Cambridge I never realized is about wasting time, behavior modification and getting me to stay here when I should have left already. This is accomplished by very subtle controls by the behavior modification system here. Every time I go into Boston (not Woods Mullen at night for a bed or leaving from there in the morning) in the afternoon, especially around Fenway area, where I have so many memories of horrific abuse and torture over many years time, I realize that what happened to me is real.
Within Boston city limits I realize that I can have much better recall than in Cambridge. I have posted many times about experiencing memory loss in Cambridge MA and it makes it impossible to get things done. I also am not working on my story due to Cambridge having the power to make me feel too comfortable, too at ease and at the same time making recall of what happened very fuzzy, or intermittent. Its very muted here or softened the memories, as if they have the tech to soften PTSD now so one cant recall painful memories.
I dont know why I dont wake up the fact Harvard and MIT are right here. I get so much done here or feel like I do, due to the resources available I can face the reality that this place has put my life and health at risk by keeping me here as well as delayed my work by making it hard to focus on work. I dilly dally alot. Cambridge provides this ultimate safety. I could grow old here and never write me story. Its very dangerous.
When I am in Boston I feel vital and alive. I ask myself why have I not make more progress? Its a total waste of time I have been here since June and gotten relatively little done. And I have to face the fact that when I come back in May that when school ends much of the tech that is mass mind control here will be shut down, it seems thats the way it works, and there will be a rise in gang stalking activity to control either TI's or the population in general.
It seems I have been fooled by Cambridge. The mind control here is so subtle and they make it easy to stay here with all the services in Central Sq area. The constant subtle mind control seems to be towards trying to get me to become an activist for other causes and pretty much forget about what happened to me during Bush and tackling that.
I feel much more watched here than I do in Boston, also monitored over the computer. Its a total trap and becuz there are resources you just dont see it.
Their ability to monitor, control memory recall and create a near constant interface that shapes and forms the Target's mind and personality is much more advanced than Boston- either that or Boston actually has a much better sense of justice and human rights as I often feel when I am in Boston that I should get my shit together and take action on behalf of my situation. In Cambridge around MIT and Harvard I enter a realm of comfort, forgetfulness and ease that becomes a place where I lose my sense of direction and self and lose my goals.
Its been being put into my mind repeatedly and subtly that I should eventually give up the idea of writing this book or going through years of documentation. And its so subtle, mentally and emotionally as an ideation, that I cant fight it as i cant notice it anything but subconsciously. Which means is more deadly than overt gang stalking to keep one from one's goals ever could be.
When in Boston city limits I cannot believe I am still here, and the state of my health, my weight and my lack of work completed just astounds me. Cambridge is a total trap. Yet I notice that during the summer months when school is out, the gang stalking around Boston is much higher, and makes getting anything done near impossible compared to Cambridge.
At some point I and other TI's have to admit to ourselves that human experimentation is still going on connected to MK Ultra (as my mother is a documented human radiation experimentee I am pretty sure then its continuing from that) and that major universities like MIT and Harvard and other institutions are still actively participating- and that no one is going to stop this becuz no one except us and the perps know about it. Its hidden from the public probably under National Security.
I ve been reading my posts as well. Much of the public is not going to believe what I am making claim to anyway. If I wrote my book it would put things into better perspective and be more believable if people could see what happened in sequence.
There are also alot of people who treat me like shit becuz I now realize they probably think I am making it up. That bitch Norma, that fat old bitch in the homeless scene, the one who works at Macy's who is always so negative when she butts into your conversation to begin with, and worse shes a negative KNOW IT ALL. Shes horrid. She is the one that was at Woods Mullen years ago and was making fun of me something about the mafia and how some working girls couldnt get out of the business. She hates anyone who works in adult entertainment. Thats why she wont stay at Pine St shelter. She must have some hang up about working girls like her dad used to see them or spend family money on them or her husband- something she cant face about her own stupid, pathetic life has made her blame it on a whole class of people she knows nothing about.
She was also stupid enough to believe the cover story. I suggested a theory of how authorities singled out a drug mule at the airport in the newspaper one day and she said "Now yer just making things up". This is the general treatment of me in much of the homeless scene. That is the major difference between people who travel and sleep outside and people who are shelter rats. The people who travel and urban camp tend to be from wealthy homes and/or very savvy about the way the world works, the corruption in the system. Shelter rats, by thier nature, are dependent on the system itself so can never fully accept just how corrupt it is.
One has to wonder why she has been homeless for so long. She also claims to have been a nurse but then she once told me that depression was Satan and that people are born into incestuous families, that of course also being 'Satanic' and that you have to have compassion for such people. She said it like a typical believer in God that looks down thier nose at the afore mentioned kind of people.
All these women that look down on sex workers and victims of sexual abuse or incest victims. When, exactly are THEY going to face thier own sh*t and stop trying to hide behind women (and men) who at least had or have the balls to act out in some way against that oppression even if it originally is a negative acting out? Many people become sex workers as a way of empowering themselves against an oppressive situation in a society that seems to do nothing really but not want to know the truth. Which is why sex workers and the industry has to remain shrouded in mystery in the frickin 21st century. This country does not want to know how prevelant all these problems are and instead of being grown up like Europe and facing that these things happen so lets deal with the realities, they want to keep it in the closet.
Like I said yesterday in my post about this nation wanting to remain naive about the realities of the entertainment business. They need companies like Disney- where would they go two weeks out of the year to forget reality? Its totally insane and once you have been through the worst side of corruption in the US you see just how crazy and dangerous America really is. If they have any sympathy at all for you much of it is done from on high, looking down thier noses at you. True its a much more forgiving country than say, Britain but its inability to face hard realities makes it oppressive by its very nature. And since late Clinton/Bush its only gotten worse.
I am tolerated and even accepted many places becuz America is a forgiving country. What makes me angry and want to reject that acceptance is that they are not doing it becuz they actually understand me or believe what I am claiming. They seem to often be doing it based on kindness and thinking I am a screw up from a bad childhood or even mental illness. And all they have to do is look at the research I have spent years of my life doing instead of having a life like normal people. So its not as nice as it seems for a country to be accepting or forgiving. Often this makes it hard for the person to judge exactly what is going on in thier situation. I dont need acceptance. I need medical care, a therapist and the ability to live inside undisturbed so that I can complete my work and take care of my health. Those very basic things are impossible for me to have as I am never sure that I am believed or just tolerated in the USA. So I dont dare try or lay money down only to have something not work out.
I could have gotten so much more work done here and all I have done is sleep alot since winter and gotten from a size 14 to a 16. I look terrible and this place has way to much mold everywhere for me to have stayed this long and be healthy. And I have been showing signs of my health suffering from how moldy and humid it is here in the winter. And i cant leave. why? I actually have been having thoughts everytime I try to leave that keep me here against my wishes. Like that I can get more done here so keep going, which is a lie: look at how much has not been done due to weather and my failing health. The most recent ideations of why I cant leave is that I am too tired to travel, my travel days are over or that I will have something horrible happen this time if I leave.
Hmm where have I heard that before: Oh yes, in my YOuTube video I favorited called 'Mind Control Cults' where they say that one of the tactics of cult mind control is to threaten the person when they leave that something will happen to them thus keeping them prisoner.
