“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Yet Another Reason The US Isnt Suited To Me-Obsession With Nuclear Family And Marriage As Status And Image

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2032116,00.html


"This article makes it clear: North Americans are obsessed with the nuclear family as the foundation of civilization."


Unlike other cultures like Mexican or Italian where Ive experienced family to be a GENUINE concern or way of life Americans seem to be concerned with family as image, for security, economic gain.   Theres something puritanical about their concern for family. Almost with a taste of melodrama. 


I believe that's becuz they sense somehow that they dont have the genuine true dedication that say a Mex or Italian culture does.


Lets put it this way: the cultures I just mentioned seem to deal with family in daily life with joy and as if it comes very naturally.


Atypical Americans seem either concerned with family as an extension of being Capitalist-an isolated unit that owns their own property etc without a greater sense of connectedness to humanity-outside of their immediate environment or work related etc.  Though often these types seem content with their families as central to their lives.


Other types I run into frequently are people who live their lives anchored to family with a begrudged sense of duty or as if thats  just what one does in life that comes across as downright depressing to me.


Often in American culture family life is a way of getting out of self improvement or evolution. It holds the individual back and people seem to use this as a way of staying stagnant....for what reasons I dont know. Only they know.


Also women becoming mothers is revered and rewarded way too much in the US as opposed to quality of life-once again.


Women use motherhood to avoid the scorn and rule of the patriarchy-who of course have built a culture where its rewarded heavily.


Conversely in much of this culture women are ostracized for being stay at home moms to actually provide that quality of life I just spoke about.


America is a very self abusive culture, with lots of abuse coming from the comsumerist driven media also, that condtions people to actually avoid what is genuinely good for them, in smaller amounts and doses, most likely so Americans will seek to compensate with larger consumption.


The obsession with children, holidays and Disney are all examples of this.


Whereas the Mexican culture has a joey de vive whilst living in poverty-and will also give to others they come into contact with, with a sense of extended family. Though they often are most concerned with other Mexicans this  is forgivable due to.their openess to people who arent necessarily immediate family or they identify as living the same lifestyle as they do.


I hate to say it but marriage and chldren sicken me-unless its done right with enough resources and by people who have a strong sense of individuals self.


I guess my urges are more towards creating a Family like an Italian would or founding a town or city...or other collective.  Something much bigger...that isnt so stingy and myopic.


Marriage is kind of used by people here wrongly in a smug way to believe themselves of a higher value in humanity.  Its also the stuff of high school conformity.