The harassment stopped for a day and has lessened considerably. I think I know why. I think I might be in the middle of that trap I was warned about.
Its funny. You have to decide between making a compromise becuz they've got you so down your health is at stake. To make a compromise in your beliefs in order to get healthcare that will save your life and make you healthy so you can fight again competently.
I knew this would happen. I knew something would come through where I, like everyone else who sold ME out, I would have to make a compromise. But at least I didnt do so out of greed or out of a mere threat to me or my family. Like a fearful coward. I am doing so becuz I really am getting so sick I cant function and need help getting a look at what is going on with my health.
I dont know. Maybe if I arrived in Canada they would just get me on thier healthcare and I could take care of what I need without the assholes here making me miserable. Then again isnt Canada the original home of Dr Cameron? It sounds as if the GS is really bad up there. Like it would be worse for my health to go up there.
I have an appointment to find out whats wrong with me in mid July. In order to successfully accomplish this I have to compromise my beliefs.
Seriously, they have had me on constant non stop harassment wherever I land in the past year. Its been terrible. I was unable to function.
And something still tells me that this place is going to become a prison with doors shut and bolted soon..for some reason. Its like they want to get someone like me to compromise, to ensure I am like them. Like I would sell out just to save my own life. And it is coming to that with how sick I have been.
Knowing me I will end up leaving and sticking to my convictions. Becuz this already feels like shit. I didnt do all this and come this far so I could feel like the asshole I did back when I didnt realize that my family, friends and lovers were all stupid, perverted, greedy, self serving, cowardly pieces of shit who were way beneath my level to begin with and I never should have had to be around them in the first place.
All my work in the last ten years cant be for naught.