“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Ignorant People Think MC Slaves Are Spolied And Have So Much More Than They Do. Willful Ignorance

I am and always have been totally oppressed in American society. I am never able to be left alone or accepted here.

The older women here that did this act as if they think I am a spoiled type of person. Lots of older women have had this impression usually middle class types. One of the women my age thinks I am from a an upper middle class background like her. I come from turn of the century Third Waver immigrants from Europe who were sponsored to come here and be servants in rich homes. Except for the Eastern Europeans who were coal miners in Pennsylvania. And the Italian side is very secretive. "They arrived with money" is all the info I ever got. Then again that's the same side who kept telling me my grandfather was 'just a carpenter' his whole life yet I learned in his obituary he worked for Raytheon in what capacity I don't know.

My parents met in Harvard Sq Cambridge Ans my dad was setting up squat houses in the area, back then you could. And then I was in a foster home from 1-6 and then back with my mother on welfare going to school with kids from Mattapan and Roxbury (the ghetto, the old school ghetto-no affirmative action, no one cared. You were going to die there end of story or get pregnant early.) My mother worked nights as a bartender and I took care of myself-alot. I hardly saw her and when I did she simply dragged me along places like a doll or she bullied on me, whatever.

Then I went back to the Foster home so she could be with a rich boyfriend, then back with her she met my step dad, college educated moved out to Waltham then RI. His sanity prevailed until the evil that is my mothers family destroyed him as well as his drunk family and I left them to start facing each other so she couldn't blame it on me all the time. They divorced within 5 years as I predicted. Sadly they were both people trying to get away from messed up families to make a better life, never understnading you have to cut find mentors elsewhere.

Which I did throughout my 20s. Rotten criminal types who for all their faults treated me better than my family ever had, or at least compensated me well for mistreating me, something my family never did. And they were smarter, witty, and had artistic interesting friends. When I am targeted heavily during the day I am being brainwashed to miss my family and romanticize them and to turn to hatred concerning my old associates from my 20s in Boston. This is part of making someone into an average boring conformist type, family values all that. Lately its been edging closer and closer into my becoming a Christian. Perhaps staying in this area isnt a good idea after all.

But the truth is that the mentors I found in my twenties allowed me to explore and express all the natural qualities I possess by nature that makes stupid ignorant types percieve me as a person from the upper middle class or spoiled.

I have a work ethic which I learned from being around a greedy industrious WASP for years. Also that sometimes you have to spend money just to save a little time or give yourself a break. That oblivion has value. I was taught to stay professional and focused on work even though I may be in the middle of a drop down drag out cat fight with my work associate. THAT was a seperate issue.

I learned what whining griping self pitying self abusive Catholics could never understand: how to make money. How to control one's emotions. What's important to get upset about and that really, most of it isnt. That rich people are so f*cked up that the only difference is they actually have real reasons for caring what the neighbors think and hide effectively whereas middle class people or like my mother care out of being nuerotic and fail to do so effectively anyway.

And that paying off the people around you with money, friendship and diplomacy and genuine companionship is a way better tactic for controlling people than being a very stupid bully like my mother.

I was allowed to grow in ways my family never allowed. By nature I have carriage and am attractive but my ways that get me by were not learned from that family of mine.

Yet all these qualities and all this branching out ends up with a poor girl having no place among poor people. And for the most part, rich kids reject me becuz hey, I still have some ghetto ways.

Being targeted doesn't help me go through social circles to find where I belong so perhaps that's always been the reason I don't fit in anywhere here.

Then there's the issue of my rather eccentric coping mechanisms for dealing with programming as well as my background, which interestingly were never an issue until my programming started to break down and then that federal investigation. Suddenly I am 'a weirdo'. Believe me, the real 'weirdos' in Boston simply have the money to hide. That's all.
Besides I was set up for a breakdown all along. I was 'inconvenient' as I was told by a perp/informant.

Seems during Bush everyone made moves and moved up in the world and useful idiots were played to disguise these moves. Myself as an example. Yet everyone around me moved up in the world and if I try to claim it was a conspiracy or plot of evil design they will simply claim that I am mentally ill KS the true reason for my failure in life.

I am by no means spoiled. I've been exploited and kept down my entire life. I've never been allowed any freedom and all I can recall is people being mean to me or jealous or bullying or strangers insulting me or crazies always messing with me in public. I never realized I had been targeted my whole life.

My mother even admits there's harassment except she's so far gone she thinks its organized crime. She sited the Syndicate harassing her as an example of the gang stalking I was getting. She claimed it meant I should know my place.

Organized crime does NOT have access to the technologies that were being used in that apartment and if they do we really have a serious problem in the USA. What about the white vans and the black helicopters? Is that organized crime as well trying to get me to know my place? My mother doesn't even seem to be able to connect her status as a radiation experimented and MK Ultra with the circumstances of her life. She thinks its the Syndicate.
If that's so then why was she "followed" when she tried to attend and give testimony and class action sue at the President's Advisory Committee On Human Radiation Experiments in 1995? Was that also The Syndicate harassing her as well?

Give it a break, my family is such atypical mind control material. And the bad luck the females especially have is text book for mind control families. I notice that after my grandfather died, a pedophile that had the family fear bonded and under control all his life, that's when the gs system really became active. My mother took on this really evil persona and the system just came right after me in 2003. Something triggered in her after he died.
Something extremely evil.

I've never been allowed to genuinely have the same freedoms as most citizens so how am I spoiled.

This is what people are trying to tell you about Marilyn and Brittney and other mind controlled people. People you think are way prettier than you and have all this money. So you help their handlers mistreat them when the system decides to beat them down.
Many beautiful programmed women actually percieve themselves as very ugly- monsters even. The confidence you see is simply mirror reflections from inside the programming system. That persona is not what they feel about themselves inside. Often the true Self is captured even asleep since childhood.
Sadly they often come after you when you begin to really see yourself. Slave means SLAVE. Which means I am not allowed to enjoy my own beauty or use it under my own Will. I began to really see myself in mirrors when my programming broke down, not just get lost in them wondering who I was. These women often hide what they percieve as monsters behind statue like beauty. Its a deception to the public utlilizing self deceptions.

When I began to see and enjoy my own physical beauty that's when they really came after me as well. I have also been kept from that by the perps making me out to be vain or gazing into mirrors which I'm sure the public would percieve as self centeredness. Becuz they are totally ignorant, willfully it seems of mind control and how it works.

This system knows that if I made friends with the person in the mirror, if I were to decipher my own secrets like solving the mystery of the Sphinx that I would become self empowered. I would no longer be under their control nor the internal system's control. So not only did they take away my cacoon phase I was in, deter me from mirror gazing by gang staking and by guilting me for my actions as purely vain, but also destroyed my beauty so it would be guaranteed I would never appreciate myself fully, that I could never become empowered. And with enough constant guilt and humiliation I would hate myself.?

Friday, December 23, 2011

The Collective Delusion Of Law, Order, Just and Fairness

I don't think the system will be satisfied until we know our place. Until we realize we are just lowly expendables in a very big world.

Not that this is true but they will try to brainwash you to believe that. I recall one female who was part of a set up in a hospital west of Boston once said "THEY are mad at you because you aren't accepting your situation". My mother was the one who actually used the phrase know your place. She got me alone in the car per usual intimidation tactics. Then said of the harassment (which up until that time she kept claiming was due to the feds and local federal investigation, and that once they realized I didn't know anything they would leave me alone) "Back when I was dealing with the syndicate I always took the harassment to mean 'know your place bitch'".
Identifying with the aggressor is very common to females or anyone abused by sadism, sexual abuse and intimidation. She's also...I want to say she's an idiot but I know damn well that she's totally compartmentalized and programmed but kept under such tight control that she doesn't exhibit signs of breaking through programming. Helping destroy MY life was her one big chance to finally get out from under...or so she percieves.

Plenty of weak Willed, weak minded, sneaky cowards working with local scum, are endebted to this system. They are all usually unhappy losers and desperately want the Target to all be one too. Even if that is not our nature nor our destiny.

Usually they themselves are being controlled by family that are origins of abuse. Most of them are afraid to face the truth about their families as they are dependent on them for money support or resources. Most of the trust fund babies in Narcotics Anonymous back in Watertown/Brookline/Newton are who were in on the gs campaign during Bush against me all seem to have this problem.
The mob. The cowards. The ultimate losers.
Yet as long as they stick together they can live in a collective delusional reality that they are superior to a targeted Survivor like myself. Having money is only part if what's wrong with their heads. Many wealthy people are not that screwed up. I suspect these people live in a cult like existence due to they or their families are connected to organized pedophelia/child abuse rings, organized crime or connections to rogue intelligence agencies, military industrial complex or Isreali interests etc.

There was definitely a cult like situation. Its more than just the IN crowd. According to research and experiences by other Survivors of programming these people's families are dirty money. Its that simple. With connections or involvement with any of the aforementioned. Such people lack moral character to begin with-hmph, all they HAVE is their money and being in a tight group with other rich f*ck ups. Believe me I've seen it. NA was a joke there for anyone trying to grow without conforming to the sickness of American culture. The nature of NA is criminal compared to AA anyway becuz the minute you buy a drug to use you've already broken the law. You don't break any laws sitting on a bar stool or going to a liquor store.

Most of the people I encountered in my 20s who were career criminals and later in recovery, in NA trust fund kids were all rich but none were refined or striking beauties. And what you can't buy with the family's money you must destroy. And the shelter rats, the ghetto scum and the sadistic cops and violent aggressive by nature first responders are all too happy to assist them in that goal.

There is no cure for inferior people with more money power and connections than you. And with the law on their side there is little hope for justice.

TIs have seen more than anyone that we live in a fuedal system similar to the one during the Middle Ages.

Laws and justice are lies. Fairness doesn't exist. Its all lies. The existence of a judicial system is pointless and we see this more than ever during Bush. Just as no one tried the academics doctors and state actors behind MK Ultra for war crimes, no one is going to try that administration on its warcrimes. Just as there will never be justice for me.

I was shocked to see how many people were in on gang stalking and still are. To destroy a bright future as the one I had is the worst crime. But like typical Americans they will forget me and what they have done and simply go on to the next campaign like the next series on cable TV for their entertainment.

They are horrid unrefined losers who have more access and connections and don't have to admit their families are screwed up and are more than happy to destroy anyone pointing that out perhaps. And the powers that be fully support them as well as utilize them to their ends.

Their scum. And Boston/NY was the worst scum I've ever encountered.

There is no law no order. Just might makes right in human society. We live in a fuedal system especially evident now post 9-11 where our safety has been used as an excuse to enslave us further.

The only thing left for the oppressors to do is get the loose ends and knots ironed out. To ensure those of us who by our nature, should not be forced to be enslaved, do so as part of the totally false reality they have constructed using psychological warfare, torture and chemicals/technologies for mass mind control and the imprisonment of individual dissidents. People like me who refuse to 'know your place'.

What kind of bullshit*t is that anyway? 'Know your place'. 'Accept your situation'. As defined by who? Some faceless undefined yet omnipotent, overbearing oppressive power structure? Seriously go f*ck yourselves. We all know I was beautiful, highly intelligent and multi talented and after three decades of being kept down it was time foe me to grow and move forward. So part of knowing my place and acceptance is allowing myself to be beaten down and destroyed? To live with that?

This system is ridiculous and so are the morons involved. To think that by accepting their terms I myself become part of the system's oppression. Does that sound very appealing? It doesn't to me.

One of the most ludicrous memories I have is when in AZ early on one young snot gang stalking perp went for new lows by stopping in mid action (stalk/harass/psy ops) just to use my traumatized state as a possible in to get me to join them. "I can make it stop Rachel" and then telling me I would have a job where I traveled every month and get paid every three weeks.
This is parellel with what witnesses claim the FBI was doing to terror suspects. 'Since you're in trouble why not join us?'.

I also had some idiot cops in a car in St Louis area try that one. Intimating I was "In trouble".
Olnick has destroyed my health permanently with mold exposure, all my betrayers are criminals who have been exalted and everyone EXCEPT me should be in trouble. What is this bullshit??!!

But its not about making sense. Its about brainwashing and coercion. And no one is going to stop them becuz its tied into money important people and ensuring the public doesn't ever wake up to the reality of mass mind control. Ever.

(Cops often coerce people they think are screw ups from 'bad families' into all kinds of things. I am sure the desired results were for me to either join them finally or keep silent for life about what went on. I love cops becuz they are often overconfident in their power...and very readable. St Louis was horrid anyway. I didn't know Aquino had residence there and led a coven there of either COS or TOS. Too late now.)

Why people believe that we ever left the fuedal system or There is law and order I will never understand. Its impossible. There is no way the overlords of our society or any other, the rich powerful etc are going to allow that to be.

Being Heavily Tech Managed In New Location; Now Its About Making Nice

The place I am in is very 'managed' by tech. Its interesting to see how much the system has perfected and grown since the early days of the Iraq war, 9-11 and Bush. Becoming intensified during Hayden (late Bush early Obama) with much of the torture and feeling beaten within an inch of your life ceasing immediately as Obama got into office.

Its so detail oriented now, so subtle. Individuals as well as the nation have been so worn down that we don't notice it as much. As a TI I accept it as daily life and fight it as much as I can daily. Hourly.

This has always been the military's general attitude or any overbearing male oriented power structure trying to secure power. Take the Japanese comfort women for example. 60 times a day with men a lot bigger than your native men???! And the military attitude was that eventually they became used to their work. Eventually, they accepted it.

This prison we have been put into these behavior modification camps, unable to be seen by the untrained eye by the average person (who's either totally ignorant and unaware or purposefully avoiding the truth) has deprived many of us of years of living, accomplishment and our rights as American citizens: Life Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness.
Also being able to be all we could be by excelling- turning our raw talents into skills.

This has all been denied to people who are targeted as well as the American people generally.

We are now at a stage, at least I am so I assume many TIs are also where we are being lulled and managed in a kind of permanent semi sleep state. One where all our cares are managed for us by the constant companion. Its no longer practical to call this the gang stalking system becuz for many of us these later stages consist of being handled and managed with a constant supervision that is very probably tech. If its living human psychics then its still not stalking and harassment its more aptly named psychic supervision. Psychic nannying.

Maybe I will contact the forums or the TI communities and see if there is an apt description for this activity as gs just isn't appropriate.

Its constant too. The only thing that gives any relief is swift movement- traveling from place to place in a vehicle. Such as big trucks. However even parking in a truck stop for too long the system gets an exact fix on a Target. One can actually feel this remote influence lift when the truck is moved from that space where parked for an evening. It 'breaks' the influence. Its like moving in a room where the TV reception depends on where u r sitting or moving the antenna, for those of u old enough to remember or poor enough to understand what I am talking about.
Cell phones are not a good example becuz we can't see the static only hear it and its not that often. When it does occur we think of it as the other person is 'breaking up' on the other end. And unfortunately there aren't enough dead spots in cell phone reception...from a TI perspective I dearly wish there were.

What are TIs supposed to do? Leave normal civilization and go live somewhere that has primitive ways with plenty of relief from electromagnetic and microwave pollution? Which is exactly like exiling us or jailing us from normal society just as the system has done for years WITHIN mainstream American society utilizing technologies and human forces. (In person gang stalkers and harassers).

I suppose we could build a society outside of this one.

I am sick and tired of every thought being no monitored. Every sentence I go to write, then I get censored often.

Its all behavior modification.

I also suspect that they want to push this ideal for me to be very self sacrificing for 'the cause' by writing a book INSTEAD OF suing or using legal channels as well as such an expose would screw me out of any chance to sue due to incriminating myself or giving more material to discredit me. So its either I do the right thing for humanity or I do the right thing for myself.

The gs system is always putting these kinds of traps to Targets. It censors us and limits our options..most of all it keeps us silent and unable to take action by making a decision, due to the unanswerability of the riddle itself. It resembles a figure 8. Into eternity this thought process goes on and on becuz the brainwashing has convinced is that only two dual modes of action are available to us and neither one is quite good enough.

Especially Survivors of Ritual Abuse and mind control are managed with this kind of manipulation. Its becuz being treated as slaves all our lives we are used to double binds, tricks and having few options to begin with. We are raised with manipulations meant to maintain control over us. I recall my mother was expert at this. I could always see the cracks in it though.

My dream states are active again. Of course its all terror and being frightened or manipulated.
This morning I dreamed a certain person who helped my ex lavished platonic attentions on me. A lot of what has been going on lately has been a constant battering with material meant to make nice with me. The Bushes are my friends and support me in what I am doing. The jerks that helped Jake back home were actually rooting for me all along or are doing so now. Its a constant activity to shape and mold my attitudes towards my enemies. Typical psy ops. Peace making. Typical of wartime overseas ending. Now they want to neutralize not enemies but people like us Targets who can now be VICTIM WITNESSES to war crimes and other offenses. We have to be silenced and put to sleep forever becuz we can no longer practically be labeled enemies of the state etc that have to be neutralized.

They make it impossible to take legal action. They want to make sure we are all shut out from the legal system as we are shut out of society generally.
Forcing those of us who have adapted and survived to live double lives and appear nothing is wrong to 'normal' people is also a tactic to limit us in getting to the perpetrator(s). One can't put one's full energy and life force forward when one is existing partially in another reality.

These tricks of manipulation of the mind, time, spirit and human emotions are typical to Satanic activity or even magickal activity. The public however cannot make the connection. They do not equate things unseen (such as psy ops and covert activities that are all documented to exist and the public accept their existence as reality) in our reality with magickal practice. They have been taught that magick exists only in movies and stories..and perhaps maybe just maybe in voodoo or Wicca. But it will never affect them personally.
Illusionwoth--stage magicians, fill their lives with the perception that magic is simply cheap tricker its relatively harmless and meant to entertain only.

They are never taught the power of the mind especially in war. Beyond the mind. And imagine now with the added use of chemicals (chemtrails, flouride, etc) and technologies to aid the designers.

Most of all the public doesn't want to believe society is managed by such forces. And if it is, since its pretty good for them then YOU, the Targeted Individual must deserve your predicament and such a system must be working to keep them and society safe.

They are keeping people sick and stupid is what they have been doing and those of us who are a threat are exposed to just how far they will go to keep the truth from being believed. Its out there its just kept unpopular and in the realm of conspiracy theory- more use of the herd mentality AGAINST the herd themselves, so they stay in line.

There's been Truman Show Syndrome here depending on what room I go into. Each section of the building having a different affect and that is consistent.

THERE IS WI FI HERE AS WELL AS SATELLITE TV. That is going to make any location hard for a TI. The location I am in however affords some ability to fight back and maintain.

The Truman Show Syndrome is definately connected to technology but I can't tell if its WIfi specifically or satellite TV...or some combination? Everyone has a cell phone too.

As usual I am not in fear of my sanity being questioned due to my mother's experimentee status and evidence of such works as MINDWAR by Michael Aquino and the military as well as how many criminals I had around me my own mother included, all with motive to silence me permanently. I also did not realize how tied into the Military Industrial Complex Massachusetts was. And how disgusting and corrupt Harvard is.

Without marketing these realities out of the public eye they would have no chance of hiding what is obvious truth from them.

I notice that it takes special effort or reference point for me to recall the years past I had been targeted, how much of my youth, beauty and strength have been lost. I am kept in constant interface. To become used to the person I am now as normal. To be content with that. That is their goal.

To keep me from what I have been robbed of and should be comp

Monday, December 19, 2011

Last Post

ok I was mistaken about the train being unusually loud here in this location. A woman told me its always that loud.

Still I cant discern if years of conditioning caused this affect or if its from the use of sound triggers AND tech.

Could behavioral conditioning be that powerful?

Noise Campaigns That Result In Behavioral Conditioning Seem To Be Coupled With Suggestion Via Tech

one very common gs noise campaign tactic has always been the major train going by becomes unusually loud once the perps find out I am in the area and within ear shot. For some reason the train horn, overdone to be nothing more than noise pollution when used as part of a noise campaign, has the ability to really fuck with a TIs head. Its more than the result of long term behavioral conditioning or 'sensitizing' the Target to sound stimuli. It like certain other sound used on specific TIs goes right to the sex organs and actually causes sexual abuse on the TI. Yes it causes anxiety and also can affect the heart as much of the damage of a campaign is meant to.

Years ago I did not understand what I suspect now to be the case: that anything the perps do using human forces such as stalk or harass or make certain noises on purpose
HAS TO BE ACCOMPANIED BY THE USE OF TECH such as microwave, electromagnetic or other weapons listed in the tech section used commonly against TIs, that are documented to be able to cause dread, anxiety aggression fear etc in individual or groups of human beings. They would have to use this in unison with sound triggers. Or else I dare suggest good old fashoined psychics which do exist as a very nasty and hard to beat part of certain gs campaigns.

I have healed a bit from how deeply they had their hooks in me- how much control they had. Experiencing such a direct 'hit' in rape-like arousal feelings which translate into feeling being controlled by this system, should NOT be happening to me at this stage or with how free I have become from Pavlovian like conditioning.

Plus the ideations I got were of there being a very male presence associated with the train and even some vague picturing conductors etc. This goes along with how frequently employees of Amtrak and local commuter trains in states. (MA for instance) are directly involved with psychological warfare campaigns on a Targeted Individual. In fact they are some of the most arrogant, forward and excuse making perps I have ever encountered. They and the employees of Greyhound and local cities' transit are the absolute worst out of every kind of gang stalker there is. They have all the first responders beat. Unlike the first responders they dont carry any sense they are going against their job descriptions and 'doing harm'. Unlike sleaze bags who appear to be in gangs they dont suffer from that heavy vibe, guilt in the soul from crime or a sense of knowing your a total sleazebag or a sick sadistic piece of sh*t so you suffer through life and dont care anymore.

Public transit perps have a VERY smug little attitude or sense of being they throw off. It comes from it seems, existing in a group hidden beneath uniforms in public service, in a union yet never being suspected of corruption in the eyes of the public. They always laughed with a bit too much ease at their Target or used the person to get a cheap laugh getting out of work in their car, abusing the psychological warfare campaign for their own amusement. (These instsnces were not alaays males. Their shitty, traitor female counterparts are just as bad.And a million times more pathetic).

They always seemed to treat the TI like a stupid person being taken advantage of, an idiot, instead of a Survivor of mind control projects. Always made excuses for themselves without guilt and a bit too mu much ease...right to the TIs face, with a sense of never having to account for their actions.

If you read the history of the railroad industry in the USA it involves robber barons and much other legitimized scum. So why should the same attitude (and activities) not continue in modern times?

During Bush and under the excuse of war and anti terrorism these assh*les had themselves a field day- those days are over now.

And soon they will have to pay for every single minute thing each of them did.
Measure For Measure.
And with my nature and if I have any say in the matter....they will be crushed completely and vaporized as if they never existed in this world.
These totally flawed imperfect human animals should thank whatever they worship that I dont have any power to make that come true.

My point is be aware that much of the behavioral conditioning seems to be accompanied by remote influence.

Simple noise could not be so forcibly attached to an idea or concept without some form of brain washing.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Never Have To Go Home For The BS Days The Public Celebrate

On my way to a new location. Trying to find shelter for winter.

As usual I loathe Xmas and am going to do my best to ignore it. Ill probably volunteer somewhere, as that is a better use of one's time than hovering over gifts and tolerating family members one doesn't really like anyway.

One benefit of the gs campaign: I never have to deal with those selfish, arrogant stupid petty idiots again in my maternal family or those nasty nutjobs in my paternal family. Probably the greatest gift of all.

The Office Now Sucks

Gee The Office sucks since the 40 year old virgin left. His dead pan was brilliant. And that movie was the only amusing thing that came out that year.

I do like Dwight's character more than ever though.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Want Out

The guy I am still with , we r at his dads place. His dad smokes crack a few days a week. The bastard has the audacity to whine about us doing laundry at the late hour of 8pm. This white trash smokes so perhaps that is why he claims to be so tired by evening.
He then proclaimed he gets up at five a.m. and doesnt sleep all day.

My friend hasnt come to terms with his family being toxic yet and takes crap from his dad because he can depend on him but also he is going to get some land if he kisses their asses long enough.

Pretty hard for a kid whos mother rejected him and his father who he met later in life is his only family.

Ive already come to terms with my family being abusive, controlling idiots and I didnt let them frame me and I am not shedding tears over it, becuz they sent me out basically to die. While my cousin gets to become a genetic engineer even though I was as smart as her and more creative...and attractive. I get targeted into silence and all my betrayers go on to have nice productive lives.

This kid is afraid of what many of us are afraid of- telling our families and the system off and abandoning abusive controlling people. One of the cover stories that was used and may still be is that i am nuts from my mother being too controlling- usually that comes from people in on trying to get govt funding etc who know damn well I am targeted for other reasons.

We must always remember that as Targeted Survivors of mind control projects that a handler is always around the corner.

The main objective is always to get the Target especially female to settle down and forget what happened. This guy has been obsessed with getting me knocked up since day one. Hes even described it as somethinng else to focus on besides what happened and my activism. That is not normal.
I said I wanted an open relationship or at least one with those kinds of freedoms and hes acting like its monogamous.

The goal seems always to normalize the Target to bring them down and keep them down.

What I most notice about these times I am not being heavily targeted- the holidays, is that TIs are kept tormented daily with memories of what perps have done to us at the same time we are kept silent for years on end. Its almost impossible to write a book or do anything truly productive, to be remain logical, civil and sound anything but bitter and nasty.

Time goes on without you as you age year after year in homeless shelters or traveling and urban camping. Being female in America, older and traveling alone is shocking to Americans. In Europe its not unusual. I often wonder how many of us from third wavers immigrating here circa 1900s simply haven't lost our Europeaness enough to be beaten down into being 'American'. And if you're poor you're resented for it let me tell you. I suppose I should be held down by some control group like Italians in a neighborhood or family or Southie or something similar. Is this what the perps meant when they often told me that I am being targeted becuz I should "know my place"? In fact my own mother, the pathetic cow, told me that's what the harassment meant when she was dealing with the syndicate. Shed have done a lot better in life realizing she wasn't a badass. The syndicate...any crime organization is only allowed to exist by the kinds of people who create mind controlled slaves and are interested in MK Ultra.
I know my place: to expose this to the public and take down any and all enemies an eye for an eye. The former being my job and the latter being my privilege.

A woman in my position gets worn down and will take anyone that comes to seem like a stable protector. I need a helpmate a playmate and a bodyguard. Not a repeat of dealing with screwed up family members. This is why I don't deal with families or holidays, unless of course its non family oriented and fun like Halloween, birthdays and New Years. Xmas time is the absolute worst in the whole year. Humanity comes out of their stupidity to treat each other well and fairly when they should be attempting to build a reality where that is possible year round-when they aren't fighting of course over whatever monkeys with highly developed cerebrums fight over: dominance, greed, water, land, sex etc...all the same boring crap historically.

My mother used to dictate like this. It really was like living under a 6'1" shapely deep voiced tyrant, The Queen, who had this regimine for all that 'laying down our arms' as she put it was desired during the holidays and infighting and being competitive over petty BS was normal the rest of the year. Notice that no one but my cousin ever got anywhere in that family. I tried to explian it to my mother once: that sitting around infighting doesn't help get me into a college. That the family should be strong against outside invaders and to conquer the outside world not infighting and waste energy. Its probably a typically Italian way of thinking and my mother is far from that. Upon hearing that logic she seemed to consider it seriously and was surprised it made sense.

This is a person who is a result of a typical controlling family, one with secrets to hide and with parents who know she's got the goods on them so she has to be suppressed. Its also the norm for many Survivors of mind control projects to come from such families. I am still not sure how much the family of origin usually knows about the projects. Like how much of the cult mind control within the family would be from just natural defenses against the realities of abuse and how much is perpetrated especially for the mind control project itself.

Just as I always wondered how much does the public really know I have always been especially curious as to just how much my family knew. Are they also controlled and don't fully see their actions? Its hard to tell.

I don't want a repeat of that. This kid doesn't even realize his potential and he will probably never understand that becuz good old dad and family are going to tolerate him and maybe he'll get some land where dealing with life's challenges wont be an issue.
I've seen a lot of trust fund kids like this in my twenties and in Narcotics Anonymous later. People like my ex Jake, the same idea. Family will take care of you as long as you allow them control. Personally I'd rather live on a sidewalk and be dealing with some challenges like this becuz these people rarely grow. They never reach their potential, they are so lost they don't even realize they have any.

I want to get away from this man, but his affection for me has some sort of hold on me. Its solid and I don't like it.

And if you think I am weak in my inability to act you are correct. The gs system makes its Targets weak. And for a female TI their greatest end is to have someone like me finally controlled or looked after by some male of the species. My maternal aunt fell into this with a similar sort of man and I refuse to allow it to happen to me.

Kept Down Hard Lately

While I can I want to write some things I havent been able to due to being so repressed lately. This year has been awful.
I simply cannot maintain from the power within anymore from the focus of my own Will nor even my conviction as my path being the right thing to do.
Im crumbling. It feels as if the claims from tech savvy activists and TIs in our community are true; there is more tech now than during the Bush years to keep TIs subdued. It certainly has felt that way progressively.

This past Sunday where at first I felt the usual freedom of a Sunday from being targeted, I then felt a strong interface program with a specific Truman Show theme. (Truman Show Syndrome is whst psychiatrists use to describe an influx of patients coming to them in past few years all telling of experiencing circumstances that have convinced them thier lives are on display in a reality show, much like the movie of the same title. Obviously either Targets who dont understand its an entire system with a huge international network. They are stuck in the smoke and mirrors becuz they dont know how it works.)

Just becuz I understand intellectually that what I am experiencing is an illusion does not mean that I can stop it from affecting my mind. The system is far too strong now and my health has been compromised.

Interestingly I regularly experience this specific effect in only one room within the house I am staying in. (a friend's family has a mobile home in New Mexico where he wanted to stop off for Xmas). This effect only occurs in my friend's bedroom where we sleep. During the daytime.

This week was alot of beat down mentally. Basically the ideations are to not write my story and perpetual repeated suggestion that no one is going to believe me. Its really bad now. Denying me from taking action of any kind to defend myself legally.

Nerves are shot from years of this, high strung lately.

Improvememt may be due to holiday.

Monday, December 12, 2011

walmart san mateo Albuquerque NM harassed

Just got harassed by two of the most tacky black drag queens i have ever seen. Street hos have better fashoin sense than these two. long leather coats (predictable? also went out of style circa mid 90s) one had long fire engine red hair. big jackie-o type glases.

gee why inside of a McDonalds in a Walmart (san mateo Albuquerque NM) wud u need big dark glasses?
some customers were a bit too weird acting to be normal random people either.

ya THINK? gs is connected to sex and drug rings? eww. tasteless perps this time. theyd have to be selling it cheap bexuz they were disgusting.

security car stopped messing with me when i pulled out vid cam.


Sunday, December 11, 2011

White Pride Blog? Pt 3

Again the post just ceased allowing me to write further.
..I was finishing by expressing that Europeans had been taken from their pagan NATIVE cultures though the Middle Ages by terrorism. Do not let what is transpiring now finish off what is left of us and our cultures.

African culture may remind us of the freedom to dance that we had forgotten but don't become possessed by their culture. We are supposed to learn to coexist not become anybody's bitch.

White Pride Blog? Pt 2

Something happened to that blog post. I could still type but could no longer see what I was writing and I couldn't edit it either.

I've also looked at sites on White Nationalism and its most popular site is somewhat informative but many linked articles such as news etc seem to be reviewed subjectively by members. I have utilized that site as a way of seeking someplace safe when in the midst of an unfriendly environment.

I've also viewed more mindless, hate based sites. Though these are a safe way to view something negative instead of acting out negatively, they are in the end simply based on being as hateful and mocking as possible. Actually I've found some content that aligns with what I myself have experienced as a TI. I mean exactly my situation in one post.
Which hints at many in the TI community's suspicions that KKK factions of extremists are utilized in gs campaigns. I think the TI is marketed to them as an enemy so they are duped. Recall I posted that there was a crowd in Boston that was centered around my old associate Julia, the untouchable career criminal. That crowd seemed to be pushing the idea I was Jewish which makes for a good contrast with Julia and my ex Jake's WASPy blonde appearences. Also note my cousin has become what exemplifies my mother's family and she also fits this blonde ideal and seems to have abandoned Catholicism for Christianity. Jake and Julia have very Anglo last names also. Ironically, Jake gets his name from his maternal grandfather's last name being Jacobsen or Jacobs who was a Jew that converted due to social pressures in the Carolinas down south. And Julia has more Jews supporting her and her business than anyone can imagine. It was probably simply one of many psychological operations. Yet gullible people can actually be motivated by such a set up, which brings us to the example of cults being used and the CIA's interest in Jonestown and the Peoples Temple cult. Many of the groups that perform gs from my experience and also that of many TIs is that the peeps especially when its obvious they are in large groups, are cult mind controlled or 'brain washed' if you will.

What I have found are many people who are middle class to poor and white or from European ancestry who feel they are unrepresented in today's USA as well as being squeezed to death, out of existence by other ethnic groups either of their own class and other classes consisting of whites.

Interestingly many of the White Nationalists and Supremacists seem to be from working class or middle/upper middle class and resent other ethnic groups for taking jobs etc.

I resent the hell out of the watch dog group named Southern Poverty Law. Due to the fact that there are a disproportionate amount of WHITES in the south who live in poverty.

Live and let live is only appropriate when other groups and factions are allowing you to live by your own Will as well.
Race mixing seemed fine to me years ago when it was unpopular and rare- you really had to possession such tastes or 'color' and culture blindness as an INDIVIDUAL in order to be so bold. Then it became socially acceptable. Fine.

But instead of people being let alone to live and let live there are forces in this recent society emerging that are marketing race mixing and even using what comes under brainwashing tactics in media to force human beings into such behaviors. When race mixing becomes part of social engineering, especially with the NWO being put into place, one must question such actions just as we questioned segregation and NOT allowing race mixing.

Anything forced or conspired must be examined by the People because it certainly cannot be in the interest of freedom and liberty to brain wash human beings into one action or another, not allowing people to act upon their own Will or freely associate with other cultures.

There is a culture of shaming poor whites and (what is left of) our culture. We are expected to be sheepish and apologetic for our 'race' due to the actions of a different class that only betrays us by shaming us for our lack of status within a white world.

Something needs to exist to decondition those of European ancestry who are brain washed by media and society itself to be so ashamed of who and what they are that they feel compelled to seek refuge in YUPpie culture or in African American ghetto culture.
How many whites have you seen dressing up and acting Latino? Personally I'd prefer that because of the Spanish influence mingled with Native that is 'Hispanic' in and around the USA.

In fact that is how I see society being arranged by engineering not free and natural association nowadays. In my youth in the small city I lived in MA, blacks were kept out not by whites but by Puerto Ricans firstly and then as one went into town more it was Italian and Irish. Very blonde Irish. As these cultures associated minus African American influence, I noted that Puerto Ricans preferred to associate and be loyal to Italians moreso and resented the Irish slightly. I suppose based on looking somewhat similar, being olive with dark hair as well as sharing a Latin culture from Europe this urge makes sense.

What I see now are a lot of people basing their alliances not off similar cultural backgrounds but off of the falsehoods of the system's new groupings of ethnicity and, sadly off of actual shades of skin color.

People from China and other parts of the Orient actually buy into the idea that they are most bonded to people from India due to them being 'Asian'. When I was young the maps defined Asia as including Russia.
I being eastern European such as Lithuanian and Polish partially, see many facial features and other traits are shared with my ancestors with Russia and the Chinese and other parts of that region. I do not see this similarity with those from India.
I've seen sadly young people from India shunning whites and acting black believing their dark color itself will cause intimidation and fear if coupled with black ghetto behavior.

Many Latins outside of certain areas where they are competing.with blacks will immediately and blindly sympathize with African Americans without any cultural background similarities from the old countries.

Its always sad to see Chinese falling into the trap of ignorance the 'colored peoples' con. Simply due to their hue, they act black and associate with ghetto culture from blacks or Latinos without any consideration of cultural background.

If that does not appear to be the sad backlash or side effects of PC culture then you aren't seeing what's really going on.

Not all human being want to get along and live in peace. Some people prefer tribe, gangs or exclusivity. Also these groups may be reacting to the YUPpie culture also as well as the white elite rejecting them. In their ignornace they harm poor whites who are also if not moreso oppressed as themselves.

The poor white is expected to 'convert' to a less 'white' look and appearance to not be attacked by other ethnic groups of the same class.

And I say enough is enough. Sadly many whites are so weak, so subverted, so co-opted that they don't even realize what they are doing, that they are indeed reacting out of fear and self preservation...and sadly the long term effects of their actions on their own people.
This is due to lack of support. They are weakened and THAT state of being is what is supported by our society.

Any kind of sane approach to decedents of Europeans in the USA engaging in standing strong in their culture in an overt manner that directly calls out this society in its reverse racism and favoritism as well as designs against lower class whites, is received with hatred and accusations of racism or Nazism.

I think there are enough of us out there who are hip to being conned yet don't want to lower ourselves to engaging in totally mindless hatred of others simply because they aren't totally European in ancestry. Perhaps the powers that be as well as the social structure need to be reminded that live and let live.within the laws of the land are what is desired for true 'peace', not rearranging people to suit some agenda and causing more secretive hate and frustration than before. You can't bullwhip and nag people into getting along, it takes people understanding each other to coexist. And tolerating those in society that perhaps don't want to exist outside their tribe, race, group etc.

Something needs to be done to restore the folk and dispense with the limited and shalllow boring media stereotypes of what people of European ancestry are.

The Middle Ages burned and terrorized whites out of our strong relationship with nature and paganism unique to each country. Its why White People are afraid to dance. The burnings, the men in red cloaks, the Inquisitors, the tortures. We are now blanketed in one of three religions hailing from a Middle Eastern culture not our own. This had to be done by force over a few thousand years. Don'ttbi

White Pride Blog

I would like to start a pride blog, white pride but it sounds so ridiculous. Theres so much going on in my life and around me in the world other than being a Survivor of programming and being targeted.

As a TI I have seen a side to racism and sexism, to extremists that is very nasty and viscous. Part of the NWO ploy to enslave mankind seems to be to utlilize cultural and ethnic warfare to intimidate and oppress other cultures and ethnic groups so they will not take action against the real oppressors and enemies of their freedom and liberty.

I dont want to associate this blog or its author with that becuz there are many TIs who are of various races, religions etc. Its not fair to other people who suffer as any TI does.

However there is a cultural death going on of European and 'white' middle and lower class culture. Its being actually planned as part of the future of the world. We can see this in sneaky subtle statements from say, African American factions who word the genocide of white folk culture as vague statements such as "many peoples are not prepared for the future" or things that intimate that other cultures are going to destroy and eclipse European folk culture for lack of a better term for white culture that isnt the upper classes, whom have an easy time of defending themselves and if anything are utilizing these cultures against poor whites in order to ensure we dont revolt agsinst the NWO.

Reverse racism must stop and no Leftist Liberal mental gymnastics can be allowed to talk circles around the facts that people who are powerless and vulnerabe are being hurt in these class wars and the forming of a New World Order. Wealthy whites are going to have little trouble surviving and they cannot be depended on to assist poor whites in defending themselves. Being from Boston and Cambridge MA I can attest to how well to do types want to push Diversity, Equality and Political Correctness yet nightly go home to their upper class neighborhoods and do NOT have to live on the front lines of these class and race wars. In the social services system and homeless industry they serve as nothing more than babysitters and assist only to supress anyone not in line with the agenda.

Being targeted I have found that there are a number of people in the homeless industry since the late 90s who seem to have replaced all of the truly caring individuals who were true to helping people and social justice. What I have encountered post 9-11 are people working within this industry who are well aware there is an agenda and are only hired if they comply or are compatible to this new system. Its been infiltrated basically and I am sure that their hiring practices reflect that.

As a targeted person I have been shocked at the amount of people especially in places like Boston and Cambridge who work for day and night shelters that are unsympathetic to my situation or worse, seem to be in on mocking me. These are NOT the social services types I recall during Clinton. Harvard and MIT fund alot of the day shelters in Cambridge MA as well as Harvard grads are involved with running or founding such places. If you believe that a university that gets the largest endowment IN THE WORLD yearly is not corrupt or hooked into the elite's agenda you are very naive.
As I was. Being raised there I looked on at Harvard with awe and MIT with fear of setting foot inside. Harvard's gates are percieved as a sort of relfection of heaven on earth- and the cursed, common and poor are not allowed. But we should excel to compete just the same. This is what we learn back east. Ever since being grossly mistreated however I have taken pleasure in invading such places, nationwide if possible and utilizing their reseouces as I am able to. Becuz after the way they have behaved, they no longer deserve my respect and fearing them is a complete joke. Mostly becuz I know I could have excelled to such a level but was never allowed to.

There is a system in place that keeps people down, mostly victim witnesses to the abuses of the powerful in our country and internationally.

It used to be that poor whites and other ethnic groups shared this predicament. Since the late 80s however political correctness and other social engineering has been HIJACKED by the oppressors and raised entire generations to believe they are splintered and seperate from others in their own CLASS mostly based on race, religion and sexual preference. For someone my age, ethnic groups seem rearranged in an unnatural order.
Free association and ethnic natural urges or preferences have been subverted by engineered false divisions basically brainwashed into youth.

PC, Diversity etc actually cause racial and other forms of seperatism.
How much of the way many populations around the USA percieve each other are based on factual history or knowing their own ethnic backround from the country of origin? A false culture has been created and this is possible in America especially as the USA is not an ancient culture but a new country that has been defined by many different kinds of peoples. The problem is that we can be manipulated into working against each other as opposed to coexisting. Humans are naturally going to war and fight but the idea of NOT allowing people to express thier fears and grievances based upon a system of forced 'getting along' is a kind of imprisonment that is perpetual.

So people react with hate due to being told they cannot be afriad or express or show they are opressed or being treated unfairly. Lawlessness ensues and people disregard proper channels as they feel they are not even allowed to exist in such a society. Then of course whoever is designing such engineering to begin with utilizes covert forces and creates front groups or people claiming to represent the cause or oppressed population who will serve only to incite hate, intolerance, extremism and always attach other causes to the original concern to create a cult like organization.

These activities by provocateurs only serves to discredit the original cause and oppressed people, further alienating them from the mainstream.

An example of this is White Pride. Too often this gets entwined with White Power, Neo Nazis, the Nazi Party, White Separatists and groups that seem to include Christianity, anti-feminism and anti-gay sentiment into White Pride.

Just as many people percieved all Muslims as extremists during the early years after 9-11. Much of this was due to Americans not having a great familiarity with Muslim culture and religion to begin with.....as well as alot of propaganda by Isreal supporters who lean more towards Zionism.

Its as simple as different groups of humans fight and war or a powerful group desires something , a certain result and a vulnerable group is oppressed or left out unable to advocate for themselves.

In the issues of race, often whites of the same class are victimized by blacks due to blacks not being able to strike out at the whites in the upper classes who are actually doing the most injustice, as they do not mix with them in daily life as frequently. One can imagine this is desired by upper class whites as it lessens the chances of oppressed peoples grouping together and seeking to riot in their neighborhoods.

Here are a few sites I found:
Note the extremism in including anti-feminism, Christianity and anti-gay belief systems.
Not only does this exclude people who may be white and oppressed but it discredits the poor white plight and alienates such a cause from anyone in the mainstream understanding what that cause specifically is about.

I dont have any illusions about Hitler either. He was used by a group of powerful people to begin that war. Nothing to do with Hitler or that era should reflect on what is going on now. The last thing we need is ovens full of black or Mexicans or whoever. The entire genocide of Jews, gypsies (Romani peoples), Poles and homosexuals was clinically insane and an absolutely ridiculous method of 'solving' any problems social or economic presented by these groups present in German society.
That was also a very different time where people did not have personal technologies to acess information as today. The public were uneducated and Hitler's speeches made him akin to what in modern times would be a rock star, politically anyway. Much of what he did was based on mass hypnotism, personal magnetism and anima.

Genocides do happen in modern times but they arent marketed like African American slavery or genocide of Jews in WWII into the popular imagination , and they happen to people that do not have a any strong cultural foothold in the Western mainstream.
Foriegn countries that Westerners know little about and could care less about.
One of the most disturbing mass genocides, that of Native American populations, the full impact of which is basically ignored as a necessity of the survival of the United States Of America. To admit we exist on land illegally, where our own human rights concerns were ignored and treaties constantly broken, war crimes committed we could not exist.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

The sign of The Horns Used Indirectly

xThe fat greedy kid i am with keeps getting kick downs of money and food when i am not around.

Twice hes gotten two big burgers with sesame seeds and ranch in the bag. his preferred dipping sauce and i am allergic to sesame seeds.

hes gotten money and hidden it from me and I pretty much have to haul his ass around or at least get us going and take care of details.

I think either the perps are taking care of him or hes been getting sympathy by pointing out whst a controlling bitch i am yet no one sees that i got this way becuz he does really stupid things and that would jeopardize us traveling etc. i have to constantly ask him NOT to steal so i dont lose my road dog to the jail system.

hes either in on it from a perp level or hes manipulative and drives me nuts then gets sympathy from other men. It could also be that i dont realize.that due to my situation may be able to get away with alot with people turning a blind eye, but i dont test that theory by trying to do that but he may understand this more than i and know he can get away with bad behaviors like stealing simply becuz hes with me and i could probably get away with it too, which means hes just taking advantage of my situation and being able to be with a girl as well.

In the midst of me losing patience with him in a fast food place a few days ago, he happened to be on the phone. When he seemed really pushed he responded back to me with his hand in the sign of the horns -the devils sign. He has also done this to people once or twice in Albuquerque, and they were NOT close deaf friends of his and I highly doubt if he or they are Texas Longhorn fans.

A person does not use that hand sign lightly. Nor by mistake.
I being an actual RA survivor where there was some small amount of Satanic content, have never used that hand sign unconsciously or intentionally. I used it once in front.of a security camera years ago when I was still being harassed daily and very hard. I think I started to become brainwashed by just years of this activity. After i slipped like that I had a nice.long re evaluation of my inner world, Self and re established what was truth for me not giving in to years of being terrorized and confused.

I never found that hand sign comfortable even back when it was just something done at rock concerts etc. It was fine for others but I had no use for it. Just like LaVeys work or anything Satanic on that level.
There is something covert and hidden when it comes to people who experience Ritual Abuse or any Satanic content where high level programming is concerned.
Yer pretty much trained to not reveal your position or should I say disposition at anytime.
A person can do good works in the human world and still have a portion of Satanic programming. One simply uses it as a point of reference for fixing what wrong is done in the world by such forces; its akin to becoming a cop and being very effective becuz your family were criminals, something like that.
But becuz Christians believe not in good works but in their Saviour, many people often want to completely get rid of or erase a Survivor's progrsmming of that nature altogether. It could also be done this way so that the darker forces can completely neutralize a potential threat forever.

For him to use that hand signal is either a mind game or he is involved in such things with or without his own knowledge. I dont trust anyone who uses that sign not in conversation or at all.
The only people I do trust using that hand signal are Satanists themselves as its pretty straight forward where they stand.

I absolutely hate common people doing it either to be cool, as a mind f*ck or unconsciously. Its..weak.

One woman, Patricia an older woman I started to associate with last year seemed nice at first. I spent some time with her and noted she used that hand gesture in conversation. Red flag!
She eventually told me that in San Francisco during the late 60s she had gone into the Church Of Satan, thought it was ridiculous and left sometime afterwards. Yet her behavior I experienced was at times secretive, deceptive and I probably shouldnt have trusted her.

I dont think its the overt Satanists in this world that wear my nerves out. Its the foolish buffoons who think they are in control and know whats going on in the world but have no idea what influences their own behavior or shapes the events of our world.

In Crowd May Be Smarter Than They Appear...Not Really Just In The Cult

Wow! I just read an extremely nasty post concerning someone semi famous. Though it contained limited grammar it was a nasty little rant. I wont get into who it was exactly but I often read up on connections- people associated with people connected to those who were close to me that betrayed me or were in on the gs campaign. Due to the fact that many are in entertainment due to my ex and my former associates it can get pretty juicy..and sad I suppose.

One phrase I did not like that I read was a poster refering.to this.person as "a bitter washed up delusional whore". What strikes me is that the gs system so often tries to turn many 'expendable' women into just that- and its done quite purposefully.

Reading this I pondered if that is basically what is meant for me as an ending. A basic description of what I have become if only in the eyes of the public, or the 'In' crowd if you will that is aware of what is going on.

This may have worked..sigh, if only it werent for the fact that my mother is a documented radiation experimentee connected to MK Ultra and a number of other factors that make putting me in this category just a bit...inconvenient for the 'In' crowd.

I dont even think theyre In, I think they are alot of them have all the isms of mind control victims on some level and they dont have the brains or balls to face it.

Sure Im bitter who wouldnt be? Taking war crimes and turning them into games for spoilt rotten tacky rich f*cks or whoever else would make any thinking person frustrated. And using fun and obvious cover stories to block out such serious issues is pretty embittering to the victims.

I suplose this, yet another cover story level of reality, is meant to discredit whoever dares tell any truths about mind control, MK Ultra or covert operstions domestically. I believe I am a bit past the phase where I can be written off so easily. Phone records would prove my mother was going to go to that advisory committee in the 90s and her parents are surely listed as both being US Marines as well as her treatment at the Naval Hospital as an infant. And all my claims or things I write about are either able to be proven or feasible.

My story from its unraveling over the years resembles a text book case of an atypical Survivor of high level programming as well as RA. I am certainly targeted and it appears to be intergenerational.

Its going to be attempted to claim that I took from other Survivors stories and made mine up-that Im lying. Yet all my computer activity over the years as well as THE WAY my discovering my situation has unraveled on these blogs shows clearly that there is much I was unaware of- tht only later I realized was similar or typical of all Survivors of programming.

Its easy to be innocent about being embroiled in intrigue when one is only working from the inside out, only telling what one experiences from within. I had no other reference other than my own experiences. Why anyone would think you can frame someone with lies when that person is basically blind deaf and dumb to what is going on around them makes little sense.

But that is the difference between people focusing on purely what goes on superficially and what really goes on behind it all.

Unless of course I am naive..I missed something. Like that the In crowd is alot more sinister than they appear and there are connections to people much more destructive and evil than one may want to let on to.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Burn Notice Still Sucks...

Nothing like continuing to mirror so much of Targeted Survivor's situations through the television.
"You know why you have to be everyone's white knight? Because you think it will make you safe at home".

Nothing like rubbing our faces in it, that we won't ever be safe at home. And some of us are helpful by nature...as before our lives were destroyed we wanted to help people for a living. Most likely, helping people is a way to constantly get back at an unfair, screwed up rigged system.

BURN NOTICE, COVERT AFFAIRS, BOURNE, even THE DOLL HOUSE its all so obnoxious to anyone having to deal with any of this in real life. They just through it right it your face that no one is going to believe you and the public only believes these things happen in the movies.

Trying To Avoid Recent Traps..Tired and Faultering

the guy i have been traveling with has gotten a dangerous level of control mostly based on me needing him for companionship during travel. I thought I could control the situation but I became dependent on his being present all the time.

Hes slipped a few times and in the midst of arguing (usually over him frustrating me by being a lazy mooch and stealing) he has slipped and said things about karma or changed the subject by asking me to talk about what I did for work in my twenties. Hes a.handler of some kind or he is one of these men who believes I deserve some sort of punishment for my past. Whats interesting is that his presence in my life has worn down my ability to do my work.

The red flag has been that he is unsypathetic to what I have been through yet he seems to know what gs consists of.

Ive become tired and worn down...and brainwashing programs over many years are starting to take hold. The reason for this is becuz of failing health and an inability to express or feel my aggression. Natural aggression and that which is present from what was done to me (gang stalking).

At this point I am attaching myself to people like him bexuz I cannot
continue as I have for years. Much of my internal feeling is now based on fear. This fear is now so deep seated from years of being harassed that I now function off of this state of being and its beginning to define who I am and the decisions I make.

I now undwrstand why they isolate Targets from thier families. So that we stop rebelling against what was done to them to get them under control.
This man I am traveling with is very much like my maternal aunt's husband. She was sucked into a marriage with such a man and hes basically her handler.

Hes also a pervert and a pot dealer. Hes the one whos pot clients are these types with heavy jobs for govt or my uncle introducing me to that guy whos targeted by the CIA years ago.

I know this route too well. This system keeps sending perverts and more fucked up people to be a part of the Target's life becuz they figure the Target will eventually become worn down and settle for something familiar. Also becuz their screwed up families have been ripped from them so abruptly and horribly there is an element of missing one's family. This can be manipulated by the system so that the Target may fall for something familiar as such...when if undisturbed, the Survivor would have moved beyond such people and dysfunction in relationships.

It is indeed mindblowing how virtually an entire country or a huge network can be in on keeping.just one person down so that they either return to thier old lifestyle or they never grow to be a better person.

In a country that prides itself on human rights it cannot guarantee such simple rights to US citizens domestically who are homeless, mentally ill, handicapped, elderly, poor, or victims like myself. DOMESTICALLY. Why is this so within the borders of the United States?

What staying in the US I have a somehow safer screwed up life being tortured constantly than going someplace else?

No matter what is wrong with me health wise like say damage from mold exposure or parasitic disease or whatever else could be present I am only that sick physically becuz I have been denied medical care over many years. That is part of gs. And I dont deserve this. Whatever part my family played whether they were threatened or simply greedy, its been especially hard to have had them turn on me as well as the community and multiple communities across the USA.

The one thing I cant figure out is if my mother is the original radiation experimentee connected to MK Ultra then why would she turn on me when that is why we are targeted? Is this all so overwhelming that she simply cannot face that her being 'followed' after trying to testify at the Clintons Advisory Committee in 95 is just the tip of the iceburg? How can anyone be THAT stupid? Shes compartmentalized I knew that and shes been targeted for years. So she simply caved in probably.

They dont give you much to hold onto and they keep sending ghosts and shadows hoping youll grab onto something to believe in....like a stupid scared child. And hopefully at some point youll give in to psychological pressure and fall into a preplanned rut seeking comfort. Just like various family members before you have. All so tired and scared that they finally found a deal to be made so lying to themselves finally is a comfortable way of life.

They basically csnt stand anyone who breaks programming and starts to grow and make thier own decisions so theyd rather destroy you or get you back into a control situation. One resembling any number of miserable lives that other Targeted people have settled for.

I know what they are doing. They think failing health and age and years of homelessness is going to make me begin to cave in like my mother. Also this is why they handle you so you dont suicide-so youll be behavior modified instead and appear ever so average in society. Its planned that one day all the rightful anger you have from being harmed and your life destroyed will fade if you are tortured, invalidated, denied, ignored and kept down long enough. Then with destroying anything and all that is exemplary about you- talent, looks, intelligence etc you will then 'settle' for a life that makes it appear nothing out of the ordinary EVER happened to you. Along with this, somehow you the Target accept everything youve ever been accused of. You appear to be at peace with your past and what has occurred.

This of course gives the public and all the offenders a happy ending, provides all people who believe cover stories about you with the appearance that you somehow accept being targeted becuz you deserved it. And it gives the system an out becuz you werent 'murdered' and thier human rights phallacy can be backed up then. In the age of non lethal weapons which of course are lethal if misused or abused people like the neat and clean APPEARANCE of no one being hurt. A Survivors internal programming is manipulated very carefully and actions against us are covered up so that it never appears we have been tortured horribly. They know we csn be handled while being traumatized so that we smile and act normally-we form alters to cover up whsts really happening. They provoke this probably by the threats in the beginnng of being labeled mentally ill or no one will believe is etc forces us to 'not tell' and conceal that we are being gsng stalked and tortured with weapons and tech etc.

This silence and acting as if nothing is wrong probably makes the people who believe the cover stories feel it supports thier views of the Target as being guilty of Whatever and deserving such long term misery.

As long as I stay in the USA I will never be left alone long enough to even get the right lawyer. Even to try to sue the FBI or the courts or my own mother or the cops is impossible with constant gang stalking. Ive been silenced and Ive been discredited and marginalized and no one is going to allow me to get back out.of this coffin they have buried me in.

If my old junkie friend Brian was telling the truth and not mistaken my own mother perhaps went to auhorities on my behalf and it seems like that was the result of a deal or a payoff. I was probably never given a subpeona becuz it was preplanned to discredit me first as mentally ill so I could not testify. Since my mother was hiding money under my name and this might be why feds or idiot local cops thought I had money from Julia or Jakes drug dealing, she used her other influence and connections to get a deal where she covers her own crooked lawsuits snd using my name way past the age of 18 (identity theft) helps to make me crazy and support the bogus claim I am indeed mentally ill. Its especially easy becuz of Danny, my fathers status. Yet all he did was basically claim he was being targeted due to my mother's family's involvement in MK Ultra. Also he didnt self talk as a coping or therapy mec hanism- that is something my maternal grandmother does.

Its interesting that when I was exhibiting behaviors similar to my maternal relations my sanity was never in question or dared to be questioned. Only when I was harassed and followed and gaslighted suddenly my maternal family decided to turn on me using an excuse of something my father suffers from.

Also I have noticed waayy too many people are involved with this as if it were a good book or entertainment. Perps have brought up similar stories and talked of eroticism involved with drama etc, knowing damn well that this is real life for me not a story.

That is your real America. A place so brainwashed, so sick, so unable to face itself that human rights abuses are meaningless when it comes to a person like me being used as a luxury.

Kurt Cobain may have been a prohramming or mind control Survivor also no one knows for sure, but he certainly died for his work as a dissident; he got too close to the truth: "Here we are. now/entertain us".

This is the great America, that is so concerned with human rights world wide. And dont think total jerks frok other countries arent in on taking this all in either, as entertainment or for whatever purpose.

America is a lie. The powers that enslave man have taken over all across the globe even in the most admired countries. Scandinavian is electromagnetically polluted just like anywhere else and big pharma and psychiatry exist there as well.

The whole world is being decieved by the factions being utilized to enslave mankind.
I suppose that enslavement isnt so unattractive to the public when you give them a chance to be the enslavers or give them the feeling they are. Its as if someone started givng away or selling stock in hell. Yes, you too miss or mr NOBODY can now be 'evil' and feel the power feel that burn. You dont have to be the victims if you are a perp, right??

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Female Abuse Of Power?/ The Dark Herd

All this time I have been focusing on men being the main source of abusing power. What if its ultimately a woman I should be looking for or realizing that's who's behind this? A female perhaps in law enforcement or military or some other power position. Someone like my mother: jealous to the point of psychopathic and petty...also favoring men over women or protecting someone male.

There are a lot of females in on this that already fit that description anyway: Jake's mother couldn't stop blaming me for her sons reactions instead of taking responsibility for her upbringing of him, Julia, my mother and other females in my maternal as well as paternal families. My mother especially stands out. How can someone so NOBODY in the world have so much influence? She has bragged before about ruining lives of people who displeased her in some way, so obviously she is into the power tripping in a gs campaign. But in my situation she seemed ultimately more afraid and intimidated to act as she did as opposed to her getting revenge on someone. My mothers family is screwed up anyway-anyone who harbors a severe and violent pedophile like her father for as long as they did are not very in touch with reality and they are no good. My cousin can provide all the whitewash they want, you can't change the past nor the truth. And that includes her police connections through that idiot detective who's my grandmothers nephew or whatever he is. Waltham has always been screwed up and nothing has changed much. Along with Brighton, Watertown and Newton these cities in that area continue to behave as if its the old days and such places can remain insular and cut off from the system at large, doing whatever they please.

Other females as well seemed quite pleased with the results of this long term campaign as of my last visit to Boston area. A few rich bitches from the NA trust fund crowd come to mind.

Exactly who do these people think they are? They actually believe that just becuz an extremely large network of screwed up people take part in destroying ONE individual nationwide that somehow its going to be final, that its going to stick. That they will never pay for what they did.

All this does is prove that America is a huge sick piece of sh*t like the rest of the world claims. And a lot of people were in on terrorizing me and either laughing about it or being arrogant about it. Powertripping. Americans think they have a right to do anything to anyone just becuz they can't get spoiled rotten anymore becuz thier jobs don't "pay like they used to".

The real reason America seeks to destroy countries that have any real spirituality like India, Islamic countries or other developing nations or native cultures is becuz the people in these cultures aren't as geared towards the childishness, greed and snobbishness of Westerners. Young people from India are now absolutely unbearable snobs or greedy and judgemental like Americans. Their native spirituality is dead. And its been done by getting them into successful western fields like tech. The older or more traditional women are always kind to me and due to Eve Teasing I think they sense they are looking at oppression when they see me begging and don't judge as harshly as some female jerk from MIT.

The system in America has now made it basically mandatory to support covert ops and warfare against individuals if not entire groups in order to get what people want. All this is doing is bringing out the worst in humans.

We have seen this in East Germany, that the common people KNEW what was happening and they went along anyway, in order to live normally or gain favor. The interviews taken from such people show that they knew what was transpiring but did what they had to to please the authority figure so they may have as someone else is forced to have not.

I think the basic difference in peoples is that some humans find this unacceptable and others will go along to get what they want. Its probably as simple as genes. Which is why there are records of dissidents children being kept down in East Germany simply becuz they were too much like the offending parent.

This lion heart gene if you will probably decides who will say no to something like this and who will do what corrupt authority wants regardless of what the individual thinks. Also many humans seem to take to mobbing someone quite naturally which again is difference in make up.

Why people would do something like that for money instead of other crimes I don't understand. Strangely, its real career criminals who have felt most guilty about me being mobbed and always drop infomation-perhaps they also understand that many 'normal' people who would never commit crimes such as they do are more than willing to take part in mobbing someone.

Its still mind blowing to have experienced the behavior of so many individuals across the United States taking part in organized stalking and harassment, all usually with little smiles on their faces.

It strikes me that so many people in everyday average jobs with that much bad character and capacity for being involved in covert ops makes for an overall very screwed up, bad country full of scumbags. Which is why American citizens like me are discredited as mentally ill and or deserving of this treatment....becuz my case, my telling what was done to me makes every single terrorist sound validated. Every single foriegn critic of American lifestyle, the country, its government and the people itself is completely right in their assessment of the United States. Just scum, under cover. Hiding. Pretending.

And the beloved people of this country didn't care who was behind my being targeted or what they represent- only how much they paid or what they could get out it...becuz those jobs just don't pay the way they used to, or in order to take their careers further they needed that very hard to get grant money.

The public who are told gs doesn't exist don't understand why everyone world wide hates us. Its becuz the Guy next to you or your coworker might be a piece of shit who thinks somewhere in his or her little skull that they are smarter than you. They imagine themselves as stealth and in on something secretive and deliciously wrong. They want to be like criminals or Satanists but simply don't possess the real intelligence, skill or backbone to do it for real, so, like going to the movies which is their basic level of maturity, they take part in something passive, where they can be part of a crowd hiding in the dark. With ushers to protect them.

They fancy themselves part of a dark herd but keep in mind they are still a herd. Not a real extreme cult, not a special forces group but simply sheep-gone rabid.

They possess not the talent smarts nor skill to be on either side of the crime/law axis. They are the disgusting sort of American that, for example gets into bogus lawsuits becuz.its popular in the 80s and their excuse is "I wont get caught becuz everyone is doing it". And they are extremely afraid of official authority: they need to see that the law is either approving.of it or turning a blind eye. They are worse than criminals- they are The People. This is what Machiavelli warned of. That in the end, the hearts of men are black.

Yet during the Bush era it was more a case of men and women being easily controlled mere animals, being put to work by a tyrannical administration who were simply representing the special interests of a world wide elite.
And the same goes on under the Kenyan Harvard grad except you're not supposed to notice it for what it is and you get a cut in wages...and a lollipop from this more kinder gentler continuation of the same insanity.
Hmmm....kinder gentler. Now who do we recall that coming from in years past. Hmph, someone has a taste for assault then being kind.to the wounded victim.

Hmph just like a mindless ape, after attacking and crushing the skull of a rival ape's child the ape will attempt to put the skull back together lovingly and rock the dead baby, gently.

We are dealing with animals. And the mind control in place has the ability to control human animals completely. So much for Bush's (insane) dream of no longer going by the law of the jungle. Its simply the law by mind control now IN THE SAME HUMAN JUNGLE. This f*cker doesn't want true peace or humanism or people understanding one another, he and his want control. End of story.

Yet, its not the extreme people involved in this that make me sick....its the American public. At least the evil criminal geniuses are geniuses. When I run hundreds of memories over and over of years of gs and see their faces and the settings...it is overwhelming but yet it makes sense..its what I have always known. That your average person cannot tell between right and wrong and is greedy and stupid to such a fault in this country and they are inferior. Its that simple.

And without my believing there are some good folk out there who either don't
know what's going on or are targeted I would be inclined to agree with the elite .

Is it really Bush...seriously ? Or is he and his family fronting or being scapegoat ed for other forces in this country or world wide? Whoever helped my ex, his buddies are very close to the actual source..cmon the mafia Cannot be that goddamned powerful not on its own.
k know't

Slept In Trailer, Mental and Emotional Effects Lessened

Slept in trailer last night. Whats interesting about it was that being contained within most of the mental confusion, anxiety and constant interface ceased. I believe its simply wood and metal. It could be that no windows is a factor or that false environments like stores part of thier creation is pumping mind control out through either the backround music playing or seperately through a wifi system.

I know that I experience being very interfaced with when I enter a Walmart or Target for instance and all grocery stores. Then upon exiting that specific influence whatever its content was ceases upon exiting. Perhaps it could also be cell phones collectively in a contained large space and or along with whatever influence comes from wifi or speakers overhead. Now I think about it that might be creating an electromagnetic nightmare within an enclosed space like stores. However its not just happenstance since I have experienced outright gang stalking in many chains like Walmart and Target. Not necessarily grocery stores though it depends on where or the chain. Whole Foods for instance was a total nightmare during Bush. Yet now when I go in there I dont get gs and the remote influence consists of something similar to what I experience in Walgreens: thst what was done is wrong and I should seek justice get lawyers etc. Alot of sympathetic content. But it has little effect becuz its only for a short time compared to how negative and confusion making the influence is generally outside.

And I am outside most of the day and night.

Its no surprise that the powers that be have made it harder for homeless people to stay inside anywhere that isnt specifically managed for them like shelters. Places that would block microwave signal like underground in train stations or in certain buildings for instance. All one has to do is drive selected Targets into homelessness, discredit them and its easy to completely destroy them from there or behavior modify them as outlined in Aquino's MINDWAR paper.

I did however experience one harassment that was specific in content yet I was able to Will this away, counter it. The thing thst was striking about it was thst it was singular, there seemed to be little else present in the environment.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Still Loathe Cena

One of life's greatest pleasures is going to be watching John Cena grow old and frail. Weak, shriveled and finally lose his eyesight. Believe me when I tell you he, and others in WWF are involved in gs and media psy ops. Wrestling must be mafia hooked up, related to hooking and stripping. Just entertainment business as usual I suppose. Pandering to American family values while flashing the horns...isnt he just so clever. The Marines never produced anything so vile..except MAYBE for those radiation experiments and being connected to MK Ultra...well outside of war being generally violent and ugly to begin with.

A Day Of TV Gets Repetitive..Mossad Ad Naseum

Having to watch NCIS or whatever it is. Beautiful Spainard playing Mossad agent.
An entire day of bs kissing up to Mossad. Its enough to make you ill. I love the disinfo about the terrorists. Its like hours of Muslim terrorist related television.

Im sick of the Middle East in Hollywood, I am sick of it in American lives. All they do is argue, their love of bartering shows their love of argument.

Lets leave them all behind one day soon. All the Abrahamic religions, wall them all off, abandon them forget them, leave them to argue with one another ad infinitum off in another time and space. And lets get back to our lives, lets go back to OUR ancestors. No longer be influenced by THEIRS.

A country so small thousands of miles away has so much influence..by the ways of ancient smoke and mirrors still so effective to this day. And the most creative and brutally violent temper tantrums to force thier Will to be met as a people and a nation.

Hollywood being the absolute worst example besides NYC of at least one Abrahamic influenced culture.

Its impressive the beauty and control...the perfection of the Spanish actresses face. The stone Will. Something usually not allowed to be seen by the American public on the screen.
Its a quality more available to be viewed in foriegn films. European faces, cultures.

Not allowed in Hollywood produced media-for such an ancient, cultivated classical standard of beauty provides too much competition to....er, Hollywood 'sameness' of look and style.

Communism is Russian and Jews brought it with them decades ago. Its being used to dismantle and destroy classical culture and art and a standard of perfection that personifies Europe.

Equality, PC and Diversity not only creates racial cold war but demands that all bow to these standards but curiously one still witnesses Rabbis telling large groups of boys that they must marry Jewish girls or their mothers will break their legs. Not very PC is it?

Its time not to scapegoat the Jew nor single out the rich nor blame the blacks: its time to call EVERYONE on thier sh*t and realize that hypocrites exist everywhere and exclusivity exists alongside forcing others into false systems of 'equality' and 'diversity'.

Its about time to dispense with a system that blinds humans with foriegn religions, intimidation, falsehoods about cultures and peoples as well as uses various lies and misconceptions as social control-often with life long effectiveness.
Both leaving out information and lying.
No matter how good the acting, one can still catch within the eye, hatred, weakness and attachment to only myth. The myth of a monotheistic god that favors one people. The myths of the other two religions... in the end all there is human beings treating each other humanely in any given situation or not. Things being done out of greed or desperation. The odd thing is that this organization should be involved in being against Nazi activities or anything rooted in such things. Yet Mossad as well as Isreal is pretty friendly with the USA. Project Paperclip made no impression? Each time I look at this it makes conspiracy theories about Zionists funding Nazis seem plausible. If that is not so then who is responsible? Just the elite of all cultures bonding together to enslave mankind, utilizing progress in technologies coupled with chemical and psychological warfare??? r

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Need New Companion

I need a new traveling companion. Due to my situation I can only get screw ups and opportunists. Then I end up having extra stress on top of being targeted and the perps get more witnesses and video of me freaking out or being a bitch.

I need someone close to my age and someone who is serious about doing gs activism as well as mind control. Who supports me writing my book. The person I am with now is loyal but they are lazy and a food addict. They claim to be targeted but don't seem to treat being a Target like a life or death situation.

Also they are into Hollywood movies. Anyone who was truly targeted would have shun mainstream media long ago. Hollywood has hurt myself and other TIs very deeply. After going through that why would anyone want to view an American movie? A main theme of gs is betrayal. Its to make the person feel their entire culture has turned against them. The people and things they trusted most or were supposed to depend on. Thier fire dept, police, ambulance personnel, people who work in hospitals, respected colleges and universities, churches. Not just authorities but the culture they have come to know as familiar such as media or even favorite music or performers in arts.

They definitely turn the basic foundation you are used to against you like percieving the aforesaid mentioned cannot be trusted but then they find out what the Target likes specifically such as music, TV shows, performers etc and manipulate things so that the Target will percieve that those things have somehow been taken from them. Anyone in the entertainment industry involved in Satanic practice, pedophelia, heavy prostitution or simply enjoys messing with people or destroying peoples lives (or women) will be quite ready to comply with doing whatever it takes to assist in destroying the Target or driving them nuts.

I need someone who understands how infiltrated mass media is. I hate American cinema not just for its constant sameness and its constant casting of the same tired Eastern European/Russian-German faces, DNA picked up by Jews over the centuries (I am Polish and Lithuanian partly and am SICK of looking at my nose, eye shape and facial bones and forehead over and over and over and over...33.333333 ad naseum. I need to view new facial shapes and varying ethnicities. American cinema provides a high number of new releases with the same formulas. Can't stand it anymore.
Its awful.

Needless to say with that I want to get out of America, especially if Romney gets in and go to Europe. Not that its any better there for being Targeted but its at least not giving the bastards here the satisfaction of having me here.

I work hard on the road as a poor traveler. I need someone just as serious about survival. I am too frazzled to learn about living off the grid completely but maybe after my book is done or at least my story exposed somewhere.

I also want someone who genuinely enjoys being a houseless traveler. But remembering that this is only out of necessity: in actuality there is a very important war we are fighting and THAT is what takes presidence. The NWO isn't going to go away becuz we are having fun on the road.

Any REAL TI knows that laziness and stupidity will get you killed. Being worn down and tired is understandable. I am efficient and try to plan things out but with little experience I make a lot of mistakes. This is not a war we can afford to lose. I need somone who understands that giving in just a bit means suicide as the only way out and that is unacceptable to me-until my story is written and put somewhere that people can see it. Letting go just a bit on self discipline means falling completely into the worst reactions to being tortured for so many years.

For me none of this is acceptable- all systems must be kept up to peek performance until the mission is completed, then and ONLY then can systems be shut down. This means functioning outside of society as well as not allowing anything threatening IN. This means getting up in the morning, staying fit, eating properly, training the mind and the reactions to deal with constant psychological warfare and not allowing complacency in areas where there is a lull in the attacks. This means getting rest and staying healthy, being frugal and taking care of hygiene. It means looking pulled together even when by rights you should not. Versatility.

The whole point is to avoid behavior modification at all costs. And to continue to avoid being controlled or manipulated by whatever has been internalized over many years of being gang stalked. It can't be avoided, there is going to be some damage, some alteration. But to wall off those areas and not let the internal systems be affected by any of it. To stay with the original schematic of who you are, the original SELF and even the parts of the Internal Programming systems that can be remembered or preserved.

An appreciation for the same types of music etc that I like is helpful as well as other media. As usual new material is shunned due to pay ops content unless its foriegn and obscure.

Being a fellow RA survivor helps I think but I am not sure this can work. We may harm each other in frustration or even have trouble managing the other's energies around us...if you know what I mean.

From what I have read on Neil's SMART ritual abuse pages, people with dual boot programming seem numerous actually. Templar/Masonic and Satanic military. Its eerie actually that there are that many other people claiming survivorship to that specific programming. I dont know if two could get on together.

I know one thing though, I am sick of being surrounded by people with inferior mental capacity and no artisitc ability. Anyone who doesnt excel at verbal skills is ultimately annoying.

I want someone who understands how difficult this is. That its basically a suicide mission and the more we push the more the system resists us, denies us and crushes us. However they deserve nothing less than total obliteration considering what damage they have done. It is my job personally to bring the awful truth to the public so they have to deal with the reality of the world they live in, which for the satanists and sadists is not a problem to begin with. Its not the sickest I am concerned with..we all know they suffer just as they are.
The ones I want punished are the weak who falsely harden themselves against what they partake in but do so only becuz the mob affords them comfort.

The truth, when understood by the people, what small faction will even read such a book, will then break the safety and illusion the weakest of the mob get to live safely behind.

And there are also many who don't understand their own situation or misunderstand TIs. Even simply the homeless or bogus mental illness labels must be exposed for what they truly are, not kept in darkness so being misunderstood can make profit for snake oil salesmen or give white collar criminals places to hide.

After my psychiatrists part in my campaign nothing less will do. Hmph...I read the final referral letter she wrote over the phone once to another older TI and I could feel the fear...their blood ran cold when they heard it. Being from Boston, from the family I am from, being an RA Survivor this is the normal level.of deception, cruelty and disregard that one gets treated with life long. Interesting how someone put a stop to that right away...probably so I would never be motivated to sue everyone involved. Assholes.

So I was abused to the point of beyond illegal and expensive if sued but then I was handled so thst I can never get justice or monetery compensation.

Screw this system is what I say. If you simply want to expose what's going on becuz 'proper channels' simply don't work and you are not LAZY and understand this is literally a life or death situation then let me know.

Part of traveling is due to wanting to escape what happens if a TI stays in one place too long, the other drive comes from travel being all that's left when all you have known gets ripped from under you. What else is there..or rather where else is there?

You are now a stateless person.

I personally am dirt poor. So living in a steel concrete structure with no cell phone reception (heaven) is not possible. But travel provides a safety from being captured in any one particular net. Which provides the safe zone in itself.

If you are as dead serious as I about winning and smiting your enemies-who now live prosperous lives and have forgotten all about you, while you of course rot in the streets and on the road, then perhaps we can accompany one another til the end.

My finalizing my story is my goal. I don't like anything in my way. And I live for my bitterness. The death of those who destroyed me is all I desire, sooner than later and if I cannot bring that on personally or in a physical way then I want at least for the public to appreciate how much they deserve to die.