“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Monday, May 7, 2012

Coming Down To The Wire

Doing just OK lately. Very bad with being baited. If ever anyone wanted evidence of my being a jerk, they've got miles of footage by now.

Going to dig my heels in and try to fix the original situation. If not it will be just tying up loose ends and off, away from America for good.

I keep getting dissed and mistreated still so many places. I wonder if they want a confession, if that is all they are looking for.
If they wanted information then a subpeona long ago would have been appropriate. Now, if that is indeed the case, its a pure battle of Wills and thier determined to prove thier sick, demented system can make anyone 'talk' or be coerced into coming in with thier tail between thier legs begging to make the campaign stop in exchange for information.
Why does this strike me as typical for males in power to think like this?

And all that might apply if THEY WERENT DOING ALL OF THIS TO COVER UP FURTHER HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION DURING BUSH AND THE FACT THAT MK ULTRA AND RELATED PROJECTS NEVER CEASED. So you take someone who's a Survivor of a mind control project, programmed or whatever, destroy thier mind to see how programming breaks down and simultaneiously have them in a behavior modification program to beat them down into being below average and socially compliant with society's norms, and when that doesnt work, you continue to beat the targeted person down, treating them like a terrorist you are trying to get information out of, even though your own people were responsible for creating that person's state of mind to begin with. Just to prove that these new methods based on MK Ultra's research, can indeed, gain information from a programmed 'agent' or person(s) then mind wipe them basically and reformat them to neutralize any programming that was there prior.

I am not playing this game with them. They were very clever about this becuz they know that if I tell my story outside of cloaking it as a novel or sci fi book firstly it will destroy whatever is left of me as an artist, due to that action basiclaly is akin to my ripping my insides out and handing it over to the public, then dropping dead. Which I know the public enjoys immensely, but no artistic person whould have to be forced to produce any kind of work that does not allow them to keep thier dignity, themselves, their privacy or remian secretive.

I think they want artists in our society right now destroyed moreso than terrorists which obviously they are well familiar with even though they hand bullshit to the publc about not knowing how and why suicide bombers operate etc etc.

Yet if I dont tell people what happened and soon in a short form, things will progress just as they are and nothing will change,which of course it has to becuz this course we are in is not the right one. Its ludicrous that people would even be acting this way.

But if I do that, the former mentioned consequences as well as they get a 'confession' of information. Believe me there's been pressure all along. And its been manipulative, not a genuine need to catch criminals. Its all about control and the people involved in this always revere thier sick games more than any actual work they might be doing in the process.
In fact I think that the control games is really all that matters in the end.

Also been overeating lately like I have never seen myself do before. Its getting ridiculous. I cant determine if its due to the stress and pressure or if its due to my health issue.