“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Again Being Tortured To Make Choices Not My Own

Things I am being forced into against my Will while in metro Boston or things that are being pushed on me as strong ideas:
-getting with a black man (boston cambridge and San Diego is where this is forced on me the most and I am sick of it. Its one of the reasons I want to move to.certain parts of Europe. Just like in rural MI I will still be targeted but at least the perps will be seperatists etc and will be against this as part of the agenda for me. I got perped in TN occassionally but it felt like there were people there that were just disgusted with what Yankees had done to me. It was one of the most comfortable places I experienced in this nightmare. I kept getting the vibe that there were people around Nashvilles center and other areas that understood me. The people in Boston area act like I am from Mars..I fuckin hate it here.
Out of all the things they are doing to me please don't let them beat me down into being with a black man. If it happens come right up to me and shoot me on the street becuz it will indicate I have totally been taken over by mind control and I don't want to live that way.
The system here usually uses mild to slightly aggressive sexual arrousal with intimidation and shame to humiliate me down into brainwashing me with the black mate suggestions. I am told often that only a black man can understand me, that in the end of this I will end up with a black man anyway..as if its inevitable. I swear blacks are controlling the world from behind the scenes like from powerful factions in Africa and people just don't know. Its alarming. There is certainly something to that. I often get rewarded or relief when I listen to black music even though its only old stuff I listen to..like the perps doing TI survaillence or even brainmapping/monitoring/interface here are blacks. I know it sounds paranoid but I don't get this treatment or these ideations in places like Nashville, Michigan, Oregon, Utah etc etc. These effects only occur this way in Liberal Blue states like So Cal and metro Boston. This was not the case in northern Cali only San Diego.

I read white supremisist sites when I can't take anymore MA arrogance and eventually I cool down and realize that the kind of blind hate on those things is exactly like the way society treats me or the perps treat me. But they can be useful for reading about how insane this black conspiracy has gotten. One researcher claimed that southern youth has been broken by PC and blacks giving lectures, one such lecture consisted of a black speaker telling these kids that white women having black mens babies now was as natural and inevitable as the women opening her legs...some typically eroticized manipulative sugar coated bs. Like pimps do. These kids not being from the a northeast city they probably don't have the tools internally to dismiss such manipulative voodoo laydowns and privately or publically tell this guy to f*ck off. Which is another reason to phase out anyone from a 70s childhood. Its just like Hitler youth nowadays. The same exact systems are being used.

To think about that sugary sweet eroticised bullshit move on their enemy is enough to make me vomit. These are the things going on you don't hear about.

Id become a white power, seperarist or supremisist in a second but I believe this land belongs to the Natives and that means what was Mexico once as well. I know that other races want to kill us off. But Mexicans and Natives just seem to want back what is theirs. Fair enough just let me back into Europe and I am gone. I also have trouble feeling whites are 'superior'. In many ways they are just different. Lately it is THEY who seem to be supremacists and seperatists and with that arrogant bs yer not very likable. No Italian is going to bow to blacks.
Which explains years of a sort of white supremisist move to get me to focus only on my blonde ancestors. I have been so removed from my Italian DNA and my Slav/Lithuanian DNA that I am obsessed with Nordics and blondes or redheads..of course this is masqueraded as making me strong and removing weakness yet its a route to self loathing becuz I may come from blondes but I never can be blonde and blue eyed. Therefore its then easier to make me feel unaccepted by my own people so easier to push me to blacks as a natural solution.

Nazi type moves are being used ironically to create race mixing and destruction of Italianess or Slavic Russianess-any DNA traditionally resistant to being ruled or without revolt under oppression.

If I worship the Nordic ideal yet am made to feel I am actually loathed by them as well as other Italians and its pushed constantly that only a black man will understand me and that I am built like a black girl etc etc then with this kind of psy hological warfare the system is hoping I will be broken down in this way.

If I don't resist internally by understanding this conjob as I just have writing it above, I often find myself reacting and that seems to lead to urges to become a white supremisist..a very hateful one becuz its personal and out of survival.

So that prediction by that kid working the desk in that Buffalo NY homeless hotel might just come true: he said there was a fear I was going to be the next Hitler. I told this to someone in St Louis and he respnded with "Its about time we had a female Hitler". So this is all really f*cked up.

Also I do NOT like the Christianity within much of the white supremacist movement. Nor the bullshit about feminism..there just hasn't been a feminist movement that is white powered or should I say Euro pagan. If other races could keep their men and race and religion out of it fine..but I have yet to see that kind of Will and commitment from women. No Abrahamic religions and NO men. It can't be done. Women cannot be that able to get along to accomplish that. Certain women but not most. And there will ne NO male bashing either..just independance. Its a very Spartan ideal one that modern women of Abrahamic beat down religions cannot fathom.

So I don't want to become a supremacist becuz I don't believe that way. And seperatism seems so boring. I like certain blacks..they tend to be very what I consider cool and what I consider decent and somewhat civil. What can be done when one constantly feels like one lives in the jungles of Vietnam playing the Friend or Foe game constantly? Its just easier to reject people until hou know they are safe or ok. And its easier for me to look into white's eyes and know Who I am dealing with. Blacks are totally misread by me much of the time which makes it more confusing.

People can only take so much of a warzone daily and start to build walls to cope. The PC YUPpie scum wouldn't know that as they go home to decent neighborhoods or didn't grow up in a racial warzone or experience racism as people like myself do. Being gang stalked by viscous blacks in key areas of the USA didn't help either. I really saw what supremacists were on about with chill outs and they being dangerous animals.

The best thing I have gotten from those racist sites the really raunchy ones, is the concept that "The N*gger is a child." That statement has cooled my anger and hatred dealing with ghetto level blacks in an era of so many immigrants and blacks who are raised without soul it seems nowadays. It just makes it easier to refrain from hate, stress and reacting.

Some blacks register as kin or familiar and they aren't even an issue. I don't see.them as blacks I can't read. There is something in their DNA or spirits that is open and familiar. I know I feature Mike Tyson alot for inspiration. And he's a violent 'animal' right? But to a Ritual Abuse survivor he looks familiar. His features are demonic or those of a jaquar or leopard. His eye brows go up on the ends like mine (or Michael Aqiuino if you notice but he styles them that way..which is very telling). His eyes look like the actor Leonard Nemoy who played Mr Spock on original Star Trek a tv show painfully obvious in its being influenced by the then popular Church Of Satan. To me Tyson seems programmed or some recognizable kin. His speed and strength are more understandable to me than the existence of so many average people on our planet.

Maybe he's Eastern European or Russian is where he gets his features. I don't know.

Black people is a generalization in our society. Not all 'black people' deserve my respect or attention just as not all whites do.

Yet our society has created this problem from the fact they set their slave labour free and the injustice is still not paid so we third wavers have to live in this conundrum. And the people making the rules of managing it often are from other classes that don't have to live in the worst of it.

And how would you feel if a system like this was being used to basically rape-humiliate you into giving up what status you do have or forced mating with another race of the same class?

Its certainly to distract me from the fact that what has been done to me has destroyed my chances of upward mobility class wise.

It's just another keep down tactic. Know your place bitch, isn't that what my own mother told me 'the harassment is about?'. I will give into my mother the day hell freezes over.

Perps have been spreading degrading stories about me for years. One of them 15 years ago was that I ended up in NY with a black pimp. Everyone who knows me knows I would never give a man like that money and I have actually broken a few girls away from that situation out of spite.

Gang stalking is about control and getting rid of assets that are expendable. Nothing more. This only turned 24/7 after I started to deprogram and destroyed my adult entertainment alter ego as well as started recalling memories before the age of 6.

Why can't I be with someone who I will be comfortable with who is like me?

I remember that when I took a ride from a black trucker once who turned out to be former military and totally wacko, when I was seen with him at a tru k stop I felt more relief and comfort from this system's harassment than in years.

When I told him I only liked blondes and Italians and a certain body type and left his truck that was the end of my relief.

Perps are constantly watching its unnerving really. You sense this control and behavior mod from entities within the general public ...you can feel these bastards out in a crowd. Its ridiculous.

I am not going to mate with or be a girlfriend to an ethnicity I don't prefer out of intimidation.

They might have gotten this idea becuz there were like two old men in the adult entertainment field I dealt with. Nothing serious. And when I was on drugs in my early twenties I think I went to some fat guys apartment I don't even remember. I know I wanted to try the race to see what it was like and I was very young like 22 or so. Younger male a bit older like late 20s in shape etc. I really felt no difference between he and other average men not of interest to me in my personal life. In fact I disliked the nappy hair everywhere and the lips were not cool either. So I simply put black on my lost of not what I seek in males. I also feel this way about Latins and redheads. And skinny guys with big wangers. You try things and realize its simply not doing anything for you. If not disgusting you altogether.

I like very blonde Germanic looking/Russian Slavic looking males who are tall and with natural muscles NOT from the gym (my male children have to have muscles to attract women and pass on my DNA) and a nice healthy layer of fat over muscle but not overweight..in fact I'll go with overweight tall muscle before skinny. You never know when you might find yourself out in the snow again. Living in it with animal skins. Men with muscle and no fat from the damn gym are going to seize up in the cold. Stupid.

Specific Italians are the other choice. Occasionally certain Arabs look very good but the whole family thing I don't get. They are big and tall enough anyway. Many Israelis are sexy but that might just be German/Russian/Slav mixed with Arab that I am seeing.

Men down south seem much more attractive on average than up north..with the exception of NYC and hostage NY. Their used to be good looking Italians here in surrounding areas but I haven't seen that in 20 years. They must all be posing as WASPs or YUPpies now. Sad really. Or worse: wiggers.

A reliable formula often found on the road is the exotic mix: base elements are as follows-
-at least two or three strong European DNA's usually German or Irish. Polish is also acceptable but only as an addition.
French or Dutch are also nice in the mix as I possess these myself.

-Other ethnicity that somehow mixes with these base DNA's and.creates a beautiful Man.

The two wonderful paintings I have been with were
*German, Irish, Egyptian, Mexican and Native..and Polish.
*German, Irish, Cuban and Japanese.

These men were so diverse, so attractive it was fascinating.

Of course my ex whom I loved had the most diverse gene pool similar to mine: Scottish/English (Celtic), German, Native American. His maternal grandfather was a Jew (thus Jacob) but this was hidden by conversion to Protestantism down south. Due to that factor and his features and behaviors I highly suspected there was Russian in there also. And definately Nordic but its hard to discern which other nationality carried it over, such as most likely the English or Scottish from Viking invasions. Perhaps even his Jewish ancestor carried this from that area through emigration or one of the expulsions. French Canadian also. The o.my differences were I am not Jewish, Native American and he certainly wasn't Italian.

So attraction to males is a science. A process of ancient and recent DNA communicating to each other. And the reasons females choose the men we do is complex.

Men complain about women's vanity. Yet this is the root motivator for choosing the men we do as passing on DNA IS passing on us or our image.

Men don't like how greedy we are. Well women make sure they get what they need and want preferably so any babies will survive any circumstances or to share with family.

With my complex way of looking at males it would certainly be out of character for me to simply go off with some black guy.

But that is the whole point of gang stalking. Its to destroy and keep down people who are mulit talented, highly intelliegent and/or attractive. To ensure.that society NEVER KNOWS OR BELIEVES the targeted person was special or above average. By the time the destruction is done people only see what the ongoing smear campaign was to begin with.

Smear campaigns in gs are self fullfilling prophecies. Gs has forced me into racism. Gs has forced me to remain in poverty.

In my case its most likely using torture and inducing brain damage to see how long it takes for me to confess information.

Its not the info that's important its the confession that is. It means they have finally broken down internal programming the structures that kept me strong inside as a person.

If I write a book I am controlling information still. If I confess it here carelessly on this blog then they are controlling that process.

If you don't believe this is real and I am just nuts YOU haven't read up on MK Ultra of which my mother has a documented connection to from 1950s human experiments. And you don't know much about the cold war and how much of what was discovered and created is now used for mass mind control.

I now wonder if the entire cold war wasn't created in order to hide these changes and advances.

Its too late now isn't it? Mass mind control everywhere and my own demise continues.

Another thing I am being forced into is going to UMass. I've been promised everything from finally feeling accepted and at home to all the sex I want at UMass. Its daily now and its obnoxious.

I have to leave this area and I realize now I can never return. Purely becuz the areas that surround Harvard, MIT and Boston are so heavily managed with tech that my health can't take the effects. Its constant brainwash, forgetfulness and fake happiness or a falsely induced feeling of everything being OK.

I was mistaken to believe I could live normally or that I could survive in such a heavily polluted area. That the forces here wouldn't try to finish me off.

Leave and have nothing to do with this state ever again. Its what they want anyway. My mothers health went downhill staying here and my condition over the past year is the final test of this theory- every single time I come back here this happens. Every time I live away from the northeast or the east coast for that matter I get fit, healthy and well again especially in the desert.

This place may have something special intellectually that I need to remain intelligent or aware but the physical and spiritual effects are simply not worth it.

Its nothing but torture here nowadays. And with memories of severe betrayals
as well so many unresolved issues me being here is simply torture.

If they are indeed trying to seal an altered timeline then my existing in this space where I so accutely can see feel and imagine the timeline that should have been is of course going to be torture. And its easier for them to seal a change by my being away from my origins.

I have to learn that in this alternate timeline we have been shifted into I cannot exist here.

This is why they push so hard for TIs to accept their situations or the pathetic person who has been created from destroying the target over time.

These are the people they need us to be in the false altered timline.

I know it sounds like insanity but enough of what I have experienced tells me that much of what the Nazis were working on has been picked up from there and made a reality.

How hard would it be to alter time and space simply by altering the human population? With enough LSD type drugs enough chemtrails enough pssychological warfare, enough technology both used by man and bigger systems to control him as in the MindWar paper suggests- through a formula why could you not alter time and space?

The sun is doing funny things lately. The scientific community claims that the sun itself defines our time and space for us here on earth.

Man has a ridiculously rigid sense of time on this planet. And even THAT is falsified via Abrahamic religious systems and patriarchal nonsense which gives us the birth of Christ as year zero and the Gregorian calender which uses the sun instead of the 28 day lunar calender..which is why we have leap years where 1/4 a day left over becomes a day every four years.

Time is defined by man just as country borders are which also do not appear anywhere other than man made maps and man populated borders.

So why couldn't some very determined sinister humans with unbelievable resources take to altering a timeline?

I guess I have to stay in the right areas of the south or the northwest in order to avoid the Liberal torture to become a coal burner. Which I would be if I sold out to doing something by force instead of Willfully.
Many people are being marketed to as to how to choices that should be personal like who to mate with or what music to like. Its a world wide brainwashing program now..and I have seen what's behind the agenda. Its not to improve the world for equality and freedom..those don't seem to be ideals of the perps I have experienced anyway.

O'Reilly Gets Owned

What's interesting is his understanding that the school's reputation is already tarnished. This man knows how smear works.

He's got a.near creepy love for Bush as seen in interviews.

What makes people hate ORielly and people like him on either side of political belief is that he's marketed as talk or journalism but essentially he's the one who really does all the talking. His conservative views are truly what this show is a vehicle for. Its nothing more usually.

He runs his show like the attage :A man's home is his castle. Going on the show for the purpose of debate is pointless.

In fact people should stop humouring him altogether and never go on to counter him again. Then he can blabber away into the camera to his heart's and who's content and have on guests that reflect and repeat his views. The public would finally see it for what it is and get bored with no fights or bullying and it would flatline nicely..or better yet fade away.

Poor kid using his brain and freedom of speach: don't you know you can't argue with what O'Reilly is hooked into? And never argue with a man in his own house.

Visiting Hometown..I Know I Did All The Right Things

In my familial hometown getting mail from box. I think I understand now that on the local level at least my mother and her family were abusing their connections to police via my grandmother Willems having a nephew that was a detective. That and my mother's old self admitted syndicate connections and my uncle's connections from his days doing violent things for some Italians.

They always were selfish and excluded me. I al sure the cops were happy to oblige in assisting to destroy me.

Yet did these connections help when Jake and his idiot rich kids try sloppily to frame me for drugs? Or go up against corruption from higher levels during Bush? Or did those higher up connections assist me from the local cop nonsense connected to my family.

My mother and grandmother turning on me tells me one thing but people dropping me info in AZ talking about me having 'police connections' and that bitch Lenni from The Women's Lunch Place hissing at me that basically I was still walking around becuz "You've got friends Rachael". (F*ck u by the way. You don't even deserve that job u nasty b*tch). Who let's these psychos work with the homeless? They're all gang connected in there anyway. That place is disgusting and I wouldn't eat the lunches-unless you want to feel drugged by a mood stabilizer and sleepy afterwards. (This has been my experience nationwide with free food for homeless in a third of the places I have been. We should collect samples and test the food and drinks.)

Its confusing when so many factions are involved.
It's good for me to see my ancestral home. And the bus passes by a street that leads right to the apartment in Brighton MA I lived in when this turned 24/7 in 2003. I still get very calm when I go by it..becuz that is where I lost my life. Where I still exist waiting to be set free with vengence. My true spirit is trapped there for eternity until it's set free with a full expose version of the truth.

Who cares if the local scum believe if or not? From the what I have seen over the years one can only assume that any companies in the Waltham area involved in the military industrial complex like on Rt. 128 tech hub and Raytheon have some interest in helping to target anyone who knows too much.

I am also getting strong ideations again that alot of this is about Romney that sociopath and getting him elected president.

Go for it..nothing like a good timeline shift to make things go your way. Of course its Bush behind this again.

Charles Schlund said he was being targeted and his information and testimony suppressed in order to make way and buy time for HW Bush to get into office. It worked obviously. And of course his second term was an odd occurence: a nation full of confused human animals that did not understand why they were compelled to vote Republican when they had planned to vote Democrat. Myself included..but like a good slacker Gen Xer I simply chose Non Action over doing the wrong thing and didn't vote that day due to how weird that was.

One day this will all come out and it will be very illegal and enforced to throw elections using military/intelligence technologies. For now the sheep are still confused...and very controlled.

Its not them I hate if they are truly concerned..its the ones who know something is very wrong but choose to submit..let them suffer someday hopefully they will. And of course the scum who gang stalk and spy and inform who know this system is in place. They are the worst of all.

Spider Toxins Cures?

I got bit by a spider. Had an allergic reaction to the venom. ER..I think I posted how the nurse was an outrageous overt perp.

That is not the purpose of this post. I actually feel alot better than I have in months after being bitten and experiencing those toxins.

I wonder if man is supposed to be outside so we can get bitten by things and live in an environment that is much healthier than inside as it's self cleaning. The dirt, the rain all the bugs and animals that live in and clean it.

Am also wondering if some of us actually NEED toxins in small amounts found in nature (such as taking drugs from plants even though they are heavily bastardized with processing: coca is still a leaf and opium is still from a plant, etc). I know that many toxins in small amounts are used medicinally traditionally in medicine. I feel like it got rid of something that was in me or wrong with me that I either had from living in that moldy apartment or caught on the road or here. It countered something or killed it.

Either that or the system is not targeting me as much becuz I have even more evidence of harassment.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

How GS Removes A Person's Personal Power

I know why people disrespect me and exclude me. They say to themselves "yes we are afraid of her but what's she going to do? She's powerless. " and becuz my situation has been designed to emasculate trap and tether me, my personal and metaphysical power becomes null and void. I am totally defined by my situation.

So they think..

Monday, June 27, 2011

Still Dealing With Attempted CONSTANT Brainwashing In Cambridge City Limits

Just walked by the firehouse in harvard sq cambridge. Got the idea that someone in the crowd of men out front ....that it was good that I was settled down and not acting aggressive, crazy or working in adult entertainment or posing naked for artists as a life drawing model. That I was 'normal' now. I am in my nightgown which is a dress and carrying my backpack and sleepgear.

The belief that the gs is to reform someone by destroying their health and life energy is either to brainwash the Target or as a cover story for the public.

The system is very heavily now trying to stop me from getting lawyer speaking out or even believing that anything that was done to me was wrong at all.

There is constant remote influence to make me believe that I needed to be broken down and tamed through gs. I notice that only on Sundays do I truly understand what has happened and that I should not be staying within irt limits here.

The remote influence here is constant and more subtle than in years prior. One ca.t even make room foe one's own thoughts.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Response to Last Post

In response to that last post I got harassment that consisted of ' now you realize you are not the most important person in the world' and an ideation that I was giving up for the good of my country, not out of disgust.

Then another ideation came about consisting of this being about 'i am the most important person in my life' and this has all been leading up to me learning to truly care about myself as a person due to the system destroying my internal programming.

These are tactics tricks and deceptions of the same kind my mother used to use. She would Fuck me up real bad and if I sank to her level and struck out at her from being tormented, she would say "good you finally hit me back" or some nonsense about finally gaining some self respect.

The people behind gang stalking are just as sick as my mother. They actually use alot of the same tactics and attitudes. To abuse someone until they lose control and then suck them in to your control by claiming that reaction was good is mind control. Its brain washing and nothing else.

No one has the right to disturb another persons nature and try to modify them like this with torture and abuse. Its cult mind control and its manipulation.

This is why MA is so dangerous. The tech and gs here is so heavy the control over the population is constant. And people don't even realize it.

America Can Have Bush Puppet Romney or Four More Years of The Uppity African Liberal

America deserves Mitt Romney or Obama. I'll protest no longer. Let the country go. Its been gone from reality and the original timeline for years. Also people like me have purposely been taken out of society and kept from growing with it.

Its pointless to keel fighting. The country is satisfied with the way things are. There is no changing America or expecting it will be as it was. And this attitude of a small sect of people that if I die the county maybe even the world will be better off or benefit, I am also very tired of that being pushed. STILL they are trying to manipulate me into suicide.

Trying to get me to stay in this area with promises of college when in fact it will be impossible for me to make that happen or to see it through once it is initiated.

I note now that many of the entertainment groups that seemed to have works geared to seem to assist me are on the same label as the main perpetrators. I understand now that this was most likely to keep me on the road running and fighting instead of thinking logically and critically and getting a lawyer or making a video tape to tell my story and name names.

I have been decieved right out of my own life. And this system continues to try to get me to either suicide or to conform and accept my situation and place in society as is instead of making a stink about how I could have been a winner in life.

I don't like any of those endings...America can go #&%$ itself. Have a nice life under Mitt Romney, Bush's next incarnation.

The day that man dies is truly the day that peace on earth will reign...which is probably why he and his cabal has to keep killing off sacrifices...kind of a Countess Bathory type of thing. He'll probably live to be 150..

I don't care anymore. I hope America suffers under Bus...I mean Romney and finally wakes up. But they wont.

As long as they have their stuff and Dizneyworld they don't care what goes on outside the USA.

My own birthplace makes me sick. And I am done with being harassed and having people push this race mixing NWO agenda down my throat.

Diversity is only acceptable if the host culture is strong...and it's not. Its being subverted and wiped out. I don't see class diversity. I don't see rich people encouraging poor people to live among them or intermarry with them.

I am sick of being manipulated, lied to and treated like a fuckin child. I have has it with not being taken seriously becuz people are stupid enough to believe cover stories.

Me staying here trying to get a lawyer or even see a doctor. I have seen one doctor in a 12 month period. That is how bad the mind control is here. Only on Sundays or around 2-5 am weekdays can I truly think and function normally.

Vote for Romney and that rich bitch wife of his. Go for it. Becuz I have nothing further to say about it. America deserves to be destroyed. There are only a fraction of people left in this country that are true Americans and their industries are targeted with psy ops..many sense it but don't realize that's what it is and aren't countering the tactics. The trucking industry is one of them. The old timers and independants are on their way out. This is a nationwide issue of total control and it'd NOT going to get any better.
Let the lemmings live here and enjoy mind numbing NWO culture.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Not Reacting To Tech Illusions/Theories Pertaining To Truman Show Programs

One of the most bothersome excuses used by the gang stalking smear machine and cover story generator is that many people actually believe that they were either protecting rich powerful men in the community during that federal investigation or that I was going to rat or, and this is the most irksome of all: they are reforming or teaching a lesson to a sex worker.

There are reasons for this, mostly becuz the American public are very very stupid when it comes to covert ops. Especially the mid range people I dealt with who were behind most of my gang stalking. Regular guys, union types, secretaries in offices (intimidating doctors who were sticking up for me NOT being a drug seeker just becuz I came in with a cold or flu or whatever. What kind of system do we live in where a DOCTOR with a degree gets mobbed by her underlings?? St Elizabeth's Hospital by the way, which of course got bought out immediately afterwards by a corporate hospital chain that proceeded to rip out the statue of Mother Mary that had been there forever. And of course they got a nice new addition put on the hospital just like many other institutions who had people working for the gang stalking system within thier ranks. That guy in NYC recently that made that remark about it being all about making money, a remark that really cut me- said more truth in that one statement than he realizes. Sometimes people's guilt gets the best of them and they give information from thier subconscious without consciously realizing it.)

I recently saw something where Rudy Giuliani was calling a regular guy type in the audience a bully and Rudy telling the audience not to listen to him and his mob becuz they were nothing but bullies. It gets very confusing. The people that we are shown or its intimated they are involved in those Truman Show moments, which it sounds like is what drove Diana Napolis to act out in insane ways and become a celebrity stalker- could they actually be Target's themselves? Rudy Giuliani is basically calling the very people who ARE the gang stalking perps in my experience, "bullies" in a mob or group.

Its a theory I have formulated that perhaps many of the people we are shown over and over again in the Truman Show programs that are used to interface with certain TI's, are actually other Targeted persons and this is a way of getting TI's to turn on each other. A wide variety of people have been shown to be in on this and I never believe any of it unless there is a real indication such as the person puts something out in the media that is obviously connected to the psy ops activity.

Then that is where the above theory doesnt work becuz some of the people being flashed constantly through this program have indeed made moves in the media to solidify thier involvement, mostly people closer to home and very close to assisting my enemies and betrayers locally. There was some crap being pulled by people in Hollywood often enough but I just ignore that becuz Hollywood is infamous for spying on regular citizens that have something they want. Such an example would be the man who was actually a real part of the game show hoaxes in the 50's had reported that when he started dealing with Hollywood and specifically Spielberg for a movie deal he experienced was basically sounded like alot of gang stalking activity.

Remember- like it or not Hollywood has a strong connection to Israel. And that means Mossad and protecting ALL Jews interests everywhere and I am sure Hollywood generates alot of money that is given to Israel and thier interests. I am not theorizing on 'jew media' I am telling you what is fact and what I have heard from Jewish people who know Hollywood people. ISRAEL is a major concern for them. So why wouldnt intelligence protect thier interests or even assist in furthering them. Then again former CIA often consult on Hollywood movies so there is another possible connection to a very high quality spycraft. Then again, there is Scientology with its connections to the US Navy through Hubbard.

Hollywood has an intelligence arm and who it is is not important. Just know that it IS.

Therefore it would not be so far fetched to see plainly that when a person like myself is targeted, that this arm of snoops and spooks which seems to include celebrities, takes to interigating, playing mind games, spying, stealing ideas and doing psy ops in media.

And yes, some TI's ARE that important. Especially when your former friend and employer is an untouchable career criminal who has Hollywood producers as her clients AND her father was in the CIA by her own admission. (Poor thing used to be so upset and always wonder why he got Alzheimer's like memory loss at just age 40..and why he drank so much to politely cover depression. After dealing with such bastardry from either the same source or similar state actors I can understand why).

Then of course there is the possibility of cult activity either Scientology or other nonsense like good ol Church of Satan, The New Church of Satan or Temple of Set with our old buddy Aquino, which is now run by an African American woman. Cali is fun isnt it?

I like to believe I am not as thin skinned as Diana Napolis or at least am better equipped to deal with such psy ops nonsense. But to be fair if it were not for her pioneering this system that TI's involved in RA research or whistleblowing, and her making mistakes I might not have faired so well. I also am fortunate to have actual dirt on people in industry, business and academia locally so I fared a bit better. Its not to say that one day I wont simply get shot walking down the street, but for what youth, beauty and talent they took from me, it will ALL be worth it if that happens anyway.

They do all this in hopes that the targeted person will snap and start stalking or writing insane letters to the people they constantly focus the TI on mentally. Even if certain people show that they are involved in this directly by doing stuff in interviews or whatever, doesnt mean one should go off and name them publicly or write to them etc. That is the WORST thing you can do. Even me talking like this is enough to get me labeled. It may have me discredited already but who cares? A careful comparison shows that EVERY single person who goes up against this system that knows too much gets pretty much the same treatment.

How can we all be insane with EXACTLY the same things happening to us that are way too particular in detail to be imagined. The problem with this claim is that what happens to TIs that are targeted in this way is not indicative of being disordered. In fact its extremely orderly- just like you would expect a psy ops unit to conduct itself.
It has every stamp on it of military. Efficient, brutal, results at any cost, orderly, multipurpose, detached. Killers. And the budget necessary must be huge so therefore this isnt just anyone doing this. These people in the 'gang stalking' system have access to huge amounts of money and resources..and access that other groups dont have.

You can hate on the people who are in on this and roll in it like pigs becuz they love to destroy you so much as some of them seem to, as well as the people who seem to only be being constantly implicated by means of this system and never show indications of involvement anywhere in the mediascape themselves..hate them all you want. BUT DONT CONTACT THEM AND DONT STALK THEM AND FOR F*CKS SAKE DONT NAME THEM.

These processes are NOT insanity or mental illness. Too much leads up to this becoming a reality for the TI for it to be mere mental illness. The Target is always someone who knows too much and is a threat to some system such as Ritual Abuse, Satanic factions, child porn, prostitution etc etc. Its always too convenient to be insanity in specific cases like these.
For me to only 'go crazy' during a federal investigation of a woman with very sensitive information about powerful men nationwide is quite suspect timing, its waaayyy too convenient. So screw being afraid of getting labeled.

The main reason one should not give up names and info concerning psy ops is recall the beginnings of your harassment especially during Bush: INTERROGATION. That was all the bastards did constantly during Bush.

They need the Target to give them info so that they can further do psychological operations on the person. You need to learn to use information flow to f*ck up thier games not feed their games. Telling the truth in a way that makes them look like idiots as well as screws up thier smear campaigns is the way to go about this, not give them information becuz they harass it out of you.
They will simply take it and run with it. That leaves less time for YOU to write exposes or tell on them or name names that actually matter and have impact not 'what if's'.

Most of all the people who hate you are doing so out of extremely selfish luxury. Its like taking drugs for them: they dont know you, they are sheltered and hidden from you and from any kind of consequences from hurting you. To help destroy you for them is as detached an act as shooting a bag of heroin or snorting cocaine. You are just a means to an end. If they actually knew you personally, then you would have some Win on your side becuz no matter how arrogant they are or pretend they dont care, there IS going to be some emotional payback for what they did to you, especially after you write an expose so the public can see exactly what thier part was in all of it. THEY WILL HAVE TO PAY FOR BETRAYING YOU PERSONALLY. And you better believe in TIME.

Time is something that every Ritual Abuse/programmed person knows is thier best friend. Its the best weapon possible. If you actually LIVE to get revenge, and sometimes that is all that is going to keep you alive, you will age. And so will your betrayers. When Jake fat f*cker is 50 or an old man dying on his bed, he will have to think about what he did. He WILL go over this betrayal no matter how hes played it out and rewrote it in his own perceptions. That is your revenge, its just in its sleeper phase when it looks like your betrayers have won...in the beginning. They all get thier payoffs and thier golden opportunities. Awards-as-rewards. But eventually if you fight hard enough, truth comes around again, as insanity like that decade of long knives type crap during Bush cant last forever as the country would go insane permanently- and they no longer get anything out of what they did. And if you play it right, if you fight for truth long enough, no amount of lies or bs can cover up the truth. Or at least the Target's story.

And dont forget to ignore you enemies and betrayers as if they dont exist. This makes the system have to work extra hard and spend more money which is one of your only revenges really early on. It also pisses people off immensely. Its a great coping skill, its called class or carriage and usually anyone lowly enough to be in on gang stalking, outside of really powerful factions, like all the bottom feeders we deal with and our betrayers- do NOT possess this quality. Use it. Especially if you are attractive and alot of jealous, desperate women are behind or in on your being targeted. It will add to thier pain and frustration which, in the end you want to use to turn them into dust, after you realize that a huge amount of people in your own country were responsible for trying to get you KILLED you will pretty much have the fire you need to think nothing of them other than the animals they are.

They were more than willing to watch you driven to suicide, and these are people who KNEW YOU. And they chose the enemy over you. That means they do not exist and they are now, and will forever be- the enemy.

The people that DONT KNOW YOU are not betrayers. They are simply jackasses stupid enough to think they can f*ck with you and move on consequence free. Make sure you keep track of every jerk who even gives indication of being in on this. Becuz somewhere along the line there will be an opportunity to get back at them, or their kids or thier grandkids. Do to them just as they did to you.

NOT becoming a Christian is the best idea for revenge but dont fall into the Satanic attempts to make you totally evil and without mercy becuz that also gives them control. People like Charlie Sheen who other TI's have pointed out to be seems to be in on things like this- who gives a shit really? The problem with that is he is powerful, rich and famous and a TI is only moments away from suicide and probably poverty. Your best bet with sick Hollywood types in on psy ops is to write them off as sociopaths so far gone on thier own reflections (or competing forever with thier dad's reflections, hahaha) that they are less than human beings anyway. They dont live real lives. They will be quite satisfied to be rotting away in wheelchairs being pushed around the red carpet, senile as hell, with the newest boring starlets getting cred by having a pic posed next to them. That is thier future. Imagine the fun that the supermarket rags and TMZ are going to have with alot of these famous people when they are really old and physically helpless. I think about it sometimes and dread it for them, its really awful. Look at the way they treat famous old people now, who are dying of cancer and such. They flash bulb right in thier faces and get these awful pics, they dont even care.

They will forever be whored off to those cameras. Think Michael Jackson as the worst case of abuse in Hollywood, of that business. And that was a case we actually could see he was abused his whole life. You have no idea how sick ass that industry is. It makes adult entertainment seem like preschool. And besides- been to Cali? Its kinda stupid is it not? Pleasant but really your brain starts to melt and you HAVE to get back to the east coast to re up on intelligent content right? Yeah. Psy ops is really all the power they have. That and being young on film forever and ever and ever and ever..until time does away with interest in that too.

Eventually all these fuckers will die. Whether it be physically or the interest in the recorded images of them dies. Dont let the Illusion Factory or its inmates intimidate you. TIME and an understanding of Time's power is all you need. All of these people fear time, they fear age. One day, you will probably feel sorry for them..which of course means you are once again morally superior to most of the scum that gang stalked you.
Realize that your death and the things that they have done to you mean NOTHING to them. You are a passing phase- they are probably onto the next extremely talented, beautiful mind controlled slave kept down in poverty they can assist in destroying to make themselves feel more beautiful and talented. FUCK THEM ALL. Remove yourself from thier power. Depend on Time as it will bring revenge..along with YOUR efforts of course.

I have another theory on Unions which I will post next as they have a record of intimidation and harassment and I just wonder if that is not what Giuliani was referring to.
Too many 'regular guys' are in on this. Many of them union people like cops, firemen, ambulance, nurses and construction jobs like city workers doing construction. Often smaller business types like plumbers and masons and painters, in small trucks or vans are the ones who are more overt about harassing TI's. Warning the public about thier part in this is going to be embarassing enough. You cant ID them becuz they hide behind being just more 'regular guys'. But you can tell the public how they helped to destroy you, how sexist they are, and how you were driven to suicide and lost your future due to a large group of mostly males from these factions in society.

These people dont have any power as INDIVIDUALS. Therefore they must group up as they do and be part of gang stalking that way. Once again you are dealing with people you dont know who dont care about you and dont care if you die. In fact they are most likely projecting all of thier problems and frustrations out on you becuz they dont have the balls to face the upper classes who pay them and order them around. Its important they DONT discover you as a person becuz they need scapegoats to keep going in life. Each class, gender, race and religion of gang stalkers has its personal motives for what it does to Targets. Most off all these people can get away with what they do becuz they have alot of information about YOU but you have nothing on THEM.

You have to make them pay for what they did. And you have to make thier kids pay and thier kids. The only way to do that is to tell the whole world exactly how this system works and to let people know that society ISNT safe. That mobs are being commissioned and outside of getting paid or favors or opportunities, human beings take part in this out of reasons that are NOT business-like. Too many fat and old and common looking bitches were very into these games when they were going on. And I will never forget who they were and I can identify many of them. Just a few weeks ago, this women Patricia who acts so kind and all this fake shit pertaining to my mailbox I keep in my family's hometown- she looked over at my shape for a moment and you could SEE the jealousy for a split second, but you know what that look ended with? A write off. It was easy to dismiss her jealousy becuz I am targeted, I am homeless and I have no life, no future and no chances left. Society is sick. Humans are viscous greedy animals who hide behind any reason they can to destroy what they are jealous of. America hides behind Judeo-Christian values while thier children get molested by thier own families or worse-by the media. THEY ARE WEAK. THEY are the kind of people who cannot face up to the aggressors and oppressors, they stay trapped. Fate and chance would have destroyed them by now in a more sensible primitive pagan society..or it would have destroyed me by now so I wouldn't suffer. In this society, we all live in misery, and consumption is the only way to make that better. So therefore we are slaves to the overlords that set up that system and profit from it.

Alot of pressure is going to be put on you, if you dont know that already. Its not pleasant when an entire nation comes after you and tries to drive you to suicide. And The People find whatever excuse they can to rationalize that or they are too stupid to understand that without an order from on high, none of this lawless bullshit would be able to be perpetrated. Its easy to get the monkeys into a line of excuses for these things happening. Becuz they are the ones that could never face thier own lives. They dont have the intelligence to do so. Why do you think you are being harassed by such high levels of society?

As one nasty bitch in Pine Street said to me, an Italian piece of garbage- "oh, they HATE the smart ones".

So they keep you down and they throw you to the people who enjoy watching someone highly intelligent and talented held down and destroyed. Monkeys and apes is what they are. No better. They dont care to be better, becuz its too easy to remain the way they are. There will always be Targets to make them feel better.

Telling your story and naming names, the ones you can is always a good revenge. Dont worry they will all stick together the way they did while destroying you and deny any of this happened. But in some other country that hates America or some other region that hates New England- or working class people or who ever else you can name- you will find support. You have to form your OWN mob. By doing this you form a hateful mob of your own.

But the People are smart. They have already stopped thier behavior and are in hiding. They will inevitably pretend to agree with the book and all who praise it when it comes out. Deep down however, always be aware that the next Bush type era that comes into being, that these animals will be easily whipped into a frenzy and once again, like the Bush era, it will be as Nazi Germany was. Becuz that is exactly what has happened to the USA. And Jews are in on this. Do they care? NO OF COURSE NOT. Jews only care about what happens to them not in a society where they are not one of the groups being persecuted. ANIMALS...remember? HUMAN ANIMALS? Chosen or unchosen they are still animals.

This is exactly like Nazi Germany. Things looked up during Bush people made money off the war and only the people getting persecuted were miserable. That is the way humans are. You can built all the walls and memorials you want. NO ONE CARES IF IT ISNT HAPPENING TO THEM.

I know its maddening when you are in an area like I am now where the main focus on the tech seems to be to drive you nuts to snap. But you just cant. Too much satisfaction and fun lie in total revenge...and that is gotten from telling the truth. They can deny it and ignore it but someone on the other side of the earth is going to read it and believe it. And you have that to live for. Someone out there, or an entire culture or nation HATE your enemies and your betrayers. Make it happen and live for it. Becuz during Bush way too many people were involved in this and I saw regular people thoroughly enjoying me being sick from mold exposure and eventually pushed into suicide. They are still pissed I am not dead or locked up. That should not be rewarded with you snapping and them getting what they want. That should be for you to morph and transmute into YOUR luxury. It will soon be the TI's turn to be able to sit back and watch society burn and pay for what they did. If not by your own hand with simply telling the truth in detail, then Time if not some disaster. In years to come, make them pay for what they did, make thier children pay. And most of these pathetic nobodies have children, believe me they are far too animalistic to not have children, as nature rules thier tiny minds. As well as they cant resist the idea of something living on in thier image, and of course NOT being talented artists many of the nobodies involved, have only children to be thier creation in life.

These people are all asleep. Most likely a TI gets punished because they wake up and evolve to a level where they break through society's brainwash. THEN you have to be villified. Most people truly are not smart enough to see what they are doing is wrong,and the people that are educated and smart enough are emotionally fucked totally and have tenure most likely which makes them just as dangerous as a group of average people in on this.

There is no accounting for the ape like darker side of human beings. The difference between YOU and THEM is that you or I or not afraid of that side becuz we accept it, and perhaps have control over it. These people are so scared to death of thier true nature that they are easily manipulated. Also many of them enjoy acting out in very Satanic ways under excuses or guises so that they can hide that they are doing so. New England is especially guilty of this. They are religiuos up here but for the most part its a Satanic system through and through. And the people here have no problem with dealing with that becuz they are so brainwashed.

New England is high on power in a big way. They cops help enforce this. No one cares if wrong was done becuz it was done for the benifit of POWER within the city or area. Ultimately that is good for everyone so they dont care who they destroy. And as I have seen, even my own family will go along with that, which of course will be written in detail.

In my case its especially frustrating becuz everyone here thinks they won already. The cops especially are arrogant f*cks who think they won. They think they are better than me. Everyone here does. Lets see what the rest of the world thinks about what goes on in New England. It seems that no matter who tells on this place no one cares. No one does anything to make MA or any other part of New England pay for thier crimes against people in order to further thier power trips. There is nothing anyone can do about that. The cops here will continue to be brainwashed that they are better than everyone else along with thier criminal co conspriators. And The Public will continue to take pleasure in kissing the ass of the corrupt system here like the assholes they are. All the horrid rich kids from BU that really messed with me, those Long Island pieces of garbage mostly- the whole north east is fucked. At least Cali knows its totally delusional...I will hand them that.

New England needs something very very bad to happen to them, physically. Like an earthquake. I have imagined it. It would do alot of damage. It would be very very hard for them to evacuate, due to the arrogance they have shown with the way everything is set up and built. It would be wonderful really.

Just wait till I escape out of the country or the area to send some waves via tech this way alright? Perhaps HAARP will have some positive effect on my life after all... becuz if I was in charge I know which way I would point the next earthquake causing sound waves. Destination NORTHEASTERN USA.

You have to handle the anger. You have to remember that these are BLACK OPS and BLACK PROJECTS which is another reason why everyone is so arrogant. The power trip is incredible. Everytime you DONT react the way they plan I notice they lose control. The perps in person have always lost thier grip if a TI doesnt react as planned. This should also be true for not reacting to other stimuli as well. Its in YOUR best interest NOT to go as insane as its planned for you.

Its laughable that all I have to do is travel and move to a different location and the Truman Show effect will totally cease and something else will be in use specific to that location in my records of previous travels to that location. Which of course means that they also lose control once you move your location.

Ultimately f*ck them is what I am saying. Dont let them push you around. If you are in an area where you are getting too crazy and being shown things that are way to intense just leave. If you are the same wherever you go, take meds then becuz you might actually be mentally ill. But if your experiences behave way too much like tech, then play with it like tech. Remember this is mere mortal human beings behind these inventions and creations I dont care HOW MUCH AI they create or programs. You are human, you can beat them.

Friday, June 24, 2011

The Bullshit Of Whitey Bulger's Case/America The Pitiful

What a joke. For years I have been saying that with the capacity the gang stalking system has, they could have found this man years ago. Even the officially accepted capacities of the FBI now that crosses borders can find criminals on the run if they are important enough to follow.

Satelites, cameras everywhere in cities, spies everywhere, undercover cops, snitches, see through walls technologies, heat sensing tech, and major data mining centers such as the one in Utah.

And they couldnt find a guy THIS famous? IN THE USA???

Whitey Bulger is no dummy. And I think I know what he was thinking becuz by him staying within the USA, it makes me ask WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING DUDE??!! How stupid is that for a criminal that wanted and hated to still be in the USA?? Way lesser criminals skip off to other countries, places like parts of Mexico where police and bounty hunters are a no no to local politics and due to keeping the balance of things- its kept that way. Costa Rica and Cuba are old skool and dont work anymore I dont think but there are lots of NEW places like the far east or South or Central America I have read. I know little about disappearing but I know damn well that going to a major city as San Diego in a heavily policed and watched state like CA is really obvious and stupid.

So why his actions? Becuz he must have been depending on 'friends' to protect him. End of story. No one hangs around the USA like that in the way he did so unless they are pretty sure they are not going to be dragged in.

They werent trying to find him, not be normal police means and not by more sophisticated ones such as the FBI has for international criminals. And as far as the higher end intelligence services such as TI's have to deal with- they could have found him by now and even killed him and no one would have known about it. But of course they want the publicity. And I believe this is being timed on purpose just like Bin Laden.

It provides relief to the public, gives the feds something to crow about and makes Obama look like he did something on his watch once again. ALL of this while in reality, the horrors started during Bush continue to be perpetrated against Targeted Individuals and the American public.

I think they save up Whitey Bulgers for a rainy day, like money in the bank no one knows about.

Its interesting that they claim there were look alikes. So who provided the look alikes? Becuz that was something I experienced in St Louis. Was intelligence protecting him?

And why didnt he just go to Ireland, perhaps I am ignorant on that one. Maybe they didnt want him, dont know on that one. America is a bigger country.

The picture of the FBI agents putting all the bags of evidence into the truck made my stomach turn. They look like perps- just regular kids, normal dressed citizens in jeans etc. Are these the people who harass us and destroy our lives?

Why am I treated like Whitey Bulger? Why am I harassed and persecuted? Why was there never a subpeona? I didnt murder anyone or any little kids etc. I am not a major career criminal. In fact the people around me that had crimes I can name with details were all paid off with money, favors or opportunities or immunity while my life is ruined and I only refrain from suicide to expose what was done to me.

This means that the FBI is corrupt. Its corrupt and only does what it needs to in order to perpetuate the appearence to the public that its doing its job or doing good in the world. It also gives a hell of alot more weight to my theory about they not WANTING to find him until it was convenient as part of some political agenda.

But of course, gang stalking doesnt exist and I am just schizophrenic like my father right? None of my theories ring true becuz I imagined it ALL! EVERY BIT OF IT.

Dont you think that going crazy just as a federal investigation is getting too close to an untouchable career criminal who can embarass imporatant men (who arent career criminals) is a bit suspect in timing? As well as deprogramming due to induced brain damage and asking too many questions, remembering too many things and asking to be hypnotized? GREAT timing for my sanity to be in question. Oddly my sanity was much MORE questionable years before I was exposed as crazy and eccentric for the sake of a smear campaign, but then I was young, beautiful and fully under control of programming and the outside handling system so I was 'of use' therefore it didnt matter how crazy I acted.

The United States of America is corrupt to the core. It is a Satanic system, if you will for lack of a better term (sorry about actually validating Abrahamic religions here), and only functions due to world wide policing, war, death, murder, rape, prostitution, exploitation, women and children as barter and total oblivion and denial of its people. Lets not forget thievery.
I can live with the realities of all of the above. What I cant believe is the sneaky quiet greed that is hidden underneath the American in denial about the existence of such things as black ops right under their noses. For instance, the same women at On The Rise who are so mean and judgemental to me, were talking about Whitey Bulger this morning and one of the women who has been in on my harassment (only knows cover story) who hates fast women, said "Imagine him going into a room strangling a little girl,wrapping his hands around her throat, just becuz she knew too much."
Its very easy for me to imagine that..what the f*ck do you think Ritual Abuse Survivors go through being gang stalked? DUH..that is exactly what is being done dumbass. Especially,since many of us actually have child alters, and many Survivors are regressed into that state to be further abused by the gang stalking system into suicide. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THE GANG STALKING SYSTEM DOES TO SURVIVING MIND CONTROL VICTIMS. When we start to remember that is what is done to us via gang stalking.
Yet no one cares, no one believes and everyone is mean to us and believes smear campaigns and cover stories. Why are people so stupid? Why are humans so selective in thier sympathies?
I believe human beings are essentially evil. Animals, beasts. They only care about a child becuz society trains them to care. They are nothing more than trained beasts I see now. Most of them, there are exceptions- maybe this is just America, the new dumbed down NWO version. Totally under mass mind control and dont give a shit either way as long as thier needs and desires are fed. ANIMALS.

So who is delusional again? The American People are. And I have had quite enough of thier bullshit. The powers that be are not delusional, they know full well what the reality of America is. Kind of like you can deal better with the most sadistic perps who are overt becuz you can see them clearly as the enemy and you understand thier base urges and motivation. Its the incidious liars, the sheep, the Willful quiet murderers who are the most dangerous by far.

The American people are so completely insane after what I have lived through and seen as the functioning reality of the United States, that they are comparable to the sickest most oppressive Islamic regime on our planet. At least they are visible and hey, out there with thier insanities.

Its the Disneyland loving, purposefully naive, uneducated American that is the sickest of all.

Perhaps I have just stayed in Boston/Cambridge too long which is especially unbearable nowadays.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The area I am in is very dangerous and I should take notice of.the warnings I have been getting to leave.

Something..whatever it is that keeps me docile, weak and feminized in this.location just stopped-the clock said 12:22 am. Every night its the same. Its not as noticable if I am in a wooded area. This location has an iron grip on me and I can't leave. Its my hometown area what the hell am I supposed to do?

And it kills me to recall how many people in those Brookline and Watertown/Newton Narcotics Anonymous meetings seemed to know not.just cover stories but what the elite were doing to.the population. Many seemed to know about mind control. They also tried to tell me that they knew of a doctor who found an easier.cure for Hep C other than Interferon and stressed how he was run out of.the country and had to move to Mexico. What does NA have like every CIA or DOD spook in existence there who ever had a drug problem? I know one thing. That particular crowd were obsessed with keeping company in those meetings only with kids from rich families or connected people.

I wonder what really is going on with NA. I wonder if the very Masonic looking symbols and styles of AA were co opted to ensure that these meetings werent ever able to gain any power against the status quo or gov't. Like infiltrated by informants.spooks moles cops etc. So it makes it especially easy to go after a TI when its time for the person to be destroyed. The perps have been.there all along.

Im getting very weakened here per usual. It seems sensible for me to get warnings to take all my stuff outta here and never have anything to do.with MA ever again. This place will only ensure I remain an overweight sickly nobody as long as I live here. They did it to my mother and they honestly believe they are going to do it to me.

Been getting alot of dreams lately and visions of living with my.mother at my grandmothers house. That place in Waltham which is nothing but a chemical waste cesspool nowadays but my family can't accept that reality and get the hell out of there.

This system wants TIs dead and buried. Whether that means literally or in other ways.

Black spot on back of leg. It would be such a damn cliche if it were malignant.

I am not worried. Never was never will be. That info foe book will go public in one form or another before anything takes me out.

And I know Valhalla exists and waits for me. Does it still count if you are slain by your enemies slowly with tech and treachery as opposed to outright? Something keeps me calm with the thought of someplace like that in nature..that it does exist.

I know fighting to deliver this information is right no.matter the cost.

I know what the cops and whoever is doing in this location. And I know what that selfish bitch mother of mine wants..even though its not her fault she's like that: the want me to live with her so I can take care of her in old age.

Gen Xers- we babysat them when they were on drugs when we were little and.now we are.supposed to babysit them when they are old. Their self serving urges just have no end do they?

The controllers in this area think they have the right to shape people's lives. Maybe stupid people but I certainly wont allow it.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Not Realistic About My Surroundings

I am probably underestimating the power of.this system in the USA and the nature of this culture altogether.

Daily now I get flashes within my mind's eye of the people supposedly involved in this, those that are really responsible for destroying my life. It'd mostly some of Jake's powerful mentors, my mother and other local people.

This system especially wants me to hurry up and tell what I know about my mother and her part in this.

And I never considered that locally the cops could use locals as a means of control. I am just sick of thinking about the cops in MA. Especially the original precincts that were involved. I just don't care..is it actually possible that the police forces of the United States of America are working in conspiracy? Or are they simply providing local support for what is essentially the work of larger more powerful state actor?

I suppose I am supposed to realize at some point that I will never be left alone and that an entire nation has been brainwashed to percieve me a certain way and treat me a certain way.

That the USA can't be trusted. That when you finally outgrow American culture that you cannot go home again. America as it is and as it functions realistically is not available for you any longer...which is why I am probably being pushed to leave the US.

It seems that once yer out here its over. People say America is a forgiving country but it doesn't seem so. I think it depends on who we are talking about.

Sure the US took in Sarah Fergusen after scandal but that's becuz America loves celebs and tarnished royalty are brought down just enough to be on a level they can grasp. In my case however I was not in any position that Americans would admire or want to assist in a fall from out of spite. Many seem to misunderstand and despise me from the get go. They honestly believe that these new technologies provide a means of easy control over the poor as well as us being playthings for them. That people can be made into toys.

I really want to have the faith in other humans to believe that I am simply surrounded by perps so regularly due to not having the resources to escape, that it simply appears as if everybody is in on this...that if I wrote books or gave lectures that people would hear me that are NOT in on it.

Damn it..this is a really expensive 'secret govt project' as my dad put it (which is what got him labeled allegedly).

The Last Few Days- GS Is To Prevent Artists and The Like From Existing

Letseee.. my day has consisted of an ideation and vision of my old career criminal friend and the idea was that I had a much better life with her so why dont I return to that.

Then it was the daily 'Jake is thinking about you' and possibly wants to get back with me and I should do that...

Then it was visions of Berkley CA and San Fran and shouldnt I go back and live there its so much more conducive to my personality and my lifestyle.

Yesterday and a few days ago it was repeated ideations to go back to live in Las Vegas, with visions of course as my personality and the lifestyle I want is possible out there not here.

Yesteday I woke up to a blast of a vision of UMass Boston, once again. Right after I opened my eyes.

Just moments ago transfering some MP3 files, I had internet off on phone and computer. I kept getting threatning ideations concerning the prediction that i would never get my book written due to the fact I WILL be in a car accident soon. This felt like it was to force me to get online at that very moment, in order to relieve the fear of this harassing prediction, by revealing it on this blog. Of course it seemed like it was very important to get me to go online while all my equipment was plugged into computer.

That has been my day today. This system is constantly trying to get me on the road again, usually with ideas that dont make sense, like still pushing for Oregon. Even though its wayyy too moldy there, and Berkeley is out of the question as when I was there I was on antibiotics constantly due to aquiring a condition where yellow crap was constantly coming out of my lungs and it ceased once I left the area. Cali is cesspool of weird diseases and it feels unhealthy there. My allergies are much worse there. Forget it.

I am now getting the feeling that much of what is being done now is to slowly and carefully bait me into a false sense of security so that I keep talking crazy and writing crazy things in my blogs and making crazy claims. Which of course I consistently disregard becuz I know too much embarassing information about certain things. It could be the feds still working it for the factions who want to get rid of me. They try to trick you into revealing information. I think that tricking you into revealing information is thier only goal in life- that and pushing a Target to suicide. They seem obsessed with the TI. Silencing, controlling and discrediting.

In one of the tents I heard one of the kids who squats at Harvard. She said "So its EVERYONE, and as long as you dont get caught?"... This kid I kinda dont trust has been coughing twice in weird patterns and he started doing that once he had seen it was me outside his tent at that squat that night.

Last night I overheard him speaking to another male about "Real hard working American women". So he squats outside with hippie like people but he's really a conservative? Young men have been one of the worst sources for gang stalking. They are too young to understand the finer tuning of politics and economy- the deceptions, black markets and sublties involved in the world we live in. Young people are often stuck on a certain ideology, which is what causes them to war. Older people can clearly see that life is not that cut and dry and that there are alot of complexities in the design that makes up any reality like politics, society etc.

This is why I believe there are so many willing and determined young people involved in gang stalking. They are stupid, young and simply do NOT know any better. All they know how to do is make war. And the designers of these campaigns are much wiser than that....which is why perps are meaningless and must be ignored, unless its one of those real scary pros- like Eddie Cox (Hand) from LA. THAT should be noted and certainly watched out for.

Stupid people trying to impress, be part of something or change the nature of females or older women are negligible- bigtime. Any male that tries to change the nature of women is spinning his wheels, but thats what youth is for.

I hope sincerely I am mistaken. I hope that my paranoia caused mostly by lack of sleep, sex, touch and a missing vitamin and herb regimine is what is causing me to take things out of context and consider them in the context of my horrible situation.

The other day some black dude on a crowded Red Line who messed with me and I told him off proper- in the end of the altercation he tried getting out of not being the victor by saying "Your life is so miserable anyway..." that it doesnt matter. Made me wonder if its one of the many members of the general public who seem to know about my situation but arent perps or if it was a perp and it was a set up. This is what is done to ALL Survivors of high level programming: every time I get too much of this and its starts to eat away at me which its designed to do, I think to Cathy Obrien's statement that there was a time when she thought everyone knew about mind control. That every one was in on these campaigns.

Its hard to gauge just how many people do know about this becuz since Bush it seems that alot more of the general public know who the TI is as percieved as being targeted but they cannot possibly know the true circumstances, they seem more to be involved in Cause stalking or community watch type things or believe cover stories. They dont seem smart or truly black hearted enough-like genuinely Satanic enough, to understand the mind control slavery part of this. Programming, MK Ultra etc. Could a large faction of the public be recruited to assisting in what began with Nazi human experimentation?

More likely its part of the pathetic and laughable attempt at this New Church Of Satan concept- Satanism for YUPpies or marketing a watered down version to the masses so they will assist in the agendas of the true overlords. I dont want to use 'Satanic' so much becuz alot of this has also come from Christians pushing god, the Catholic Church etc. Which again makes it hard to figure out.

Its hard to keep in mind that religion is used in as mind control.

What would I gain from finalizing my decision on who is responsible for the events of the last years? If I go with Satanists then that only leaves me with Christians, yet, I have experienced such insanity from those factions as well. Why would Christians want to see a person terrorized, just so they can become super Christian in order to deal with how much evil they have had to process, becuz that has been part of my campaign as well. Why would Satanists assist Christians? It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. NONE AT ALL.
The only thing that could be going on there is that those two factions have decided to do battle over who gets control of the person...which means both should be dismissed as a choice as well as to delegate responsibility to for all the events within the gang stalking campaign.

This started as Nazi's trying to create a super man and that is still what its about most likely. It could also be that Zionism is actual responsible or even the much talked about Illuminati, whatever that is supposed to mean.

It doesnt matter who is in on it or who is behind it. It could ALL be a huge psychological test as part of ongoing experimentation or behavior modification.

Recently within this area I have had alot of reflection that is not my own. If I behave a certain way I am actually fed information as to why I am like that or have those behaviors, and it couldnt possibly be coming from my own mind as my mind never worked that way. I was a pretty oblivious artist, thinker type who wanted to become a councilor. No one is that proficient at psychoanalyzing themselves. Its coming from an outside source.

It reminds me of those old feedback methods for psycho therapy, and its totally destroying my mind, imagination and ability to be in touch with myself and truly reflect.

Someone told me yesteday that America doesnt turn out alot of great thinkers. I held back on telling him there is a covert system in place that destroys such people, not that America does not produce such people. He said that corporations- working a corporate job ensures that people dont have time to create artwork.

I now realize that this is one of the main functions of gang stalking. To ensure that the TI has to work thier ass off everyday being targeted or like me doing activism, so they dont have time to become artists etc.

Maybe thats why I have been being given the idea that its very important right now to get out of America. To leave asap, take only what you can carry, ditch the phone and get out NOW. What is going to happen soon that will be so disasterous that I must flee my country? I suppose I should have left years ago. Perhaps its time I become very realistic about America. But if I leave it will be just like it is here, that is what Targets say who leave the country, so what would the point be?

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I don't feel well lately. I feel like my mind is tearing apart from my being. Brain from skull. I can't stop compulsively eating.

I can't get out of the state until next month, I don't have alot of computer access and many of the kids in Harvard Sq I've become chained to that place, I don't trust them.

Nor do I trust those idiots at the Womens Center. Its totally staffed by college kids now and I can't get a moments peace becuz a very nasty smelly client there has always known about this and made comment to that affect and she is now playing games with conversation content.

Let's just say that I got fat over the winter and now that's keeping me here and so now everyone is coming after me.

I am almost completely beaten down. I feel totally disrespected and with no internal.power or strength left.

I cannot seem to break the remote influence that is preventing me from getting a lawyer and I only am beginning to get medical care becuz I pushed myself to go to the ER last night.

I also don't feel as if I......I totally went offline just now. That is something specific to MA the western metro Boston area specifically. It's always happened only when I live here and nowhere else.

Oh..I also cannot seem to guarentee my not suiciding anymore based on my writing my book keeping me alive. That no longer works due to my feeling so unwell physically and mentally.

I will leave a partial list of the people involved in my case who have the most blood on their hands in case anything happens to me at least people will know.

Really Dumb YouTube Comments That You Dont Get To See...

I am going to start posting these for examples of what NOT to deal with as well as humor. Its so obviously perps. Could be very naive TI's.

"How come I can't comment on here? Hmmmm? Who's running the approval? I know what it's like to be organized stalked. You just have to tell the stalkers to kiss off! I mean it and literally. Don't let them see you sad and don't be sad. They're only like satan, nothing. Put your make up on, dress up and be happy! Don't let "nothing" get you down. They are NOTHING! Hot air!
Pending approval
Spiritjustice 6 days ago"

"Stop worrying about the stalkers, no need to worry. Go out and be beautiful not tired. The people who participate in stalking are going to Hell. No worries. Let God deal with them. Put your make-up on and be beautiful everyday and tell them to kiss off! Believe me they're going to hell cause all they are, are dirivatives of satan. Why are you letting satan control you? He's nothing and they're nothing because all they are is working for him. Don't give satan the time of day.
Pending approval
Spiritjustice 6 days ago"

The Military Succumbing To Ghetto Virus

Dysfunctional African American ghetto culture virus is replicating in the military as well.

(I've spent too long in Massachusetts this year, haven't I?)

Just throw them on the front lines or into a potential capture situation and see how long it takes them to figure out which is going to save their lives: their training or the illusions of power and grandeur gotten from a culture formed in one of the safest richest countries in the world...which by the way was ALLOWED to flourish, grow and spread mostly due to the CIA finding gangs useful in their agendas (see Iran Contra). Also in any instance where these people try to go off on their own in business all of a sudden the feds are on their asses and their being entrapped and set up etc.

So..where's the power without The Man, whom of you don't play ball with at top levels you don't exist.
They'll figure it out real quick.

Ghetto Culture Destroying Civil Rights:

Bronfman Manipulating/Controlling Black Artists:

Monday, June 13, 2011

Jewish Group Upset Over Je-rry Springer Invite To Event

When people complain about or monitor 'the jews' or Zionist interests I personally am aware its not all Jews everwhere. Much of the time its entertainment types or criminal conneted who are comfortable with exploiting other human beings. Cultural or ethnically lived Judaism is much like ethnic mafia or organized crime who are Catholics.

With so much hate in the world now and induced divide and conquer its hard to not start just blaming certain groups. If yer a target of sophisticated psych warfare and you begin to see these patterns in society its very difficult not to become paranoid or generalize.

This article should help a bit. People do still have sense:


Sunday, June 12, 2011

Water World

What is this bullsh*t I keep seeing about the world being flooded? These visions I get sometimes. The entire earth is going to become mostly ocean. What the hell is that?

I think I liked the idea of Mad Max Road Warrior apocolyptic future in a desert with punk rock primitives and muscle cars as oppossed to a watery end like the
movie Waterworld.

I hate water. I mean I have a natural affinity for it and forced myself to learn to swim unlike my mother, but I never liked boats or the ocean out of fear. Drowning just seems like the worst end possible. Ironically something in my nature is accustomed to the ocean and boats but something in Me, my soul or some memory does NOT like water. I cannot imagine being out somewhere with no land as a point of reference...actually I can imagine it. I just don't like it.

I don't want the earth covered with ocean. It sucks. That is just such a lame shitty ending for Man. Its boring really.

I keep receiving this and I don't like it.
Its getting very hard to function. It always was but I used to get more torture and agonizing emotional pain but got alot more done.
ALOT more.

Lately in past month or two Ive been like a blank. I cannot feel anything really which is NOT normal. I notice my joints are.sore and I feel very worn physically like I have been working out extremely hard but I don't feel this way on Sundays or holidays. I think on top of being targeted specifically, that the general state of the city being polluted with chemical and electromag pollution as well as overcrowding is weakening me physically. Its not a 'feeling' of weakness its a real and truly felt physical state of the body.

Being tired and overeating are two daily focuses as well as being confused over the attempted mental organization of the simplest to do list.

Its like they will do anything to get Targets to behave.

The other thing that upsets me about this system is the wasted time and energy on fighting. There are so many people who need help or things that could be being improved and worked on and instead one has to mess around with this nonsense constantly which is probably on purpose. America must stay eternally f*cked, corrupt, inefficient and wasteful to survive.

By the way I have seen a few imitators of my work out there. Here's a clue: only use swear words for effect, like an artist uses a specific color of paint out of character with whatelse is on the canvas not use obsenities every post. Geez.

A Woman Of My Word

Woke up to running memories of Lou Gheppettti telling me "YOUR mother is sick" and then running over moments of things she had said.

What was it that she did? Was it only something within the context of gang stalking or was that observation meant to cover her actions over many years time? I kept wondering what exactly caused that comment. I can imagine that to the outside world my maternal family functions that way and appears so.to the outside world. Min control slavery is what's sick actually.

That black statie (MA state police) came back this morning at 6:15 am. He walked by as I was walking out and looked and said "you're a woman of your word". Of course I am. Before this all came down the people around me would tell you that..except maybe for Jake as we lied to each other about things often.
But it was known to both parties.

I wonder what he will say if he ever reads my story and realizes just how true that is. Letting my own life and future be destroyed in order to fulfill this programmed obsession- this obligation to write this book.

And I got strong ideations to call a lawyer again.

Being Sunday I may be able to get some things done but by tomorrow it'll be the same as it is the rest of the week: even the simple tasks of daily living will be a chore to complete. Ill be tired and confused much of the time.

I see myself as a hero or freedom fighter..or someone programmed to complete a mission, which I know is literally true but only evident from inside my own mind and experiences.
Its funny that the rest of America only sees a 'homeless person'. Its laughable, with the amount of info I know and with the factions that both protect me and want to destroy me.

It also now makes sense why the Homeless population is so marginalized and misrepresented in modern society.

In this day and age its barbaric to have conditions as they are for The Homeless and sex workers. However knowing now that intel agencies and other state actors and ritual abusers/cults hide their activities and victims within these populations makes the way they are represented, treated and thus percieved by the public very understandable (but not acceptable).

Friday, June 10, 2011

I find it hard to believe that this system has been chasing me
around the country just to force an aneurysm to burst.

But that is who I am dealing with.

Also it may be to test new tech or implants..and to push me to physical limits with such a condition to test coping methods..

I really wanna get my story sorted out before that or anything else happens.

What needs to be understood here is that we are dealing with a level of people who never got over the idea that others exist to serve them.

These kinds of people not only come.from money that was made from exploiting others they continue to do so with no problems whatsoever.

I get ideations that this entire situation is more connected to Julia than to MK Ultra or programming.
That her people were the ones trying to kill me..which makes little sense.

As far as my situation goes this must be bullshit then: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posse_Comitatus_Act

And the concepts in that MindWar paper don't sound like the military can't keep law and order within the USA. In fact this entire experience shows that MindWar has become a reality.

I wish the things I experienced were not that extreme but they were.

America is too big and far too powerful to NOT be corrupt or exploitative.

If what happened to me, the Natives, the African Americans and various other victims of abuse and exploitation can occur on US soil then the laws on the books are useless nor are they heeded (I am now getting a vision of George the Younger, Bush as I wrote that.) Never has any medical or acedemic ever been prosecuted according to law concerning human experimentation.

Sometimes get this idea I should go to law school. No way...

When I was being targeted very heavily with constant hard core gang stalking and tech in Buffalo NY in 2007 or so, I was in this hotel room outside the city paid for by human services. Total perps.

I was being seriously damaged at this time as well as I was still reeling from mycotoxicosis (a condition due to mold exposure). I was functioning on what programming was intact and I personally was being driven out of my mind. I was acting it too.

This place must've been totally wired becuz in this hotel room I got hit with constant non stop runs of 'celebrities that are watching or monitoring you' visions etc. One of them was Rudi Guliani, who due to hearing me verbally speak of a dream I had frequently since late teenagehood- my life was this big mansion on this hill. Many rooms though I always got to see only the first few and the second floor. Upon entering through the main doors it had the classic two staircases on each side. But on this first floor to the left was a room full of books on the left and the right side room had more guns and subautomatics than you can imagine. I don't even know what these weapons looked like to begin..point being that the ideation I was fed was that Guliani upon hearing this commented (thought I should become a lawyer-books and guns I guess). However what was so damaging was the interfacing. I also experienced a quick 'online' presence from Dinero who, upon hearing me use a racial slur went 'offline' and was no longer intrigued or interested in observing.

I like any of you reading this, would believe I was insane or mentally ill-if it were not for the in person gang stalking and psychological warfare.

Also none of this occurred before Bush got into office and when Obama got in these torturous conditions improved.
(I never realized until right now that Obama is being used to take the heat and the hate for Bush and his administration. Its obvious to me right now but due to the whole nation being brainwashed and abused that is the sentiment.Myself included. We are totally taking all of this out on Obama.)

And my sanity was never in question before that federal investigation of a connected career criminal I was associated with. Which of course was used as the cover story to make me blab so I would be killed and conveniently another MK Ultra victim would be dead.

The power of the tech I have experienced over many years is ridiculously advanced.

The files I stored mentally were wiped by one entity that is very smooth and advanced. (Two cops just came over and sat down behind me. Usually they sit out front. This bakery has newly been remodeled so it might be a tactic to keep the homeless at a minimum..then again it might be to check out what I am doing or try to screw this up. Remember when I tell on this system I free myself and break the hold of years of brainwashing. We are dealing with MC. I often wonder if even cops fully know their actions and the motives behind those actions completely. I've seen way to much shit and I trust absolutely no one. This isn't typical crime stuff here. We are talking about MILABs, classified tech and breaking high level programming. This system doesn't play games and I know for a fact human lives are like flies to them. Completely meaningless...I did just have a drug dealer fresh out of jail come.to my table and chat. Its probably normal flatfoot stuff. It might be good to have cops on my ass or criminals even. Keeps the perps away...maybe that is why I subconshussly do have such people.around me. Programming- who knows fully why we act out as we do. I know someone wants this book written at the cost of my own life.)

Anyway, the mindwipe was done so smoothly and in a perfect timely manner. As I have posted before the original programmers are artists. (Though it still sucks).

Must Stay Outside City If Want To Stay In MA

I realize now what my mistake was- I tried to make Harvard Sq my homebase. I stayed there too long.

I don't know at this point if I can stay anywhere for long. I am now quite sure that staying within inner city limits is not possible. Purely becuz of the pollution as well as the electromagnetic pollution and being targeted specifically the electromagnetic capabilities within any American city.

Harvard Sq was ok for last summer. I should have left in Sept or November.

One thing that has been accomplished is that I have become able to fully deal with what happened. I don't feel I have to use coping skills as much anymore.

I also feel that air/chemical pollution also has alot to do with how if feel in downtowns of big cities.

Its sad I can't go into the city due to pollution, electromag and heavy gang stalking. And there are so many kids who just look like students who are in on this there either they are recruited operatives (CIA on campus etc) or pros or there is a large percentage of young people who know me and the situatioj which is more frightening than the latter two choices. And way more annoying becuz they do things like use head hanging as a tactic and other things to send the message that I am not allowed in the city anymore.

Harvard Square is a very depressing place this season. Its not fun like last year. There are alot less crazy interesting people coming through alot less creativity is there. Also I have become serious about trying to take action either to get justice or go to college.

I notice I am not in writhing emotional pain daily anymore. That has ceased just recently.
Well that certainly does make things easier