“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Sick Of Being Watched And Brainwashed

I'm sick of every conversation I have being listened to by spies and cameras. I'm tired of an ocean of agents in place everyday everywhere I go.

What they do to targets is to isolate us and then basically brainwash us to perform for an audience (cameras, spies etc) so that we are always giving info they need to continue everything from behavior modification to keeping us under control.

If u r made to believe u r being watched even in the shower or that while walking down the street someone is using see thru technology to view and judge your genitals or naked body, that every second this system is watching u and listening u basically start talking and acting JUST for them.

U get Stockholm Syndrome and begin to be what they want u to be not only to please them but as a way of pleading for your life-to make the torture stop.

Maybe if I please my captors they will ease up a little or it will get better.

Its a horrible life and I realize now that Americans actually agree with something like this being done to someone like me for national security and becuz I am a threat to their empire (America).

I'm sick of my life only being about going to get coffee then drudging from one homeless drop to another then MIT.
I'm sick of being watched. Everyone hates me here. People still hang on to a ten year old cover story.

America is a hateful evil place that's ruined my life and I just want to leave and stick to never coming back to Boston again this time.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Getting Hit Hard During Week Cant Function, Need To Leave For Good This Time

Time to try to travel elsewhere and find a way to leave the US again.

I am getting fried during the week in Cambridge and Boston. Its too cold to sleep outside the city limits and that's the only place  the electromagneti pollution lets up.

The city has changed over these years of me being away every winter. Its now populated by these awful norm average type middle class people with money who think they are rich becuz of some weird class  changes I am not aware of.  Probably middle class people who have shifted into upper  economic levels in order to survive the destruction  of the middle classes.

These types of people are still so without real class and insecure that they do subtle things to bully alternative people like me in public places-buses, the subway, shops everywhere. If its gang stalking its unusual tactically for perps.
This is hard enough to take but also whatever the electromagnetic influence is they've turned it way the hell up over the past year or two. The change in environmental climate for this is so obvious on Saturdays Sundays and federal holidays. During the week its really bad.
On clear days I just mentioned it feels like it used to everyday out here.

And they've completely gotten rid of the Harvard Sq street scene which is going to help destabilize Targeted Individuals and other homeless people as well.

And everyone is always spying on each other. People are always checking out what u r doing on your phone or even what paperwork people are reading or working on like in coffee shops etc.
Its become a spy society. Its really uncomfortable and ridiculous.

You can't stay focused, remember anything or function during the week when the electromag is strong.

Ever since Fukushima the rains and snows bring a craziness and depression that's crippling when the snows come but more so the rain.
One becomes very detached, flat emotionally. Withdrawn.

Just becuz it's wrong I should have to leave my hometown doesn't mean it isn't the right thing to do.

Every single time I come back here I become rendered totally ineffectual. It's time to stop repeating the same actions that give the same results which are not favorable to my goals.

There's also a core of people here who only focus on the cover story and will always believe I am just a poor person who doesn't belong in areas like Cambridge or Harvard Sq.
The little snobs who work at the MIT libraries (who aren't students BTW)  actually believe I go to use computer at MIT becuz I want to be associated with MIT's status in society.

Its becuz its a place I can use the computer for a few hours not just two like public library and its not ghetto, its quiet structured and I'm surouned by other smart people. It's where I shud have been in life had I been a normal person not an experimentee and mc slave kept down for life.

Besides. That building is more mine than anyone who passes through there. It belongs to my people-its a solid constriction reminiscent of the pyramids and other masonic works. It has Masonic energies. Why wouldn't I be attracted to it.
The Luciferian family tree has different branches. Templars, Rosicrucians, Masons etc are all related just different. We all recognize the same symbols.

These thjngs were built for us on energy lines (ley lines) and energy spots on the earth. That's what I'm 'attracted' to. Actually it seems totally normal to be in these locations. They are ours...normal people only get to take up space in them as they pass through. We are eternal in them.

This is why the NWO is destroying any and all of our symbols and structures.  So that the huge electromagnetic (false unhealthy man made magnetic fields) net they've created can take over completely without any opposition.

I realized today how much this area has eradicated the Catholic influence from the Irish, Italian and some Spanish neighborhoods that defined Boston. Its easier to bring in heartless, soulless isolating YUPpie and nigrified ghetto culture as the norm without any European influences in the way. Especially ANYTHING expressing Virgin or Mother Mary. There can be no representation of female goddesses in a military dictatorship which is inherently male in its dominating nature. Female goddeses and mother figures connect humans to Nature as well as are representative of ancient pagan Europeans.
Corporate culture can't create false environments to trap people in if they are connected to any part of their ancient past or outside the bubble like the natural world.

This is why turning to your DNA and getting assistance from the ancestors like the Oriental Asians do, is one of the only ways to beat this system, especially behavior modification.

There is no way I can function here now. Not even long enough to try to get just medical care completed or some legal help for some kind of justice for any part of what happened from 2003 onward.

There's too many YUPpies and nasty viscous new immigrants willing to make their bones in this country by doing whatever the system demands of them.

Obviously the NWO wants all European culture and history destroyed and eradicating whites who express that naturally is one of the ways to do it.

There's too many sheep who think they are being Satanic evil and hardcore by being in on this when they are just lemmings mobbing someone they are told not to like by their masters.

Too many people here still only know the cover story and believe I am a stupid poor person who's life was easily destroyed and I deserved it. I can't live with that.

Leaving for good is the only option.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Being Hit Hard Constantly In Cambridge To Leave Country And Drop Project

Being fried and hit constantly to leave town and forget or drop project, legal actions and police complaints.

Especially in Cambridge MA. I can feel the difference when I leave and go outside of Cambridge.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Two Perps In Harvard Square Homeless Shelter-Two Mentally Ill Females, Long Time Shelter Rats

OK ladies and gents, we have yet another shelter rat who's a pain in my ass and insists on being a totally insane douche.

Yolanda. Overweight energy thieving psychic vampire who of course hides behind being insane, if its not an act. Ive asked about her and she's friendly with staff at most shelters and can describe them and knows them by name.

Which means she's most likely at some point influenced by they being in on the Gang Stalking agenda to harass homeless targets who come into shelters. Which is why probably she's been on my ass since the day I set foot in here on an emergency bed.

She even tried to harass me yesterday at the Women's Center by doing stupid shit and making noise with her chair as she kept looking over to see if I noticed but I was busy with other things on computer.

These are MY spaces. I stay in Cambridge for a reason becuz its a place thats my safe zone. More and more people from Boston and the shelter system are making thier way into this area and the staff at these two places I mentioned this year are young people who are new at running these places, so the sh*theads are coming back to make rounds, knowing that the naive kids dont know who they are and cant spot thier bullshit right away.

There's also some St Pats trash here, an black annoying woman who wears black and red (of course) and has OCD. I recall she kept waking me up in the morning the few days I could tolerate staying there this winter (too moldy. Black mold real bad in bathrooms and upstairs.) by opening and closing her squeaky drawer repeatedly due to her 'disorder'.

Its not so much that I mind as her disorder of racism by wearing  black and red. And being a total self righteous asshole about disturbing people with her ocd.

She just walked out the door and smirked at me. Her name is Sam I think.

Why so many people are connected to Gang Stalking from St Pats I dont know but its always been that way.

More powerless losers who feel they are involved in something. Maybe they are Christians who are Cause Stalkers.

It would be interesting to see if they are involved in working for crooked cop networks locally (which would explain shelter involvement) or if its private black ops companies. Becuz St Pats clients or guests were heavily involved in gang stalking there and at On The Rise years ago, before OTR cleaned up thier act and got rid of staff who supported gs activities there.

Monday, February 10, 2014

My Ex Boyfriend and An Example of How Betrayers Are Forced Into A TIs Life Then Used To Psych Destroy You Over Time


"Jake Hamilton
Usually working as a picture editor, Jake Hamilton occasionally returns to his roots in sound design for director Paul Solet when Paul strokes his ego enough.
The end result is usually the same, Paul and Jake giggle their asses off while the audience gets nauseous and passes out.
When not working with Paul, Jake puts his time and energy into socially conscious and uplifting projects in an effort to avoid eternity in hell"

No more like when another rich kid (Solet and friends) actually gives his fat lazy upper middle class ass a project to do to get him out of his nowhere career which is where it would be if he had not gotten busted, joined NA and had local perps and scumbags give him opportunities purely for his being involved in frame ups, interferring with federal investigations (involving payoffs to local crooked cops) and doing his part for MK Ultra continued experimentation, psy ops, black ops and other WAR CRIMES originating in the Bush era.

'socially conscious and uplifting projects'??? Like what, more media psy ops for Hollywood with his Jewish friends? (And even though he looks like Mr Nordic compared to me, HE is the one who has Jewish ancestry through his mother from north Carolina. JACOBSON. They converted due to typical social pressures down south. For the first years of the overt gs campaign I had people making Jewish jokes at me (St Louis, MO) and using the assumption I was Jewish to harass me psychologically. When in fact, I am simply Slavic (Polish/Lithuanian) and Italian partially in my ancestry so I get mistaken for this backround alot.

The people behind gs know who to support. They know who is who. Who will bend and do anything for opportunity and who will resist. Who they can blackmail and who will through it back in thier faces and not give a shit.

If anything, the amount of Jews involved in gang stalking in my campaign alone and the absolute hatred involved with destroying me is just more evidence of Israel's involvement in 9-11 which ties into every single TI's campaigns nationwide. A good majority of us realize that if we were intergenerational Targets due to such things as survivorship from MK Ultra like projects, Ritual Abuse etc-whatever the motive for life long harassment- it escalated to a ridiculous and potentially deadly degree in 2003. A time of anti terrorism, war abroad and the Patriot Act among other things.

Hollywood is heavily tied to Israel and thus Mossod. This is thier intelligence network, capable of many documented dirty deeds just like your friendly CIA historically. Hollywood also works for the American intelligence agencies by pumping out crap for the people's consumption like propaganda, mind control and every other thing you can think of to not only target the public for thought control but Targeted Individuals as well.

It stands to reason that a clown like my ex boyfriend Jake, after a four year relationship, would turn against me (after being busted for a large amount of drugs TWICE IN TWO MONTHS TIME, though they were first offenses, but that was only becuz 1. he always hung out with and was protected by other rich kids 2. thus was never any use to local crooked cops nor this larger system of creeps involved in black projects.) then become successful so suddenly in an industry closely connected to so many vices as well as complimentary investments in the privatized prison and military industrial complex.

He has yet to even begin to probably even CARE about the severity of his actions, not only against me but against his country. MK Ultra and all related IS part of the systems of technologies and psy ops that has this country under control and is helping to destroy it every year. Every false flag and hoax depends on people like him as well as all of the arts of deception and brainwashing that have come about due to black projects like MK Ultra.

What a great way to cover up how underhanded and a total punk ass sell out you had to be in order to GET good opportunities at all in that business. I doubt if he has a guilty conscience. The last thing I recall him saying to me on a telephone is .."think of you? I dont think of you at all?". Well, there's the WASP in him. A nice, cold short cut of the tongue feigning superiority upon ending a relationship.

How many idiots around here are so dim and so wrapped up in local bullshit that they actually believe in the cover story still, that is so laughably simple it doesnt even makes sense? I play with people I meet sometimes that I experience intimating the cover story as if its some big secret I am in denial about still or too stupid to realize whats gone on. At some point, I mention to these f*ckers things like Targeted Individuals, being targeted or..if they deserve it- MK Ultra.

Without fail I always get a perplexed look on thier faces and a momentary relief from thier smugness in thinking they have control over someone who is a victim becuz they know what the plot is about. This is one of my small rewards in life. Its just hard to have to act stupid all the time in order to get where and what I need to complete my project concerning what IS really going on. I have to deal with alot of stupid people who believe the cover story is the height of sinister intent and deception. Its a joy to watch thier faces fall..as if I just got sick of them and finally pulled out a huge weapon and shot them dead where they stood and they fell, with that stupid look on thier faces. That look of thinking they were in control, of thinking someone was weak and stupid when in fact, they were being used by the victim and perpetrator all along.

I wonder if Paul Solet, the bitch, learned all that in movie making psychology class 101? I was told by another smug average asshole locally a few years ago that his parents are psychologists. Hmm..do they work for Harvard or MIT or Mass General or any of the places Ive suffered at the hands of...all of those places and many others WERE ALL DOCUMENTED TO BE INVOLVED IN MK ULTRA many with black budgets.


That piece of crap made it to Sundance? LMFAO.

Of course the jerk behind the movie hostel was his "mentor". Roth? Yeah ok.

When Hostel came out I ignored it becuz I just knew it was going to be a psy ops, mind f*cking piece of Hollywood psych warfare. I was severely gang stalked and even experimented on and drugged at a local hostel and every single hostel in the USA is usually a gang stalking hot spot full of perps. Why this is I dont know. Also, theres usually perverts who are dirty old men running those places or owning them. Dont know why this is either. Trafficking? Prostitution was mentioned to me concerning the Hi Hostel in Boston (note its been shut down and a nice, big new one is downtown.)  I was warned that pervs connected to that place were trying to drug me and other women off the street through food kick downs. (The man who told me that is a street person who to this day I buy him something at the beginning of every month if I can find him and will do so for the rest of my life.)

Many Targeted Individuals tell of experiencing severe harassment in hostels. By the time that movie came out I had been experienced in this so I knew it was another steaming load of crap from Hollywood's psy ops dept. And look who is behind it of course. Jake's buddy who he got famous with AFTER being a key part in trying to frame me up for drugs and being a total kiddie pervert (which at least the first part I am to understand my mother stepped in or someone did. Scott my handler who pumped me for info for local authorities or whoever to make sure I was no danger in the federal investigation, referred to Jake and his rich asshole friends as 'stupid'...I assumed due to thier FAIL in trying to pull off a frame up.)
My being a kiddie pervert was attempted by him showing me some questionable, very grey area Hentai comics which I had never seen him look at before and I now realize my reaction of not saying anything (out of shock of him looking at such materials) was probably filmed and used to make me appear to be a pervert myself. And probably every sex act during the waning of our relationship was filmed which included him asking me for role playing he never really did before so frequently that of course put me in the part of looking like a pervert, Mommy, etc. Usually he wanted to live out his childhood fetish for his babysitter and stuff like that. I was a bit suspect of at the end the constantly asking for Mommy role play. I should have known.

So Jake gets famous becuz of a rich kid like Solet who is connected to Hollywood scum that make psy ops movies. Yeah, it makes sense.

It always does. Eventually if you survive long enough everything gets mapped out as things are revealed to you. In the end you see the wisdom of doing gang stalking activism. Becuz once people know its a system, and its connected to abuse of psychology and horrible black projects using humans as experimentees- abuse cults like Temple of Set and people like Michael Aquino (COS, Temple of Set, US Military psy ops officer, Satanist and author of MIND WAR, a military paper co authored with a conservative general, that conceptualizes mass mind control as part of the psych operations needed to 'win' the hearts and minds of the western world in the NWO...once your mind can learn fast enough and understand its a sophisticated system hidden from the public and not the trickery put on you that you are a horrible person and should commit suicide- it only makes itself more credible and valid as the years go on.

BTW another interesting thing about Mr Hamilton is that I was basically led to cross his path at the club in Cambridge he worked at in 1999 I believe. I recall it very clearly becuz I did not drink anymore due to liver disease and had outgrown going to clubs years before. However, one night it seemed out of place that I was urged so hard to go out to this one particular club.

Basically I was mind controlled to meet this person in a specific place in time. In the negative it was probably to get me to connect with a male as I never had, so that they could then use him against me to destroy me and also enslave me for life through his memory. The way they separate you from people you love, they do it in such a way that you can never heal from the break from that person. They do it with your family also. And then they use those memories to torment you and keep you imprisoned. Its a means of controlling a Targeted Survivor is all it is, which is why its so important to move on and find SOMETHING else, some other life, even if you feel that the one you were ripped from in such a brutal way under such bizarre circumstances is still there and unfinished business. This is what causes suicide and if not- insanity.

Even if you still work on trying to either retain, regain or heal from your previous life they've taken you from..abducted you from really- you have got to reinvent yourself or you will go insane or just fade away. This is ultimately what they want becuz even though the stupids in society latch onto the mobbing behaviors,as if its becuz you are merely hated, remember- the designers of these campaigns are professionals and thier goals are all business. Its military and intelligence behind this. The business end of this is that you are evidence of war crimes from black or classified projects. You are also a victim witness to war crimes.  Also with all the damage you will likely cost the health system money as well as other forms of assistance- so having you gone serves a dual purpose as they always do things in this way.

This is most likely why soldiers are coming back home and suiciding. No one wants experimentees, human sacrifices or witnesses to US war crimes returned to civilized society and revealing too much.
We've all experienced the complete and total false environment they now have Americans living in, specifically YUPpies and the young people today. These people cannot tolerate anything disturbing thier totally false sense of security or illusion of safety in daily life. The terrorist attacks and the Bush era served the purpose of making them hold onto for dear life any sense of safety and predictability in thier society.

Secretly, they want all evidence of US war crimes and wrong doing destroyed just as much as the people at the top. The public are no longer Americans- they are citizens living in the United States of America existing in whatever world is created for them by thier overlords who, they have seen more than once, can make big magick and make tall buildings go boom! and false flags and hoaxes anytime, anywhere. They dont want any trouble! So they help preserve the false environment of normality while outside the bubble everything from Fukishima to this sh*t to returning soldiers to Bush being outlawed in countries for war crimes to mass immigration etc blows up in our faces. And I suspect that with the bad economy and lack of opportunity they will do anything to anyone, like my ex boyfriend did, to get out of trouble or get into the American dream..which now requires human sacrifices I see.

Humans have been performing sacrifices as part of religious ritual for centuries in ancient times. So its in some far reaching part of  the human mind. Dont underestimate humans if they are pushed to far, manipulated and threatened- starved out and then that part of the primitive mind is tapped into.

Dont be a sacrifice. Mobbing allows individuals to get away with no only these crimes against people like me but these actions connected to war crimes which the public dont even seem to have a concept of.
Mobbing allows betrayers to take on the emotional abseence of simply being perps who never knew you to begin with so have no emotional responsibility to you as a person. Mobbing is very dangerous as its a form of mass mind control or brainwashing. People lose a sense of reality and then, that action is rewarded and the action of waking up out of that brainwashing is anchored to a punishment. Thus they are motivated, even for the remainder of their lives, to not see things as they really were, to not take responsibility for what they did as part of literally murdering and destroying a human being.

If these things were done overtly they would be punished with severe jail time or the death penalty.

Recall many of us Survivors in our activism write and have videos on Jim Jones and Jonestown. Charles Manson and his family. All these cults had connections to either Church of Satan thus  military psy ops or the CIA.  JUST LIKE MK ULTRA.  These are theorized to be experiments in just how can you get a group of people to become so brainwashed they murder for you?

This is what is transpiring in the entirety of our society today. How can you turn an entire nation into one big, greedy, asleep, self serving mob that will kill off anyone deemed as a threat to the precious safety of the cult?

This along with the other things involved in mass mind control like tech and chemical influences are what is shaping western society today. All that Illuminati crap and symbolism in the media especially in the music industry is nothing more than psychological warfare. If they were truly secret and THAT was thier power- why would they need to reveal themselves to the commoners ad naseum? It doesnt make sense.

There is no shortage of people to f*ck you over on your journey along this path to fighting this system for yourself and the rest of humanity. Most people are stupid sh*ts who have no idea of whats really behind what seems like criminal monekyshines that are supported by dumbasses in the police force, organized crime or other power structures they understand and have knowledge of.

The military and intel agencies dont f*ck around and they are absolutely ruthless and calculating. Most of the stupidity you encounter is faked, part of psy ops or is from useful idiots close to you, near you or around you in public spaces who are actually that stupid that think its all fucking fun and games.

Stupid people are dangerous people. Ive learned that after being perped for years by people who probably I saw once and would never see again and thought it was nothing but for me the accumalitive effects were potentially deadly and have been very destructive.

After you get burned, dont think these bastards will give you time to heal-like life is for normal people. They will keep burning you any way they can until you are dead. And the people close to you will rationalize away your death or slow decline- enjoying of course thier new found success in life. The system will always take care of them for thier serving it. And it will take care of you by killing you off for not being useful.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Its Getting Harder- So Why Am I Motivated To Complete The Task Now?/Radiation Exposure

I was told I have a BENIGN (non cancerous) tumor in my left femur leg bone right below where I have bursitis in and around my hip joint. Arthritis is in its early stages in both hips, partially from overuse by carrying a backpack around the USA for six years at an advanced age.

This hurts to say the least especially the leg bone which I can tell the doctors are trying to minimize. Which is easy during the day when the system is now in full effect these days.

Its not far fetched to picture a world where we, the inconvenient or poor or whatever are going to slowly be killed off and we wont feel a thing or make a peep about it. This system, used to create super soldiers on the battle field originally by the military in black classified projects, can make you believe you are NOT in pain or that things are positive when they are actually pretty bleak, that you are energetic when actually you have been being tortured and pushed beyond your limits for YEARS,  and it can make you believe you are a normal, small person when you have been traveling the country for years encountering mind blowing things and fighting giant forces of violence and evil like a hero in tales of old.

This system can make you believe you are less significant than you are or greater than you every could be without it. It can make u feel u can go on when you shouldnt be able to.

My health was not as bad as it is now in this degenerative state before the radiation from Fukishima entered the environment and headed over to north America. I was on the west coast for most of last year- not the best judgment I ever made but I didnt understand how radiation works to destroy health.

I can feel weakness taking over my body. I can feel my bones getting weak its as if my life energy and strength are leaving my very bones. It would not surprise me that after this stage cancer comes into the picture. My mother being a radiation experimentee, my being hit for years with weapons for years (especially in 2008 where in St Louis they did so much damage that, if I had not taken an herbal regimen, I would have sustained alot more damage.
Since  my having full blown anaphylaxis to Bactrim in 2009 I can no longer take herbs as I have allergic reactions to many things, even am missing vitamins and foods from my diet as a result.) and now the effects of radiation from Fukishima and possibly other sources that we are not being told about or are not highly reported in media- my body is just becoming a victim of what seems like radiation exposure.

(I had an MRI for the leg and hip joint and unlike many years ago when I had MRIs for things the radiation from the machine effected my heart and my entire electromagnetic field it seemed. I could hardly keep myself...together, physically it felt like, during the MRI. It felt like the radiation was pulling me apart or at other times, effecting my heart beat or mental state.)

MA is a very bad place for all of this. Its basically a place where I feel like I am being killed off slowly. But where else am I supposed to go? I feel better once underground in a safe structure or after 12 midnight, both are a great relief, the greatest of course being federal holidays.

Im pushing harder than ever to get concrete legal action done while I still can to at least document what I know and report it to international authorities. Its all I can do and its the least I can do for whats left of the country and city I once loved as well as for other countries around the world also being destroyed slowly by the NWO.

Im being driven by the fact that they are so determined to destroy me now. The gang stalking is somehow much more effective with whatever is here for influence (tech, chemical). Never before have I been being so strongly held at bay from taking action or exerting my Will by the idea that I am alone and no one will believe my work.
That was never a concern before, why and how is it being made one now?

If I am going to die especially in such a manner as to have my vitality and life's energy taken from me and depleted then I am going to make sure that my job is done and that legal action is finally taken. I should have done this years ago but I just couldnt. I was too compartmentalize as well as I was under the misguided impression that I had a life as well as this project.

With the effects of Fukishima that has been taken from me.

My account of what has happened to me over these years pretty much maps out how these assholes give people cancer that they want to get rid of.