“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Unable To Get Health Care Due To Conditions Being Unbearable In The City

With someone traveling. Feel weaker and sicker than i ever have before. Want to try to get out of USA but might be too sick to do.so.

The pain in my right side, connected to my intestinal bleeding twice this year and l having to do.with pain in my liver is just too great.

Ive never been this week on the road before.

For once I.may have to quit and go back to.the city. The pain in my sode is almost constant.

Yet the city os unbearably hot this year. July qnd August have been increasingly unbearable for me heat wise.

So i thought it wpuld be logical to leave and go north where itz cooler for a month or so.
But to be even too weak, tired and in pain to make it north is just unheard of with me.

I can function under pain or.illness usially by compartmentalizjng it and 'ignoring' it.
How hard Ive been pushed to perform over the past ten years has me now trained basically to.function by working off the old programming system of compartmentalization but without any safety stops. Like I am 'not allowed' to acknowledge I am weak.or too ill to perform somethin or go somewhere.

I am pretty sure the GS system has engineered this over time. By the way the gang stalking has gkne its been to destroy me all alog. So of course getting me to just run myself into my grave is pretty much what they are trying to.do.

The people behind this KNOW the way Survivors are set up mentally amd emotionally. They know we are easy to make self destructive without any stips to that behavior.

Or to.tap into the programming system and to work off off the way we can complete an action or task with little or no.regard to.our own lives.

They know just how to hack into or.work off.of our original programming sustems after they alter the structure especially with gang staalking, to turn our assets or programmjng against us to our own dedtruction.

Make life is unbearable for me here and make it impossible for me to write my book or take care of the body (my health) and of course I will think going to another country is the answer. All I know how to.do.is to think to escape to another 'section' of a map necuz to me they appear to be compartments. Each area has different conditikns. So perhaps another area on the globe has conditions rivht for my survival and the completion of delivery of information (book) if I go there.

Everywhere I go in the USA is gang stalked. There is absolutely no.place to.get away from it here in the US now, unless you go.to live on the side.of.a.mountain in New Mexico or other wifi free zones Ive been to.

Its unthinkable to stay in the US anymore.

To get to.another country even this ill might be worth it just to see if freedom can be aquired before.illness takes over.

I vant do the laparoscopy anyway becuz I keep.thinkong they are going to try to kill me on the table when I get medicated or when they do the procedure, someone will 'accidentally' screw up or other purposeful bad luck nomsense.

After that doctor at BMC did what she did and after being so.mistreated over the years by medical staff here in the USA I feel they are capable.of murddr, outright. Its what they have been partaking in all along anyway.

Look at my health condition as of now. How did I get this sick? With so many injuries and so much damage?

By beng afraid to.go.to medical doctors due to past harassment and terrorizjng.

Its not worth it to.stay in the USA.

I cant function in an area so.close to my hometown, family qnd birthplace. What happened keeps grindkng down my mind daily.

I personally dont expect to.have any life or a future, but I.want my loss to be worth it by teling the whole world what happened. Then i can pass in peace after the story has been told.

This system wants to keep me alove.it seems and silenced abojt what happened.

Its a daily torment and misery I cannot live with.

Alot.of jerks who are in on this, cruel types have been writing media psy ops tyoe crap with titles like between two.worlrds etc. Ske bitch I befriended mentioned.it in a stupid taro card reading. Total manipulative mind gamer assholedom.

So the people who helped put me into.this state.of.being know very well what they have done. And they know that arranging things so someone has to exist as an alter who lives normally whike working on much more serious , damaging content is enough to.destroy someone no matter how strong their internal programing system was designed to be.

Becuz they know how the system is set up so they know how to mess with it to create a certain reztructurng within the programmed person.

They want the victim to have to appear normal or to.live normally while hidinv whats really occured, which is wby its so important to keep brainwashing the Target intodelaying their work just one more day, then another on so on until it hecokes years-becuz no one is going to believe them etc.

The other choice is for the Survivor to totally give up being compartmentalized and break down into being only focused on what really hapened which of course is the completion of forced deprogramming and breaking down the Survivors programming, which means destroyjng once and for all their talents, intelligence, and everything that makes them artistic or special.

Its the ultimate brainwashinv into the cukt that exists today that is the NWO.

Its titally unacceptabke and should be avoided at the cost of death of the physical body, which they seek to make the Survivor fear with long term torture and dedtruction of health
The city arlund Boston and Cambridge are impossble to.navigate. Too many perps, too many ghetto pieces of shit, yuppies, rich kids. Its also an oven in July and August and all those demographics just become more annoying to deal with. .