online about an alleged survivor of programming but as an adult by factions doing classified projects, where exotic, sophisticated technology was used. Could this be the basis of Survivors programming? And perhaps many memories are implanted for the purpose of programming humans virtually?)
I believe this was also done as a strong part of programming to have me purposely NOT fear male authority probably so I could do what I am doing exactly now and look upon all cops, mobsters and politicians as just 'little boys' and know inside that if they did something to interfere with me, the cult would 'take care' of them.
And its happened repeatedly. It also makes it easier for me to deal with the deaths of males around me ongoing in this ordeal. Many people have been harmed, usually males, that either interferred with me, got in the way or were used by scumbag cops locally to try to scare me or intimidate me. Like trying to intimdate to me that I had something to do with the death of someone I was staying in the next room of this SRO. The man was set up and I believe murdered by a drug overdose. Then of course perps are on the bus talking about 'if you think you murdered someone' or something like being suspected of murder.

Its not that I am cold hearted its just that my programming basically makes THE CULT my main man or at least the entity in the spiritual marriage is my 'husband' if you will. No one is going to fuck with me but yet, no human male is ever acceptable for long as a mate. As usual Satanic factions give you power but you have no frickin life. 
It also explains why the black metal guitarist I write about involved in media psy ops was used. This guy claims to be Satan's minister on earth. What more fitting than to regain control of me via tagging onto old programming and RA. Seperate me from my lover Jake, have him betray me, have alot of males in authority abuse me like cops, firemen etc in public spaces, make me seem disrespected by males generally and of course its going to be easy to remove me from the human world as a female and have me be so traumatized I revert to a mental world now with only ghost files of programming due to all the brain damange and destruction of internal worlds,  where the system can have me marginalized from every HUMAN person I used to know and replace my life with a sort of virtual one where old programming is used to latch onto, so that this 'Satans minister on earth' is now somehow a stand in for the entity just as whoever it was in the original spiritual marriage ritual. 

This might be also some sort of bigger work the Satanists are doing such as bringing in a Satanic Age by doing things to all the people connected to the cult. It might be that all females with that ritual experience during a certain point during Bush were to have an experience bonding to the entity (using tech to fool the person of course) but there must always be a living male to SYMBOLIZE the entity. 

Its great to feel protected and uh, so taken care of  but the constant torment is just a bit much for me to deal with. I didnt mind living with my programming in the backround in the old days or even recovering memories so I could go through them and become a better person- but whatever the world has become whatever has happened since Bush specifically DURING Bush, its very demanding. Its like people like me are supposed to not live normal lives. I want to just be a normal human being again whos a recovering RA Survivor.

The problem is that all of the tech used creates in our reality now a world of mind control we live  under. For Survivors this helps the cult to keep us in a virtual reality, of which they have created partially through RA, gang stalking etc.

Even the programming I have thats supposed to be 'good' in nature- Rosicrucian or Templar monk is a drag to have to exist in as if its reality every day. It was just a part of myself  before. Internal programming is not all that makes up a person. Its only buried in parts of their minds. What this system does is try to do actual brain damage and modification (keeping me from my normal life before being targeted heavily) so that the person HAS nothing else left other than programming to be thier identities.

Its probably part of the human experimentation to see if they can create robotic humans who can be reduced to just programming. That is what it seems like.

Yet I have created other identities. I am a Traveler. I have friends, I travel the country and meet people who know nothing about this other stuff- I hope.   But there is always this knawing inside of me, and the unresolved injustice of what was done creating a rift. Which is why people who dont know everything about us or understand us think Survivors are crazy. You try leading a double or triple life as well as fighting the NWO as an activist and see how much pressure you can take. Its not easy when the same faction seems to be pushing you into being a Satanist willfully but also a Christian which makes very little sense- other than to hide the reality of programming  I assume. I notice they refuse to allow any sort of  Hermetic content like in my Rosicrucian programming.  I dont quite understand that. Perhaps adhereance to established religion due to it validating the man made world as it stands now is what they require.

Lately with failing health and being targeted what seems more heavily with tech I feel myself breaking apart. I can no longer keep up my worldly identity or, I am being forced to give up this RA and programming knowledge of myself in favor of existing purely as my mundane self, the Traveler etc.

Whoever is behind whats going on in the NWO they are elitists who believe humanity must be programmed and designed according to thier wishes. They dont believe for instance that someone like myself should have been left alone to reprogram. What was it in me that was good, thought of humanity and wanted only to reprogram in 2004 or so to use my life experience to help people and also serve myself finally by being allowed to express my artistic talent? Whatever that was- Balance, thier 'god' or even light bearing Lucifer I dont know. I know that it was something good that existed in me held onto since childhood. A natural intelligence that exists in all human life.


So whoever the 'elite' are and whatever they are doing to bring on the NWO, it seems to be oppressive, dictorial and not in the interest of love or light or helping humanity.  They seem to desperately want to build this structure of thiers, but its very inhuman in nature. But I must say it is very big. And structured. But its anti human.

I hope someone read all of this, the angry rant and the breaking into actually being able to reveal some information on a Sunday.

Becuz by tomorrow in this location I will be experiencing living under whatever is in this area that keeps me forgetful, dumbed down, and unable to remember or reveal what I really want to. Its almost appropriate to say 'goodbye' until next Sunday or a holiday. Sad really.