I looked up America-is-evil and of course lots of pages no one really cares about as nothing stands up to to the shined up propaganda the Machine spits out in this country attached to the sophisticated brain washing nowadays. No one escapes the psychological prison and cult that has been created in the USA. I have traveled around the US and everywhere simply sucks compared to pre-Bush. And now we have a generation of weird kids who now define reality as America is youth obsessed and they dont even know how totally controlled they are. They dont even see that social networking sites are training and monitoring programs. A dropped out history professor turned courier told me a few years ago that the main point of all of this is to destroy anything from the 60's. To get rid of any and all true opposition to authority, and the system has succeeded.
What irks me is people saying America is evil due to its 'rejecting god and partaking of every form of wickedness'. What?! The reason America is evil is due to its large role in the current campaign to ENSLAVE ALL OF MANKIND, not partying down. If that were true then the 70's I recall as a toddler must have been the pit of hell, which in many ways it was. But people had a good time and people were more connected..while being dis-connected due to being severely unhappy.
Nowadays its opposite- people seem very connected but those connections are superficial and tech driven. People are no longer solid. In other words, the whole world has turned into California. If you travel you know what I am talking about.
People are afraid to be themselves, to exist in a solid reality. Passion, romanticism and genuine extremism, not faked for shock value is extremely unpopular and if these things are part of your personality you are now either perceived as a terrorist or a having an unmedicated mental 'disorder'.
You have an entire two or three generations of people under say, my Gen X, who define themselves according to a pop culture-think that trickles down from psychiatry and big pharma. The old drug sub-culture has been replaced by the big-pharma-psych drug culture. I have learned by living through the 70's to the 21 century that Americans dont want to get better, improve themselves, get healthy or thier God forbid- actually deal with the human, emotional and spiritual reasons why people are unhappy enough to take drugs to begin with..Americans just want to be medicated. That is the only conclusion one can come up with. In Cali the govt now gives anyone a med marijuana card and sells them thier pot. In the northeast everyone is on psych meds the way everyone used to be stoned or on drugs for decades. There is something very suspect about the US govt producing pot. Like it doesnt possibly have mind control properties like psych drugs do. The marijuana in the US or at least the northeast has not been kosher since the early 90's.
If you look at this country you will see that the main problem is mind control of the masses. Its always been that way in the US. Many movies and other content having to do with exposing mind control tactics were actually banned in the US for years. America has always been somewhat of a prison in one way or another but its very overt now. The reason no one does anything about it is becuz that mind control has taken such an affect now that people cant do anything. Either that or they totally agree with the agenda and stand by it by willful participation or inaction and silence. You also have an entire generation raised in such a controlled society that they dont know any different. The new model prisoners.
America is not evil due to wickedness that might have been considered rebellious or fun years ago. That was dabbling. That was controlled 'evil', personal 'evil'. One could decide for oneself really.
No, this is the real thing. This is the kind of evil that comes down on humanity that is of a very serious nature. Its not drugs, drinking, sex or violence. Those things used to be fun actually or can be. The 'evil' present now is most creepy due to it being whitewashed and believed to be 'good'. Now THAT is truly evil, due to its being the height of deception and slavery. When a nation of people are now afraid to not partake in views or actions internationally or personally even socially that they feel aren't right due to consequences from a network of spies and a brainwashing system of shaming and other mind games that is not a free society. THAT is the 'evil' that most people are dreading right now in the US. The population is being enslaved. Things are being taken away from people left and right and this includes quality of products including the arts and entertainments. Its the enslavement of people that is evil. People have been trained to consume mindlessly more than ever before and taste or class has been replaced by a snobbery concerning dollar amounts of monetary gain or holdings or how much technology one can afford to purchase.
Boredom is the evil in the US now. And I don't know where this view of the country partaking of every form of wickedness is coming from. The problem is with a nation of people who are full of self help and recovery cultism, have become more sober and conservative as well as watched by cameras all the time, a total spy society of judgment and shaming as well as basically what amounts to full time harassment by security and law enforcement to herd the sheep into certain behaviors and mind sets-yet these same uptight people are partaking of cruel reality shows, spying, mobbing and voyeurism into ruining people's lives as entertainment. That sounds more like extreme morality being used as an excuse or cover for acts of evil, selfishness and being destructive. The problem with the US now is a culture of people who refuse to partake in self destruction but willfully partake in the destruction of others as long as its people they do not have to deal with directly and there are no consequences.
That along with how oppressive authority is nowadays makes for a no fun place to exist. I wouldnt call residing in America 'living' in this day and age. Many factions of people are being denied the right to exist, and life, liberty, pursuit of happiness all of that. Cities are being gentrified and YUPpy occupied or are purposefully ruined and handed over the ghetto populations to control people that are not already controlled by ghettos. Everything is being geared to control of people...not improved conditions.
THAT is EVIL, becuz that is enslavement. Either conform or die. THAT is the largest complaint about this country nowadays, not wickedness. It seems that only people who conform to a controlled social group get to partake in 'wickedness' that might be anything remotely resembling 'fun' years ago. Anyone else will be targeted and wiped out of existence.
That is becuz the US military now runs the USA. Also, believe it or not, Bush's connections to Nazism has come to pass. The way of the WASP as defined by Bush's speech writer in the book of that same title, is actually the way of the Nazi. Bush, his son and Obama all mentioning a New World Order is very close to the 'new order' spoke about by Hitler himself in his public speeches.
People dont believe this due to the fact that Nazis themselves have been so beefed up as closer to science fiction or anti christs of biblical proportions that they seem fantastical now, like Elvis or Jesus. This may have been done on purpose as it puts a disbelief on any actual truth about its presence in the 21st century.
The other reason is that the Jews are not making a stink about any of this and everyone is so used to they having the biggest issue with Nazism. Even though Polish non Jews and other peoples such as Romani (gypsies) suffered genocide as well, the Jews use their Hollywood talents to focus the attention soley on they as the Nazis only victims during thier campaigns. This may well be a part of the smoke screen ultimately. One notices that America as well as Bush have no problem continuing to fund Israel and ally our country with them and thier interests.
This is where one has to make a leap to the idea of something larger than what appears to be on the surface. I believe that Jews are not above utilizing any and all material no matter what its original source as long as it secures their interests and security. Also 'the Jews' is a pretty generalized and broad statement.
There are Jews that dont even realize that this is occurring. One has to realize that Jews are not so much innately evil as they are a very mind controlled population. Church and state are not separated. I was told by Israelis that they dont believe in Darwinism but creationism. They dont teach the same material in schools that America or Europe does. Its a culture shrouded in still much mystery to non Jews yet it controls and dictates alot of power internationally and especially in the US.
This leaves open to speculation just what this population is capable of to get its goals met. I am often not happy with much of what Jews do to get their way in this world but I am fair enough to realize that its no different from any other cultures hustle or game to get its ends met as well.
The issue is that most people associate Jews with Nazis so if they are not making issue of such a subject then people wonder how legit those claims really are.
People have to remember that much of this occurs covertly on the international scene so its not going to be dealt with directly. One also has to be shrewd enough to realize that psychiatry and other professions are heavily Jew dominated. It stands to reason that people are not going to mess with money making professions for something as insignificant as morality or ethics when stakes are high.
Also the bottom line is that these are classified or 'secret' projects. They are still treated this way and operated this way. Not so much due to the claims of 'in the interest of national security' as is often the rationale but due to the extreme human and civil rights infractions as well as breaking laws under the Geneva Convention internationally. All along the way these projects must be handled delicately due to they being basically illegal. The outrage as well as the amount of money due its victims would be so large that it might just permanently corrupt far too many professions and people involved to be worth dealing with fairly.
The old attitude is applied that few suffered for the greater good of many, and no matter what the on paper legal rules are, if these actions are not recognized as crimes or recognized as reality at all, no one has to be prosecuted or brought up on proper charges. Multiple professionals as well as institutions would be ruined if the public were informed of what has and is still occurring.
Also the public at least in America, thier perceptions of the world around them has been reduced so they now do not perceive outer space or large corporations as part of thier reality. This was done after the obvious presence of corporate power and foreign buying off of the US during the 80's. During Bush and the war the public's focus has been re assigned to other things that have totally diverted thier attention from the amount of power over thier lives that corporations have. The true power structure is now hidden from them.
Corporations could easily take the results from any such project or it could have been sold to them or its been outsourced by various govt agencies to corporations or contractors thus cutting any obvious ties with the govt. Under these circumstances such projects or experimentation could continue and more than ever before, the public would be shielded from the knowledge of such things taking place.
This is why perhaps it was so important to 'get rid of anything from the 60's' mindset mentioned by that professor. Such things as exposing corruption, demanding accountability or being aware of such conditions has been phased out of the American mind set. Terrorism and being on guard against enemies foreign, domestic and cyber has replaced focus on corrupt authority.
Thus Americans if not much of the world is now controlled, dominated is a better word even...DOMINATED by massive power structures with large amounts of funds and access that are basically 'invisible' to the average citizen.
One only has to look at the fact there is a space station with scientists actually living on it, or money for endless military gadgets and still there are homeless people and any kind of lacking in the US of its people in any way- one just looks at those circumstances to understand how far this has gone.
The situation has gone so far that people are blocking out the truth in order to deal with the extreme trauma of the whole situation. Along with this reality coming into being, the public were systematically dumbed down, mind controlled and terrorized or intimidated into being compliant with the afore mentioned changes to society's structures.
Human beings are now, on a global scale, effectively enslaved.
THIS is the 'evil' most people have a problem with or sense something is off and they do not like it.
This isnt just wickedness. The problem is the lack of humanity that people seem to have. An entire young generation seems to perceive thier work ethic as simply playing the game and 'fooling people' or deceiving them, as "everyone else is doing it". There is a level of deception that has been internalized and that is definitively 'evil'. Its also a symptom of living in a controlled spy culture resembling former East Germany or the USSR..neither of which youngsters are old enough to recall or understand.
Like Hitler's philosophy the sentiment seems to be to get them while thier young. Hitler and all organized religions that is and that is exactly what the system has done.
Its also laughable that the legit CIA website predicts such things like white middle class becoming militant in near future due to the changes in society, while those very changes are brought on by covert warfare, spy craft, intense and sophisticated psychological warfare, chemical warfare (that includes psych meds for non conformists or various 'disorders') and the use of technologies to control human behaviors.
What chance does an ignorant unarmed public have against such a program? Letting us keep our guns of course is part of the deception. Guns are useless against covert warfare or mind control mass or individual. In fact, gun ownership or use in self defense in such an environment will most likely be used against the gun owners themselves. Harassing an individual Targeted person into 'snapping' and taking overt action in response to covert action is a perfect example. When this occurs it only serves to frighten the public and justify the need for strict security or control by authority.
We live now in a very extreme system of total control that constantly cycles problem creation with problem solving and uses this to built a constant prison around the public.
What is most frightening is the idea that one man's anti-Americanism is another man's 'world waking up'. This may be true that people are not protected from the true way the world works as before the information age but this cannot possibly be the case due to mind control tactics, systems and technologies being utilized to control said public. What that indicates is that when waking up said world, the controllers and authority are waking them up according to the way they want them to take in this new reality- as slaves who know thier place. If people were allowed to 'wake up' to the hard reality of the way the world works outside of thier little realities without interference or influence from authorities, I believe that humanity's reactions to this event would be quite different. You cant be fair if you are going to introduce humanity to harsh reality by enslaving them in the process. That is introducing them to world domination and total enslavement of mankind not 'reality'. That is a specific reality, tailored by those who wish it to be so.
Take away the systems of mind control over the populace that are so severe now and show them the 'reality' of the world, then we shall see a very different sort of awakening I guarantee it.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Truman Show Syndrome as part of tech management/ more on differing effects by location
Please dont send anymore comments for a day or two. Just until I catch up on the 39 that have been piled up for a week now. Unless its something really compelling like that billboard actually talking about being targeted then of course sent it.
The 'Truman Show Syndrome' is very very bad in this area and it really keeps me from getting much done or even feeling sane. Of course this state of mind only occurs when I am alone and it stops around 12 midnight (as usual). Its really really heavy handed. I just cannot think clearly nor fight it. It keeps my mind busy constantly. I notice that this is more the tactic in Cambridge/Somerville area. Once I cross over the bridge over the Charles River into Boston I immediately feel the change- I then have full access to the reality of what has happened to me. I am much more in charge of my mental faculties. However Boston is a place where
that then over many hours turns into emotional torture over pain and sorrow about what has happened and its obvoius at that point its used to create aggression, rage or sorrow so compelling as to help induce suicide.
This is especially bad in the Kenmore Sq/Berkelee College area. Kenmore Sq especially since they redid the area has been especially nasty. But strangely it is also a place where I always got this feeling that I could write my whole book right there. And there is still something there that encourages me to write it. Perhaps its the energy in that area I dont know. I do know that some of the worst abuses by what has to be tech have taken place in the Kenmore Sq/Fenway area during Bush as well as up into Allston area. Kenmore Sq is where I experienced being paralyzed and then experienced sexual arousal so realistic that my vulva expanded while paralyzed, while hearing the ideation repeatedly that "men run the world" and an ideation for me to not forget that. (by the way I am still fighting so you can still go F*CK YOURSELVES. I will find a way to make you pay for that dearly. I dont know how yet but I will. It would be nice to know if it was military, military contractors playing games or the feds or cops. I would love to find out who was behind that obnoxious bullshit. That and the severe sexist crap in St Loius. Its also a place where perps have been VERY overt. Everyone from that black scum who is behind that front the handicapped kids school, so who would mess with that right? I will. Becuz I know a good front when I see one nice try though. Save The Children has a good front too-didnt save that old bastard from getting caught for fraud now did it? Yer day in the sun is almost at its peak. Then yer gonna pay like everyone else and the restitution for slavery bs is just about over. Youve had yer chance to make money like every other scumbag organized crime organization, you play ball with the feds now and do thier dirty work, you keep dictators back in the old country sweet with funds and you got a guy in the white house..hows it feel? Yeah, every downtrodden culture gets their shot at making it. But then you have to be responsible for being fascist and oppressive like everyone else. Cant hide behind victimhood while perpetrating crimes forever..not unless you still want to be houseslaves forever. And the only people good enough at getting away with murder by constantly pointing out thier own people being murdered are the Jews and Israel and they have thousands of years on you darlings, or on any Europeans for that matter..oh except Romans that is, which is why I see through all this crap for what it is and refuse to be PC about any of it. You want power then you have to take responsiblity for your actions and become known as an oppressor. And sooner or later the world is going to find out that blacks are up to all this covert activity, are hardly as stupid and helpless as they act and wont be able to hide behind victimhood any longer. Wait a minute! Is THAT why the ghettos are never cured and healed. So you always have a front! Very good, brilliant. Who is going to believe a story like mine? Well, at least a few victim witnesses from COINTELPRO era, if you havent exiled them all to Africa yet, who recall a large number of 'brothers' and 'sisters' that were none too Kosher, yes? Pity white America has no f*cking idea you ever existed. Imagine if they realized that you exclusively pretty much run the black show now. Just imagine...Imagine if the public knew of the infiltration, take over and destruction of the original dream of true equality and brotherhood. Anyway Kenmore was very nasty. For all kinds of harassment and torture. Especially ambulance drivers for some reason. Overt tactics as well and as I mentioned tech. I am sure I posted it
And this occurs in the same locations the same way every single time according to geography. Not timing, geography.
What do I know? For all I know, the COINTELPRO types were the ones watching out for me while the gang types seemed to be into harassing me. I know one thing. That culture has the most dangerous concentration of covert activity in the nation. No average American would ever guess such things were possible or even in existence.)
I know this all sounds like insanity but recall that is what the therapist said to one of the people on the president's 'committee'. 'I know this sounds unbelievable'..yes it certainly does. However, considering my mother is a documented survivor of radiation experimentation connected to MK Ultra as well as it occured in the Naval Hospital in Bethesda Maryland where so much MK Ultra horrors occured, one can see just how that statement made in 95 applies today.
But now its a corporate agenda and experimenteees have no rights under the oppression of private enterprise and hell, they need human experimentees- either that or they need to silence the original victim witneses and thier families so that provides contracts to outsourcing 'security companies'.
No one seems to care anything about this. And the system in every situation seems to get its way with everything from dissidents to war crimes. Isnt there a time when justice gets way instead of thier constant covert activities, interference and re arranging of reality? I find it hard to believe they win every single time.
The 'Truman Show Syndrome' is very very bad in this area and it really keeps me from getting much done or even feeling sane. Of course this state of mind only occurs when I am alone and it stops around 12 midnight (as usual). Its really really heavy handed. I just cannot think clearly nor fight it. It keeps my mind busy constantly. I notice that this is more the tactic in Cambridge/Somerville area. Once I cross over the bridge over the Charles River into Boston I immediately feel the change- I then have full access to the reality of what has happened to me. I am much more in charge of my mental faculties. However Boston is a place where
that then over many hours turns into emotional torture over pain and sorrow about what has happened and its obvoius at that point its used to create aggression, rage or sorrow so compelling as to help induce suicide.
This is especially bad in the Kenmore Sq/Berkelee College area. Kenmore Sq especially since they redid the area has been especially nasty. But strangely it is also a place where I always got this feeling that I could write my whole book right there. And there is still something there that encourages me to write it. Perhaps its the energy in that area I dont know. I do know that some of the worst abuses by what has to be tech have taken place in the Kenmore Sq/Fenway area during Bush as well as up into Allston area. Kenmore Sq is where I experienced being paralyzed and then experienced sexual arousal so realistic that my vulva expanded while paralyzed, while hearing the ideation repeatedly that "men run the world" and an ideation for me to not forget that. (by the way I am still fighting so you can still go F*CK YOURSELVES. I will find a way to make you pay for that dearly. I dont know how yet but I will. It would be nice to know if it was military, military contractors playing games or the feds or cops. I would love to find out who was behind that obnoxious bullshit. That and the severe sexist crap in St Loius. Its also a place where perps have been VERY overt. Everyone from that black scum who is behind that front the handicapped kids school, so who would mess with that right? I will. Becuz I know a good front when I see one nice try though. Save The Children has a good front too-didnt save that old bastard from getting caught for fraud now did it? Yer day in the sun is almost at its peak. Then yer gonna pay like everyone else and the restitution for slavery bs is just about over. Youve had yer chance to make money like every other scumbag organized crime organization, you play ball with the feds now and do thier dirty work, you keep dictators back in the old country sweet with funds and you got a guy in the white house..hows it feel? Yeah, every downtrodden culture gets their shot at making it. But then you have to be responsible for being fascist and oppressive like everyone else. Cant hide behind victimhood while perpetrating crimes forever..not unless you still want to be houseslaves forever. And the only people good enough at getting away with murder by constantly pointing out thier own people being murdered are the Jews and Israel and they have thousands of years on you darlings, or on any Europeans for that matter..oh except Romans that is, which is why I see through all this crap for what it is and refuse to be PC about any of it. You want power then you have to take responsiblity for your actions and become known as an oppressor. And sooner or later the world is going to find out that blacks are up to all this covert activity, are hardly as stupid and helpless as they act and wont be able to hide behind victimhood any longer. Wait a minute! Is THAT why the ghettos are never cured and healed. So you always have a front! Very good, brilliant. Who is going to believe a story like mine? Well, at least a few victim witnesses from COINTELPRO era, if you havent exiled them all to Africa yet, who recall a large number of 'brothers' and 'sisters' that were none too Kosher, yes? Pity white America has no f*cking idea you ever existed. Imagine if they realized that you exclusively pretty much run the black show now. Just imagine...Imagine if the public knew of the infiltration, take over and destruction of the original dream of true equality and brotherhood. Anyway Kenmore was very nasty. For all kinds of harassment and torture. Especially ambulance drivers for some reason. Overt tactics as well and as I mentioned tech. I am sure I posted it
And this occurs in the same locations the same way every single time according to geography. Not timing, geography.
What do I know? For all I know, the COINTELPRO types were the ones watching out for me while the gang types seemed to be into harassing me. I know one thing. That culture has the most dangerous concentration of covert activity in the nation. No average American would ever guess such things were possible or even in existence.)
I know this all sounds like insanity but recall that is what the therapist said to one of the people on the president's 'committee'. 'I know this sounds unbelievable'..yes it certainly does. However, considering my mother is a documented survivor of radiation experimentation connected to MK Ultra as well as it occured in the Naval Hospital in Bethesda Maryland where so much MK Ultra horrors occured, one can see just how that statement made in 95 applies today.
But now its a corporate agenda and experimenteees have no rights under the oppression of private enterprise and hell, they need human experimentees- either that or they need to silence the original victim witneses and thier families so that provides contracts to outsourcing 'security companies'.
No one seems to care anything about this. And the system in every situation seems to get its way with everything from dissidents to war crimes. Isnt there a time when justice gets way instead of thier constant covert activities, interference and re arranging of reality? I find it hard to believe they win every single time.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Tired of docs in denial/ the nwo playset for kids off all ages who refuse to grow up
Went to ER due to not being able to get anything done including doctor, still sick with cold. I have gotten caught in a cycle of it getting worse due to cold outside at night. I just needed some things refilled, cant take any pills due to allergic reactions another condition now which no one probably wants to believe. Only docs familiar with allergy and other related subjects understand how what happened to me with all the prior conditions like mycotoxicosis makes having such severe allergies after anaphylactic shock is possible.
I tried a new inhaler and I am very leary of anything new from food to meds becuz my allergic reactions are so sensitive that one off ingredient causes reaction. A bag of damn chips vinegar and salt the other day in Au Bon Pain started a reaction. There was nothing listed in the ingredients that should have caused that to occur. I have even had reactions from traveling through certain areas in truck rides across the US since Dec. The only thing that made sense was hay rolls in the mid West. But sometimes you just cant tell what it is.
The other day it was actually something in Au Bon Pain and I couldnt breath and started to have reaction symptoms so had to leave and go write someplace else. I do not imagine having to live on Benedryl to prevent full blown reactions nor do I imagine having to take extra Benedryl (and breaking the tabs to get the poweder into my mouth directly which seems to sqelch the reactions faster) when I have a reaction. Or having to brush my teeth if it was something in food, which surprisingly works pretty quickly. That is how dangerous this is. That Bactrim really f*cked me up bad.
I told that doctor in AZ that I had a history of heavy mold exposure that basically altered the way my body processes many things but especially mold based medicines like anti biotics. I would feel 'mold sick' again if I had to take antibiotics. I also had to live on anti fungals until of course now I dont dare take anything which is why many of my mold sickness symptoms have returned like bad days when it rains etc around a place with old buildings etc like Boston area. That along with me having liver disease for many years should have put her off of giving me some Sulfa drug that is notoriously contraversial to begin with. Its not just the skin eating reaciton that long term Bacrim patients get that is dangeruos. Many people have had the same reaction I have had to this drug. It should be handled with alot more care than it currently is.
Its interesting that when yer in pain, you cant get drugs for it if you are female, a former addict etc as a sort of 'profiling' doctors do. And in my case, the slander to try to frame me to make it look like Jake didnt get his own pain killers to sell and I had something to do with it, has made it impossible for me over the years to get painkillers if I needed them for a legit reason.
But yet a drug that has now put my life in even more danger health wise is given to me quite easily and now look at the results.
When people read my expose they are going to have to look at what they have done. The only thing this country can do and the large amount of people who have assisted crooked cops and other corrupt factions in destroying my life is to ignore me now they screwd up so badly, write me of as someone who doesnt matter if I am mistreated anyway or not belive my story as then they would have to take responsiblity for thier actions.
Wait until you read about the amount of abuse, and mistreatment that is totally illegal as well and people feel they are validated !! The people of this country believe that!! This is totally a country under mind control if I ever saw one. Its disgusting. How easily they are manipulated into beliving what the system wants them to believe. Now I know why there are factions in this world that other people find evil that have given me support and possibly assisted in saving my life: people cannot be trusted. Its just as Machievelli said- The hearts of men are black. I have a bit of sympathy for the genuine good people in what is going on to the country and our world but many people hurt me very badly and made my health and my situation even worse without realzing what they were doing is basically assisting in a campaign of psychological warfare and torture. They are THAT a stupid and easily manipulated. This country will believe anything. And look how hard people fought during Bush, just like the Brits did today. Nothing changed it didnt stop any of that mess from happening. So the sheep sense that there is a power in control who's ultimate WILL cannot be bent, so like good lemmings they go along with whatever agenda that power dictates regardless of law or what innocents get hurt.
I took one inhalation of the inhaler they had here which was different from what I use. Doc said it was the same drug so it didnt matter. I said are you sure its exactly the same. She responded with "I know yer not going to believe me if I tell you its the same". What is that supposed to mean? That is very illogical and intimates some defect of character or thinking on my part not that I am dealing with very sensitive allergies since anaphylaxis which she had seemed to understand.
Sure enough I had a throat closing reaction but not the weight on the chest and heart feeling that often accompanies it in more severe reactions. I took more Benedryl and afterwards it subsided, in waves or cycles as has been my common experience throughout. Actually that is how the reaction responded upon the original full blown anaphylaxis, it came and went until it was settled. So that shows it was genuine as well as it resembles the orginal event.
I told her about it on the way out and she said "Well it shouldnt its the same medication". And then I got those looks that she tried to make sure I didnt see. I am so tired of dealing with this new generation of assholes in medicine. I like the old white haired guys, they seem like craftsmen and they seem honest with you..many of them anyway not all. Some Harvard physics professor who has been socializing with the Harvard Sq kids when he's drunk lately told me that his generation is all about fooling and deceiving everyone, as in thier perception "everyone is doing it". We discussed growing up cyber and being more anti social in the physical realm as opposed to cyber world. Finally I felt I was talking to someone on my level...but also with these educated types, something about being locked into a system of discipline from acedamia leaves something lacking in them, something yearning to go outside the lines but not daring to do so. Something doubting, which I never want to have in me. He was only 25 and so this is normal when one is young also. Funny how we want to live and value life when we get closer to its ending with age.
I am so sick of that look from people like her. That stupid denial. I had a surgeon who dealt with my endo and gyn stuff who used to do the same sh*t and it was just as ridiculous: "My scars hurt from my old surgeries". Doc: "Well, they shouldnt". Me: "but they do, isnt there anything like another surgery or another treatment? Physical therapy something?". Doc: "If we open you up again its more adhesions and damage. They shouldnt be bothering you." Me:" but they do". Doc: "But they shoudlnt".. and on and on like a f*cking tennis match. This is the same guy who wanted to still in this day and age try to push reverse menstruation as the cause of endometriosis when its well known its an auto immune disease and obviously connected to radiation exposure due to my mother and I being the only ones that have it. Its very possible anyway. But I am not suppose to be smart enough to know that to these f*cks.
These people have a multi million dollar a years industry and you can see that they avoid certain areas like the plague to keep it that way or not offend anyone like anything to do with human experimentation, academia etc.
Its not the exact same medicine is it? One says made in Ireland and the other says made in England. The one made in Ireland lists its other ingredients for delivery of the albuterol, the new one from England I was given does NOT. This may mean some difference also a different facility, manufaturing plant. I dont know what variations make me have reaction but this is not THE EXACT same medication. And she has years of college to know what the process should be to deduct that as well.
The least people like her could do is be sympathetic and calm the patient and say that its possible some difference in manufacturing is to blame and just go get it filled somewhere by the company you normally use. That would be the sane and civil thing to do. But like I pointed out earlier our world isnt about sanity anymore. Its like Satans generation has arrived straight from the Gates that Bush opened up during he and his bastard administration. They believe in decieving people as the norm. Hmmmm. Doesnt sound too good does it. The problem is that people are getting into medicine that dont belong there. Its no longer craft its a corporate industry and that makes the EMPLOYEES very different from craft. Also she works in a hospital that services alot of poor as well as rich and I am sure that accounts for her attitude as well. The War on the Poor has very subtle parts to it and this is one of them I have noted in the last 20 years. Just blow off people's concerns dont address them. Toughen people up so they dont expect as much. Which is a way of managing a population you are exploiting.
She also refered to my traveling and sleeping outside as 'so cool' when she should damn well have the training and being a woman as well to know something could be behind this lifestyle that meets the eye. She should at least have taken the way I live into consideration as being rough and factored into it the allergy condition which makes it alot more stressful.But no, its easier to act like I am merely happy go lucky. Its business you know, a big big corporate business and no one has time for details and there is always the next meatbag around the corner to deal with.
Granted its an ER and she must deal with much more severe things than this so perhaps its her nature to be more focused on more serious conditions that patients might be in.
There comes a point where you see so much shit trying to be an activist with subject matter no one wants to deal with and you get so victimized that you just KNOW after a while that no matter what attitude people put up to block you, you are right. There is no denial you cannot break through at this stage. Yer so half dead and robbed of life that you cannot afford to care what ignorant people think.
I recall when my mother started out trying to do activism for the radiation human experimentation she didnt really know how to do it yet and out of desperation (and probably living with being targeted and not being conshus of it) she wrote this pathetic hand written letter and made me take it into a doctor when I saw them for something, I forget perhaps endo related. It basically said something about her being a human experimentee but it was strange that with her obsession for perfect professional letter writing that she would have given me such a piece of shit like that to present. Its part of her abusive nature to humiliate people so I think subconsciously she was doing just that. Shes much more 'satanic' in her nature than I ever was.
The two young doctors read it together and just laughed at it. I knew that in order to beat a power structure you had to come at them on a level either they respected as familiar to the world they come from or from some other place that they couldnt reach, like for instance just not dealing with peon newly grad residents and going to much more experienced docs who are aware of issues like human experimentation, experts from other countries that are aware of the US's very nasty habits. The worst people in the world to look to for responsiblity are middle management which these guys at this level in a scam this big are just drones in the damn hive. There is some exotic doc somewhere, some scientist from someplace like Vienna or Switzerland or India, where such things are accepted due to spiritual outlook or a more sophisticated outlook. America, especially with how many middle class to upper middle little f*cks get into medicine, and especially to impress their parents or do what they want them to do- there is no way you are dealing with people who are going to comprehend what you are doing nor do they matter as going up against the US govt and military and CIA and other bastard factions of murderous, political and greedy a-holes, one would need an authority so heavy, that it crushes them just a bit so they know that its equal in weight to thier power and authority. If those little shills were worth anything as activists, they wouldnt be employed in corporate hospital A or B so easily.
They come off an assembly line and there is nothing unique about them. Average Americans that lower class Americans are supposed to bow before in this totally bullshit class system in the US. The idea that a doc or lawyer or a professional of any kind has some sort of edge over someone who talented or highly intelligent is its worst mistake, which is where they get dissidents like me. Think Euro like yer Ancestors and America is the falsely created fantasy it is. The missing capstone on the pyramid IS the loss of ancient wisdom.
And dont you worry these bastards have plenty of bullshit to replace it so that you'll have all kinds of lies, misconceptions and manufactured gods to worship in place of what yer ancestors knew and held dear.
Welcome to the USA. It did NOT have to be this way. The true terrorists are from within and they have been at this since WWII if not before, rotting America from the inside.
America did not have to become destroyed as it is now.
It will be interesting to see what new form and shape the bastards are going to end up with when they finish playing with thier NWO playset..then of course get bored like boys always do and have some more wars or settle Mars and then start a war with earth or some sh*t. But they WILL get bored and be compelled to build something new again. Amusing isnt it?
I tried a new inhaler and I am very leary of anything new from food to meds becuz my allergic reactions are so sensitive that one off ingredient causes reaction. A bag of damn chips vinegar and salt the other day in Au Bon Pain started a reaction. There was nothing listed in the ingredients that should have caused that to occur. I have even had reactions from traveling through certain areas in truck rides across the US since Dec. The only thing that made sense was hay rolls in the mid West. But sometimes you just cant tell what it is.
The other day it was actually something in Au Bon Pain and I couldnt breath and started to have reaction symptoms so had to leave and go write someplace else. I do not imagine having to live on Benedryl to prevent full blown reactions nor do I imagine having to take extra Benedryl (and breaking the tabs to get the poweder into my mouth directly which seems to sqelch the reactions faster) when I have a reaction. Or having to brush my teeth if it was something in food, which surprisingly works pretty quickly. That is how dangerous this is. That Bactrim really f*cked me up bad.
I told that doctor in AZ that I had a history of heavy mold exposure that basically altered the way my body processes many things but especially mold based medicines like anti biotics. I would feel 'mold sick' again if I had to take antibiotics. I also had to live on anti fungals until of course now I dont dare take anything which is why many of my mold sickness symptoms have returned like bad days when it rains etc around a place with old buildings etc like Boston area. That along with me having liver disease for many years should have put her off of giving me some Sulfa drug that is notoriously contraversial to begin with. Its not just the skin eating reaciton that long term Bacrim patients get that is dangeruos. Many people have had the same reaction I have had to this drug. It should be handled with alot more care than it currently is.
Its interesting that when yer in pain, you cant get drugs for it if you are female, a former addict etc as a sort of 'profiling' doctors do. And in my case, the slander to try to frame me to make it look like Jake didnt get his own pain killers to sell and I had something to do with it, has made it impossible for me over the years to get painkillers if I needed them for a legit reason.
But yet a drug that has now put my life in even more danger health wise is given to me quite easily and now look at the results.
When people read my expose they are going to have to look at what they have done. The only thing this country can do and the large amount of people who have assisted crooked cops and other corrupt factions in destroying my life is to ignore me now they screwd up so badly, write me of as someone who doesnt matter if I am mistreated anyway or not belive my story as then they would have to take responsiblity for thier actions.
Wait until you read about the amount of abuse, and mistreatment that is totally illegal as well and people feel they are validated !! The people of this country believe that!! This is totally a country under mind control if I ever saw one. Its disgusting. How easily they are manipulated into beliving what the system wants them to believe. Now I know why there are factions in this world that other people find evil that have given me support and possibly assisted in saving my life: people cannot be trusted. Its just as Machievelli said- The hearts of men are black. I have a bit of sympathy for the genuine good people in what is going on to the country and our world but many people hurt me very badly and made my health and my situation even worse without realzing what they were doing is basically assisting in a campaign of psychological warfare and torture. They are THAT a stupid and easily manipulated. This country will believe anything. And look how hard people fought during Bush, just like the Brits did today. Nothing changed it didnt stop any of that mess from happening. So the sheep sense that there is a power in control who's ultimate WILL cannot be bent, so like good lemmings they go along with whatever agenda that power dictates regardless of law or what innocents get hurt.
I took one inhalation of the inhaler they had here which was different from what I use. Doc said it was the same drug so it didnt matter. I said are you sure its exactly the same. She responded with "I know yer not going to believe me if I tell you its the same". What is that supposed to mean? That is very illogical and intimates some defect of character or thinking on my part not that I am dealing with very sensitive allergies since anaphylaxis which she had seemed to understand.
Sure enough I had a throat closing reaction but not the weight on the chest and heart feeling that often accompanies it in more severe reactions. I took more Benedryl and afterwards it subsided, in waves or cycles as has been my common experience throughout. Actually that is how the reaction responded upon the original full blown anaphylaxis, it came and went until it was settled. So that shows it was genuine as well as it resembles the orginal event.
I told her about it on the way out and she said "Well it shouldnt its the same medication". And then I got those looks that she tried to make sure I didnt see. I am so tired of dealing with this new generation of assholes in medicine. I like the old white haired guys, they seem like craftsmen and they seem honest with you..many of them anyway not all. Some Harvard physics professor who has been socializing with the Harvard Sq kids when he's drunk lately told me that his generation is all about fooling and deceiving everyone, as in thier perception "everyone is doing it". We discussed growing up cyber and being more anti social in the physical realm as opposed to cyber world. Finally I felt I was talking to someone on my level...but also with these educated types, something about being locked into a system of discipline from acedamia leaves something lacking in them, something yearning to go outside the lines but not daring to do so. Something doubting, which I never want to have in me. He was only 25 and so this is normal when one is young also. Funny how we want to live and value life when we get closer to its ending with age.
I am so sick of that look from people like her. That stupid denial. I had a surgeon who dealt with my endo and gyn stuff who used to do the same sh*t and it was just as ridiculous: "My scars hurt from my old surgeries". Doc: "Well, they shouldnt". Me: "but they do, isnt there anything like another surgery or another treatment? Physical therapy something?". Doc: "If we open you up again its more adhesions and damage. They shouldnt be bothering you." Me:" but they do". Doc: "But they shoudlnt".. and on and on like a f*cking tennis match. This is the same guy who wanted to still in this day and age try to push reverse menstruation as the cause of endometriosis when its well known its an auto immune disease and obviously connected to radiation exposure due to my mother and I being the only ones that have it. Its very possible anyway. But I am not suppose to be smart enough to know that to these f*cks.
These people have a multi million dollar a years industry and you can see that they avoid certain areas like the plague to keep it that way or not offend anyone like anything to do with human experimentation, academia etc.
Its not the exact same medicine is it? One says made in Ireland and the other says made in England. The one made in Ireland lists its other ingredients for delivery of the albuterol, the new one from England I was given does NOT. This may mean some difference also a different facility, manufaturing plant. I dont know what variations make me have reaction but this is not THE EXACT same medication. And she has years of college to know what the process should be to deduct that as well.
The least people like her could do is be sympathetic and calm the patient and say that its possible some difference in manufacturing is to blame and just go get it filled somewhere by the company you normally use. That would be the sane and civil thing to do. But like I pointed out earlier our world isnt about sanity anymore. Its like Satans generation has arrived straight from the Gates that Bush opened up during he and his bastard administration. They believe in decieving people as the norm. Hmmmm. Doesnt sound too good does it. The problem is that people are getting into medicine that dont belong there. Its no longer craft its a corporate industry and that makes the EMPLOYEES very different from craft. Also she works in a hospital that services alot of poor as well as rich and I am sure that accounts for her attitude as well. The War on the Poor has very subtle parts to it and this is one of them I have noted in the last 20 years. Just blow off people's concerns dont address them. Toughen people up so they dont expect as much. Which is a way of managing a population you are exploiting.
She also refered to my traveling and sleeping outside as 'so cool' when she should damn well have the training and being a woman as well to know something could be behind this lifestyle that meets the eye. She should at least have taken the way I live into consideration as being rough and factored into it the allergy condition which makes it alot more stressful.But no, its easier to act like I am merely happy go lucky. Its business you know, a big big corporate business and no one has time for details and there is always the next meatbag around the corner to deal with.
Granted its an ER and she must deal with much more severe things than this so perhaps its her nature to be more focused on more serious conditions that patients might be in.
There comes a point where you see so much shit trying to be an activist with subject matter no one wants to deal with and you get so victimized that you just KNOW after a while that no matter what attitude people put up to block you, you are right. There is no denial you cannot break through at this stage. Yer so half dead and robbed of life that you cannot afford to care what ignorant people think.
I recall when my mother started out trying to do activism for the radiation human experimentation she didnt really know how to do it yet and out of desperation (and probably living with being targeted and not being conshus of it) she wrote this pathetic hand written letter and made me take it into a doctor when I saw them for something, I forget perhaps endo related. It basically said something about her being a human experimentee but it was strange that with her obsession for perfect professional letter writing that she would have given me such a piece of shit like that to present. Its part of her abusive nature to humiliate people so I think subconsciously she was doing just that. Shes much more 'satanic' in her nature than I ever was.
The two young doctors read it together and just laughed at it. I knew that in order to beat a power structure you had to come at them on a level either they respected as familiar to the world they come from or from some other place that they couldnt reach, like for instance just not dealing with peon newly grad residents and going to much more experienced docs who are aware of issues like human experimentation, experts from other countries that are aware of the US's very nasty habits. The worst people in the world to look to for responsiblity are middle management which these guys at this level in a scam this big are just drones in the damn hive. There is some exotic doc somewhere, some scientist from someplace like Vienna or Switzerland or India, where such things are accepted due to spiritual outlook or a more sophisticated outlook. America, especially with how many middle class to upper middle little f*cks get into medicine, and especially to impress their parents or do what they want them to do- there is no way you are dealing with people who are going to comprehend what you are doing nor do they matter as going up against the US govt and military and CIA and other bastard factions of murderous, political and greedy a-holes, one would need an authority so heavy, that it crushes them just a bit so they know that its equal in weight to thier power and authority. If those little shills were worth anything as activists, they wouldnt be employed in corporate hospital A or B so easily.
They come off an assembly line and there is nothing unique about them. Average Americans that lower class Americans are supposed to bow before in this totally bullshit class system in the US. The idea that a doc or lawyer or a professional of any kind has some sort of edge over someone who talented or highly intelligent is its worst mistake, which is where they get dissidents like me. Think Euro like yer Ancestors and America is the falsely created fantasy it is. The missing capstone on the pyramid IS the loss of ancient wisdom.
And dont you worry these bastards have plenty of bullshit to replace it so that you'll have all kinds of lies, misconceptions and manufactured gods to worship in place of what yer ancestors knew and held dear.
Welcome to the USA. It did NOT have to be this way. The true terrorists are from within and they have been at this since WWII if not before, rotting America from the inside.
America did not have to become destroyed as it is now.
It will be interesting to see what new form and shape the bastards are going to end up with when they finish playing with thier NWO playset..then of course get bored like boys always do and have some more wars or settle Mars and then start a war with earth or some sh*t. But they WILL get bored and be compelled to build something new again. Amusing isnt it?
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