I have to learn once and for all that I cant live in Boston or Cambridge or MA at all. Not through the winter. And I have to realize that things are not as they were before the federal investigation and Bush. I am seen as nothing but a trouble maker. And whoever is behind this is willing to keep at it as long as I do, to continue to support Julie, her clients backers and friends as well as Jake his people and my family all against me.

I am considered one lone trouble maker in comparison to the many wonderful (well to do) people who are involved in this.

I know I cant get back what was supposed to be mine or what was taken from me at 335 Washington St in Brighton. They are keeping that for themselves and each year that passes even writing my whole story seems to not be able to give me hope that I will retrieve what is MINE from 335 Washington st that still exists there. The tech in place here now fully manages people like me and its become completely hopeless to ever fight Boston's system. The tech here is so constant and heavy I will be lucky to get out again this time. Everytime I return I get stuck due to old memories and unfinished business only to exist in a place that refuses to let me have back what is mine and wants me to be driven out of town again WITHOUT getting done what I want to get done or it wants me to bow down to it by forgetting about what is owed me and taking back what is mine and just going to UMass and letting the same people who destroyed me now redefine me.

When am I going to learn that Boston is too full of rich snobs and competely fucked acedemia to ever be a decent place to live. Its one of the sickest places on the planet, and its only gotten much much sicker through the use of constant mind control tech. Its obvious now that things like Being John Malchevich and The Truman Show are nothing more than just more exploiting sick psychological experiments or games set up by psychiatry people who are basically Satanic in nature and like Dr Cameron's work.

This place is hopeless. Its been so long since I lost what was mine here through heavy gang stalking that staying here is pointless. But now I am kept here against my Will basically. The powers that be here want me to do things THIER way which means forgetting the facts and reality about what happened. I try to remember to call lawyers and I cant. I try to get a ticket out of here I forget or am too tired.

I have to remember that Boston is now existing in the newly constructed HELL system. There is nothing left of the old REAL Boston. Not even memories as those are not even allowed to exist. The system now runs everything. Its so much worse than you think and its so much worse than TI's let on.

I feel ok right now due to it being like 3 or 4am. The only freedom in the whole world is 2:30 am to 4:30 am. The most quiet and peaceful time as well as the least influence. Even today with not alot of the normal tortures like constant interface, I felt constantly watched and monitored here at MIT. I feel like everything I do on the internet is being monitored by security. And I am being analyzed constantly.

I think its best to leave the country if you can. I think its this Echelon satellite system doing this. We now have the means for a true prison. Constant monitoring and surveillance. Its really bad here in this educational mecca. They probably feel they must control the educated youth while pulling off all this bs around the world.

I need to learn that any future I have here is fake. This time line is fake and shouldnt exist. I should not be homeless in the condition I am in. I should have been able to follow my wanting to be a councillor and artist and settle somewhere.

I refuse to believe that this time line is totally acceptable to everyone. I cannot believe how oppressive Boston is now, and Cambridge. Its totally hopeless but during the hours of being targeted I cannot admit that to myself. The system in place now is meant to re write history and people and not allow any reality or telling of truths about anything that happened here during BUSH. That is why Romney getting into office is especially dangerous.

I was supposed to start the process of trying to see if there are classes or some program for dirt poor Americans to go to Europe. During the day I am so tired I just sleep half the day, mostly due to Benedryl probably as well as winter.

I just got the ideation that someone read my comment I wrote about the lone shooter theory and Romney and me leaving the country instead and I got this impression that they believe I am just like my mother and am saying that for attention. They also believe that I will eventually burn out like her and give up trying to get attention and die out into silence.

Once again here in MA I have to contend with the constant idea that I am either like my mother or dealing with being targeted like my father- by traveling Europe instead of staying here. I have posted that this is a constant torture here, that I am either like one or the other parent. Thus I am torn apart, my actions invalidated by me having to realize that those actions did not work for either parent prior so why would they work for me?

This area is too full of people treating me like a lab monkey and trying to train me. Constantly. I have to go somewhere else and get revenge elsewhere. And I really do have to get serious about leaving the US health issues and all.
They want me to stay through Romney or one more Obama. Its degradation so why not right? Especially they want me to stay during Romney the ultimate submission to the male oppressors who did this namely the neocons. I may have to get out carelessly with no planning becuz I cant plan through all this interference but I must go.

I cant believe that no one cares. That it was so easy to just destroy someone through such severe and evil means. Thats why I have to get out of here. Most people here just disregard me anyway. They may smile at me but I think I have been pretty much discredited. America hates me and they dont respect me anyway. They hate all poor people unless yer evoke sympathy through race and then they have to hide their hatred very carefully so as not to interfere with business. Its not my country, its not for me it doesnt even like me or respect me. I have been taken out of my own life and tossed around by a system bigger than me with rich people who suck and thier house slaves. Its not a place that I want to have anything to do with any longer. I can never get my privacy back or my life or sense of self. I can only resist partially some behavior modification that simly wants to get me educated, working and settled- to forget what the system owes me what it took from me.

Some tacky Indian woman the other day here at MIT in the student center spoke of me ( I assume) and said "Shes a prostitute and she's crazy"like that summed up my existence totally. So that is the extent of years of suffering and research. Years of doing this and I get no credit, I see now that this was all a diversion to keep me from building any kind of life in the USA.

I will NOT play this game that my grandmother played with my uncle for years. The family scapegoats the kids who are victims of abuse of the father and mother as accomplice. A strong kid like my uncle may present a problem due to perhaps waking up to the fact he is a victim not a bad person. There fore all the kids need to be controlled constantly and kept tied tight to the family. This ensures no victim witnesses against the perpetrator. My mother would say stupid things like "Your no more a black sheep than Tommy". In my head I wud be like "Listen bitch, I dont even acknowledge this fake ass family set up youve got going on here as legit anyway. Why are you stupid enough to try to base an attack on me from that area?" The point is that if you let the PERP make you feel like a perp not the VICTIM then they perp will be able to manipulate you with guilt that you have to prove yourself worthy to The Family or the group or in my case proper civilized society. Then you spend all this time feeling bad when in fact you are a mess to begin with due to someone fucking you up in ways they should be forced to pay for and they should be forced to come to justice and then prove themselves.

This is the value of a cover story and smear campaign. This is the way it works. Brainwashing and mind control. They think they are so f*cking smart and they are just strong arming you into submission. Dont submit thats all becuz its wrong. Its that simple. Giving into this kind of manipulation is wrong. And for what was done to me, its definately the wrong thing to do, for myself and for other TI's.

I dont know why I cant get it through to myself that this area of the country will stop at nothing to get me to bend to their way of doing things. To not write a book but to carelessly confess, then forget and move on go to UMass. Its impossible to make it work here. This place has always had an extremely abusive gang stalking system that kept me down for years and ruined my life. WHY am I thinking that has changed? Just becuz they came at me overtly during Bush and that I know what it is now or understand its tech not really happening daily, why do I think that has changed THEM, becuz it hasnt. THEY will still stop at nothing to keep me quiet and the best t hey can do is to continue a smear campaign or act as if they won already with comments like that.