“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Sunday, April 27, 2014

NYC Trip To Check Out Means Of Leaving For EU Cancelled Due To Colon Pain Other Symptoms

Tried to go to NYC. Had to come back.  Pain in colon and near incontinence becoming very bad. Nausea, loss of sex drive, fatigue, loss of appetite.

This pain had only come about a week or so ago. After I had the cold everyone homeless had where u r sick in stages. Suspiciously orderly for just a creation of nature. I say its bio warfare to try to kill off the homeless specifically outside sleepers in Cambridge.

Then I got food poisoning sick from a feed in Harvard Sq that Hope Church puts out on Wednesday nights.

I had also moved my storage from a building that was climate controlled to an adjoining one where the old wood frames have mold thats always particularly unhealthy.

Being exposed to the west coast this year for so long is a factor I'm sure. I had this kind of pain in San Diego last year when I realized I should have a colonoscopy as I had experienced rectal bleeding while staying in MA in August 2011 (after Fukushima) and then February 2012 of the next year while living in San Antonio TX.

They fixed me up but said I should watch my health.

I've had other symptoms besides this pain now. Something is very wrong. If its not a tumor or cancer maybe it can be fixed but if its cancer which I am suspecting becuz so many TIs who know too much die that way, I don't even know if I would get an honest answer or decent health care here.

This year it seems as if the powers that be in Boston/Cambridge are genuinely attempting to kill people off. The fact I couldn't really be fully aware and conscious of what was going on to go to an ER with pain and was driven to some hair brained scheme to try to go to NYC instead shows me that there's a much more serious attempt at murder here this time around.

If its cancer I know that people here will be mercilessly cruel while I am dying so I will stay away from people and the city as much as possible.  I do not want to go through treatment in such negative environments as this area. Just going to RI made it clear how many blacks here are just evil, negative and destructive influences on the lives of oppressed and homeless people in the area. As well as the regular guy union types if they know who u r and have what they believe is dirt on you. The YUPpies are polite but many are polite assholes and so many gang stalking perps are of those three demographics.

This area is just plain evil. There are however some in healthcare who actually do care and I could get treated here.

But staying out of the parameters around the city limits is imperative. The ring of fire let's call it. I've documented it before, years ago.

This is what happens when u don't follow your guidance system. A few years ago when my health was better I got the idea I should leave the country. Now its too late becuz circumstances have caused illness.

I can always leave but I would probably be leaving to die elsewhere.

Going to RI gave me clarity which I could not get here which says something in itself.
Why did I have to go a state away to realize I needed to go to an ER as well as get the hell out of the city? Instead I was getting sicker every day and walking around getting brainwashed to accept my fate by becoming a Christian.

Whoever is in charge this time around is much more murderous than in years before. And the area seems to hate me alot more than they ever did.

They've always hated me. I need to realize how much MA has always wanted me dead and they won't stop until its a reality.

Harvard Sq is a death camp for the homeless or at least the homeless TIs out there.

I realize now that the USA really has become  akin to  a Nazi death camp. The US Nazi-ified. Not militarized, not just  a soft core military dictatorship but very much what the Nazis had planned.

Men mostly wear shaved heads now as hairstyle. People are obsessed with perfection and the strongest, best and most fit to survive. Those perceived as weak, worthless, defective or overly emotional  in nature, sensitive who have no other value are being either killed off or put into re educational programs.

I understand now what was meant by that man some years ago who went postal at his job and shot his co workers, claiming he had been having inter dimensional visions, experiencing reality in and out, where his co workers appeared to him as Nazis. And his being influence by the archangel Michael. The statue of St Michael always has him with a sword holding Satan down to the ground under his foot.

Interesting isn't it that so many Jews are in on these events and activities. Perhaps the Nazis were simply an example of what was to come or this world wide NWO is modeled after their example.

Its no surprise that scientific  discoveries from projects rooted in Project Paperclip are being used heavily for the NWO.

Their ploy at handling Targets and even the homeless is to make us feel bad or ashamed or criminalize homelessness becuz society knows that there are injustices responsible for these conditions and so is diverting attention from that by making the victims feel like criminals. Its the USAs way of getting their way and being greedy without consequences.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Feeling Like Part of Leaving The USA Is Due To Not Completing Missions On Time

It feels as if I was supposed to have gotten lawyers and completed my book by now and becuz I did NOT do so, Ive failed in some way. Like its too late. As if the people who believed in me are done with me. Ive failed, its too late now. Much has happened becuz I did not act in time.

I cant understand any of it. I was so heavily targeted there is nothing I could have done. I could not have acted any quicker I could not have done any more than I did.

I had posted last year and the year before that I was being hit with the idea that I should contact lawyers and write my book but I was also being hit with a blocking mechanism that prevented me from doing just that simultaneously. I dont understand how I could have done any better.

Now I am being urged to leave the USA becuz its too late and such ideas. There is the issue of Fukashima radiation and now the nuclear accident in Carlsbad, NM.

In the Boston area basically only Sat and Sun feel normal as normal levels were defined in the 10 yrs past. During the week I and I assume other Targets are getting fried the sh*t out of daily. Fatigue, memory loss, strings of illnesses, inability to function. I note that this is very bad due to living outside for most of the days and nights. If I have periods where I live like housed people- I go inside like they go to work during day then inside at night to sleep like they would, the effects lessen considerably.

So its true what people are saying they are trying to kill off anyone who is homeless. This was probably planned from the beginning. Take all the dissidents and inconvenient people, drive them into homelessness then become intolerant make it so they cant sleep inside anywhere especially underground areas to escape exposure then up the radiation levels. Its going to quickly destroy anyone who doesnt stay inside, thats what I am experiencing. Especially anyone older with health issues.

Its probably a warning to escape what is coming. Even if I contacted lawyers now or wrote my story etc it would not change the radiation levels I am exposed to outside. I dont understand what producing my book would have done to cause a different outcome. Its as if before people cared or would pay attention and now for some reason, Im getting this impression that they dont care or would not care.

However, working or living according to what society or outsiders thought or how they would react to my work was never a concern before. It never mattered.

The system here is now totally impossible to beat or function in as well as whatever support I had before is gone.

The remote influence is so pervasive that daily functioning is impossible not even simple things. They keep making me run memories of gang stalking over and over again in my head so it distracts me from my work and daily tasks. I am overwhelmed by these concerns about the quality of my personal life and what other peoople think of me- things that never mattered before.

I think I was exposed to radiation levels on the west coast that simply made me so sick that I cant functino any longer. Whatever they didd  to me at OHSU with that abortion proceedure that no one will help me with or admit to has also been a factor. I was also exposed to something in Portland thats been very nasty. My nose continues to bleed and a rash keeps coming up cyclicly under my nose along with the crusting up and bleeding inside my nose.

I read that OHSU is a horrible research hospital involved in the military industrial complex as well as they wanted to be part of builduing a bio terrorism lab in the wilderness outside Portland OR.

I guess I messed with the wrong area in the N W. They obviously are fully in on the NWO and murdering dissidents as opposeed to more humane areas.

This feeling bad, depressed and full of gloom in my heart as well as ideations to leave and no one will care about my work comes and goes depending on what location I am in.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Terrible Morning. Outburst. Weakening. Red Sox Nation Once Again Brings Thier Black Ops To Town.

Something about Harvard Sq and being outside generally is kicking my ass.

Had an outburst, racial in nature as usual. Another result of my not getting away this year to another location has been that I'm extremely stressed from dealing with the stupidity unique to the Boston/Cambridge.

Being harassed and challenged constantly by the two major demographics of affluent, bratty young people (probably new money becuz they behave with little class and alot of privilege) as well as thier component, the African American population here is usually something that traditionally causes me to meltdown frequently as well as render my nerves frayed. Add to that the mold and air pollution in the inner city area and I am really screwed. Its showing too, the wear from not traveling this year.

It was well deserved but again, we are talking about another success in this area for discrediting me and making me both look nuts and literally driving me nuts.

Was very effected this morning by everything thats been going on I posted last night on ONGS. Upset and thats rare, that this upsets me. Also haunted by the constant feeling that something is going to go down here soon in the states and...one wants to be strategically placed in order to fare best within those upcoming circumstances..lets just say.

Very effected this morning by the gang stalking thats become more intense last week or so and constant, not able to focus properly under duress. Still havent filed police reports with internal affairs-'mistakenly' threw away notebook today after buying new one that had my rendition of what occurred that morning in NOV last year. Note that this campaign worsened as Ive tried to file a police report for the detective harassment.
(I'll just f*ckin do it again and from memory this time.)

I was kind of aware the gs might intensify this week as THE RED SOX started playing again and as we all know, Red Sox Nation are so friendly with the CIA that they have been documented to lend out thier private jets for interrogation runs. The perps have always made sure I was harassed thoroughly as well as other homeless people to protect thier little tourist business.

Not that pro sports in America isnt totally sexist anyway with no problem in supporting the most abusive forms of male oppression, violence and of course the patriarchy. Its also a way of keeping the public bonded to thier city, region and country through team loyalty as well as getting women to emulate male stupidity (that excludes females) as well as making men controllable, bonded and made to feel focused on, special and omnipotent.
Its eerie the way Sox fans are unified in thier hatred of me and thier collective refusal to give me anything while panhandling just stupid looks or dirty ones. But they will gladly support the black crackhead, the old drunk guy or whoever- especially if the person is smart enough to wear a piece of clothing that identifies them as Red Sox fans.
Ive noticed that Sox fans are the most sociopathic, obnoxious snobs who somehow actually believe they have some sort of power in the world simply by virtue of their cult..I mean gang..I mean team affiliations. Celtic fans are second most obnoxious and the best, well behaved, fun and most handsome are Bruins fans. Becuz hockey is awesome and for real men anyway. WTF is baseball? Snooooze.

It seems Sox fans feign the sophistication and yearn for the conservative cool of the golf sport but in the end are just overweight YUPpie meatheads who come in for games from the suburbs that somehow are so lacking in any understanding of real wealth, that their obvious middle class values betray them by they choosing snobbery instead of any sense of class that comes with affluence.
The 'safe' jocks is what I call them. Sheeple jocks. This explains my natural leanings towards approving of the masculinity of Bruins fans over the douches that come to Fenway for Red Sox Terrorist Nation.

You want to be badass sports fans and you believe you are superior becuz you can afford a ticket in this day and age when regular people cant get into games but like what Fenway and the Sox have become themselves you are nothing more than a reflection of corporate culture in America that has co-opted 'edgy' from truly risk taking, bad ass cultures.
Kind of like the weekend warrior biker douchebags that do gang stalking when they decide to sport thier Harley gear. Only when not at at office of course.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Its Time To Plan An Escape From The USA

Ive been reduced in this area to being increasingly isolated and shunned.

This area being vein and obsessed with beauty since i shaved my head and now its grown in short and im dressing boyish in bibs ive lost alot of influence in this area.

That travel companion i had also aged me traveling for a year and i definitely look older.  This combination has me markedly hated this visit back home or what remains of it.

For health reasons I need to travel for a month then come  back,  finish my medical appointments in Boston.  Then find somewhere away from this oppressive,  psychomanaged,  horrible place to save up to leave the USA.

Hopefully I can be harassed in a culture I actually like and fit in with.

This area is doing nothing but destroying me to mold me into something that can fit jnto this area. Which i resent and should resist thoroughly.

The price of living in  the Boston area nowadays is behavior and total modification of a person as well as existing in a totally psycho-managed area.

Its so heavy handed and oppressjve that the system will have you convinced this outcome is the normal evolution of a person and their life when in fact outside the city limits,  when all forms of influence fall away,  specifically technology,  the true nature and self return.  The person return to a full awareness of reality.

Im weakened,  aged and without my feminine whiles to protect me and gain respect from this shallow society.  They thought this will make me more easily molded this time.

Once again im being hit with ideations to apply to UMass Boston,  a school I definitely do NOT wish to attend.  Perhaps years ago when i was pla ning my life after waking up from programming but now I fully understand what this country and  this city is really about why the hell wud i stay?

Thats rhe plan.  To reduce people like me to normal average stupid people who are reconditioned to be socially acceptable and fit into society then give the person a mediocre future,  one that is no way near the potential they once had.

The United States can go f$ck themselves.  They dont deserve me to even stay here as long as i have. Its been disgusting what they've done to my life and potential.

I've lately been driven to appearing mentally ill in public and increasing isolated.

They want to complete the modification obviously.

Anyone who respects truth,  reality,  Nature and human life would never allow that to happen.

I've seen what they've done to my ex Jake,  my former friend and my own mother.  All people possessing magickal gifts from their European DNA.  All destroyed to fit into the NWO.

I will escape.  America is fake.  It genocide the Natives.  This isnt my homeland... And they wont get me.

I will go starve in my ancestral homelands,  whats left before mass immigration destroys them also by design. I know there is resistance there.