“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Might Have Been Dosed While Typing This @ MIT/ Efforts Being Blocked By Remote Influence in the Area

I dont know how to do this. How to I get a lawyer and what lawyer is going to help me with such huge enemies and no money or connections?

But I keep getting ideations to get a lawyer. Its like yet another ploy to keep me in this area instead of leaving due to bad weather and moldy shelters. To ruin my health and break me down even more. Becuz as long as I stay here in this season I am at the mercy of the shelter system as well as within the city limits I am targeted so hard now that I am exhausted all the time and am experiencing things like my tooth cavitation flaring up daily as well as scary things happening to my heart. Its also due to a lack of vitamins becuz i cant take anything now from that allergic reaction induced by Bactrim.

I can feel my teeth getting worse and worse and it seems directly connected to remote influence tech in this area. And during the school year at Harvard the remote influence is much worse than in the summer where its actually comfortable, which of course explains the heavy gang stalking presence of in person harassment in the summer in that area.

I keep getting this idea that if I leave now it will break up what I am trying to do like get a lawyer when in fact staying here I get very little done due to the circumstances here I cannot control.

I dont know why every year I come back here I get stuck due to old memories and unfinished business and somehow I believe if I stay long enough I can get closure.

Im good at traveling but I always get stuck in a place that is not convenient seasonally. Then I end up having to run out in the cold or the heat. Yeah, today I can make sense of this but thats becuz its Sunday and there is little remote influence in the Boston/Cambridge area on Sundays and I have documented this for months now as a consistent pattern. Perhaps by tomorrow I'll be able to stick to my plans but by Wednesday I'll have turned to confused and mush only able to sleep as much as possible or focus on eating to feel better. I have got to go just and I have got to learn to be disciplined even under any and all circumstances to stick to a tight schedule of North in Summer and South in Winter unless I can get housed somewhere with people I can trust which I cant see happening.

Its hard to live in that other alter and make friends only to have to leave. Becuz really I should be in a stable life by now and I know it so I get attached to people and really just want to stay put and relax and get this taken care of once and for all. If I cant get justice then I want to put my story out to screw whoever f*cked with me. Everyone can stick thier nose in the air all they want and pretend that I will forever be systematically ignored I KNOW that expose is going to do some damage no matter how much the people at risk try to ignore it or supress it.

I also want to find a program that trains, educates and assists poor Americans trying to get the hell out of here becuz I promised myself I would NOT be here if Romney gets in due to he and his family members being involved during the federal investigation years and his being favored by Bush. When remote influence is heavy I attempt to do research on such a program and end up either forgetting or feeling its heavy weight and overwhelming and then get confused or forget and just cannot get it up to get that done. And its obvious from being targeted.

(just now a fragrant smell came into the computer area. I did not see any women around who may be passing perfumed. There is a new female librarian behind the desk but I also feel dumbed down and now unable to think as deeply. As of moments ago when contact was made with that smell I became aware of a change in my conshusness. I now notice that i am forgetful and have lost my train of thought. I did the best I could to use a kerchief or breath on my coat but it was just too late and I am not leaving the computer. Like I have posted repeatedly when there isnt any tech to manage targets there are other means used. And there is no way they can harass me in this library as its not built conveniently for that and they wont tolerate it in here either.
GS is basically a three point system. In person harassment, chemical warfare/mind control used and remote influence through technologies. And occasionally as during the heavy harassment during Bush there is some contact with individual human beings in person that is psychic warfare. Its very infrequent and its really obvious as well. But just stick by the first three as a point of reference.

I can no longer remember what I was going to write about next or what the whole big picture was about. It could have been delivered by someone walking by behind me very easily. During Bush they used spray bottles outright to deliver chemical warfare. The effects of what I just came into contact now is a general dumbing down of the mind as well as bringing on a slight depression or even a lack of feeling. Its all about taking away depth. No deep or complex mental processes, no deep emotional inner dimensions.

The lobotomy continues I guess. And this area is infamous for doing that anyway. It used to happen all the time at BU library as well as in Kenmore Sq. Its documented somewhere.

I have to stay logical and also reason that it may be some chemical in that fragrance affected me adversely and it may have been happenstance but I am just very chemically sensitive due to having to be around mold here lately due to snow.)

Post By Text- Lost it in Central Sq again

-Lost it in Central Square again. I am often disturbed by the black male immigrants working the cashier jobs now in Central and Harvard (just that one CVS near liquor store. The north Africans in the 7-11 are wonderful to me and the foriegn kid in the CVS across from that reflects the sunny attitude of whatever culture he is from.)
-Dnt know what part of africa or haiti
-They from but piss me off 2 no end. Too nosy and attempt 2 gain dominance by direct looking in2 females eyes.
-Alot of black American males in central sq r also 2 nosy and attempt this shit but 1 good hard look lets them know they r not welcome.
-This only happens in central sq. Cambridge and @ 1 store in harvard sq! The rest of the city of boston seems 2 know how 2 mind their own business
-This is also why i lose my composure in central as opposed 2 any other location. And i get very nasty there usually. Very aggressive.

Unfortunately its the only place I can go to get services I need in this weather. Which is why I never should have stayed here into the snow. But breaking the bonds of remote influence is almost impossible without resources. And the more tired you are the more u r going to act out and sound like a psycho or mentally ill or just complaining.
Took trainride out umass. Felt even better but asked myself y the hell did i stay so long in the snow? Stupid
The latest gang stalking seems 2 consist of a very low key subtle aproach where a large number of people dressed in blak & red look @ me wherever i go with
Stupid looks on their faces. This seems like another way 2 deny privacy. 4 such people 2 constantly connect w me using that tactic
Due 2 the T.I being sensitized 2 these colors as now being symbolic of gng stlking perps.
I now believe the wearing of blak and red is indeed organizational but is used 2 anchor certain T.I's & then 2 keep them controlled.
Able 2 think clearly. No intrusive thots, urges 2 eat constantly, obsessions w sex, confusion, forgetfulness
Must b sunday. Relief from effects of being targeted. Not exhaustd pain
Today I was in a building that everone had vacated without my knowledge. I got ready to leave and I just lay there taking in the quiet. No computers, no people just silence and it was in one of those old solid houses that seems to protective against whatever tech is out there now that permeates every major metro area of every major city in the USA from 6 am to 12 midnight approximately.

It was amazing to feel as I did in the late 90's before this all occurred. So quiet, so easy for me to go through my thoughts and the ability to think straight had returned which I never usually get, havent in years. I knew myself again. I was truly alone with myself. It was private. It was reality not the faking I do every day in order to pass under the radar and network so I can get this book written.

I think whoever is doing this was very jealous of my self love, my ablility to consort with myself. They seem to want me to be like stupid average untalented people who seem to just fake through life with a role persona that they have picked and are totally dishonest to themselves everyday. To hate other human beings but have to surround ones self with them daily. Hating them of course due to being tortured for years by human beings since 2003 and also for the fact I get no time to console myself alone. And the person I am socially is just another alter I have created to survive this ordeal. Its almost totally a fake filter I live through while internally I have to suffer with the reality of what really went on, holding onto it so I can write it down one day and organize years of documentation to write up the time line that should have been.

I am more sick and fake today than I ever was in my apartment, drawing, writing, talking and experimenting and finding out who I was and planning to grow from that realization. I simply used my alter system to give society what they seemed to approve of in a person. I am most like a sociopath now than I ever was previously. But I keep my true self and my true world hidden until it can be exposed properly so that it can never again be denied by anyone.
Also my persona I live through now is very much a creation of the tech that is used daily to manage the public and myself as an individual Target. It has been formed via what seems to be the norm of what is forced on me during the day. Daily I am rendered docile as well as feminine and stupid- my intelligence is not as readily available to me as it is after midnight. So I have played along and formed a persona that can get things done while I work on what is real internally. All I am doing is using the ruins of the internal programming system under my own Will and to survive prosecution in the society I exist in right now as it is very very oppressive and destructive. This of course is extremely painful internally as I am always aware of and containing the pain, suffering and memories of the true situation.

This is what behavior modification does to people and it is the reality of mechanisms of behavior modification. The only difference is that in order to fulfill my agenda I keep my real Self alive along with recorded history as well as refuse to totally take part in activities that would seal me off in this persona, which would be considered a truly successful behavior modification of a person I assume.

There is a difference between behavior modifying a person that needs such deprogramming and re conditioning and someone who is programmed and compartmentalized. For some reason the theory of the gang stalking system seems to be that if they destroy enough of the internal programming structure as well as put the person through normal severe behavior modification/brainwashing program that somehow this will result in a totally reprogrammed and modified human being.
The system is totally barbaric due to its insisting on destroying inner structures instead of re arranging them in respect to the art works that they are. This is a typical military approach as in destroy then occupy then introduce the norms from the conquers culture. It would be like trying to build a new art museum by bombing the old one and occupying it then demanding it become a Starbuck's instead. This might work if it were a building but we have here a human Will and a spirit. Both of which this system seeks to crush due to them both simply being in the way of thier goals. You see how this is oppressive and evil. And becuz its all internal and I still look ok and the outside, even with health problems becoming worrisome, your average member of the public believes that I will be allright, that I will come out if it someday and why dont I just go to school or get a job. Alot of people have no idea of the levels of torture. Those that do you can tell as they look at you as if you are indeed very damaged but still they are all afraid to help you. That is why this is so hopeless regardless of the stupid perps who try to get out of responsiblity by telling me that the difference between me and all the other homeless is that "You have hope". NO its just taking longer to destroy me, do so much physical damage that I become truly mentally ill or drive me to suicide.

I simply put off suicide to get an expose written. How is that 'hope'? This is how sick, delusional and in denial this society really is. Its all about perception based on physical looks. Which means if hte gang stalking system can keep torturing you and hiding it behind the way you look or carry themselves they will keep doing so til you are dead. And the same people that wrote you off as having hope will never wonder what happened to you when you are dead.

I had informants at Pine St telling me that they dont put suicides on the news, just saying that out of nowhere in 2006. Why is it so important to keep my body alive?

What they also might be doing is testing or just using this system that allows a human being to be tortured and to get through horrible circumstances. More connected to building the superman, which would make sense considering my mother's status as a survivor of the MK Ultra connected experiments. Becuz as I recall that is something the Nazi's were very interested in. And its something that I am sure the US military is very interested in.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Perp Tactics or Just Male Stupidity?

There has been this trend in the co ed shelter I am in for 2 weeks, that these older guys will sit next to me and while they are doing whatever they do on the computer they talk incessently to stress me out and distract me. I personally think that as of right now its in the perp zone, positive for that kind of motiviation for activity. However, it could just be the kind of real stupidity shared among desperate, older males that probably dont get any. And since there are a few guys here from the time frame years ago when the harassment was quite active I wouldnt doubt that all it takes is some idiot who only knows the cover story to tell them just the juicy bits of that and viola! instant formula for harassment by a little cabal of males.

And then there is the black guy who, during the daylight hours is pretty friendly with me and I think of as someone I like to talk to out in the street but at night he gets weird. He will just sit there looking very tired, (probably drunk) and just look at me usually from a point of view where I catch him doing this long after he as been there for a while. He'll either sit behind me when I am on the computer or he'll sit in front of the TV set but facing away from it towards me. Every time I catch him looking he looks away nervously. He's just weird when he does this at night and its not the same person as during the day. Its very unsettling.

I cant quite figure out if this is just normal creepy weirdness for weirdo loser guys or if men by nature just stalk women no matter what the circumstances.
Or is it due to something they hear about a women or pheromones...or is it gang stalking outright and due to my being so worn down from a few health conditions as well as by the weather I am not noticing it and it is purposeful gang stalking to wear me down as usual?

What would the end result be? It only makes me tired, drained and want to eat all the time out of nerves. But this area of the country and this small area specifically has always been home to men who want to keep wearing me down into being a nervous wreck or seem to want to keep at me so I am constantly leaking energy or being drained. I dont know if its just a Boston thing, due to the very subtle sexist undertones here where men feel so threatened just as they did by my mother before me. They hate me for the most part they f*cking resent the sh*t out of me.

In Walgreen's Central sq today two white dudes were behind me, kinda straight lookin and I looked back to see if the pharmacy was open. They had to receive this by once again not being able to mind thier own business and becoming engaged with this. I know my vibes were right as they always are due to the fact that the cashier was a big woman who then looked behind me and stared them the f*ck out of whatever territorial bullsh*t they were pulling. She totally dominated. Which is why most likely she was a very big lesbian or in fact a male who was transgender who looked very convincing as a woman. Either way we had a wonderful conversation about my coins I recieved pan handling that were from Shang Hi as she informed me they are usually not allowed out of the country- best of all while she told this to me she made everyone behind me wait. HA ha HA.

What gives? Why am I so hunted by males? its worse now than when I was young, much thinner and model pretty. I just cannot figure any of this out. Is it American males who act this way or is it just this area? Is it gang stalking related and they either know the cover story or they are agents locally either way, do they hate me for staying sane and staying alive? As well as I am going to write a book to fry thier asses and their bosses asses as well, but that is besides the point. These f*ckers hate me the way this system hated my mother. And if they dont want me to make things worse , which I could, then they better all back the f*ck off in day to day activity.

In case these fools havent noticed I am alot smarter and alot bolder than my mother and hers. I could set up a sopa box in Central Sq and just start loudly giving names, picadillos and other tasty info about every single person that I have ever known, including thier most valuable work mules who pay off well.
I cud read numbers off my phone book. If its the FBI

Friday, January 28, 2011

Text By Post Harassment In Central Sq Cambridge MA

-Perps coming out rite now while panhandling. Central sq canbridge c.V.S (4:35 pm)

-They stopped and i done now (4:58 pm)

(Two black guys mid 30's or so from around Central Sq way walked by me and one said "that one has no rights at all, like ----- think ---- supposed to" and the other one quietly said "what that one right theea?" and they did the whole arrogance thing. It seems they keep trying to get me into some sort of mind controlled state where I eventually go with a black male. I have been beaten down so many times with that ideation and on occasions it was done so heavily that it became totally obvious it was from an outside force not from anything internal. And what I did to counter it showed that to be a reality as well. There is a good reason that white or race resistance or supremacist groups in MI and other states have either assisted me or have told me that "Well at least you wont be being chased around the country by a bunch of n*ggers". Firstly whats interesting is that she knew that was going on. Secondly, what forces could be so great in the USA where black Americans have such resources to be chasing me around the country when in fact they are still portrayed as in need of assistance constantly? Is it black gangs in the military, or what? What faction has that much money that they can have that much power in the USA while still crying poor mouth? I think that Americans are very naive as to where all the money goes that black gangs, now full blown syndicates is going as well as thier special relationship to the military, the CIA and the other organized crime groups in order for them to do business as they do.

Unfortunately, from the reality I have seen, how much man power they have and how much money they seem to have at their disposal. If not that, they certainly have an entire huge network. Its probably just an arm of the govt and it probably hails back from the underground railroad days and it stayed in place to be used as intelligence or spying or what have you.

That isnt what disturbs me. What does is that in at least two separate cities on opposite coasts [SD Cali and Somerville/ Cambridge MA] I have experienced what seems like suggestion from mind control tech being used to push a pro African American agenda. In both instances it was being pushed that I become involved with black men intimately. I am very picky as to what I like sexually and it isnt black males. Its strictly blondes with blue eyes or Italians. No red heads, no blacks and a bunch of other kinds of men that dont fit my preferences.
This particular campaign as part of an entire behavior modification campaign seems to be using systematic e-rape or virtual rape along with complex psychological manipulations and the use of black males sexualizing humiliation while making contact with me as gang stalking perps to slowly wear me down into being brainwashed and coerced into becoming a girlfriend or wife of a black man. One example of this is that alot of the torture and harassment stopped and I felt at peace or a sense of no activity the one time I took a ride from a black trucker while hitchhiking. Once I was seen as being with this black male I noted that I felt not only inactivity from the system but I also felt reward given somehow that I finally took this route of action. As if I finally had taken some space or place where the system felt I belonged. Of course I was only getting a ride from this guy like all my rides. My trucker friends are old school guys that dont want to see anything happen to me and I am strictly NON commercial. Everyone can think what they want it matters little when the whole story comes out anyway.

I immediately sensed this was very dangerous considering it was brainwashing and not my own Will being done. I also discovered he was a perp, at least a trucker perp- one of those guys that messes with people on the CB and starts trouble. This is what also made me believe more in my theory that the trucker subculture has been destroyed by covert warfare and operatives causing chaos, such as ruining the CB culture. I have seen one of these jerks first hand and it is very insane what they are doing on that radio and its also very interesting that he was a vet from the US military. And it was all based on his resenting racism. He told me that after he showed me how crazy he was, which of course was after he asked me if I was into black men and I said flat out no, no way and dont ask or f*ck around with that notion again. Interesting how he exhibited all the sure signs of MPD or at least DID. The man that dropped me off due to my rejecting him in that restaurant was NOT the nice person who picked me up in his cab earlier that day. Total personality change. Could they be programming people say, in the military to come out and be total perps for the NWO? Its certainly a far out theory but with what many of us have seen concerning thier experiments on mind control, anything truly is possible.

So when I posted that first text the harassment was starting like it usually does in Central Sq with of course a black male presence and then lots of people doing very subtle stuff usually to make me feel out of place. That area is saturated with more perps than I have ever seen anywhere, other than say, St Louis MO and they were very overt.

While in SD Cali the mind control content I received in relation to the African American agenda had something to do with forcing feelings of sympathy concerning trying to get me to accept that blacks have had it harder than anyone else and in order to 'help' them, we all must sacrifice something. That the world will be a better place and wont I just give into this concept? It was reminiscent of the same pitch one gets off of an add for starving children, THAT kind of quick reach for the heart strings and pull while confusing one with other content sort of manipulation. I firmly put my Will forward emotionally and mentally and even went to an extreme by using slurs and concepts of racism that seemed to not only drive off that drivel but in fact caused a sort of sad feeling for whoever was perpetrating the ideation. As well as some healthy fear from whoever was on the other end as they realized that not everyone is easily brainwashed by the mind control that is now floating through the air, attacking our psyches in public spaces. I was on a bus for x's sake. Sitting on a damn bus and I have to listen to this bs, while I sleep outside in SoCal? WTF was that? I think I have sacrificed enough by now just to preserve my own truth and seek justice or at least revenge. And still they want to take more. I suppose they believe someone so beat down is going to be easily swayed. They dont understand that I am in the situation I am in due to NOT being beat down, due to refusing to be beat down and accept circumstances or thier lies.

If I am going to assist blacks in the homeless scene I am going to do so becuz they are family as homeless people not becuz they are black.
There is good reason that I feel more safe and secure in the middle of Roxbury than I ever will in Central Sq Cambridge. Becuz in the thick of a black neighborhood first of all people know how to mind thier own business pretty well. Secondly, they dont have whites to toy with and torment also they dont have rich whites tormenting them so there is no sick cycle of abuse based on hierarchy. And lastly they arent skulking around working for the rich white man's agenda by harassing his enemies or keeping his slaves or b*tches under control. Only in Cambridge MA could black people express their disloyalty to themselves and thier class allies as well as be such tools for the white elite agenda. I dont use the N word in Roxbury and thats not becuz I am afraid to get beat up its becuz I am not being f*cked with by houses slaves and that's all that seems to exist in Central Sq. What do you expect being in between Harvard and MIT?
They have been one of the most viscous places in the entire USA to me consistently and insist on continuing to jeopardize my mission and my prime directive with thier eternal dedication to thier white masters in city hall, the state house, the police station and the mob.

Never gonna happen. I dont want to marry or go out with a black man.
And due to this I appeal and ask for continued assistance from the powers that be who have assisted me thus far in staying true to my Will.
SOMEONE helped me today just based on those texts.
Maybe they think if they lean on me enough I'll go back to the adult entertainment industry and they can pimp me out or something. Well if that did ever happen I am afraid that there would be one less black pimp in the world very soon after.

I know that the perps read this blog especially to get ideas to fine tune the harassment. That little group at St Patricks is a testament to that. The reason I dont care is that nothing they do can break through a preset ideal I am trying to manifest into reality as well as simply my Will. They can only divert me and screw with my environment. While they suck energy off of me every time they feel they hurt me somehow. I actually recently observed a female go through the process of changing her hairstyle to something sexier as many male perps have done with getting mohawks after feeling they got to me or became handlers somehow. Its a tribal sign that they have power of the Target as well as if the TI is sexy they are sucking some off that off the person for themselves. Usually its people who are very unsexy and plain to begin with. This is more of an indication of the nature of these people as thieves in every sense of the word. If its anything to do with attempts at actual cult ritual I am going to laugh my ass off. Its so lame and easy to figure out as a symbol.

You have to understand that the people who are doing this are the same people in charge of slavery world wide in different countries in different incarnations for thousands of years. They know exactly what they are doing to achieve these predictable results.

Whats difficult is a few minutes later a huge scary black dude asks me directions, which may or may not have been part of the set up. He looks genuine. You can tell society has reduced him down to nothing for fear of him being a threat due to his size and his 'blackness'. He is more nervous and shy than a man his size should be.
Its then that you realize the fact you forgot in your previous interaction: that the blacks that act out as intimidation are more like thier slavemaster's were or slave handlers for the Man than they are truly 'black men' in society. The truly oppressed black man is shunned or nervous about just walking down the street. He is nervous, shy, and unfortunately living in a skin and hailing from a culture that has so many dirt bags and sell outs that he will never get a fair chance unless he knows how to kiss up to the system or was born with advantages.

Its frustrating to have to deal with Tweedle Dee and Tweeedle Dum who act more like Massa James than genuine true members of an oppressed culture and then deal with a genuinely nice person who seems also targeted by society for being big, scary and not able to kiss up.
And there is always something more Southern about perps like Tweedle Dee and Dum. It reminds me of my grandfather form Louisiana. The slow movements, the way the intimidation is pulled off, the way its done with slow moving mind control not really fast thinking like REAL Yankees. I often perceive that blacks who seem to have southern ways even if it registers as generations back are perhaps better at this kind of brainwashing. I can often even perceive these kinds of blacks as southern white men in a way. It may be that they have the DNA in them of thier own original oppressors, which then means that I am dealing with a connection to some of the worst and most brutal perpetrators of slavery known in the USA not to mention genocide of Native tribes. I have considered this for years when being harassed by blacks. There is something too familiar about their actions, thier body build, thier facial expressions and the way its done all molasses slow and sugary that is distinctly NOT Yankee.
Blacks up north do not respect the white man but they do to a point in Boston as the system is set up that way here. So I can only assume they are acting on behalf of a white, rich entity or some other faction that has power in this area that is not black based.

I can also now safely say that there is something to my theory about blacks who come from down south in thier ancestry being distinct from blacks from the north and this is something one needs to consider when being targeted heavily by blacks. Especially if you are a female TI and the perps are usually male and thier goal is to hypnotize and mind control you into submission either sexual or other wise.

Race would not be such an issue in the gang stalking campaigns but with such outrageous attempts at pushing agendas through mind control technologies as well as making sex become something used as temptation to gain control not only over my Will but over me as a TI it has to be brought up. Other TI's have completely different circumstances. Others may have the same cons going on that I do in my own campaign.
It makes me wonder- how many women who are with black males actually did not do so of thier own Will? If you go with another race becuz you WANT TO and that is your true personal taste I have no problems with it, as this was so years ago. However, when something is being marketed to you in youth via culture especially mind control through media and then there is evidence that this can be done via actual mind control tech...thats just too much. Talk about a conspiracy! Another one that no one is going to believe. OH WELL its not my job to care about what people think of me as a victim, a target or an author. Too much has happened to me for me to care.

I honestly think its for the benefit of all races, sexes etc for this info to come out no matter how its received. Humans, ALL HUMANS deserve to have their own Wills to make decisions, not brainwashing to create some crazy perfect world order. THAT is what is crazy.
Perps coming out rite now while panhandling. Central sq canbridge c.V.S

Only Two More Years To Write the Expose

Its amazing just what was done to me in this country. And how it could be gotten away with. I want to say it was a result of me being poor but I know that is a misconception. I know my mother is a documented survivor of the radiation experiments. I know that Survivors of mind control get harassed like this.

Society wants to believe that it was due to my social status or some other factor. I am just learning how badly I was kept from the truth as well as how I was kept from my rights. The only way this could happen in the US is if someone is a target to begin with. Since I have been kept down my whole life, mind controlled and targeted there wouldnt have been any other outcome anyway. Thats why I dont feel bad about any of this. I was supposed to die of suicide programming and since I beat that when the system came after me I was supposed to suicide.

The fact I am in ill health now that will end my life in a few years is not surprising. America is a bloodthirsty, violent, greedy country who's standard of living is based on slavery even today. My situation could not have turned out any other way.

People like this TI that was prob a perp in AZ piss me off with trying to lessen the abuse with happy endings. WHILE these people are destroying you and your future, they show you photos of happy couples and say stupid shit like "Oh thats my friend, she was poor and had nothing all her life and then she got married to this man and has a good life". NOW do you know why TI's or mind control survivors snap? How much of this can one person take? Its just like Gitmo. Yer being tortured and no matter what happens to you yer kept from justice and knowing your rights, even for the simple stuff. Everyone around you is useless especially your family of course who will just write you off the way they always have been.

This b*tch actually had the audacity to tell me this story and show me this photo as some sort of ideal that would keep me going in hopes for a future or some sort of consolation price after the system was done taking my youth and future away. I cant wait to tell my story so people can see how outrageous this is. This is why people have to ignore me becuz they know the abuse and the keeping me from knowing my rights was so illegal that if anyone ever admitted I was anything but mentally ill they would all be taken to court. There is no way that anyone is going to do anything for me so I will just tell on everyone and let the world decide the fate of America and every other country (UK, Israel to name a few) that was in on this...yes those three countries in on my campaign alone. They are so desperate to hide the reality of mind control slavery from the public they will do anything and deny everything to continue to perpetrate these crimes against the victims.

It was like I was supposed to look at this picture of this ugly, middle aged white trash broad and actually equate myself with her and her ugly, fat but well to do husband. Its called more brainwashing. Aim low..really low. That is what the f*cks in this system want for me. That is how arrogant they are about who I am.

Hmph. Even homeless my body still is amazingly shapely and buxom. I still retain some facial structure even though I look very aged now compared to when this started.

Its disgusting the way they want to write your future for you. Rebecca in St Loius was actually trying to get me to get married and have a baby. The people involved in these campaigns know that mind control Survivors are very vulnerable and alot of the harm that destroys us over time is the careless and ill treatment from people in the gang stalking system. For some reason, people from all walks of life in my experience in America are extremely arrogant towards me as well as seem to keep backing up me being mind controlled by handling me and never telling me the truth about what is going on. Its disgusting. Its also based on the way that I look. America and probably other western countries is brainwashed into believing that women who are built as well as in some sort of sex industry job both deserve this treatment like slaves, have the minds of children by nature not mind control and are not naturally intelligent or capable.

Either that or whoever is behind this has the entire country in thier control with agents working for them in the millions across the USA.

There was a period of time when everyone seemed to know me across the country.

It doesnt matter why becuz it could be a trick. Say for instance that the system thought it could get away with a reality show I didnt know about and actually broadcast it somewhere. Or someone put out a video either of me in my apartment or Jake putting something out like a sex tape.
Under these circumstances it would explain why people across the USA recognized me and knew who I was. However the fact that a former KGB agent has documented in his memoirs that at least 200 agents would publicly, but covertly swarm on just one enemy agent in a public space, it stands to reason that these could be set ups to make the person think that the public in general are in on this and know who they are. 200 to 1 sounds about right for getting mobbed by perps in a public place.

I never paid heed to what was done to expose some part of my life becuz first of all I was always working from the inside out whereas the perps were working from the outside in. All I knew was my internal programming system and three layers of suicide programming, I barely knew what was going on outside of that at that time. Also it doesnt matter what they do or what the stupid peasants outside the castle walls see. It doesnt matter what he mere public thinks or knows. They are a tool of the perpetrator(s). They do not count in the game itself.
ALL that matters is the dirt I have on people as well as internal programming. THAT is what matters not what the public thinks so I always disregarded them no matter what happened. They dont matter due to the fact that they are either uninformed about the real circumstances what they think they are looking at or they are a trick and are actually operatives acting out on a Target. So either way in the real game they are meaningless players. What can they do for me in meeting my goals or finishing my mission? Nothing. So they are useless to the end I must meet.
And if they get in the way of work or completing task then they are even more to be ignored if not shunned completely. They are mostly in the way thats all. Until they take responsibility for not only thier actions but finally be honest with me I have no respect for them at all.

None of these people ever came up to me and tried to tell me I had rights and they still do not. Most jerks in the USA smile at me with a handling smile so I will continue to stay ignorant. The public is my worst enemy becuz they did not seem to assist me when I was being murdered, which of course is what I expected from humans en mass, which is why I aint all broken up inside over it. Remember just WHY Luciferians of all kinds from all the brotherhoods both black hoods and brown at thier core hate humans. Weak, easily enslaved, sheep, afraid to die, cant see into the future, cant recall the past, cant read what the overlords are up to behind the curtain- f*cking useless in battle basically. Only certain factions believe some humans are worthy, strong, smart and worth helping.

Its just like I posted before- this is akin to a video game and they are for the most part annoying characters that get in yer way but dont do much else. What matters is making the ones who are worthy aware that they are being fooled or deceived in the worst way imaginable since Bush got into office. Thats all I am still here for. Its all that matters. All that nonsense the public did to me the mocking and trying to confuse me into believing anything--it is inconsequential.

If Jake put out a sex video all I have to say is that he's a total fashion victim and a trendy a-hole. A sex video? F*ckin totally passe. THAT is what I would be embarrassed about. Not content but the fact that he could not have thought up something more original or ahead of trend than what the boring masses were doing. That is sooo disgusting, and they are sooo disgusting. They are just so painfully uncreative. It makes me want to vomit. But hey, when you been the fat kid all yer life and yer whole family keeps pressuring you to give up yer band even though you have genuine talent and yer approaching 30 I guess to a rich kid controlled by those factors, any chance to get ahead looks good. Even if it means proving just how suburban and common you really are.
Its so typical that upper middle class people were mostly responsible for destroying me. That is so thier game too. They just dont know any better. You have to understand something about them- they think they are rich. Also the reallly loaded trust fund kids in on this from NA, the ones who's kids are on welfare but thier families are loaded...hahaha you have no idea just who is abusing your welfare system do you? The really wealthy are so cheap its ridiculous and they will destroy anyone to get what they need or want. That NA crowd are pathetic monsters. I wish someone would have told me it was mostly full of disgusting, psychopathic rich kids from trust funds- I wuda been outta there. If anyone needs to be gotten postal on its those meetings full of those assholes from Brookline, Watertown and Newton. I relish the day it finally happens.
Interestingly, people in the poor ghetto meetings are probably equally as viscous and disgusting in this area of the country. Its the upper classes and thier little house slaves, steam rolling over poor whites and poorer suburban folk whenever they can. And I cant wait to tell the whole world every little detail of how they live...hopefully one day I can read about every little detail of how they died too. Ahh, its just a fantasy though. Too bad really. And all thier little cop friends too.
Like the two c*cksuckers from the Cambridge police that thought the whole thing was a joke and actually tried to demand I go out to dinner with them. A black cop at that? Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting that he would even be able to speak to me in that manner. The white cop stopped his bs once he realized I wasnt an idiot. Ever day I see thier cop cars in Cambridge I re run that memory. Ever day of every year I am alive and I will keep running it until the whole world can read it and that book is finally manifested into material reality for eternity.

And I WILL find some way to make it so it doesnt go out of print as well. I am never going away and I will never let up on any of them. Every single one of them that f*cked with me is now owned by me forever in my memories and I am going to keep using them to get revenge for as a long as I am alive. Those bitches in St Patricks, white trash coal burners like Lynn, said I am just trying to "get back". Another total idiot who thinks that public opinion matters, too stupid to realize that I fought three layers of suicide programming to stay alive so I am actually a winner in this. THIS IS WHY THE PUBLIC MUST BE CODDLED BY THE PERPS NOW. THEY SERVE TO KEEP DOWN ALL THIER ENEMIES WITH THE ILLUSION THAT THEY AS A MOB ACTUALLY MATTER AND SAID SYSTEM WILL KEEP THAT ILLUSION ALIVE AS LONG AS THEY ARE OF USE TO THEM. But notice when the American public are of no use to them they just pick of thier numbers and treat them like shit? Believe me, I am writing this book for only a select number of people.

The beauty of the stupid ones, which is most people who think I am stupid or that I have been destroyed merely by the cops or whatever bs story is out there still- is that they are so stupid that they wont believe my story to begin with. People like Carmen who think no one cares about me. And that horrid deformed woman at St Patricks who once tried to cover for gang stalking by saying that anyone who believes that people are talking about them is basically paranoid.

I did a little experiment. I tried to make friends with some of these types and of course they disappointed me and have no sense of loyalty, fairness nor do they watch each other's backs nor understand how to return favors to keep the pack tight. Becuz they are not travelers and they are not tribal homeless people. They are not a pack they are a hen house. When trouble comes they cant handle it for shit. Which showed me that no matter how much I want to be like normal people I am not like them. I am a wolf and ever time I try to stay somewhere like St Patricks it becomes quite obvious in time that I am a wolf in a hen house and I end up promptly leaving due to that reality. I am just a wolf who has been set out alone, mortally wounded and had my mate ripped from me. But one must keep moving on. Becuz one day revenge will be in my path and I will be watching and waiting from the outside, like the banished wolf, to take full opportunity.

I have no problems talking about them now, that I see I never should have tried to be in thier world. I just get tired I guess and the wounds are pretty bad. I just need to play dead like they are temporarily to gain strength back. To live in thier little pretend world of Nowhere with thier little conversations about Nothing. Thier boring tv shows and petty talk about common people's common affairs. I think its a form of therapy to submit one's self to the opposite of intellectual stimulation and just relax.

That whole attempt to prime me for some future, a happy ending where some middle aged, doughy middle class rich guy rescues me. Its all so disgusting. You can tell that they purposely dont want you to have a good life becuz they lower your expectations like that WHILE they are taking away any chance you might have had to get a really rich guy or have some sort of exciting career where you could have made it on your own. And the woman in AZ that was peddling this bs was so ungodly ugly. Like most perps, just common and ugly. Husband left her the whole deal.

And the most offensive thing is this idea that I am some sort of stupid white trash like the b*tch in that photo where I would settle or even deserve just that out of life. Did this b*tch realize who she was talking to? I was a good looking talented woman, and its taken alot of manpower and years to make me average. And I still look better than your 'average' American female. They gotta put me out with black chicks probably, becuz more black women are good looking with slammin bodies by nature and since this beats them every time they have to degrade them by class and culture to get over women who are obviously by nature superior in build. I am not talking about good looking white women I am talking about that horrid average female in the US, and have no 'soul' whatsoever and arent pretty or sexy even if they try. Its not like Europe, the stock over here. I dont know Ive been kept down with the peasants all my life.
So they have to degrade me so they dont have to admit there is good EU dna and there is peasant DNA, which they have mostly the latter not the former. You dont need a DNA test to tell quality its that simple.
Thats why smear campaigns exist. To make nature's winners into society's losers. Total fabrications, total fantasy fullfilled by human efforts. And that is just why this is so illegal. By totally illegal means that break laws concerning both human rights and civil rights my life and potential was destroyed and taken from me as well as my health was ruined. In order to validate that and make it look like it wasnt done by force they have to smear the victim.

They then use the public and give them no consequences for thier actions.

What is so obvious to those that are NOT peasants in on this is that in order to have something of this magnitude, THIS illegal go down, it would have to be backed by some pretty heavy forces higher up either in organized crime or govt. Your average moron in on mobbing someone does NOT have access to an entire Greyhound bus across the south west or from Tenn to ABQ. Your average mobbing group does NOT have the money nor the permission to gas someone to knock them out then mess with them then gas them into being awake again, with so much manpower. Average mobbing groups dont have the Bloods doing thier dirty work for them across the country, like contractors.

Its got to be some faction that no one can touch which is why they get away with what they do.

Now you see why the petty details dont matter. What Jake did doesnt matter, what people saw doesnt matter, what the Irish scum at Porter Bellies saw or what they think they know does not matter. If they didnt cooperate they wouldnt have had thier bar refurbished soon after my take down like they did, like so many groups did for payment, they probably would have had a mysterious fire that would burn down thier place actuallly. Its not that I excuse thier actions becuz I would seriously be the happiest woman alive if that place burned down, hopefully with the same patrons in it that helped destroy my life when I lived across the street, it just explains the simple ways that this system gets people to cooperate. And what is the life of one stupid ho anyway, who seems to have no human value? We can just run her out of town right? I wonder if they knew that after I was run out of thier little territory that I would be poisoned, abducted, attempted murder, gassed, tortured with non lethal weapons and technologies or do they know anything about RA or MK Ultra? I highly doubt they are that smart, and I would like to believe that until I die. If they are that clever than its true- we DO live in a world that is geared to be a total conspiracy where a few select human beings are knowingly and actively kept out of the loop and kept down as SLAVES, all with the full knowledge of a seemingly stupid public, that isnt really that stupid.

Which means either way they are all f*cked.

TI's must be careful now. All those years of abuse are still with us and finally, the harassment has seemed to stop. What will happen now? People like me with legit beefs will start to feel safer and safer to express thier anger. However after that kid lost it in AZ I suspect that this is nothing but a trap to get us to act out or even write provocative things. You have to remember, like the arrogant scumbag cops involved in this they sit back menacingly with full knowledge of what they have done to a Target and just wait at thier leisure like the assholes they are, for that person to finally act out. cops are trained in psychology and they seem to take full advantage of all thier training to get the upper hand on the victims of oppression that many of them are very much in on- not ALL but many. I see them hanging around corners still or trying to pull of intimidation still. Joke really. I just look at them now and they turn away. I think they know I have lost all respect for anyone with a badge unless I can 'read' that they are innocent of being in on this bs or they are truly doing thier job. Cops are pretty programmed. If you reach in you can tinker with the wiring some. Like that cop in SD, the older one who I got to actually do his job. Now he could be said to have potential as a human being and as a good cop, its at his core. That younger guy, the sleazy green eyed kid, the one that zoned out with a good old fashioned thousand yard stare (ptsd memories much my darling? just wait till you turn 35 hahaha) who had no conshunce in assisting Albertson's to screw me out of justice and at the same time try to frame me. I still have to write that internal affairs letter and I will to. They can keep me forgetting all the time but I will find a way to remember and get it done. Little scum bag. Trying to intimidate me and talk me out of filing a report. I guess the poor there dont have..er, any muscle they way they do here to make life difficult for cops out west. Pity pity. Even the dirt poor here have some brains.

And that little old bastard from D-14. I have his name on file somewhere. Hes the scum that poor tenement kids used to tell me he worked thier public housing units and he'd just abuse the hell out of people due to them being poor like that. He's the genius that told me outright that Barbara Pettiti gives him a stipend every month.

You may want to say this is old school corruption, but its simply being replaced by younger cops who only know fascism from Iraq and Bush. Its hopeless really.
What upsets me most about the police is thier interference in my affairs. Since when did I become thier property or thier bitch? They have absolutely no juristiction over me as far as mind control or controlling me or my life the way they have since 2003. Who do they think they are? And I know they are in on this becuz that fat jerk who works at Amazing sex shop in downtown as well as Fenway told me so. Its unbelievable that people would go along with a faction as lowly as the police in this. One has to remember that the police are either Satanists, military or CIA or organized crime or a meeting of any of the above in order to get away with this. I did nothing for the police to either have such power over me nor to legally be able to partake in such actions to manipulate and control as they have.
The good thing about this is that I can take every single thing that every cop did and link it to the stuff that is obviously NOT the police like the gassings, poisonings and abductions etc etc.

Either way I get my revenge becuz
-if they are NOT involved it takes power away from them finally and lets the public know that this was not the police this was a faction that infiltrated the police that was involved such covert activities, and was merely using them as a cover as they often take such actions posing as many kinds of people in society. Its the REAL big boys behind these actions not local jerk off ya-hoos who they pay off, fear and worship like a fetish. Genuine respect is one thing, fear and a bizarre almost sexualized 'love' of the police. Creepy. I guess you can beat any population down into empty mindless worship...WITH MIND CONTROL. And it was so sickening, recalling my mother going into the Brighton police station, and they all being on the same page. F*ck them and fuck her as well. Gheppeti may have been a jerk but at least he let me know who the real assholes are and they seem to have been at D-14 and kissing my mother's ass becuz of some dirt she has on them back from the 70's at Kens. Morons.

-If they ARE involved then we have a very serious problem here in the USA where the police are part of a nationwide conspiracy and obvioulsy connected to military factions who are not only harassing targeted persons heavily but are involved with mass mind control on a national level.

Either way there needs to be more awareness of just how out of control the people IN control are right now. Especially with thier citizen goons who worship at their feet and do their bidding, the whole system is most likely normal to most citizens. This is the way they get thier affairs tended to, this is normal life for them.

That is what the cops kept telling me a few years ago when I would get terrorized (more brutal than you can imagine) and they would send perp cops to respond to the call, who would say sh*t like "This is real life ya know" or that this is what life is about or more of trying to minimize the abuse and lower my expectations in life. This is the way normal life is.

I have never seen group of grown men so determined to cover thier asses in my life with brainwashing, mind control, intimidation or whatever else they could muster up.

They only reason they have stopped now most likely is they know I have that allergic reaction and that upsetting me or making the wrong moves with foods or chemicals could kill me. Gee whats up tough pricks, thought you WANTED to kill me and torture me, cuz thats what you been doing. ALso they see how I am basically retarded now and in bad health from years of mold exposure and gang stalking and everything they were in on as well as the shit the bigger factions pulled in places like St Louis or the Southwest.

Before I die, which will be in a few years, I will have the American public know just how far the cops go in this, that its not just the military acting without connections to the civilian populations. The cops now work for the oppressors. I have encountered a few instances of cops helping me out or warning me about gang stalking or my being possibly hurt but that is in places where there is still rebellion like TN or the mid west where people still believe in thier own rights to run thier own lives not thier govt, and they KNOW its the govt too, dont take it from me saying so, as I never outright say that anyway as I will not be written off as paranoid.

That book is going to come out and then I can do just whats predicted in my programming.

Delta Dawn in the song she dies at 41, after everyone pretty much perceives her as crazy. I have always stood by the idea I have til that age to complete this project. The braindamage and my tooth infection making its way up my jaw cant be a good thing, and now I cant have any procedures or take medicines due to allergies. I am pretty much screwed no so its time to go for the suicide bombing last stretch of the race: that book is my bomb and I can no longer care about health or about my living situation. I only have time left (and sanity) to get down everything that happened and deliver the information. After that it doesnt mattter, hopefully by then my health will be ruined and I will have the sense to check out becuz I am NOT going to be one of these homeless old ladies that is sickly and just goes downhill.

I will NOT live in a reality where I used to be someone or look attrative. That would be giving the perps what they want. I have seen this in person. I have seen them mess with really retarded or f*cked up people, and they just do NOT care about other human beings. YOu have to understand this is thie JOB. They take destroying someone very seriously. So seriously that one can see they take alot of Will Power to suppress thier natural human instinct to NOT kill other humans especially the weak and vulnerable ones like myself. Another indication of it being military or CIA. The total scum that can kill innocent women or children easily, who does that bring to mind? Right. Thats how the black perps were in Gainesville Florida. They had no conscience at all and there was perps waiting for me at the bus station too. They flooded the area I was in near the local shelter and hostel, like a swarm of ants, and they all were greedy and into this mobbing a target thing. The main one with most brains seemed to be the one with the most nasty streak in his soul, as he seemed to push his Will totally forward, to steam roll over any normal human emotion about what he was doing to other human beings. Great guys really. Hopefully he will die in an accident while working somewhere. lol.

F*ck all these people. I am now confident that my health has spiraled into something that cannot be fixed due to this allergic reaction to foods and medicines. I can hardly remember simple things and I cant really function. They are going to get what they want and its only going to be a matter of years before I really start to show the full blown effects of such damage now that I cant take herbs or medicines or vitamins. And I am sure they will all do thier usual best in the USA to ignore me.

Its a toss up wether to just grind through the book and go for broke or try to focus on getting out of here if scum bag Mormon gets in 2012. The book is certainly worth more to me as if I move overseas I cannot guarentee that it will get published here. I can always put everything on the internet for free and back up copies to give to people so in case they take it down it will always be a reference. its obvious that I cant really write a real book at this point I just dont have enough time left nor can I function anymore. its going to have to be a straight expose and its going to have to be for fellow targets etc who will keep circulating the info afer I am gone. becuz I want that info to keep hurting them and messing up thier lives long after I am gone. I want the very worst things to come to them and thier families. In fact I would be willing to take my own life in a ritual that guarenteed what was left of my human life energy somehow was directed at destroying as many of my enemies as possible through the act of my dying. My life is still worth that, as a human entity I know.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

"You have an excellent grasp on the situation. I as well know the 'hobo' lifestyle and many cities like Chicago, San Francisco and Seattle have inexpensive hostels that make it easier to survive and keep ones sanity. Sadly I am stuck in Boston where hostels are few and expensive. The shelter situation in Boston is a farce. The Pine Street Inn is a huge scam, and don't even get me started about the Salvation Army and their slave labor programs. I have a blog as well at http://60andhomeless.blogspot.com/ The recent saga of Ted Williams ( the man with the radio voice ) will only make things harder. This mid level comic Chelsea Handler blogged this last night : " While there are certainly a few people who have a run of bad luck and fall on hard times, 'for the most part', people are homeless for a reason. You don't wake up one day and find yourself living under a freeway unless you've made some pretty bad decisions in your life. Just because someone has a nice voice doesn't mean that they should automatically be able to keep their s--t together."
Read more:
http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/chelsea/chelseaness/b222435_Fifteen_Minutes_of_Shame.html Stay Safe
By Sixty and Homeless on On becoming houseless or a traveller at 5:28 AM"


http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/chelsea/chelseaness/b222435_Fifteen_Minutes_of_Shame.html
This woman is the typical b*tch who shoots low and gets results from basically criticizing others without any real cause for doing so. I have posted before on her close connections to Comcast (who did alot of interesting things for CIA during Bush) through her ex-boyfriend who basically made her career possible.
She's like a porn star version of Nancy Grace, another woman with no true substance that depends on dissing other women as well as the less fortunate to gain notoriety for herself.

During Britney Spear's hardships being fed to the wolves in the early 2000's, this woman had the audacity to have K-Feds ex girlfriend/ baby's Mama on her show just to showcase the adversary of a person being bullied severely. In that episode she also intimated that Britney and other young people are screwed up becuz its the parent's fault. Facing the fact the industry itself destroys starlets as well as purposeful covert ops is too close to the truth I guess.

I wont get into it but this woman has done other things, including posing in posters for her show wearing outfits that are nothing but the trendy Illuminati symbolism that we see everywhere now especially in hip hop.
Her blondeness, her intelligence and her looks and forwardness gets her noticed and admired in a culture that is on shaky legs like a newborn foal when defining exactly what makes a female warrior. America is just inexperienced enough with this archetype to misjudge this woman for just that.
In other countries this type of woman is understood for what she is doing, what she is peddling.

What does Chelsea Handler know about being homeless?
There should be an anti defamation league for the homeless. People should not be able to compromise our safety by smearing us with statements that are pure conjecture or assumptions.

Not everyone is a sociopath involved in cut throat Hollywood culture who will get drunk with her boyfriend who has good connections to get her career on track and then dis him out the door once she's firmly on her own two feet.
Some of us are working on spiritual matters which is not very Capitalist I understand that.

Also Chelsea is not considering people like The Clash and other artists who were squatters. In this way Chelsea fully supports the disinformation of the system. She's like a cheaper, more ignorant and less attractive version of Ann Coultier, who at least excels at bitchery. Chelsea has to work her porn star lookin ass harder, due to NOT being a lawyer and not having much class or style outside of the insular cultural definitions of Hollywood. If you have looked at some of the faces of those celebrities lately and compared them to Hollywood's golden era or other artistic hubs like models or European beauties, you know what I am talking about. Most of them look so ugly, so unperfected that its obvious that they got where they are by connections. Chelsea Handler is a notch above the average Hollywood looker as well as having a strong personality. She's obviously somewhat intelligent but attacking other women especially based on class is a no no. You're being one of the boys, which is pretty STUPID not smart.
Her career is mostly based in doing skits on her old show that once again made fun of people beneath her advantageous position, especially other women. She's intolerable.

For someone with her talent and looks and advantages to even approach the homeless issue with totally nonconstructive criticism is ridiculous. Luckily a fool like her has only as much influence as will echo through Hollywoodland and perhaps out into America but has not political weight. Americans tend to be sensible for the most part about being adverse to merging church and state and that applies to the merging of sex goddess bimbos or mammy's (think Oprah) and state as well.

Actually our styles are very similar in being opinionated but she seems to represent the status quo- the agenda and she doesnt speak from experience nor does she make effort to be fair or accurate in her facts. What references does she have to back up her claims that most people are under bridges due to bad decisions? None. In fact, no one really does enough research to accurately claim they have a good understanding of various demographics within the homeless community. One has to take into account that homeless people lie out of fear and intimidation to get fed, clothed and sheltered. The intake process is discriminatory and resembles blatant leading of a witness in court. Its f*cking illegal as hell and one day, its going to stop.

What she is doing is ultimately the same thing as people immediately smearing TI's as mentally ill without investigation. Its spreading of purposeful disinformation. What else would be her motive for expressing her views in such a particular crafted way? Say for instance that we are working on the assumption that she is a disinfo agent covering for organized stalking and harassment campaigns. From this view her work seems more transparent. What else would be her motive for not being sensible or scientific and considering other reasons for homelessness? Most people who are that kind of homeless are either veterans of wars who have damage so bad psychologically that they can no longer function around people. Also, we do have the good old fashioned drunks. Then you have targeted people whether they know it or not. Then there are the truly severely mentally ill that are so disordered that they cant function in society so isolate themselves. (How is that a bad decision?) The drug addicts tend to stay in the cities and in scenes so they can get thier fixes daily but I have seen them outside mostly in places convenient to a city area. Homeless drunks are as ancient as the day man invented wine.

She is making judgements without any research or references to back up her claims.
There needs to be protections against such verbal abuses of this population.
Her argument could be paralleled with the assertion that people don't end up under bridges for years on end if the society they live in didnt make some pretty bad decisions. But of course, stalking and harassment of certain individuals is seen as ultimately a good decision for society. And for that, she picks on the victims of political oppression or other misfortune.

She is living and hailing from the totally insular reality of Hollywood and none of us out here on the front lines have time for her crap.
And god help us if she ever decided to come out to see what being homeless is like becuz I can predict right now it will be the exact same thing as Hanoi Jane during Vietnam where Fonda was so useful to the enemy. Remember the bumper stickers? "I aint Fonda (fond of) Hanoi Jane"? This would be Chelsea's role except she'd probably do even more discrediting of the homeless by going out there. She would never get dirt under her nails doing that nor would I expect her to show any sort of real interest in factual life, due to that action being a step towards joining humanity as well as raising your standards to something similar to real grown up journalism.

She's too busy being the coolest b*tch around to do any actual work for humanity. Which means her opinions on such things should continue to be ignored by anyone with any real political power.

Monday, January 24, 2011

"jew site:http://ongangstalking.blogspot.com"/ The Hidden Evil book

This was listed as the least popular key word search to find this blog in traffic on my stats. The fact it is used at all is infuriating.

FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT A JEW! Why is that so hard to understand? I am Lithuanian and Italian among other things so I look Jewish to some people due to the Eastern EU features and the dark coloring. Sheesh. My ex who looks like mr. Nordic/Anglo southern boy who is brat from Newton MA is actually the Jew technically, through his mother so its definite! They changed thier name down south from Jacobson to something else, I forget. Hmmm... Jacobson..Jacobsen or Jacobsson or -ssen. This may be where he gets his blonde from. After migrating from elsewhere of course. It could be carried over from England as well.

I am very sensitive about this. Not only did Cochran who owns that hostel in MO try to make insinuendos about my being a Jew, the harassment in all of the St Louis MO area seemed based on the misconception of me being Jew.
Also a woman here who was more Sicilian looking in on the cover story fed investigation crap seemed to think my ancestors were "of Jewish decent".


Trying to put this together with no resources. I can build on it later when I have alot of computer time at a college as I know one can look up actual records of arrivals in the US as far back as I need.
My maternal grandparents are:
Grandfather- New Orleans LA. His father: (Holland),his mother: (Germany). Both house servants in New Orleans early 20th century.
Grandmother-Waltham, MA. Her father: (French Canada, traced back to Paris, France), her mother: (Cork, Ireland)

My paternal grandparents are:
Grandfather- Pittsburgh, Penn.Polish/Lithuanian decent. His father: (Lithuania). This surname can be traced back to Belgium in the 14 century as its first mention anywhere in history. His mother:?
Grandmother-Stoneham, MA. Her father: (Italy). Her mother: unknown surname also from the old country.

Sooo, where the hell is the supposed Jew from? The greats from down south were Lutherans and the ones from up north were Catholics.

The whole thing is so obnoxious. For that to even be an excuse at all for this kind of harassment in this day and age is unacceptable to begin with but to add that to my campaign as attempted smear to cover up for trying to cover asses in a federal investigation, a diversion or from my rich kid boyfriend's drug busts and ultimately to silence myself and my mother's claims from damages resulting from radiation experimentation as well as my own experience as a victim witness to programming/RA.

And this is an example of how stupid the perps are. Its not even accurate. And it makes me laugh that the kid they were trying to protect actually has Jew blood as well as my old associate has many valuable friends and clients that are Jews. Rich Jews, important Jews locally and in entertainment. What kind of a bizarre plan was this?

Nothing about gang stalking makes sense. The main players in this seem to know the target is a mind control survivor and they play on that. Also during Bush, there is no way to prove this other than testimony but during that administration there was alot of mind control used on targets. To get them to act crazy, freak out and to make the actions of the gang stalking alot more effective ultimately.

I am reading this book The Hidden Evil by Mark M Rich. I thought I knew it all from going through all this material years ago. I realize that I have lost grasp on my situation. A mutual TI gave me it to read and its done very well. Its alot more positive and well thought out than this blog which is really a record of one Target's way through the maze over years and if I can inform or assist along the way then fine.
Its very validating.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Post by Text 1/22/2011

Location: Woods Mullen Homeless Shelter,(old morgue at Boston City Hopsital) Boston MA. Officially part of the Boston Health Commission.

(5am)-Again 5 am. I feel like i cud do anything. I know that by 6 am i will not b able 2 even think of doing activism or anythng else truly
-Meaningful or productive. My posts last nite reflect how i am diverted daily from doing just that
-Ive bcome a wonderfully docile and polite person but that isnt getting anything done is it? Which is the desired result i am sure

(6am)-Just kicked in within last minute or 2. I can feel it
-I feel better about my situation but i also just experiencd immediate loss of much of what i was thinking about.
-Everytime i stay here i feel wound up in morning cant sleep-until 6:45 am. I then feel relaxed like i can sleep. Everyday same time
@ woods mullen shelter i always feel 'hit' by something. My body actually jerks from it if i am in the relaxd state b4 sleep. Often can actualy b felt as waves
Of charged energy
-This does not occur in cambridge shelters

-For me 2 logically focus on the past this much something traumatic must have happenened. Mental illness is just 2 easy a coverup especially on a female target.
I know now y i was smeared etc and targeted. My building had cell repeaters on roof Nextel & this was not only making me crazy during Bush it seemed 2 be
Utilized as a delivery system 4 torture. The risk 2 the system is if its finaly admitted that towers or electromag have any affect @ all on humans then it will
Snowball in2 public understanding how such tech can b used 4 mind control

Friday, January 21, 2011

Texts By Post 1/21/2011

Woods Mullen Homeless Shelter Boston MA. Kitchen, overflow area, mats on floor. TV had Criminial Minds TV show on. "Penelope" episode 9 of season 3. Found it a bit relavant

-Criminal minds was on tv cudnt control. ('culdnt control' :in other words I it was in my face as the tv is on til 11:30 wether we like it or not and its really loud so eventually if yer tired enough but cants sleep you end up taking in content off the tv) F.B.I profiles people well.Wondr if they profile then manipulate survivors..Under the guise of smething legit of course
-Thus assisting other factions in their goals ..Covertly of course
-The system wud have us believe we r bad people-that its 4 the greater good of all

(I can tell by reading this I was on the side of reeling tired as well as probably cold. I came in late from a day drop in).

Cover Stories

Recently I overheard what I believe is the running cover story and has been for years. I am more annoyed than relieved at how much of my life has been destroyed by simply lacking data. By keeping me from information its been easy for the system and system to isolate me and keep me from the truth. Is so devious to let the rest of the outside world in on a cover story but not allow the TI to know. Which makes it easy to keep the person from defending themselves.

Two kids the other day got into it with me over something. One kid started to say "Yer the dumb one.." and his friend stopped him by getting in front of him and basically telling him not to tell my anything more. Which means people either believe I am indeed crazy and its not cool to reveal that to me or they are covering for the crime gangs involved who's years of work would be screwed if I knew what went down.

I got it on film and was pissed. After all this hard work your average person still doesnt get what gang stalkikng is about nor how its connected to things that make it impossible to get out of easily. I couldnt have had anymore control over my situation than I do now.

So over the years the cover story seems to be the same as today.
I think the story line is that my ex boyfriend drove me crazy either to get me out of the way so he could move on or due to something I was doing in my private life that hurt him somehow socially and or personally.

Thats it. That is all I have been hearing over the years. My ex had me driven crazy.

Can you believe that? People really are that stupid and oppressed in the US. They believe that someone like Jake would have that much power.
And there is no mention of my former associate having to be protected during a federal investigation as well as her clients so that rendering me mentally ill even temporarily makes me testimony or anything I said privately to be used against me or others to testify against anyone-null and void.

People actually believe that a campaign of this magnitude could be caused by some two bit rich kid from Newton.
This started in 1996 after my mother got harassed out of going to the Pres Advisory Commitee as a radiation experimentee. It also could have been done under the guise of a growing federal investigation, perhaps with the 2005 federal busts being rooted in long time survaillence and harassment. Perhaps this harassment was corrupt FBI or other factions who wanted to assist in discrediting me knowing that an investigation of such magnitude was going to go down later in the years. Of course the deeper and main motivation is to cover up for me being programmed and an RA survivor.

Let me tell you something. In order to do something this destructive, one has to have the OK from top levels. This is why it was gotten away with during Bush. Technically in some ways it was legal.
If the mob were a part of my problems then I guess I should be grateful there have been busts over the last few years. I guess they are part of the problem as a whole. They'll only be replace by other factions though. I have seen the gs system during Bush especially cause more violence and suffering than solve crimes.

US Divorces Mafia and Marries New Crime Organizations to Take Care of Black Market Business and Dirty Deeds

By being so tough on organized crime as well as the constant busts I read about locally in government such as police, parole boards, etc one is going to be convinced that justice is being done. It makes Obama seem like an administration not lenient on crime as well as makes a great diversion from tackling the issue of all the injustice that people got away with during Bush. Its a great diversion. It takes the focus off the gross abuses of power during this past era that certainly seemed to include utilizing organized crime and other crime groups to get dirty work done.

Its not fooling me however as its just another part of the brainwashing scheme for this era. Instead of tackling the past abuses of power they keep presenting justice as continuously being served, which of course also does two other things. Justifies the budgets of many factions and disturbingly, validates the idea that only official authority can solve crime or can designate what crimes are worth solving. Again, everyone else is a terrorist or mentally ill..I know thats extreme but that is what it amounts to if very sarcastically expressed by me. Its just very inappropriate that the FBI and other factions after such abuses during Bush are now focusing on govt corruption. They know also this draws heat off of them for thier part in abuses of power during that era.

Busting the long visible Italian mob is joke and everyone knows it. People have known about this culture for a long long time now. Most of these people gone legit by investing their money elsewhere by now. As usual Italians are an old reliable to pick on when you want to go after darkies but need the blacks as houseslaves or as diversions with liberalism. The American perception of Italians is still just dark and menacing enough to make a great villain to focus on. Note that in the mediascape it is purposely kept that way constantly. Like Scarface said: you need me to focus on, so you can hide. ( I know he character was Cuban).

The African American gangs are now having thier turn being in power and actually trying to deny as such. There are many other gangs as well, people who know how to be very stealth such as Asian crime syndicates. What about the Russians or any of these factions? Face it, without organized crime, America would cease to be.

Every vid I see people watching now promote black males as the new Italian gangsta hearthrob type like the rat pack era for Italians years ago. Its just a bit much to take during an administration pushing equality and a liberal agenda based on bleeding heart sentiment. The white establishment is finally going to pay its debt, and of course the third wavers who were never really allowed to be part of the America that was here before we arrived are going to either be absorbed, scapegoats, sacrificial gifts or diversions. The menacing Italian is now revolting to the American psyche and they now embrace the menacing African American ideal, which is presented as romanticized and idealized. The replacement of Suki and the Sopranos in place of the older Italian stereotype is even worse. Ironically, many people of WASP culture most likely have Roman blood due to British occupation by ancient Rome and many successful people have Roman DNA but official ITALIAN-Americans have never been given the same rank as WASPs in politics. There is a first time Italian American house speaker in the USA but of course his last name is Thomas. Nice and WASPy.

We dont see any of these ideals in American media:
Italian star Monica Belluci



Young Italian Beauty

Italian singer

Cristina Buccino

Or even this:


Italian black model. Many African Americans are trying very hard to look whiter by going blonde or the media featuring blacks that are light as the ideal. This is an affront to all dark peoples as it infers the same racism that Semetic peoples and southern Europeans alike get in countries that still idealize the Nordic/Germanic beauty type as the ultimate. In America to this day, dark EUROPEANS or whites are portrayed as evil or used to portray evil, or domineering. This also gives us the impression that American blacks are trying hard to stay with thier white counterparts that are the Anglo ideal.
Even our most famous black model has green eyes and is light whereas Naomi Campell is decidedly dark and proud of it. Thus we quietly and jokingly refer to Tyra Banks as the 'poor man's Naomi Campell'. A very American creation reflecting American preferences for lightness as social acceptablility. 'Blacker' images of African Americans are usually marginalized to ghetto culture or very 'black' culture in the US. In fact only Latin stars reflect any resemblance to Italians in the USA as popular media images.

Or even this:


There is no ideal for American motherhood or beauty or strength as this in American media. This is the same woman as you see in the first pic of Italian beauties above. SHE IS 46 YEARS OLD WITH HER NEWBORN BAMBINO. In America she would have been trashed by now and replaced with the next pedophile obsession like Brittany Spears was that ideal for years in her youth.

Or, sadly, even this(which I would like to see more of):

No American male beauty is allowed to be so precise nor have such a look in the eyes as this. That would mean that females would have to be able to return such intensity and America wants well behaved women not Euro strong women with normal sex and sensuality drives. Only Spanish television like Telemundo has guys that can even remotely dress properly or look good past age 50. Justin Beiber is yet another non threatening boy dream in a long history of such in the US to teach young American girls how to be tasteless and weak early on.

No, in the USA we have to have this be the Italian ideal:

[BARF!]

Ditto..


gross..

Or this image that is always in circulation and never seems to evolve. In fact they are made to look more cheap than the Godfather ever did, probably heading for the disposal unit as the news story above shows the Italian mob image has lost its usefulness:

The Addams Family it looks like. And what is up with the blonde in the WASPy Chanel get up? Is that really necessary? A bunch of brunettes is just too much for the USA to take isnt it?

This is just the coolest image isnt it?:



In this era if America did allow for anything but cheapest and lowest common denominator in media images, as on the fine art like pic of Monica Bellucci, they would have mobbed and destroyed her by now, in the ongoing insane quest for 'equality' by any means necessary it seems. Destroying our greatest beauties seems to be part of the agenda now. Lowering our tastes helps lower our intelligence. Its part of the dumb down of the nation.

So its the African American gangsta's time now and it seems times favor all new incoming immigrants from Africa, India etc. Take your moment in the sun now, but I warn you- if you dont become like them, or join one of the strict class definitions in the USA probably WASP or resemble them most, your original ethnic heritage will be thrown in the trash when its bastardized version is no longer of use to the agenda or it will forever remain vilified and used against you later to keep THIER ideals in power.

I should know. My maternal and paternal family are all blondes. My parents are the only two in each family to express any Spanish (black Irish) or Italian features such as dark hair or green eyes or olive skin. I was always secretly considered an abomination of two children straying from the genetic path. My mother hated me for being a 'Ginny' and getting on not only with Italians as a baby but with Latins naturally. I was told by an art teacher who knew at least the cover story, who was of Italian decent that one of the psychological tricks used in my campaign was that I was dark so it was easy to have me perceived as threatening or evil or dangerous, and this was during anti terror paranoia where I think people subconsciously were suspect of anyone with such features.

The latin and Italian cultures also seem less afraid of female sexuality. My body type was also used against me to back the idea I was stupid, a bimbo and that whatever immorality that was being exposed to use as a cover story would seem more like I deserved to be targeted.

Note that both my ex Jake even though he harbors actual Jewish blood, is the Germanic/Anglo southern boy ideal, my old associate Julie is WASP rich girl gone bad all the way, and my mother now hides behind a family that has white washed thier image with putting my uncle Tom's kids at the forefront as representative of thier success , she is blonde, blue eyed, an genetic engineer and an ordained minister (which means they sold out to the WASP ideal by dropping Catholicism I guess). These images that people are not conscious of were used in my campaign not only to vilify me but to make my betrayers and enemies look more socially acceptable.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

These were all said 2 me in person over the years
'her mother wants it done' was common and 'mothers do horrible things 2 their children'. 'your mother is sick'.
Both those parties my mother has issue with. & i was it was infered or overheard directly multiple times she is a major player in this...
It interesting i dnt get visions of mother or her family & ideations abot silencing me cover her ass especialy.like system want confshun bout former not latter
Just got visions of my old associate J. & ideation that this is all 2 protect her. Also of stepfather & i have embrssng info abot his past.
Inside and out of shelters. But by 6am i am no longer aware of this nor do i have the .Will nor the sense nor memory capacity 2 do any of those things.
4 am. I always wake up and imediately think abot my old friends-& my circumstances. I am now a reasonable person who realizes i shud get a lawyer or @ least get

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

1/19/11 post by text: missing boy/Aquino similarity

-Just saw pik of giovani the little boy who disappeard years ago in MA. Look @ his old foto. Looks like michael aquino's eyebrows and hairline....
-Interestingly when that foto came out it was just as i was discovering aqiuno's link to all this. Just as i was going 2 really dig in2 that, those fotos were...
-Plastered all over place especially 1 in kenmore sq. I was there every day panhandling. Silenced me REALLY quick.
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references:

(I also was hesitant to run with this as it may be a set up. Aquino may very well be all that he seems to be: satanist, military psy ops officer, pedophile and a large part of bringing in Nazism into the NWO. However, he is SO out with his image it also makes him a very easy target. And the gs system has a habit of misdirecting to buy themselves more time and waste the Target's time as well. Whether it was related to Aquino directly as a threat or not doesn't matter. It was a threat and it was intimidation. The reason it may be so passe is that I think everyone feels that Aquino is now safely past being called on anything really. And I know that..but it has to be documented all the same.)

http://projectjason.org/forums/index.php?topic=3746.70;wap2