“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Leaving US Only Option Now

The guy Im getting a.ride.from.is.a.piece of.shit.

He keeps learing at my body all the time as.if.this.is what i.owe him.for.the ride. I can get truck rides way better than this. He alsl drives tired which is messed up. Hes a slob too. Hes old so and wants attention from a female but I wont do anythjng with him. why should i? i can get much safer more pleasant rides than this from truckers who dont want anything from me and dont make me feel uncomfortable.

It just makes me realize why i have to leave the country before the next election.
Im sick of the culture here. Sick of the fat people sick of the men tired men thinking

they can get.something off me easily just becuz of the way I am built. Sick of the blacks in any city north of Texas or the south. Tired of the Mexicans who seem to be in on GS in very high numbers or at least know about it.
This country is a shithole, culturally and spiritually. I know the NWO is world wide and I will never find a place that will let me be but you never know.

Charles Schlund said the tech is less intense outside the US.

Its so bad now that I cant think straight long enough to get medical care. I keep getting harassed to go home to my family and attend UMass and move on, accept my situation and forget about what happened.

Yet when I try to put forth my Will to get a.lawyer even thinking of it I immediately become weakened and the thought ends up leaving my mind.

I was in Laredo this morning. As usual down near the border I felt calm and happy. Coming up into Texas northbound I once again have become focused on sex mentally by feeling a low level of constant arousal as well as I percieve myself as disgusting due to being overweight and I generally feel bad about myself, of course this driver isnt helping.

He thinks if he lears enough and continues to buy me food and put out this controlling vibe he can finally get what he wants.

If I cant get medical care or seek.legal.council to see if I can sue for any part of what happened throughout this campaign then why would I stay in America.

All I will look forward to is a life of becoming obese like my mother and sickly.

Whoever is behind this in America has made it clear that they hate me and the amount of.citizens involved makes me realize that Americans generally dislike me and I will never get respect nor will the cause of TIs everywhere be taken seriously.

People keep telling me all the USA cares about is the "bottom line". Even phrasing it.this.way seems to validate the corporate culture who doesn't value human.life and who are not accountable.
War crimes are described as ' the bottom line'?

No one here can hold Bush and co. accountable for what theyve done...yet he isnt allowed in Switzerland due to warcrimes.

That means that outside the US I.may have legal footing.

As long as I stay in the United States I have nothing to.look forward to but homelessness, failing health and comtinued efforts to ensure I cannot write my book.
Theres nothing for me here. The Native population are the only thing worth staying for...and Im not Native.

It looks like I will never be allowed to seek legal justice here in the US.

Many people just want to keep me down, treat me like a joke or a sex worker, as if.thats all this is about. No one in the US wants to deal with the.issue of war crimes. And its.obvious.that anyone.associated with MK Ultra has been.smoked out during the Pres Advisory Committee On Human Radiation Experimentees then.after being.intimidated into silence, targeted for life.

I refuse to keep stsying somewhere that my assets as a person are being destroyed to.make me 'average' and.appear normal.then to force me.to attend UMass. All in order to.cover.up for programming and.other horrors connected to MK Ultra.

I keep being.held.down to the point where I become.vulnerable.then I being desperate for human companionship fall easily into the clutches of handlers.
These people ALWAYS have either statutory rape.charges they explain away as something else or. turn.out to.just.want to have.sex.with me.

It alwahs seems to.be to control me or as if its a performance.

I.am being continued to be reconditioned.to go.back.to adult entertainment.
I can tell thats what they are doing. They figure.if I am beat down enough kept down and.continually handled.by.people.who bring me.back.to a state of being used only for sex.it will destroy any.and all progress I.have.made or.any growth.as a.human being. They also seek.to.get an opposite reaction possibly where I get tired of being treated this way and become a.Christian and.forget about what happened.and.simply.attemd.college and go on quietly with some sort of.life.

I have been.told by handlers that I am going.to have to start all over agsin. The last guy i travelled with, a handler, said that the government was.trying.to provide some.kind of.normal life for Survivors...which of.course is more bullshit.

Its.amazing the amount.of people in on this who are.child molesters.or rapists or Johns. Its astounding.

None.of.these people, male or female, wants the truth told of.how adult entertainment is.run or how America works.

Leaving is the only option. I cant get medical care or legal council. I cant survive like that.

If Obama wins we.get more of the same. If Romney wins its.going to become like under Bush again. He already won Illinois.
The situation is hopeless here in the US. Why not leave and see if at least life is more enjoyable.and.being targeted is easier.

(new phone same model but.dicferent keyboard. horrible isnt.it?)