“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Hit Hard Lately Trying To Ensure I Waste My Money and Cant Get Out of USA

Been doing very very badly lately as I always do in Boston area if I stay here for over just a few months.

Of course the weather sucks. June is supposed to be warm. Its been rainy and cold at night.

Every time I go outside of Cambridge specifically Harvard Sq I get heavily targeted to the point where I appear severely depressed. Its constant non stop gang stalking along with being targeted heavily now with tech. As soon as I return to Cambridge city limits these effects subside. Harvard Sq area is THE only safe place for  me to stay in the metro Boston area at this time. If I were to stay in Harvard all day long I would not be effected as I am. I have to go through Boston to get to storage and to run errands.

Runs to storage in Southie were NEVER this hard. I believe they are trying to run me out of my storage space before I have time to properly store important things elsewhere. In fact its the only reason they would try to divert my focus so badly in these days approaching when I have to choose to pay my storage bill or vacate. IF they can divert me in these days I will be forced to spend 40 more dollars for another month and will then have to either stay here or at least come back here to get my things or just waste 40 dollars thus making it more probable I cant leave the area.

Becuz I notice that they are trying to ensure I cant spend that  money on storing certain things elsewhere so I can proceed to try to leave the USA.

Also today I was once again harassed and hit until I was indeed clinically depressed. I went to see about a backpack for long term travel. When in the store something gave me ideations that I should stay here, that I should get lawyers and sue, that if I leave the USA the very people who are doing this will have an even easier time killing me or harassing me outside the USA.  That the kinds of people doing this perhaps the international cult networks or whatever you want to label them, will be in the next place I go anyway so why leave where at least in the Boston area I do have some pull from former friends, family or just people Ive known for a while in Harvard around the area.

Thats all true but one of the reasons I want to leave is I cant stand being hit really hard in Southie, South Station, Park Street, Copley areas and especially put into clincal depression by all the gang stalking on the MBTA subways (and tech is used to it seems. Ive documented that in the past) and beaten down with brainwashing and low level sexual arousal (used in a torture method that I cant stand much longer after years of this) to become absolutely convinced that no one is going to believe me becuz I am discredited and I should leave the country only to be hit with content in a camping store that then fills my mind, almost instructionally, with play by play or piece by piece plans to do just the opposite.

I  am sick of living in a country that has become so saturated with mind control that a human being who is intensely focused on like myself lives much like a mindless puppet or is expected to accept that role.

This is why the Boston harassment focuses on 'breaking' me so hard. If I am finally broken with no Will then it will be easy to take my mind as it is now very much like a wiped clean slate more and more (the more I stay in MA and the north east actually!) and simply have me live by instructions alone. Doing what I am instructed to do by the tech and the gang stalkers, who will then shape my every move, action and thought.

This entire system seeks to break human beings down to being obedient to a force or system similar to thier Abrahamic gods or the Judaic-Christian 'God'.  This is why religion is no longer needed to manage the population in society. Anyone who claims any sort of higher power has guided thier actions in a very distinct and definate way is the recipient of mind control and brainwashing via these technologies, chemical influence and probably organized stalking and harassment.

EVERY single time I come back here I get almost the same exact results. I just have an obsession with beating this place- like an enemy you cant rest until you've beaten. Your nemesis. I know if I go overseas Boston and its always winning in these battles when I return will eat me up until the day I die.  But if that is what survival is about then I must leave.

I dont want to stay and fight. Its not worth it. Ive been around the country and there is NO PLACE safe from mind control influence. If there is, then youve got the area saturated by gang stalking and harassment tactics by live and in person human beings.

TIs say its international. I dont care. I just want to get out of here.

Theres got to be some chemical they use in Boston or girls on the pill thier hormones getting into the water supply becuz I get the same results ever time I am here: I get fat no matter what the weather, I am so aroused daily that I cant focus on day to day matters (which makes me alot easier for the system to then manipulate with sexual humiliation etc. Ive always had uncontrolled sex drive in this location. Ever since I can remember...the first time I left this area to travel I couldnt believe that life outside of sex existed in other areas of the USA. Like you could actually focus on other things in life! And that is something I cannot beat about Boston and the northeast generally. I have no idea why its like that here but it is. Its dangerous becuz its then easy to use sexual torture on me. Perhaps its something the system purposely puts out in chemtrails. Now I think about it...smart people. Thinking people. People that would go against the NWO or whatever- yeah, keeping them horned out is ultimately controlling such a population with sexuality. Ensuring there is plenty of keep down, drug addiction, overeating at fine restaraunts, depression, controlled anger, shaming potential, control of power through sexual services and black mail.

Its got to be on purpose. Boston area is too rich and smart to NOT  keep down with sex.  It does often feel like its something in the air moreso than tech with the constant hornyness. Its actually unbearable and my endometriosis was always a problem in this area due to it being so sexually charged. My endo doesnt even flare up in other locations-its dangerous becuz ever time it does it can leave more scar tissue to build up on old surgery scars or elsewhere. I dont need this bullshit. I am so aroused here in this area that I am aggressive or in physical pain. This is often an underlying reason I leave and in a hurry.  Due to my being on the road having caused permanent damages to my genitals from various causes, I cant really have sex. Its been that way for years. Its the price of fighting the system and like a true soldier I am not bound to whine about it. Its all a part of losing a body part so you can kill the enemy. I just dont care.

People dont realize what programmed means. Its like being Terminator. No matter what you do to that machine it is not going to stop until it gets crushed under something like in the movie so it cannot physically move due to not having a body. That is being programmed. They pissed me the fuck off, so its all been triggered, just as I assume some designer working in the backround wanted it to be, while all the other idiots involved keep thinking that I am a normal human being who can be behavior modified. Did anyone ever try to behavior modify the Terminator? You have to wonder just how bright some of the people invovled in this really are. They actually believe that they can stop something like this. YOU asked for it now YOU are going to get what you asked for. All I am going to do is write a book. That is my mission. And it will be completed. I am not wasting my time with considerations about normal life or suing people or other bs. If I can have some sort of interesting life while I complete this then great, like being a Traveler. But my personal life was stripped from me in 2004. There is no such thing anymore. That person doesnt even exist. Ive created other alters to live out my life to amuse myself and get by in society as I complete my mission which is revealing to the whole world what I saw and what I know about programming, MILABs and gang stalking as well as the assholes here who helped the system destroy me.

Trying to get me to have some sort of normal life and 'start over again' as that idiot Rebecca said in St Louis or get a job and save for retirement- these are all impossibilities. Potential for that no longer exists. YOU wanted to help them destroy me so YOU got what you wanted. YOU prevented me from going to a therapist to do this properly so YOU now have only base programming and an alter or two left to deal with but the base programming is ALL.

These assholes are trying to set me up I know it. As some sort of lone unibomber or shooter or some shit. Dont worry before I leave I will write letters to lawyers and law enforcement making sure that when I leave the country some double doesnt do a dirty deed and some jerks from the US dont come trying to pin it on me. I will never let that happen and neither will whoever protects me. You can all go fuck yourselves. I was told some assholes tried to frame me up for robbing a bank when this first started. Drop dead...I hope my protectors have made sure you already have. lol.

My book. Thats all. Delivery of information. You can keep dangling images of that fuck face Romney in front of me all you want. It wont be a diversion believe me. The USA deserves that fucker and I wont be here to experience the pure dread,horror and destruction when that sociopath takes his throne and finally all his little helpers in MA can get favors from him for getting him elected. Fuck all these assholes. I so cannot wait to get out of here.

The public deserves the Mormons. People have no idea what is going on out there in the south west. How can you? You're busy here thinking about money and sex all the time.
Thinking you know everything and are smarter than the rest of the USA. It is so phenomenally f*cked up out there its one of the most unbelievable things I have ever seen in my life.

Hasnt anyone noticed how many people who were born Mormon have been in on this, who seem to not even have any understanding of that being a factor? America has been so rotten to me over these past years and if those people are all intel people or operatives and not the public then the country is screwed anyway and the public deserve whatever they get for being so incredibly dumb and brainwashed.

Go ahead, elect Romney. The system will probably arrange it so its America's most recent golden age. The  Republican who brings the balance back to America. He's been govenor of MA such a Liberal state (which now I see he was probably placed there just so he could look less Conservative, Republican, Neocon and insane like the rest of them) and he's not a Texas crazed Christian right oil man like Bush yada-yada-yada. They set this up so damn well. Its disgusting really.

They've even tried to dictate to me MY place in Romney's presidency. I am to become a champion of the homeless and my being a person who is a bit of an elitist or wanting some sort of seperation between high functioning productive homeless and the trash, my activism will fit right in with his Liberal Republicanism- I was even given the idea that we should work together!  Like a team!! Even if I never meet him personally you know, our work on public issues will align so that it works well together. ISNT THAT SPECIAL??!! Ive gone through all this and suffered a total destruction of my personal life, health and any art career I may have had so I can work alongside my enemies for the betterment of mankind!!

And all along I was watched, dictated to, taught how to handle chaos and problems with total non reaction and emotionlessness, I have become almost purified, as if part of some religion or by god or....WAIT A MINUTE!! ITS LIKE MORMONISM!!!

Yeah its just like what that sick cult of assholes does to its own people. And that is what they are going to do to this country. BYE becuz I wont be here. They watch young women and use covert tactics to intimidate them. To make sure they are doing what they are supposed to do as it was once put to me that way.

I refuse to give any of these assholes any happy endings. I am going to give the people the truth. Then I am going to abondon this nation the way its been doing to me for the past ten plus years.

When you finally really see the US for what it is, for what it does world wide its downright frightening. When you realize whats under the cities, when you really scan or use your imagination and see what it must have looked like before these bad replicas of Europe were built- these false environments made by EuroAmericans and thier house slaves- that on that very land there were a people living on it who were genocided. I just cant live with that anymore.

Yet we have to never tell on what the Jews do, here or in Palenstine, becuz of one mass effort of genociding them (and other peoples who get overshadowed by them and their suffering and death.) I am sick of the lies, the sideshow that is the United States. I refuse to agree that Blacks are the only people in history to ever be enslaved or that Jews are the only people in history to be genocided or expelled repeatedly.   Not after going out to New Mexico many times and seeing an actual culture and language that still survive. That shows me whats been lost on most of the rest of the land. 

That plus seeing how insane the Mormons are. All these blonde people walking around in 120 degree heat without it bothering them who have erected one of the most disturbing cult cities I have ever seen. WHO PLANS A CITY where there is not one area that can be spotted by the human eye where one could squat or hide? Talk about methodical and control freaks.  Its was more than just a Squatter discovering that Salt Lake City was probably not a city friendly to travelers. As a person investigating strange and sometimes awful things that shouldnt even exist in our world, but do and are creating a reality for us now-it struck me as a place where you werent allowed to hide. You werent allowed to beat thier system or go against thier rules.

What kind of world is it where people are not allowed to play the odds or have a back route or clever way to get around a system or form alternative routes, ideas or cultures? THAT was my problem with it. If you are at all a camper or Squatter you know how to look for spots just riding in a bus. I went on trains and buses. I am telling you that place was built to make it so no one can hide or sleep outside.

And what about the things that happened to me when I go stranded in that little Mormon town Grantsville for the night? I got so fucked with I ended up ragefully walking out of the town on a dangerous major highway with snakes crawling around on it.

Someone told me outsiders are not "welcome" in those little Mormon towns. WHY NOT?? Arent I a US citizen?? Arent they? Isnt that still on US soil?  Why are we not welcome??

Let me tell you something- what I experienced out in the southwest was an entire culture that has this idea that they own that area of the country. That thier special interests like military, Mormons etc can do whatever they like and no one is allowed to come play  in thier sand box.    From the east coast you go west and think that the farm areas are weird with this farmer's sense of ownership over land and towns. Then you see TX and are in awe of how one person or family can have so much land to themselves. But a good part of the southwest is having its own private little party and that is where alot of the Pentagon 'misplaces' its larger sums of money it seems from what I experienced.

And this is the guy you are going to elect president just becuz he does some time as governor of an east coast status state? Becuz he's from MI and not Utah?

Senior Bush and Nancy Reagan are sponsoring Romney. Nancy Reagan was taken out of her suspension chamber to be seen in pics taken recently of Romney. Shaking his hand and all that. She's been quiet as a mouse throughout lately hasnt she?

These people are really crazy and very dangerous. We could afford Reagan type insanity in the 80's becuz we had some pull still and liberties. The wool had  only been just placed over the eyes and not begun to be pulled down as yet. Well the wool is firmly over the eyes now and the country is as good as a detainee at Gitmo.
Youve sat in the hotseat. Youve been beaten down, tormented, mind f*cked, humiliated and now you are just happy to have an iPod a job and government subsidized HD tv if not satellite. You live to not see or speak of the truth becuz youve been trained over time to accept (through fear and intimidation and torture) that anyone who is against whatever America wants to do is a terrorist becuz telling any truths inadvertently serves the other side or The Enemy. Once you allow your Will to be broken its kind of like accepting the Perp's offer to work for them to make your own being Gang Stalked stop or agreeing to be an informant for the feds when you really didnt deserve to be harassed by them in the first place: from then on in their exploitation of you will never cease.  They will use you until you are of no further use. THIS IS WHAT THEY DO. They do it to world leaders, powerful and nobodies alike.

Look what they did to me. I was expendable. But these are the same f*cks who say "we got ten good years out of the Shah (of Iran)" as if humans only exist to serve thier needs in thier NEVER ENDING GAMES  in international affairs which means tweeking domestic affairs.

The American public are now fully asleep just as the powers that be wanted it.

Today at MIT was an Alumni reunion. I could feel the difference in the environment just by having people my age and older people around. THIS YOUNGER GENERATION ARE UNDER TOTAL MIND CONTROL and the in thier world they dont know any different.

It seems they are just tolerating those of us born before the take over so they can have a total mind controlled society at thier behest.

If YOU want to live with Romney as president or four more years of the sneaky racist AfroCentric tool of power, whos only revenge is his spiteful racist agenda, who holds a position that in normal reality, not down the rabbit hole, a black person of actual African AMERICAN descent would be president not a person with an African father and an Caucasian American mother!

Being that so many African Americans choose to sell out to being in on gang stalking for whatever thier reasons its been a horrible beat down for me personally. I think I endured enough of a beat down during bussing in the 70's from blacks. I shouldnt have had to go through it again and again. Note how the whiners WORK FOR THE POWERFUL ELITE WHO ACTUALLY OWNED SLAVES but will gladly savour thier assignments to destroy and harass a person who's family only came over here 100 years ago as house servants.

This country is full of more shit than it ever has been in history. And its become intolerable. It is the worst place on the face of the earth and I dont want anything more to do with it. Whoever wins the presidency in 2012 is not someone I want to live with as a leader.

The things that happened to me arent worth fighting for. They arent worth rectifying. Its better to rat on everyone, go overseas and til my dying day simply tell everyone I encounter that America died a long time ago and it is indeed a horrible, evil place that is totally Satanic in nature but is more sick than anything overtly Satanic due to it being sneaky about it and hiding behind Jude-Christianity. 

The country is worthless. Whatever good people Ive met here can never make up for the home I have lost or the life I have been denied. No court of law can ever bring those things back. Its pointless to call lawyers other than perhaps to ensure they dont try to set me up or frame me after I leave for good and try to get citizenship elsewhere. 

It wont be hard to be a Traveler out of the USA. And if it ever becomes illegal or difficult I will simply point to my story about what happened and some actual truly human rights country will let me in.

Maybe the whole world hates me, wont take me in and doesnt want to deal with me. Maybe Generation NoWhere, these total paranoid, mistrustful uptight zombies walking around our planet in thier 20s will, internationally reject me and hate me. Probably becuz due to my not being covertly microchipped thier collective hive mind gives signal to reject me, lol.

There is somewhere on earth that actually likes me work. There are others like me. Just now here, in Wonderland, where everyone is now behaving like they are totally insane but think they are fairly normal.  People living in denial in a very f*cked up situation have life long made me miserable. For some reason such people have always been in a power position to make me, always the whistleblower, suffer and keep me down.

I am abandoning the USA. I am not going to grace thier courtrooms with myself suing anyone. The justice system screwed me over years ago and chose to side with the rich kids and the system. Why sue when the judge is going to be in on it? Why sue when the judge is going to be afraid to be targeted?  When he or she is going to take special pleasure in making a mockery of my case?

Ive been a victim of America's especially elitist Boston's arrogance all my life. I want nothing more to do with this place or its people. I notice that in a few places I get good reception like parts of TX where people still have thier wits about them.  But I also meet alot of YUPpie scum who now invade the cities and occupy them. Everywhere there's mind control through tech and chemicals that you cant get away from.

Why stay? Why sue? Why? So the public can get more free entertainment from me? Ive been producing a workload under duress for free while living on the streets for years. I do believe that this god forsaken piece of shit society has gotten me down long enough. Fuck America and screw the public.

Anywhere else would be preferable to this. If any Americans have the sense to read my books then they can show they are sensible and LEAVE this place. The entire northeast is just useless unless you are rich now.  Why would I live somewhere that I am to be designated only to specific areas? I am supposed to hide out in my own country? Fuck all this. I am going back to my ancestral homelands and to people who have a system to get away from Abrahamic religions from those damn Middle Eastern foreign invaders.

I want to go home. And America has never showed me anything other than contempt all my life and done nothing but exploit me. I hate this place and it hates me and I want to leave.  America thinks I am thier slave. I know there is someplace that knows what and who I really am.